Eighth time's the charm

From horses to halted honeymoons, Brooke and Ridge have elevated weddings to an art form. But should this week's ceremony be their last? March down the aisle with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you decide if once is good, a hundred times is better? Did you suddenly feel you should go out and buy string? Did you discover a picture is literally worth a thousand words? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Spectra-Avant clan this week!

I do, Scoopers! Yep, Ridge and Brooke tied the knot in a finally-we-did-it-ceremony. Joy and bliss abounded, yet it's not like it was their first wedding. It wasn't even their tenth! Meanwhile, Steffy tried to leverage Bridge's reunion and inspire forgiveness in Liam, though maybe holding up Bridge as an example wasn't her smoothest move. And then there's Stephanie! Y'all ready? Let's Scoop about it!

DO AS I SAY, NOT AS THEY DO

If I were Liam, I'd be playing Michael Jackson's Scream on repeat. "Stop pressurin' me...stop pressurin' me...make me wanna scream!" Seriously, how many people have paraded through Liam's hotel room, badgering him to forgive Steffy for sleeping with Bill? Steffy appointed herself grand marshal, echoing everyone's "do it for the baby" chant. Liam needs to ask Sheila to visit from down the hall to protect him!

And Steffy needs to listen to what Liam is telling her. It's too soon for cheek-turning, much less showing up as Steffy's date at the Bridge wedding. Steffy-girl, citing Dad and Brooke as "an example" may not be the most effective mind-changer. It's true, I've always thought Bridge should be endgame (especially while Ronn Moss was still Ridge), but it seems that so far, Liam and Steffy have been following their example.

It would take the whole column to go over Bridge's ups and downs; just since Liam's been in town, Ridge divorced Brooke and was ready to marry Taylor the next day because it seemed Brooke had slept with stepson Thomas (while hopped up on psychedelic berries!). Then Ridge bailed out of Bridge's European honeymoon over Brooke texting Deacon regarding their daughter, Hope.

Ridge returned a year later, ready to reclaim Brooke but got with Katie instead, shifting to Caroline until she actually did sleep with Thomas (oops). Only in the last year or so did Ridge decide Brooke was "the one" after all, but he messed that up by swapping spit with Quinn. And all the while, Brooke was playing hot and cold with Bill, getting burned by the heat of the Spectra fire Bill arranged.

So it seems to me Bridge's footsteps are not the best ones to follow in. I wish Liam had thrown some of these deets in their faces while they pestered him to pardon Steffy. It's like Liam's feelings don't count. Yes, there's a baby, but how is the kid going to feel when he/she eventually finds out his/her parents only reunited for his/her sake? I'm all for Liam continuing to give Steffy the cold shoulder. It's much better story.

WHY YOU BUGGIN'?

Not content to let Liam come around on his own, Steffy followed up her wedding invitation with a text and a phone call. Maybe that works as a co-CEO of a company (when you actually work), but Steffy, honey, slow your damn roll! I'm also not about Steffy insisting she won't give up on her marriage. She got annulment papers from Liam! I think she just doesn't like conceding defeat; she stalled signing in 2012, too.

Over at Casa Logan, Hope danced around Brooke's direct question about any remaining feelings she might have for Liam. Of course, Hope's still got it bad, which is a shame, because it would have been refreshing for her to actually have grown beyond that. She's shown glimmers; I still have my fingers crossed she won't step into yet another Leffy/Lope triangle. Does anybody really want to see that again?

Hope got into Liam's hotel room with the magic knock (I do like the humor Annika Noelle is bringing to the role), offering friendship as if she hadn't already done that. She asked if Steffy was refusing to give Liam an annulment without referencing Aspen; Liam asked if Steffy had wanted Bill all along without referencing the Still near-affair that happened before him. Please, let's stop being vague and start mentioning specific examples!

Hope slipped into nagging Liam about being Steffy's date at Bridge's wedding before catching herself and telling him he should do whatever he felt was right. Hallelujah. Wyatt did a similar flip-flop, wearing his Team Steffy badge to Liam's temporary pad until he picked up the Cluephone. "I didn't think you should be alone," Wyatt aw-shucksed to his half-adversary half-bro. Awwwww! The feels!

CALL ME PINOCCHIO

He's got no strings to hold him down, but Wyatt didn't want to be alone, either, since his most recent convo with booty call Katie could only be classified as "awkwaaaaard!" Non-commitment aside, Wyatt hoped he and Katie could turn Bridge's wedding into their "coming out party." The only thing that came out was Katie pouring cold water on the idea, and Wyatt was more butt-hurt than if Katie had just spanked him.

Back in the Lack of Detail Department, Wyatt told Katie about running into Hope, only to again forget mentioning that he and Hope had lost a baby. Why are neither of the former marrieds touching on that not-minor event? Meanwhile, Brooke was shipping the possibility of Korne (that sounds better than Thratie), pushing Thorne on Katie as if Brooke didn't already know Katie was seeing Wyatt. Hey, I do continuity; call me.

Have to admit, it's kind of novel for a soap to have a no-strings couple -- especially this soap, who marries people off faster than you can say, "I do." So maybe Katie flirting with Thorne isn't uncalled for, but if I were Katie, I'd say, "Thanks but no thanks." Katie knows that just five seconds ago, Thorne proclaimed he'd come home for the express purpose of rehooking Brooke. Now Thorne's making goo-goo eyes at Katie. How French.

I did feel bad for Thorne as he described women backing off because he had a dead wife and dead daughter. (Imagine if they knew about his come-back-from-the-dead-twice ex-girlfriend Taylor!) But I had to laugh that Thorne had to tell Katie what an NSA was, and that Katie had to explain to Wyatt. They know about dating apps but not that NSA means "no-strings attached"? In this case, it doesn't mean the government agency.

EIGHT IS ENOUGH

Contrary to popular belief, this is only Ridge and Brooke's eighth wedding -- that went through. (Click their names to see their character profiles as proof.) Of course, there have been far more ceremonies that were interrupted or called off, over kissing one's "sister" or being accused of switching paternity tests or relatives fainting at the altar. Little stuff like that. But there have been no more than eight actual exchanges of vows.

Ridge, who amazingly has a maroon shirt in his closet of blacks, blues, purples, and grays (more color on Ridge, please!), half-joked with Brooke that after they married, all the drama would be behind them. "Is that what happens after you say your vows?" Brooke replied. Technically, yes. Most soap couples don't get a decent story after the I-do's unless it involves an interloper. Like marriage doesn't have enough conflict within!

I really, really hope this is the last wedding for Ridge and Brooke. It's hard enough to take this one seriously, given how fickle the show's couples are and how quickly they love 'em and leave 'em. Bridge's 2012 wedding was a chance to finally cement them as B&B's mainstay marrieds, but Ronn Moss's departure left a gap that Bill ended up filling on and off for five years. Let's do it right this time. No more Bridge breakups!

WHATCHOO TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS?

Either Pam baked some blunts in her blinis or Othello put some happy smoke in his smoke machine, because everyone was feelin' goooooood -- maybe too good. Steffy and Ivy hugged just feet away from the stairs Ivy rolled down while arguing with her electrocutioner. Quinn was awfully happy about Ridge getting married when, even during her last ring-making meeting with him, sparks were flying.

"I've always been a champion of Ridge and you," Eric told Brooke -- a blanket statement when you consider, even in recent years, Eric still held resentment toward Ridge for taking Brooke away from him. Then Katie gushed to Brooke, "Your heart inspires me." You mean the same heart that still loved Bill and had Katie taking 90-proof slugs out of broken glasses? I'm all for moving on and rising above, but let's not get carried away.

Brooke rightly recalled meeting Ridge in that very room (wish we could have at least seen a flashback of her in that 1987 moment), but she deemed Ridge love at first sight. Oh? Not long after they met, after the original Caroline dumped Ridge over a one-nighter, Brooke got Ridge all hot and bothered then split, giving him a case of blue balls to teach him a lesson! Ah, love at first sight.

Strangely, I find myself on board with Steffy and Hope's tentative friendship. It's weird, I know, but something about Annika's Hope makes me feel like the former-and-perhaps-future rivals genuinely care for each other. Hope may secretly want Liam back for herself, but it didn't show as Hope agreed to sit with the distraught Steffy. Yeah, I like most B&B folks better as friends than enemies. Of course, then you don't have a soap!

ALTAR-ED STATES

It was a lovely ceremony, if not a bit dragged out. And I about wished Katie would faint again when she trotted out her reading. No! Not 1 Corinthians! So overdone. My mind kind of skipped over the rest of the readings, though I did chuckle when Carter (poor Carter) said, "If anyone objects, you've had plenty of time to lodge your complaint." And dig the cutaway to Julius when Carter talked about changing fortunes. Burn!

Did any of you watch the interview with Katherine Kelly Lang and Thorsten Kaye this week? When asked what advice they had for Bridge, the actors concurred: stop sleeping with other people. KKL also hoped this wedding would be their last. It would be so fun to watch Ridge and Brooke, who have always relied on their looks, dealing with getting older. Ridge already shoots blanks; can Brooke handle the gun not working?

Donna (poor Donna) and Katie surprised Brooke with earrings that belonged to their mother, Beth. So, who had these trinkets all these years, and how come Brooke didn't know about them? I know, trivial, but that's how I roll. I did like Eric mentioning both Ridge and Brooke's departed mothers during the ceremony. Queen Stephanie got a lot of nods at these nuptials! But more about her in a bit.

RING AROUND THE RECEPTION

So...it happened! Bridge actually got married. No interruptions. No last-minute surprises. Not even Sheila crashing like she wanted to for Bridge's 1996 wedding that didn't happen! I figured Brooke would find out Quinn made her engagement ring and lock herself in the bathroom. But when Quinn said she crafted that and the wedding band, Brooke just sat there, blissed out! Oh, those blunted blinis.

Hope gushed that Ridge had been a father to her for her entire life...right next to Steffy, who used to rage about having to share Ridge with Hope! Guess Steffy was too bummed about Liam being a no-show to care. I do think Steffy has come around to Brooke finally. Brooke did help raise Steffy when Taylor was "dead"; we've come a long way from Steffy blackmailing Brooke over her mask-boink with Oliver.

Liam was smart not to go to the wedding. At least he got some hang time with Wyatt, who rather cavalierly revealed his romance with Katie, considering how secret it was supposed to be. Touching on Katie being their father's ex-wife, Wyatt proclaimed he wasn't going to let Bill tell him what he could and couldn't do. Ha! This when Wyatt earned a dictionary definition of "yes-man" from Bill all last year?

Anyway, Wyatt decided to head to Katie's to surprise her, and he eyed her telescope. Last time someone looked through it, shots were fired. Fittingly, this time, Wyatt got shot through the heart, and Katie's to blame because Thorne gave their NSA love a bad name (bad name). What is it about nuThorne going around spontaneously kissing women? Watch out, Wyatt! Katie may not end up the only one with a heart scar!

Maya happened upon Korne's buss, which I didn't understand. Is this karma for Katie spying on Maya and Zende? I did like Maya making a reference to how Julius behaved at her wedding to Rick. Then Carter stepped up on Maya, all lovelorn, wishing he could be a groom for once instead of an officiant, hint hint. Oh, Carter, give it up. This woman dissed you for not making enough bread four years ago.

As if an answer to a soapy prayer, the garter-twirling Donna caught Brooke's bouquet then quickly found herself catching boogie fever with Carter. Hmm, Carter wants to be a groom, and Donna catches the bouquet? Darter could work! And, hey, Donna's son, Marcus, is already Carter's adoptive brother, so they would even be able to honor the Forrester keep-it-in-the-family tradition. How 'bout it, Scoopers? Any of you down with Darter?

DIG IF YOU WILL THE PICTURE

I wish, I wish, I wish I hadn't heard about it just before it happened, because what a surprise it would have been. But let me backtrack. Brooke decided to nix Quinn's idea to put up a portrait of Brooke and Ridge (had it already been completed?) in favor of returning Stephanie's painting to its proper place. When Brooke reached in the closet for it, I half expected her to pull out Sheila's portrait by mistake! That would have been a howler!

So, everyone was "high upon this love," befitting the title of B&B's theme: dancing was happening, drinks were bubbling, and the I-never-go-to-school teen R.J. had his grade-school wet dream about his parents reuniting fulfilled. Brooke looked upon this scene with wonder. Suddenly, she heard what sounded like a familiar voice beckoning to her from behind. "Helloooooooo..."

Brooke blanched as she saw a heavenly glow emanating from La Forrester's likeness. And when the disembodied voice lovingly deemed Brooke "my sweet little slut from the Valley," the newly minted Mrs. Forrester knew she was in the presence of the original Mrs. Forrester! Wow! It's been over five years since Stephanie died, and the only indicator her spirit might be around was the occasional portrait poltergeisting its way off the wall.

Well, no more! I heard about this spectral appearance Thursday, and I felt Stephanie would only say two things. "Why don't I have a prettier portrait?" (really, the Gangsta Granny pose isn't her most becoming effigy) and "Brooke, don't f**k this up." After all, when Stephanie died in Brooke's arms, she told her longtime frenemy to clean up her act...and the first thing Brooke did was take up with her sister's husband.

I did get most of my wish! Ghost Stephanie told Brooke she did good and exhorted Brooke to keep herself on the straight and narrow -- "if that's possible." The Queen asked Brooke to be a good wife to her son and commanded "Don't let Eric take me off this mantel again!" You know, I wondered for years why we never got Ghost Stephanie. But now I see it was worth the wait. Way more meaningful five years later!

So, now that we have Stephanie's blessing, this has to be Bridge's last wedding. Please, B&B, make it so. We finally have a chance to stop the waffling and let Ridge and Brooke not only grow up, but actually grow into the example Steffy claimed they were. And now that Ghost Stephanie has emerged, maybe she can hang with Ghost John Abbott from Y&R, and they can kibitz about their delinquent dynasties!

What do you think, Scoopers? Was Liam right to skip the wedding? Does Thorne have no business sticking his tongue where it doesn't belong? And do you think Bridge will finally stick? Pull a Stephanie and impart your wisdom in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Brooke can't be upset with Steffy. Has everyone forgotten Brooke did the same thing to her own daughter Bridget? She had a baby with her daughter's husband, remember Deacon Sharpe? And that...is Hope Logan. Do you remember Brooke was married to Eric and sleeping with Ridge, married to Thorne sleeping with Ridge, married to Bill sleeping with Ridge. So sick of the Brooke merry-go-round. Get another story line, I've been watching B&B from the beginning." -- Ann

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Brooke didn't actually sleep with Thorne while married to Ridge, nor did Brooke sleep with Ridge while married to Bill -- unless you're talking about while her divorce from Bill was in process. But I do remember, and I'm feelin' ya!]

"Like him or hate him, give Liam some air. He walked out on his marriage what, 24 to 72 hours ago soap time. He needs space to actually consider things before returning or actually leaving Steffy." -- Sharon M.

"The Bridge wedding couldn't have been any more beautiful. Mad chemistry between KKL and TK, some heartwarming family moments and the return of Stephanie's voice as icing on the cake. Can't wait to see Bridge finally become the solid power couple they were always meant to be." -- Alexandra

"Very elegant wedding -- feeling the commitment this time -- but crossing fingers anyway." -- Sharon S.

I'm here for that! That's all I've got for ya, so happy Valentine's Day (can someone 3D-print me a non-hetero clone of Thorsten Kaye? Pleeeeeease?) and let's see if Bridge has what it takes this time. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful!

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