My mom can beat up your mom and other Leffy/Lope litanies

Everyone had opinions about Liam's love life, including former mudslingers Brooke and Taylor. But Wyatt's super hearing got him stuck between truth and tread! Shift into drive with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did that angel on your shoulder suddenly get very heavy? Did you find yourself fighting an old fight? Did your insurance premium go up for keeping a premium secret? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Avant clan this week!

Who'd've thunk it, Scoopers? Y'all must still be hella invested in Steffy/Liam/Hope, because I'm pretty sure my last column was the most shared in eight-and-a-half years of my rantings. I'm not nearly as invested, but...gotta report the news. To me, it still felt like 2012, the way the three unlucky lovebirds were the only topic of conversation all week. But then the passcode on Wyatt's phone changed to 4-1-1! Let's Scoop about it!

DISTANT PLANETS REVOLVING AROUND A SINGLE STAR

It's not unusual for any soap to keep a triangle going for years, even decades. Hope/Bo/Billie on DAYS comes to mind, as does Luke/Laura/Scotty on GH. Those are classics. But the thing I've never been able to stand about Leffy/Lope is that when their push-pull goes into high gear, everyone on the show stops what they're doing to dish about them. New characters, legacy characters -- they're all about it.

Case in point: Thorne, whose failed insta-devotion to Brooke and Katie has devolved into wondering how his brother feels about Liam switching from Soda Steffy to Soda Hope. Rick and Maya, already storyless without Nicole and her uterus, have slipped into that subject full-time. And this new intern Emma...I'm sure she's lovely, but if all she's there to do is ship Leffy/Lope, as well, she can go back to wherever interns come from.

Yeah, I feel bad when back-burnered characters are only given screen time to discuss other characters' love lives; that it's Leffy/Lope just makes it more kinds of wrong. With Maya transgender, she and Rick should be social justice avengers. Emma seems poised for a teen summer romance (perhaps with this new Avant boy about to arrive?). And Thorne...you mean to tell me this stud has nothing better to do with his time?

Their minds controlled by Leffy/Lope, this group oohed and aahed over Hope's engagement ring. "Liam gave me this the first time we were engaged," Hope beamed. What, did Steffy give it back to her? Hope's first engagement ring from Liam ended up on Steffy's finger in 2011 while it still had Hope's body heat on it. They could have saved it by saying the ring was from a subsequent engagement, but no.

I know we all have attention spans shorter than a YouTube trailer these days, but I really don't see why our soap can't tell more than one story at once anymore. It's been like this for a long time, only it's especially pronounced when it has to do with Leffy/Lope. Maybe it's because I've never really cared who Liam ended up marrying. I just think multiple-story days would make this triangle fresher and not so relentless.

LA LOGAN VS. PRINCESS LEILA

With Taylor Hayes back among us (why do we still refer to Taylor using the last name of a long-ago husband who mistreated her instead of calling her by her maiden name, Hamilton?), the expectation is she'll share scenes with certain characters. Naturally, Steffy got a visit, but poor Thomas and Ridge have had to go without seeing their mother and ex-wife, respectively. Which is why it's lit that Brooke found Doc at her door.

These ladies have sparred since 1990, when they first started tangling over Ridge. And, though they've both made fools of themselves over him more times than I can count, they're also both strong women in their own right. What I didn't want was to see them scrap over which one of their daughters belongs with Liam...again. That's about all they did in 2011 and 2012. Do they have to in 2018?

Taylor was furious when Steffy told her that Liam had filed their annulment papers and proposed to Hope, but the shrink's outrage held less water to me, since Taylor's gotten increasingly loopy over the years. By the way, why the annulment? Liam and Steffy consummated their year-long marriage with an unborn child as proof, and in 2012, Steffy held out for a divorce. Funny that she didn't bother this time.

So, Taylor made a beeline for Brooke's place (what happened to the Song Sung Blue doorbell? Is nothing sacred?) and wondered why her former nemesis was all het up about getting Liam and Hope to the altar so quickly. Taylor felt Brooke was afraid Liam would change his mind if she didn't rush their wedding. Katie's right about Brooke: "mention 'wedding' and she's all in."

There were some other truth bombs in the scene that were dropped in the name of continuity, which pleased me very much. "Is this really how you want Hope to marry Liam -- on the rebound?" Hayes asked Logan. Brooke isn't wrong that Liam developed feelings for Hope again over time, but it truly isn't healthy for them to marry each other until they know Liam is free from Steffy emotionally.

Brooke scoffed at the idea of Taylor casting Hope as the homewrecker, calling Steffy sleeping with her father-in-law "disgusting." I know, Scoopers! Brooke has so many stones to cast on that sexual score that she won't get to the last one in her lifetime. And Taylor knew it: "I wouldn't get too sanctimonious, if I were you...I'm just sayin'." Brooke didn't like that but at least acknowledged her less-than-pristine past!

When Taylor asked why the rushed wedding, Brooke reminded her, "That's a question we could have asked earlier -- when Steffy trapped Hope in the gondola and forced her to watch" Steffy marry Liam in Aspen! As I always say, any show is better for not only recognizing its history but building moments out of it. Taylor thought nothing Steffy could do to interfere with Liam and Hope would matter if the betrothed were really that solid.

Taylor's right, but the way she stomped out of Casa Brooke made me wonder. Liam would reunite with Steffy, "and there's nothing or no one that's going to stop that!" Hell, Taylor already put a bullet in Bill because he got in the way of Steffy's happiness -- is Taylor going to come back and shoot Hope and Brooke so Steffy can have Liam? Never thought I'd say it, but I wouldn't put it past Taylor now. Would you?

BABY, YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR

Justin had also caught Leffy/Lope fever, somehow not able to stop ranting about how wrong it was that Bill had used him to stage a scene that tricked Wyatt into torpedoing Liam's reconciliation with Hope. "You've gone too far this time," he growled. Justin's decrying a few lipstick-smeared pillows but was all too happy to make sure Spectra burned down? Okay. Just so I understand.

Still on the rationalization that, since he'd kept Liam and Hope apart, it was his job to "right a wrong" and bring them back together, Bill pooh-poohed Justin's jabbering to the point Justin got loud denouncing his part in it...which Wyatt overheard! Hey, Wyatt didn't even have to butt-dial Justin like Marcus did when he found out Justin helped Bill break Deacon out of jail to stop Lope's Italian wedding. Way to eliminate the middleman!

Well, Wyatt went off! Darin Brooks' intensity was awesome as Wyatt's voice cracked, asking his father if he knew how it made him feel to have been the final nail in Steam's marriage coffin. Bill -- somehow even more diabolical since his shooting, if that's possible -- took it all in stride, insisting that Liam had moved onto the Logan property (and near Hope) before any synthetic seduction shenanigans had taken place.

Bill's logic is usually nothing less than twisted. How does he think Steffy will want to ride the Stallion once she finds out Bill was up to his old tricks trying to make Still happen? Wyatt was on my wavelength, assuring his "sick" pop that Steffy wasn't gonna have none of that once Wyatt told her the truth. Suddenly, Bill grabbed Wyatt's arm so hard Wyatt probably bruised! Wyatt had signed up to be a Spencer, Bill snarled. Be one!

And if Wyatt squealed, Bill promised Wyatt would lose everything! Dang, Dollah, disinheriting again? Why don't you just lock Wyatt in a tower like you did when you were trying to keep Katie from ratting you out to Liam? Wyatt doesn't even have a heart condition like Katie did; he would fare so much better. Disownment seems to be the only trick in Bill's bag anymore.

Wyatt showed he has a little bit of Quinn in him, after all, because he would not be deterred. "If Liam decides he wants to be with Hope once he knows the truth, fine!" Wyatt proclaimed. That may be the most sensible thing anyone said all week. Bill tried to convince Wyatt that he and Liam had simply ended up with the wrong women from the beginning. When Wyatt didn't bite, Bill went on to lay it on thick.

Yep, Wyatt was Bill's favorite son, and as such, he'd get the keys to the kingdom, probably sooner than later. Seems to me Wyatt was already promised that when he "agreed" to dis-engage Katie. Shoulda got that in writing, Wy-wy. Wyatt suspected the cold front in L.A. was from Bill's snow job, and he got all the way down to the parking lot at CBS Television City -- I mean Spencer Publications -- before Dad's Ferrari stopped him.

Apparently, Bill had acquired this classic car, and Wyatt had fallen in love with it. Maybe there would have been more stakes attached to the wheel had we seen these guys with this ride a few times before. Plus, since when is Wyatt a material boy? This is the dude who wanted to drive Hope around in a retro trailer and camp out on the beach. I have a hard time buying he got spoiled by the spoils in just a few years.

I admit it was a nice touch that Bill was huffing and puffing having chased after Wyatt, noting that his lungs hadn't completely healed yet post-shooting. But Wyatt seemed blinded by the sun reflecting off the Ferarri keys, because he accepted them and drove off like something out of a Smokey and the Bandit movie. If I were Wyatt, I'd probably have taken the car and gone straight to Liam! Not for him; to him.

Strangely, Bill didn't know where Wyatt had gone. Wouldn't Bill's strong-arm tactics have included getting confirmation from Wyatt that he was on board before letting him hit the gas? Imagine if, in the Garden of Eden, the snake had simply slithered away and let Eve decide whether she was going to eat the apple. It's interesting that now Bill is using his dark magic to reunite Lope instead of splitting them, but it's still so much rehash.

MARRY ME A LITTLE

Ridge didn't pitch nearly the fit I thought he would with Brooke over news of Liam and Hope's impending nuptials, but he wasn't shaking pom-poms about it, either. Thankfully, Bridge seemed to agree to disagree rather than let the love lives of their daughters come between them; that's already a step ahead of 2012. Ridge was convinced that Bill had faked Liam out somehow. How Ridge knew that, I don't know, but for once, he wasn't wrong.

The former Waffle King tried to impart that to his successor, Liam, who couldn't smell the pancakes for the syrup. Ridge really needs to let this go. For that matter, I know Steffy has a child on the way, but she really needs to let this go, too. Why fight for a man who has done the wife switcheroo more than once? Lope's engagement is rather the Miu Miu on the other foot; perhaps Steffy should consider it karma for Aspen.

No matter how many times Ridge told Liam that Bill had probably tricked him, Liam somehow wasn't accepting it. Why? Liam knows his dad is the dean of dirty deeds. Ridge swore Steffy wasn't with Bill again. Steffy swore it a million times. Yet Liam believes Wyatt? Granted, Wyatt thought it was true, but it's odd that Liam isn't smelling a rat in skinny jeans. Ridge figured Liam's deaf ear came from not wanting to get hurt.

Meanwhile, Bill went back to Steffy to make his umpteenth "we should be together" pitch. I can't tell if Steffy is sincerely in denial about any feelings for Bill -- something must be there for her to have done the deed with him six months ago -- or if she's really grossed out by him, but in this age of #MeToo, Bill did not heed Steffy's repeated demands for him to leave and even tried to kiss her.

Moved on her like a bitch, did you? Bill pivoted and again said he and Steffy should have gotten together way back when -- never once realizing Will would not be around had they done that. Of course, Will is never around, anyway, so maybe there's no difference. Steffy got points from me when she took some of her sass out of mothballs and finally asked Bill if he'd had anything to do with Liam's change of heart!

Bill evaded so much, I could have sworn he had smoky eyes (look it up), and Steffy was not even close to being about it. The Dollah managed to get Steffy to admit she knew what she had in him, but, seeing that his sweet talk wasn't working, Bill said he wanted to protect Steffy and the baby, "not to mention your mother." That's right, Scoopers! Bill used Taylor as a blackmail threat to maneuver Steffy into his bed!

So, Bill is essentially implying he'll turn Taylor in if Steffy doesn't get with him. To think most men just bring roses and candy! I was kind of ready to jump on the Still train when it started back up, but now this once sizzling, forbidden couple is ruined. Why couldn't Bill just lay on the charm instead of trying to take Steffy by force? Whip off your shirt, Bill, slather yourself in baby oil; something. Steffy's never going to want you again after this.

You know, if Bill really wanted Steffy, all he had to do was mess with the paternity test she had when she wasn't sure her child was his or Liam's instead of this full-of-holes Steffy-and-I-are-still-together charade. I still think that door is open; we all saw Bill slinking around the hospital the day Steffy got the test done. It could be Bill legitimately is the father and fixed it to read that Liam was. I just have a feeling...

GOT MY MIND ON THE MONEY AND THE MONEY ON MY MIND

For some reason, Wyatt needed to go to Katie to figure out the right thing to do. Look, the former diamond "stealer" has a sneaky streak in him, but he's generally a good guy; I can't believe he actually has to decide between telling Liam the truth and accepting Bill's bribes. Wyatt talked in riddles so much, Katie thought he'd become Batman's classic adversary. Just spit it out already, Wyatt!

When Katie finally learned that Bill had officially sunk Steam's marriage by using Wyatt as a patsy, she had a bit of an un-Katie reaction. She assured Wyatt that Liam and Steffy were over long before Bill's smoke and mirrors and that, ultimately, Liam was better off without her. "What happens if he goes back to Steffy...[and] wakes up every morning and wonders if she's thinking about Bill?"

Indeed, that's exactly where Liam's head is, as evidenced by the fact that he can't even consider Bill and Steffy together without wanting to hork up. Hope should consider that a danger sign, but you know, Hope's Perfect Wedding and all that. I felt like Heather Tom was channeling Katie's one-time rivalry with Steffy and not just Bill ending up with Brooke: "It makes you question your self-worth...your sanity!"

Great reference to Katie finding solutions to Brill in a bottle! "Take it from me," she went on, "raising a child in a toxic home is far worse than not having mommy and daddy live under the same roof." Sing, my sister, sing! Let your voice be heard. Will likely didn't escape unscathed from spending his formative years in Bill's hormonal circus tent. But then Katie blew it...by adding that Wyatt should claim his place and take what's his!

Whaaaaaat? Okay, real talk: I once had a violent alcoholic stepfather, and at one point, when he offered me things like VCRs, I'd take them because I figured he owed me. Maybe that's what Katie's suggesting here. But it comes off as money-grubbing and is the complete antithesis to what she'd just said about what would be better for Liam and his unborn daughter. She sounded more like Quinn than Katie!

Katie did make one undeniable case, though. She questioned why Wyatt and Liam were so quick to believe that Steffy was, in fact, still carrying on with Bill, even when she wasn't. "Maybe it's because [Liam] realizes something I had to learn the hard way...someone who cheats once will cheat again." In that case, it would be interesting to see who would cheat on who first -- Steffy or Bill!

Finally taking a hint from Ridge to "find the facts", Liam called Wyatt and asked to meet his bro in the Spencer parking lot, joking about Wyatt being a spy. Did I catch a hint of Liam thinking Wyatt had deceived him? I did like that Liam tried to get all stealthy when he saw the Ferrari driving up, thinking it was Bill. Wasn't Liam surprised when he found out Wyatt ended up with their papa's ride? Even if it still had to be registered to Bill.

Liam didn't know what to think anymore with Ridge and Steffy contradicting what Wyatt had said he'd seen. "She keeps insisting we're wrong. I want to be sure," Liam admitted. "You're positive they're still involved?" Fresh from Katie's advice to "use [Bill] to be better than he is" (huh?), you could hear the wheels turning in Wyatt's head. They need WD-40. Would he tell Liam the truth or let money win out over morals?

Psych! We won't find out until next week. Should Wyatt come clean or let Liam marry Hope without all the info? Has Bill blown his chances with Steffy? And should B&B feature more than one story at a time, or are you good? Come clean yourself in the Comments section below or on the soapcentral.com message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Steffy is better off raising the baby on her own. Liam is such a soy boy, he switches back and forth between Steffy and Hope more often than he changes his all organic sustainably sourced underwear. As for sanctimonious hypocrite Hope, she needs a visit from her felon father, Deacon. Has Hope even mentioned her father? Perhaps visited him in jail? Asked about her half-brother Deacon Junior? Nope? Why not?" -- Marie

"Who cares if Liam is with Hope or Steffy? These people are so shallow that they just marry whoever is standing in front of them. Why should we invest in either couple when there's no buildup or romance or commitment between the characters?" -- "DaffySez"

"I never thought I would feel sorry for Steffy, but this time I do. I hope she grows up and realizes that she deserves better...listening to Brooke go off on Steffy was outrageous. Brooke judging Steffy's affair with Bill is laughable as she's defending the daughter she had with her son-in-law!" -- Danielle

"After proposing, Liam called Hope 'Hope Spencer.' After everything that went on with Bill, he still wants to use the Spencer name?...I loved the storyline they did on GH with Michael Quartermaine/Corinthos against Sonny a few years ago; it would be nice to see Liam finally decide to go after Bill for everything he's done." -- FC

That would be fun, FC! Had a taste of it last year when Liam blackmailed Bill out of his CEO seat, but Bill really needs his comeuppance, and it would be great to see it happen at Liam's hand. The shooting should have been comeuppance enough; only Bill could see to it that it wasn't enough!

Well, while part of me worries we are going to be back on the Leffy/Lope marry-go-round another year or two, there may be an end in sight with Sally and the Spectras coming back and this new nephew of Julius' on the way. And Donna's paying a visit for Lope's wedding; can we give this girl a role besides wedding guest? I mean, how hot would nuThorne and Donna be? I'm just sayin'. Let him have one Logan girl!

See you guys again in two weeks! In the meantime, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful.

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