Mama doesn't know what the hell she's talking about

The express wedding planning train just left the station, and there's a crazy mama hen on the tracks who's ready to call the groom's cluck. Can Liam say vows to Hope in front of Steffy, or will he choke, causing Taylor to win in her impromptu game of wedding chicken?

Mamas Hope and Steffy seek to heal their families by using Hope's wedding to demonstrate their blended family. The mamas think it's best for their children's futures, but the grandmas say the mamas do not know what the hell they are talking about.

Brooke and Taylor were adamantly against Steffy and Taylor attending the wedding -- that is, until Brooke uninvited them. Taylor didn't know what was worse, Hope's gall to invite them or Brooke's gall to disinvite them. "Oh, we're coming, all right! You can double confirm that!" the finger-wagging Taylor raged.

Brooke and Taylor aren't the only parents debating about their children. Katie struggled to get Bill back on the parenting bandwagon, but he needs more than a daddy intervention to help him bond with Will again. Will is old enough to tell Bill that being with him stinks. Come on, Bill. Will's right. Playing stock portfolio instead of video games really is lame.

Where are the six-foot televisions and virtual reality helmets? You're rich, Bill. I know you got them around there somewhere. I don't have kids, but video games save me every time I babysit -- every time. Maybe one day, I'll let the kids play instead of watch.

Will's real problem might be Thorne, who seems to be hogging the Katie controller from Will so Thorne can win Katie's heart. Notice I said it in present tense because Katie met Thorne's out-of-the-blue "I'm in love with you" declaration with crickets. Womp, womp.

Will didn't have problems when Wyatt was around, and it's probably because Will never saw anything suspicious about hanging out with his mom and brother all the time. Could Will really be acting out because he doesn't know Bill anymore, or is it because Will doesn't appreciate this new stranger being in his and his mom's life?

I'll bet Wyatt is much more fun for a child to play with than Thorne and Bill combined, and when it comes to playing in an adult arena, I wager that Katie would agree. That "hand-holding and climbing the stairs for sex" thing Thorne did was steaming cold, unlike Wyatt's pizza deliveries, which are what? Piping hot! Too bad for Katie, the delivery man parks in Sally's cul-de-sac now.

Let's get two scoops deep about the wedding-planner mamas versus the wedding-crasher mamas and brainstorm what Bill might need to do to up his game with his son Will, this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

Too legit to quit "But that -- but that was B.S."

Please, Lord, I pray that I never in my lifetime have to know that a guy I dated told the next woman that hooking up with me was just some B.S. he was doing until he met her! Please let me die in arrogant, ignorant bliss. Thank you. Amen.

In truth, the attention span moves on, and Wyatt can't concentrate on anyone but Sally. When Sally asked if he had any feelings left over for Katie, he readily said "that was B.S." He'd thought it had been legit until he'd hooked up with Sally. Imagine how much more simple Liam's life would be if he was more like his brother.

So far, Wyatt is still partying with Sally like he is in the unemployment line instead of going to work. Katie and Thorne cut out of work early and ran into Wyatt and Sally at the Bikini Bar. After awkwardly polite smiles and "Are you happy? Cause I'm happy. We're all so damn happy" statements from the exes, Wyatt and Sally took off.

Thorne asked if Katie was jealous, and she said she couldn't be jealous because she'd moved on with Thorne. Yeah, you're jealous, Katie. You blew it. Wyatt isn't looking back, and Sally isn't about to let go.

In front of Sally, Katie asked who Wyatt would date next. Sally quickly said there might not be a next, and "this," referring to her and Wyatt, might be it. That's right, Katie, you'd better go on and move on with Thorne, because Sally is too legit for Wyatt to quit!

Seeing Katie and Wyatt being intimate with other people takes some getting used to. Call me a nave romantic, but I really thought Wyatt and Katie had a good thing going on. They claimed that they broke up because of Will; however, now that we see Will doesn't want to get along with even his father, I wonder if it was shortsighted of Katie and Wyatt to break up over her son.

Bill was also a factor in the breakup, but Katie should have known already that Bill would have no love for the dressmaker's brother, either. It makes me question Katie's point of moving on to boring Thorne if she has to put up with Bill either way. And Thorne is boring. Y'all know it's true.

Thorne couldn't even spice up a women's empowerment meeting when he was the only male in the room, and he has zapped all the spice and spontaneity out of Katie's love life. Thorne turns hot sauce into weak sauce. Thorne makes an exotic dancer want to put her clothes back on. Thorne makes condoms roll themselves back up. Thorne can dry out the steam room. Thorne -- well, I think you guys get the picture.

If you disagree, maybe you can explain where all the lingerie, spontaneity, and role-playing in Katie's life went. Why did Katie have time for fun at a moment's notice, but when she hooks up with Thorne, it's suddenly all about schedules, nannies, and finding somewhere to put Will? Why did she not have those issues when Wyatt was around?

Let us know what you think. Which man is better for Katie -- Wyatt or Thorne? Is Thorne boring, or do I need to make an appointment with James Warwick to discuss what a real, healthy relationship is?

As for Sally and Wyatt, are they a legit couple? As much as Sally deserves a strong, single-focused man in her life, I feel robbed of the investment I made in Katie and Wyatt. It took time to get used to Katie boning her ex-stepson. I resent the writers taking us there, normalizing it, and then dumping us off in a dead-end alley instead of at Katie and Wyatt's wedding.

Do we dare invest in Thorne and Katie, or will their relationship just be a pit stop on the way back to Batie? Bill and Katie had an "if you were my wife" moment when Katie was pawning Will off on Bill for the night. Katie told Bill not to even think about it, but is it exactly what we ought to be thinking about for the winter?

Bill's got the babysitting blues"Bill having problems?"

"Yeah, he may be a little rusty!"

Bill might be a little rusty at fatherhood, but it's also fair to say that Katie is a bit hasty. When we last saw Will, he was about three inches shorter and chock full of attitude. He told Pam that her lemon bars were yuck times three, and he got snippy with Wyatt. While playing CEO with Wyatt at the Forrester conference table, Wyatt offered to take Bill's place on a pretend phone call Will made to Bill. "You're not my dad! You're my brother!" Will exclaimed.

That was enough for Katie and Wyatt to question every aspect of their relationship. Back then, Wyatt said that he never stayed the night when Will was home, and he never touched Katie inappropriately around Will. I would have to roll back that beautiful bean footage to verify these things, but I believe Wyatt did spend nights at Katie's. Maybe I'm remembering a time before the shooting. Maybe things changed for Bill, Will, Katie, and Wyatt after Bill got shot.

In June, Katie was complaining about Bill's absence in Will's life and was breaking off her relationship with Wyatt. It's now August. Will is taller but still full of attitude. Katie and Thorne have been dating, and I assume they were about to have sex for the first time if Will hadn't come back home.

Because a soap day can last up to ten episodes on B&B, I do not know if a real two months has actually gone by since Katie and Wyatt's breakup. For example, Steffy wore that diaper genie hairdo and pinstriped business romper for at least eight episodes. Details like those make it hard to know how long certain situations have really been going on.

Even so, I think that Katie is being too hasty to think that Will and Bill lost their bond. She was also too hasty in thinking Will was rejecting Wyatt just off of one play phone call. If we consider how much time has really gone by, maybe Katie should cut Bill some slack because it hasn't been that long since he'd been shot and hospitalized. Maybe that has something to do with Bill seeing the child less. I know; I know. Bill had time to shop for the softest, pinkest blanket, so he should have had time for Will.

Bill is responsible for not being there for Will, but Katie should take some blame for the boy's rotten attitude. As a kid his age, I would not have been able to say anything I felt like to an adult, and I would get my butt tapped for talking back to my parents. When Will talked back to Bill, I would have loved to see Bill tell that little boy to watch his mouth. When Will whined about going home to see his mama, Bill should have asked where Will's gas money was. Little brat.

I suspect Will might be having a problem because Wyatt suddenly isn't around as much. Will could have been missing his father, but spending time with his brother was better than nothing. And you never know with kids. Sometimes, being a brat is how they express their fondness for someone else. But Katie cut Wyatt and Will off, and Will is back to being with his nanny twelve or more hours a day while Katie works. Who wants to spend summer break like that instead of with his cool, surfing older brother?

Just when Will gets settled into Katie's new single, working mother routine, here comes the soft-uttering, buzzcut Thorne, standing around, creepily glaring at Will as if he's a cock-blocker. Will just got his mother back to himself. If he didn't realize it when Wyatt was around, Will is now old enough to know what it means when a man is hanging around his mama and he gets shuffled off somewhere for the night.

Will needs to warn his niece, Kelly. This is exactly the kind of mess she's going to have to deal with when Steffy starts dating.

Of course, all of this is my opinion. As the writers see it, Will resents Bill for disappearing from Will's life for some unknown amount of time. Instead of it being Katie's fault for trying to force Will to stay that night with Bill while she got some overdue poom-poom, the writers stuck Bill with the blame for being unable to concentrate on his son because of his obsession with Steffy.

It doesn't matter how the family got in the position. It's how they will move forward. Bill and Thorne staked out their territories, and Thorne asserted that Bill might need to just stay gone because Will deserved better than what Bill is capable of. Bill blew out the candles on Thorne's romantic night with Katie and warned that he'd always be there for his ex-wife and son.

Katie gave Bill a tearful, desperate pep talk about not becoming like his father, but I personally thought it was over the top. Maybe women with children can chime in here, but I don't see this as a horrible situation. For one, it just started. Two, this seems to be the first time they even addressed it, and if that's true, it's pretty slimy of Katie to push for the father and son relationship only when she has a chance of hitting the sheets. Why wasn't she on top of it sooner?

Bill was right in his opinion that the whole thing had been too soon, and in my opinion, after discussing Bill's state of mind with him, Katie should have had her doubts about letting Will stay the night with him. On the other hand, Bill should have kept the child at the house instead of giving in to what the child wanted. Bill and Will are not in a voluntary friendship, and Will does not get to decide what house he sleeps in until he is a grown man.

Will and Bill are not in a friendship for Will's entertainment, either. It isn't Bill's job to keep the boy occupied every second, and if Will is engrossed in the video game, Bill should let him be. I don't see why Bill couldn't have let the boy play the game until the boy got bored. Because it was the first night in a long time, Bill should have kept it low-key and let Will do what he felt like doing within reason, and then they could have gone to bed. I think Will might have stayed cool if Bill had just done that.

Tell me what you think. As I said, I don't have kids, so you parents out there might think differently. I predict that this issue might bring Bill and Katie closer. Bill might feel the need to compete with Thorne for the family that Bill will start to miss now that he is single with no prospects. Bill barely has a relationship with Wyatt, and Liam won't speak to him, so it's the perfect time in Bill's life for Bill to turn his attention back to the one woman who has always stayed with him, no matter what: Katie.

Lope wedding: Take Seven"It feels like dj vu."

No, duh, Liam. You and Hope have been in this place before -- at least six other times!

I said in another scoops that I didn't want to see another Steam wedding this summer. That did not mean I wanted to see two Lope weddings in a row, but here we go. Coming soon, Brooke will throw the seventh wedding for Liam, and Hope. Seven is a lucky number, but why don't I feel that it will be lucky for Lope?

Maybe it's because psycho grams is on the loose, doing what she does best -- scrapping with Brooke over a man. This time, it's their daughters' man, who, it pains me to say, is worse than Ridge about ping-ponging between women.

Liam has done it so much that Wyatt was like, "No, seriously, Bro. Just get two houses and live with each family a few weeks at a time. Try that first while I get my tux bod back, dude. We were almost busting out of those tuxes last time, and I'm not buying another for a wedding that might not even happen...I'm not!"

Those tuxedos on Liam and Wyatt were nice and tight, weren't they? For me, it was the best part of wedding number six.

Taylor and Ridge are hitting Brooke from both sides in defense of their daughter, but having spent her life battling Stephanie and Taylor, Brooke is used to being double-teamed. I don't know how Ridge and Brooke stay together with such a serious rift between their daughters. Ridge says Brooke is so good at loving him, and she says it was because she's done it for years. He believed that falling in love with her was the greatest thing he'd ever done.

Hey, writers, that was really sweet. So was Ridge modeling his silk boxers for his woman. But if Ridge is so happy with Brooke, why in the world has Taylor not let it go yet? While watching Taylor rant about it, I was very glad Steffy chose a different path.

Taylor claims to be beyond it, but who can believe her when she's still whining about stuff that happened when Steffy was a toddler -- and still getting the facts wrong. Taylor said something about Brooke having an affair with Deacon after Brooke had stolen Taylor's husband.

Once Taylor and Ridge got married, Brooke never stole Ridge from Taylor. The only time Ridge ever left his marriage to Taylor was after he and Taylor had the sham wedding at Stephanie's bedside. Otherwise, death literally was the only thing to break up a Tridge marriage. Taylor just happened to die twice.

Hope claims she invited Steffy to the wedding as a show of solidarity, but I think she did it because she wants to keep Steffy right where she can see her. Maybe Hope thinks Steffy is a lucky charm because the only wedding Hope ever completed with Liam was the one Hope invited Steffy to in Italy. If Taylor thinks this invitation was disrespectful, she should be thankful that Hope didn't ask Steffy to be a bridesmaid again this time.

Will Hope and Liam make it through the ceremony this time? Steffy and Hope want Steffy at the wedding so they can start out being good mamas to their children. Hope and Steffy's mamas, however, think it's the worst thing in the world for Steffy and Taylor to attend. Brooke argued that Taylor doesn't have any home training, and Taylor was upset that Hope wanted to humiliate Steffy that way by making her watch Liam marry Hope.

Brooke uninvited the mama-daughter duo, and Taylor doubled down on the invitation, seemingly out of anger that Brooke would dare rescind it. Brooke suspected that Taylor would subject Steffy to the pain of the wedding in hopes that Liam would feel too guilty to go through with it. Great, Brooke. Put ideas in the cuckoo bird brain, why don't you.

Can Liam say vows to Hope with Steffy staring him in the face?

According to the preview videos, Taylor goes to the cabin to try to talk Liam out of the wedding. Bridget and Donna partake in Hope's day. Steffy stands to speak during the ceremony, and Taylor and Brooke combust.

When you finally see the wedding, you might think it's dj vu. Don't adjust your sets. You will really be seeing the same tuxedo and wedding gown as the last time. When an environmentalist couple attempts to say "I do" as many times as Hope and Liam, there's nothing wrong with a little recycling. Look forward to Taylor cutting the cake -- with her claws. A Logan wedding wouldn't be a wedding without a cake fight.

Until we scoop again, I'll leave you with a toast to the bride and groom. Even though the marriage is bound to be temporary, here's to hoping Hope and Liam lasts until January. When the Lope star crashes and burns, the fallout is bound to be bold and beautiful, baby!

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