Katie, stop deflecting and start Watie

Katie put everything from Zende and Maya to Charlotte and Will between her and Wyatt. Katie needs to trust Wyatt's words: dating him will be hot and sexy -- and hot!

A lot happened this week on The Bold and the Beautiful, from Bill's fashion show upset to Sheila's voodoo cleansing priestess visit. In between, there were roller coaster twists and turns for relationships, and if only Katie would get out of her own way, she might have a shot at her second romance that doesn't involve Bill since Bill Spencer arrived in town. Let's scoop to it!

Like they always say, if you can't beat them, change the game. Bill Spencer makes his own money and his own rules. If you beat him with his rules, he changes the entire game. The fashion challenge was supposed to have a winner, but when Spectra wound up with the most votes, Bill decided to crown himself and the Spencer children's charities the winners of the Monte Carlo Fashion Challenge.

Preoccupied with Caroline's demise, Thomas had more serious things to worry about than whether he actually beat his sister. He left Sally and hopped a flight out of Monte Carlo to New York to be with Caroline and Douglas. Was that really goodbye, Bucko?

Just when Wyatt gave Katie a gold mine of her own business to mind, there Katie goes, minding Maya and Zende's business. Deflect much? Just because Katie's got the hots for her young ex-stepson doesn't mean Maya's got the fever for the flavor of her younger brother-in-law. However, when a doctor flirts with a woman, using her husband as the translator, well, that's some tea worth steeping!

In L.A., Sheila is sweating Eric so hard, she's giving Charlie heat stroke. Charlie is worried about Sheila wanting to be the next Mrs. Eric Forrester, but he needs to worry about getting out of Sheila's hotel room before she and Beatrice start boiling chicken feet in a pan with Eric's hair and looking to Charlie to make a virginal blood donation.

Eric is at home, dropping the "D" word on Quinn. Isn't he moving a little fast for a man who, beforehand, hadn't had a single one-on-one talk with his wife about her stepson infatuation?

Looks like Katie and Quinn have some things in common. Katie is resisting a stepson infatuation, too. Ex-stepson, that is. She doesn't think a few kisses with Wyatt are a big deal. Maybe Quinn can remind Katie what a big deal she used to think kisses were. Quinn claims she and Ridge don't even know why they were drawn to each other. Maybe Katie can warn Quinn that stepsons get even sexier after the divorce!

Quantifying the kisses

Katie used to think a few kisses between a stepmother and stepson were explosive, but when she and her ex-stepson explode into kisses in the romantic Monte Carlo, suddenly the kisses are just silly and ridiculous. What's ridiculous and silly, Katie, is how the fairytale music played, the camera spun around you, and you kissed Wyatt like the climax of My Big Fat Monaco Romance, but then you turned it into an About Last Night conundrum.

Sharing kisses either means something or it doesn't. Katie needs to make up her mind when she's spying on other people and judging them for cheek kisses. Why is Katie acting so guilty and self-conscious about her and Wyatt? It's like she is so attracted to him that it turns her into acne teen again.

Maybe Katie is worried about what other people will think. While it's true she's been the queen of judgment, L.A. is so small that everyone will just be relieved she and Wyatt aren't trying to spark off a triangle in their lives. Katie and Wyatt found single people to date? Go for it. Katie better make a move fast because Charlotte is triangulating into Watie orbit.

In case you missed it, Katie and Wyatt got all giddy in Monte Carlo when they heard how much money they'd raised for charity, and they swept each other up in a kiss to rival any Disney prince and princess' romantic moment. In fact, I think I heard birds chirping, and they hovered over the couple with a string of heart-shaped lace.

Later that night, Wyatt danced all up Katie at the after-party in the club and even wanted to take it back to her hotel room. She managed to pipe him down, but when she took him into a private part of the jet cabin to help her "quantify some marketing numbers," Wyatt rolled on her faster than a freshly opened condom, ready to take it to the mile-high club.

Simmer down, Wyatt! I know it's been a long time, but dang! This used to be your stepmom. Can't we just take it one step at a time? Wyatt probably does think he's taking it one step at a time. Young bucks move fast. To them, step one is the kiss, and the next step is directly into the bed. Before Katie knows it, she'll be rolling with around Wyatt, and like Ridge and Quinn, Katie won't even know how it happened.

Let's just be real. If Katie gives in to Wyatt, we all know why. It'll be because it's "hot and sexy...and hot," like Wyatt said. Katie wants to be levelheaded about it, and she should be after her last two marriages to Bill, the biggest love of her life thus far. Maybe she's worried that she's projecting her old feelings for Bill onto Wyatt, Bill's mini-me.

Maybe Katie is being a good mother by thinking about it before launching into a romance with her son's brother. Wasn't she worried once that Will would be confused that his father is married to his aunt? Then again, maybe Will is young enough that he won't even remember if Katie wants to throw caution to the wind. If Brooke can follow her heart, why can't Katie?

Wyatt might be just what Katie needs to work some of those ugly-duckling issues out of her. Wyatt is adventurous, and his doting nature will help repair her self-esteem after Brill. I'm on board because Wyatt might be able to give the busybody enough to focus on to keep her out of other people's business. Well, then again, he does seem to have to occasionally pull her nose out of Zende and Maya's business and put it back to his and Katie's.

What will the family and friends think? Steffy believes the whole world has been turned upside down due to the relationships in her family. Wait until she gets a load of Watie! And what about Bill? Will he neigh and stomp his hoof in approval of his son bedding his ex-wife? If not, Wyatt can remind Bill that Katie and Wyatt are both single because Bill married Katie's sister, and Wyatt's brother took Wyatt's wife! So everyone else can really shut up if they don't like it.

Quinn would probably unleash the dragon if she thought Katie might be her stepdaughter, but something tells me Quinn will be too busy fighting Sheila's voodoo with Quinn's own brand of sorcery to have time to complain about Wyatt's new girlfriend.

All that's left is to find out what you think. Should Katie stop throwing obstacles in the way and go on a date with Wyatt, or should she curl up to some quantifying spreadsheets after Will goes to bed? Will building a relationship with Wyatt keep her nose out of other people's business?

I see cheating people!

If two people are within touching distance of each other, leave it to Inspector Katie to turn it into either a murder or an affair. Katie see cheaters everywhere she looks, and her preoccupation with what she suspected Zende and Maya were up to ruined her chances to make the mile-high club Wyatt. Well, to be fair, Katie might have wanted to avoid hitting the mile-high with her ex-stepson on the same jet she got mile-high with his father on.

Katie grounded Wyatt's libido and told him about Maya and Zende's salacious behavior at the after-party. It's time for Katie to lay off the club soda because the bubbly went straight to her head on this one. Katie thought something was heating up with Zende and Maya, but really, something was cooling down after they almost had to kick some bigot ass up in the club.

Katie missed the mark with Zende and Maya. The real scandal juice came fresh-squeezed earlier that day when Lizzy's doctor had Rick translating flirts to Maya.

In case you missed it, Rick and Maya didn't make it to the fashion show because Lizzy came down with a fever after traveling to Monte Carlo. A doctor saw Lizzy and Maya and rendered two opinions. First, Lizzy would be fine, and second, Maya was definitely as fine as hell.

The doctor recognized Maya from somewhere. She and Rick explained that she was a model and should have been in the showing going on at the pier. The doctor thought it was a shame that the crowds would miss out on Maya. To Rick, he said, "Monsieur, d'une beaut vous couper le souffle." Rick translated the doctor as saying that Maya was breathtaking.

Please tell me I wasn't the only one missing my mouth, dropping popcorn in my lap, wondering if these three were about to take it to the bedroom or if Rick was about to sock this pretty man in the face? Flirting with Rick's wife through Rick takes some steel balls, man!

After the fashion show, Nicole did her usual "think only of myself" bit. Zende wanted to celebrate his first showing, but all boring Nicole wanted to do was check on Lizzy, take a bath, and go to bed. I understand being jetlagged and tired after working all day in the sun -- but how many times does she think she'll be in Monte Carlo, celebrating her husband's first showing? She took it for granted just like she took for granted her ability to pop out another baby.

Nicole lied, too, honey. She was all, "Oh, we're gonna party like it's 1999 -- right after my bath." Zende should have known she wasn't leaving the hotel after soaking in the tub. After I do it, I'm lucky if I hit the bed instead of the floor before I fall asleep, half-wet, in my towel or robe.

Brooke had more giddyup for the stallion than Nicole, the youngest woman there, had for her man! Brooke didn't complain about jet lag or act like she'd been doing hard labor instead of modeling cruise wear. She seemed excited about accompanying her husband to the club and about the prospect of jumping in his saddle back at the yacht later.

Nicole just did Zende wrong. She sent her sister with him and said she'd catch up later. When later came, Rick was working and watching Lizzy. Nicole scuttled in there in her pajamas and plopped on the couch with him. Rick was looking like, "I might be old, but that doesn't look like a booty, clubbing dress. It looks more like a booty going to bed romper."

Meanwhile, Zende was throwing back drinks and dancing with Maya. Before it all went down, I'd predicted a repeat of last Halloween's train wreck to "Hawaiiville" would happen once Zende figured out Nicole once again did what she wanted to do without considering him. I just had a hard time believing the faithful wife and sister, Maya, would be aboard that train with him.

Eventually, Brooke and Bill left, and Katie and Wyatt slipped into the lobby. These two guys, we'll call them Beavis and Butthead, recognized Maya and engaged her. Butthead was amazed to see how much she looked like a woman. "If I didn't know, I wouldn't know," he said.

Zende quickly decided it was time for Beavis and Butthead to sail on down the line. "You know she used to be a dude, right?" Butthead asked. He said he meant it as a compliment, and, "I don't know if I want to kiss her or what."

Butthead must have thought he'd broken the ice enough to then ask how Maya could have a baby. When Zende said the man was rude and needed to give her an apology, the man asserted, "That isn't a 'her.'"

Butthead complained about Maya flaunting it on the dance floor but refusing people the right to ask questions. Because Zende had danced with Maya, the guy assumed Zende was also one of "those freaks."

Zende and Maya had more patience than I. If it was me, Butthead wouldn't have gotten one word further than "If I didn't know, I wouldn't know," before I would have taken Zende's hand and walked off. But that's because I'm a single woman, and I can sense a jackass is about to say the wrong thing right when he opens his mouth.

It wasn't long before Zende threatened to take out the trash if Beavis and Butthead didn't get out of his and Maya's face. The dudes wisely left. Maya expressed her gratitude to Zende for defending her. She kissed his cheek and hugged him.

Then here comes Katie, drunk off Wyatt's kisses, cocking her head harder than a confused poodle as she watched Zende and Maya. Even though Katie knows she only saw a kiss on the cheek and a hug, she refused to let it go. It festered in her mind on the jet, and she was still talking about it when Wyatt dropped her off at Forrester.

As for the incidents with Maya, isn't it amazing how differently people approach things? The doctor simply said Maya was beautiful, no questions asked. We don't know if he knows about her transition or not. Butthead claimed he was complimenting her on her transition, but he probably insults everyone he talks to without even knowing it.

And what was that mess he said about Maya was flaunting it without letting people question it. In other words, he was probably attracted to Maya but didn't know how to feel about it. That's usually what jerks say when a woman gets offended after they touch or speak to her inappropriately. You know, the "why are you dressed that way if you don't want me to touch you or talk to you like that?" defense.

It might not be any solace to Maya to be reminded that many people experience this kind of foolishness in the form of sexism, racism, homophobia, religious persecution, or just really anything petty an ignorant person can come up with. Maya shouldn't feel bad, ashamed, or embarrassed because someone else doesn't have home training, especially not after all she's accomplished to make such an awesome life for herself.

But is Katie any better for thinking things about Zende and Maya but not saying it to their faces? Would it be better for Katie to just ask Maya and get it out in the open before someone overhears Katie, and it causes Zende and Maya's spouses to question them as Eric is now questioning Ridge and Quinn?

No due diligence divorce

Rick and Nicole won't go through what Eric has gone through because their spouses haven't done anything they have to be concerned about. And for Eric, it's a lot deeper than an aunt-in-law misinterpreting what she saw. It's about his wife and his son giving him a false impression of what was really happening. Instead of having someone in his corner to help him deal reasonably with the betrayal, Eric has a psychotic patient of witch doctor shoving him toward divorce so that she can be the next Mrs. Eric Forrester.

Yes, y'all. I said witch doctor's patient. After whatever we witnessed in Sheila's hotel room, it will take a lot to convince me that somebody won't get sacrificed to make a love potion spell to ensnare Eric. My guess is Charlie, and it might be what he gets for sneaking around with Sheila after Pam told him what Sheila was all about.

I don't know exactly what Beatrice is doing over at Sheila's hotel, but Beatrice is a hack or a force for darkness. There is no way a legitimate space-cleansing psychic would approve of the psychic energy in Sheila's abode. Beatrice shook her incense cone at Charlie, but she needs to burn Sheila in the forehead with it if she really wants to exorcise the place of evil.

While Sheila worked on self-improvement, Eric told Quinn it was over, no discussion required. She begged him to reconsider and suspected he was angry. He claimed the anger had subsided. "You broke it! You broke it with my son!" Eric yelled. Sounded to me like the anger was just getting started.

For the last year, I enjoyed the Eric and Quinn storyline. I even enjoyed the storyline of Ridge and Quinn on the cusp of an affair. Once Sheila entered the storyline, I lost the script, and I kind of feel betrayed as a viewer because it seems that couples are no longer tested and made stronger by their endurance. They're just busted up for quickie relationship with someone else.

Viewers who invested in Quinn's transformation and had faith in Eric's belief in her deserved to see this couple survive at least one vows betrayal. Oh, if it had been anyone but Ridge! That's what they all say. Eric needs to suck it up. Bill did, and now he's happy with Brooke. Liam did it, too, when Steffy was married to Wyatt, and they're happy, too. Nicole and Zende, same thing.

Eric's hurt and humiliation are not unique, and it takes more courage to attempt to honor your vows when you've been wronged than it does to toss away the relationship. Besides that, Eric's choices affect the entire family and business.

Eric is so hurt over some kisses that he leaves Zende as the sole designer unless Eric comes out of retirement. Eric will also have to gut the jewelry department. Steffy could possibly get demoted to make room for Eric at the top. Should Eric, at his age and with his medical history, even come out of retirement at this point? I can only imagine what fresh hell will open up if he marries Sheila and she insinuates herself into Forrester.

Bill Spencer: the winner and still stallion

Even when Bill Spencer is bad, he manages to leave us feeling good. Who can be mad at Bill for what he pulled with the fashion show when, in the end, it was all about the kids. From hiding the competition results to lying to Thomas about Caroline's illness, it's all about the kids.

In case you missed it, Spectra and Forrester Creations went head to head in the tearfully beautiful Monte Carlo. Bill produced dollar bills with his face on them and created a special voting app to determine the winners of the competition. And how were the designs? Let me put it this way: you voted for Forrester if you were looking for retirement vacation wear, and you voted for Spectra if you're an environmentalist looking to collect ocean trash while you swim.

Maybe fashion wasn't that bad. But who was paying attention anyway? Not Bill, who daydreamed about a ribbon-cutting ceremony for his skyscraper. Not Thomas, who moped around like the sexiest model at a funeral. And not Wyatt and Katie, who were too busy pretending to watch the show to hide the fact that they were really watching each other.

Bill took to the stage to announce the winner, but when he read his phone app, which indicated that Spectra had received the most votes, Bill told the world, "That winner is me, Bill Spencer." Bill won, and so did the children, who they raised just over a million dollars for.

Steffy, Sally, Brooke, and others seemed perplexed but still clapped as Bill explained that the app had been just a tool to spur bids, but the votes had never been tabulated. No one really believed it, but no one pressed it, either. The most anyone investigated it was when Sally checked with Eva and told the barely present Thomas that Eva hadn't known anything more.

Bill ripped Sally and Thomas off for the fashion show win, but what's more important? A winner's sash or filling a ton of new orders with her loving Bucko by her side? Oh, wait. I forgot. Bill also ripped Sally and Thomas off for their relationship by lying about Caroline dying.

I'm on the fence about whether to blame Bill for that one. Sure, he started the lie, but Caroline didn't correct it. Even Steffy wouldn't let Liam keep thinking she had a blood clot in her brain once she finally found out that it wasn't true. But what does Caroline do? Nothing.

Bill lied, and Caroline let the lie stand; however, Thomas still bears some responsibility because, despite the many promises he made Sally, Thomas just up and left Sally in Monte Carlo to fly to New York to be with Caroline and Douglas. Sally was very understanding about it -- seeing as Caroline is DYING and everything -- and Sally took a commercial flight home.

What happened to Thomas' promise to be there for Douglas and Sally, too? This is a critical time for Spectra. Katie said the phones are ringing, and the attention from the show is generating a lot of buzz. And Forrester is the loser, so imagine what it's like over at Spectra. Thomas completely abandoned the entire business at the worst time, and he did it without even talking to Caroline's mothers or her doctors. He hasn't even seen a single doctor's bill or test result.

This ought to teach Sally something about this man she calls herself in love with and found herself in a partnership with. He just does things based on his emotions without any research or responsibility for the consequences. Liam asked if Thomas planned to return and expressed concern that Spectra was finished if Thomas didn't come back.

Sally should already know this is how Thomas is. He did the same thing to his own family and business when he felt compelled to save Sally and Spectra from Bill. Thomas just wrote the check and never looked back at his old job at Forrester. What will he do when he finally finds out that Caroline isn't dying? When he returns to Los Angeles, should Sally take him back?

Will there be a Spectra to come back to if the gang can't handle the surge of orders and publicity from the fashion show without Thomas? I wonder what they plan to tell the press about Thomas' sudden absence from the business. Thomas' absence leaves Spectra vulnerable to Bill, who might love money and skyscrapers more than Brooke.

When Bill first brought up this whole skyscraper thing, I thought it was just a plot point to cause him to write the horrible review for Sally. He's been obsessed with it for a while now, and I'm starting to suspect that it might be the writers' escape hatch if they ever decide to consolidate sets and send Thomas and Sally over to work at Forrester. What do you think? Will Bill ever do more than dream of a groundbreaking ceremony?

In a look ahead

Previews and spoilers indicate that Sally tells Liam about his dying cousin. That can only mean two things -- no one in New York has told Thomas the truth yet, something Caroline should have done the moment he landed, and Thomas still has not seen any test results, medications, or proof that Caroline is suffering from anything but occasional PMS.

If this spoiler is true, why is Sally running her mouth about it when Thomas told her Caroline hadn't spread it around?

We'd love to hear what you think about Katie giving Wyatt the brush-off, Zende defending Maya, and Thomas and Eric walking out on Sally and Quinn. Until we scoop again, a bit of advice: do not hire a psychic to do an exorcist's job, and if you find yourself translating pickup lines from a stranger to your mate, it means your mate must be bold and beautiful, baby!Chanel

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