A total eclipse of the conscience

James is a druggie, Eric hides crimes, Bill orders Liam to crush Sally, and mansion insurance doesn't cover brawling bitches this week on B&B!

On Monday, August 21, the world looks forward to a total eclipse of the sun, but Los Angeles got started early with a total eclipse of the conscience for some of our beloved faves. Eric crossed to the dark side by hiding yet another crime of the summer. Luckily for the unconscionable Sheila, James Warwick happened to be fighting his way out of an opioid addiction just in time to get blackmailed over to her dark side.

Our deplorables, Bill and Steffy, eclipsed Liam's good conscience about the Caroline deception, but they might get blinded by the light of Liam's truthful expos on Spectra. Turn around, bright eyes, and let's scoop on who's gonna fall apart when the truth comes out on The Bold and the Beautiful.

Does Sheila Carter have to choke a bitch?

I'm not sure if Sheila has a safe word to calm her down, but she's definitely got one to set her off. Quinn figured out that word the hard way. Call Sheila evil. Call Sheila deranged. Call Sheila a criminal, but you sure as hell had better not call Sheila a bitch.

The Ming vases crashed, and the confetti crystal rained down during the clash of the bitches brawl between Quinn and Sheila.When they were finished, the mansion living room looked like a national disaster zone. Eric had little choice but to avoid the police, convince Dr. Andrews to secretly treat a patient, and take in a tenant even more detrimental to his marriage than Ridge ever was.

It all started with a little misunderstanding between Eric and Sheila about where she should drop off the watch he'd left at the hotel, but it ended in a clear understanding between Sheila and Quinn that there was only room for one of them on the mansion wall and in Eric's life. Quinn ordered Sheila to leave the house and called her a bitch. Sheila's jaw clicked, and she asked what Quinn had just called her.

"I called you a 'bitch,' bitch!" Quinn replied.

Oh, snap. Sheila went straight Wayne Brady on Quinn, knocked her down, and went right for the throat. They rolled, climbed, and fell over every piece of furniture in that living room. If it was a Batman episode, the "boom," "pow," and "bam" clouds would have been all over that place.

No, no, ladies. Nationwide isn't on your side for this one. Let's just tally up the damage. Ming vase, ten thousand dollars. Fine crystal, one thousand dollars. Ikea lamp, seventy dollars. Decades-old foyer table, two dollars. Quinn whipping Sheila's ass -- priceless.

Sheila choked Quinn out, but Quinn got in the last lick, taking all the fame -- and all the blame -- when Eric found Sheila passed out in blood and glass in the foyer. Eric's conscience wouldn't let him send the beat-up concussed Sheila away to recover alone -- or to call the police -- but his common sense wouldn't let him take Sheila's word for how bad off she was, either.

Eric called in James Warwick, the psychiatrist who dabbles in "neuro," to give his barely licensed opinion of Sheila's condition. Just when we thought James would send Sheila packing, we learned that neuro ain't the only thing James dabbles in.

James not only makes unprofessional house calls, but according to his daughter, Mary, he likes to self-medicate, too. And we're not talking a little medical marijuana for the joints. James is into prescription fraud and pain killers. Sheila threatened to tell the medical board all about it if he didn't dig himself in deeper with a fake diagnosis on her behalf.

Besides noting how ironic it is that Sheila once tried to protect James from losing his license due to marrying her, his patient, I want to know why in the heck Mary, a.k.a. Erica, decided to have anything to do with Sheila after she'd killed to help Mary hook up with Rick. Yes, I'm counting the Candyman roleplay of unleashing the bees as murder.

Maybe I shouldn't press it about history and just be happy Brooke finally remembered that Sheila shot Brooke (no mention of Taylor, though) at the climax of that very same storyline. I'm starting to think the whole Genoa City face-off thing with Sheila was all in Lauren's head, but I wonder if Sheila taking Ridge, Nick, and Brooke hostage in South America and presenting a baby to Massimo was all in Massimo's head.

The last time we saw Mary, she was disavowing Sheila at the jail after the mansion shootings. I'm gonna refrain from speculating about why Mary came around, but I do want to know why she was telling Sheila her father's business. And if she was telling Sheila's about James, why wasn't she telling James about Sheila? James doesn't live in the city anymore, but where is Mary? Does Mary know Sheila is free, or is Mary in a prison, staring quizzically at an empty cell, wondering how they let her psycho mother escape the zoo?

James went along with Sheila's charade to keep the secret that he'd been writing himself prescriptions, but I can't figure out why he even agreed to get involved at all. He should have just told Eric that he had the wrong number. If Eric recognized James's seductive accent, James should have replied, "No hablo espan-Sheila." If James is really off the drugs, as he claims, he should have had sense enough to offer to evaluate Eric for being foolish enough to even tangle with Sheila to begin with.

On the bright side, it sounded like James left to get his things, but he'll return to the mansion. I assume that means he's moving in until Sheila "recovers." Maybe he can be Quinn's aly. She doesn't have anyone else. Ridge is banned from everything Forrester. Charlie is completely wrapped around Sheila's broomstick, and Eric is too busy covering up crimes to pay his wife any attention.

Did you notice that Eric barely even checked Quinn out to see if she was hurt? He was so busy screaming that Quinn killed Sheila. Oh, Eric, calm down. You can't kill Sheila. Not without a stake, some silver-exploding grenades, and a bonfire exorcism in a volcano.

And Eric didn't even bother to get the real story about what had gone on there. His logic is that the one left standing is the guilty party. He asserted that Sheila has head trauma due to Quinn. No, Sheila has head trauma due to Sheila. Quinn would have been dead if she hadn't pretended to get choked out, but Eric apparently doesn't know anything about the poker choking.

And why does Quinn have to put up with the murderous Sheila Carter? Just so Eric can keep having female friends. I'm so done with Eric and his bat-crap crazy female friends. "She was nice to me. She took care of me," Eric explained. As if Quinn is supposed to be grateful that Sheila bogarted Quinn's husband during a marital crisis.

Sheila is even worse than Katie because Sheila blatantly wants Eric. He knows it, but his ego for women is twice the size of Ridge's. Eric should have told Sheila to leave the watch at the hotel's front desk instead of letting her do him another favor.

And when is Eric going to tell his wife that he kissed Sheila? I'm sorry, Eric, you do not get a free kiss after leaving your house for a month, letting Sheila cater to you, run errands for you, and beat on your wife. Eric took Quinn back, and now he needs to give her the honesty he demands from her.

Instead, Quinn has to put up with Sheila in Quinn's house, claiming that she was Mrs. Forrester long before Quinn was. Horse and buggies were transportation long before cars, so I really don't see Sheila's point. We'll see if Sheila gives any different to Brooke, a wife from the pre-Sheila era.

Quinn should have called Baker about the attack and taken her chances. It's her house, and Sheila had been the intruder and the aggressor. But Eric can't have that for fear that his gun-slinging granddaughter might be exposed. Surely that's the reason we won't see Steffy over there, all up in Sheila's grill about Eric the way Steffy had been in Quinn's face the year prior.

So instead of moving hell and earth to get her mother's shooter out of her grandfather's life, Steffy is moving hell and earth to keep Sally out of Thomas' life. Steffy's biggest barrier? Her husband's conscience about the wrongs committed by those not named Steffy Spencer.

Does Bill Spencer need to snatch a knot in Liam's bleeding heart?

A few weeks ago, Twitter was all a-tweet about what a southern senator meant when, in an interview, he said that someone needed to snatch a knot in the "senate's ass" over their health care vote. Thousands were perplexed by the meaning. Some said it was a southern thing, and some southerners swore they'd never heard such thing in their lives.

I'm here to tell you -- not only is it said in the south, but my mom threatened to snatch a knot in me to get me in line and doing what I needed to do so many times, I'd be a pretzel right now if she'd really made good on it. Bill has had enough of Liam and is about to snatch a knot all up in that bleeding heart of his if Liam can't do what Bill needs him to do for the skyscraper.

It's glaringly clear that Bill loves "Sky" more than anything. Probably even Liam and Wyatt. Will, maybe, and Caroline, definitely. Bill even confessed to Brooke that he's cheating on her with "Sky," the other "woman" in his life. If Brooke's going to compete, she'd better take the cash off her money nighty and buy herself a skyscraper teddy.

Just like over the paternity lie about Douglas, Caroline is burning guilt calories over lying to Thomas again. She is so guilty about it that she flew all the way to California to tell Bill she wouldn't go along with it. It's twelve hours round trip to whine to Bill instead of a five-second walk into the next room to be honest with Thomas herself. Must be nice to be rich and ditzy.

Bill stamped the light out of Caroline's conscience and ordered her to shut up and ride off into the sunset with Thomas and Douglas so that his precious building can permanently eclipse the sky over Spectra's address. The next obstacle was C.J., and Bill gave him five million tax-free reasons to sell the building out from under Spectra.

Selling out Spectra was a no-brainer for C.J., but Sally countered that receiving monthly rent checks for the rest of his life was even more of a no-brainer. Everyone but Saul seems to think Spectra is doomed without Thomas, but Sally dug deep to convince C.J. to give her and Spectra one more line and one more show.

C.J. returned to Bill with an unsigned agreement. C.J. attempted a family pride strut, but in the middle of it, Bill ordered C.J. out of his sight. Bill ordered Liam to write an article dooming the low-rent "ginger," but Liam -- who'd told his wife he'd turned out fine without having his father while growing up -- refused to compromise his integrity any more than he already had for Bill.

See, this is when Bill having some blackmail information about Steffy shooting Sheila might come in handy. Steffy warned him not to push Liam. It was all Steffy could do to keep Liam from blabbing about Caroline's nonexistent illness, but she warned that no one would be able to contain the goody-goody in her husband if Bill kept forcing Liam's hand.

Bill ain't playing with Liam anymore. In no uncertain terms, Bill said that if Liam said anything to Thomas and Sally about Caroline not dying, Bill was kicking Liam out of Bill's life. Liam, on the other hand, was "Sky" flicking mad, and he thumped "Sky" with his fingers as he complained about how unfair Bill was being for the sake of his ego. Liam better watch it with the thumping. Bill might knock Liam out if he scratched "Sky."

Steffy tried to convince Liam to stop feeling sorry for Sally and remember what she'd done to the Forresters. As far as Steffy is concerned, Sally is getting what she deserves. Is Sally getting what she deserves? Or has this war between Steffy and Sally gone on long enough? Is the concrete brighter on the Spectra plot, or can't Bill find another perfect place for "Sky?"

I'm pleased with Sally's vigor, and I appreciate her pulling herself up by her bootstraps in Thomas' absence. It's better than the insecure sulking she's been doing. And from the look of the gown she was working on, she has definitely grown as a designer. It wasn't until I saw that design -- and some of her work in next week's preview -- that I started to think that maybe she can do it without Thomas. If she proves she can, then what does she really even need Thomas for? An occasional body rack?

Steffy has always been better-suited with Bill philosophically and morally than with Liam. She proved it by admiring Bill's ways and attempting to convince Liam to bend to his. Sally and Liam spent quality time together during his interview. She struggled not to be a victim, and he admitted to wearing his heart on his sleeve. Could the constant rescuer and perpetual rescuee make a perfect pair?

For it to work, Sally would have to remain on the straight and narrow. She'd also have to be willing to date poor again because Bill will strip Liam of his Spencerhood if Liam doesn't fall in line. Of course, she'd have to cross over Steffy's dead body to get him.

What to do you think? Will Liam cave to Bill's will after promising Sally he'd be fair? Is "Sky" really going to be the straw that breaks the Spencer family's back, or will Bill snarl and growl but fail to punish Liam for following his conscience? The question of the summer is -- will "Sky" ever be built, or is it time for Bill to put the toys away and be the grown man he keeps saying Liam needs to be?

In a look ahead

Nurse Brooke is on the case. On Monday's preview video, Brooke tells Sheila that she'd better find somewhere else to lay that bumped head of hers because she can't do it at the mansion. The whole thing with James and Sheila seems fishy to Brooke, and if Brooke intervenes, the next fight might be dubbed the Clash of the Exes. Brooke owes Sheila a smack in the mouth and has waited decades to give it.

Katie ain't got time for that. We can name one person who won't intervene with Sheila on Eric's behalf, and that's Katie. Finally taking my advice, Kate kicks the spreadsheets to the curb and starts spreading the sheets with Wyatt. Will Bill the stallion say neigh to his colt bucking his former filly?

Sally Spectra is electric. An electrical fire breaks out during Spectra's preview. Until we find out what sparks it, I suspect Steffy. She has to stop the feud between Bill and Liam some kind of way, and we all know what happens when she gets to elbowing people she doesn't like. If it's not Steffy's fault, then Sally had better get C.J. to knock something off the rent.

Let us know how you think the war between Bill and Liam might end, and what could Sheila possibly pull next to prolong her stay at the mansion? Are you disappointed in Dr. Warwick arriving with blackmail baggage?

Enjoy your weekend, and may your Monday eclipse be bold and beautiful, baby!Chanel

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