It's the mismatch

Adversaries coming together. Allies coming apart. A little visit to a place called Genoa City. And Sally Spectra in the house. See how or if it all fits with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you finally find some fruit in your Fruit of the Looms? Did you dream of hanging around someone like a necklace? Did you take multiple trips down Memory Lane? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Well, here we are, Scoopers! We're entering into a time where we're told down is up and day is night. Amazingly, B&B seems poised to correct some of their own missteps, at least where Never-Ending Triangle Syndrome is concerned. Yet Sally's surprise sequence and Eric's crossover to Y&R provided an interesting contrast we wouldn't get in a typical week. Get ready to go rogue, and let's Scoop about it!

Now, I haven't always been able to watch episodes the same day they aired since before my Best & Worst and If I Wrote B&B columns, though I've kept up through recaps and posts/comments across social media. I half expected to see a completely different show, considering how fast B&B moves sometimes. Yet here was Wyatt looking all weepy about Steffy and Liam complaining that Eric and Quinn were manipulating him. Where was that fast-forward button?

Thankfully, things changed once Carter showed up for his 8.2-second appearance at Wyatt's crib. (When is Mr. Walton going to get his own storyline? Or at least a date?) Some guys bring girls flowers -- Wyatt gave Steffy a stack of divorce papers. My jaw is gonna bruise from where it dropped. But wait: Steffy already filed, and we were told the divorce wouldn't be final for six months. How could Wyatt suddenly push it through?

If you think B&B marriages are inconsistent, their divorces are whoppers: some characters wait six months that turn out to be three, others untie the knot the next day. But it was worth it that Wyatt pulled whatever strings he did to see him finally grow some balls. I've watched this guy simper around for almost a year, trying to convince Steffy he was a better match than Liam. It was pathetic and becoming unwatchable.

Case in point: Wyatt telling Steffy "we carved out some good memories here" and then subjecting us to flashbacks of them playing on the beach and in Monte Carlo. "Wyatt, don't," Steffy sighed, right along with me. But Wyatt switched gears and said something I never thought I'd hear: "You were never really mine to begin with." He decided it was time to man up and let Steffy go. It's about freakin' time!

Wyatt even brought the tattoo removal guy over to zap his own hand, and it was actually funny when he couldn't take the pain as well as Steffy. I've been saying for months that Wyatt just needed to concede defeat and move on. I half wonder if the show listened. I'll repeat that Statt never had a chance; I know part of why we watch soaps is to feel superior to people doing stupid things, but thank the soap gods that's over.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Malibu, Bill was about to go out for a box of diapers because Liam was having such an infantile conniption about Steffy not being back from her Wyatt-dumping errand. Maybe I missed something, because Steffy never actually went back to Wyatt, despite all the shipping by Eric and Quinn. "I want our life back!" Liam whined. The one before or after you caught Wyatt and Steffy snoozing half-naked?

"I'm tired, I'm so tired," Liam complained, and I nodded wearily. Either Steffy came through that door right now or Liam was walkin'! Huh? Were we being set up for another one of B&B's infamous, latter-day, contrived misunderstandings? Liam pitched a fit, then his phone (hopefully it didn't start recording like his iPad in Italy), then declared he was eating veal and getting on a plane for parts unknown.

Maybe not his best choice, since the last time he was on a jet, he gave himself amnesia in the restroom. He never works, anyway, so I guess he can just take off at whim. The way Steffy and Liam were shown driving separately, I thought there was a head-on collision in their future, which might have been a cool twist. Instead, Liam drove to the airport and parked near the terminal of CBS Airlines.

You think I'm kidding? That "airport" was totally the parking lot at the CBS Studios on Beverly Boulevard in Los Angeles. I once wrote a column from the other side of that fence! Then Liam apparently sat in his car for however long it took for Steffy to drive from Malibu to L.A. proper -- until Steffy darted into the parking lot, looking for him. Good thing B&B stopped that foolishness before my eyes got locked in the upright position.

Yes, Liam and Steffy, the only people in the parking lot of even a private airport, ran to each other in slo-mo, as if they hadn't just done that on the beach last year. I was actually relieved when Steffy purred, "I'm yours," because it saved weeks of more silly miscommunication. I don't particularly care who Steffy ends up with; let's just pick one and be done with it. That pick now seems to be Liam.

Could have done without them going home and rehashing the whole divorce with Wyatt, and of course they were gonna boof, but seeing it didn't move me. (Well, okay, Scott Clifton without a shirt did, but still.) "I like that we have our disagreements and it's not the end of the world," Steffy marveled. Then you wouldn't have wanted to see his ass a couple of hours before, Steffy. To top things off, Liam proposed. Yay! I guess.

Wyatt continued demonstrating his much-welcome growth spurt by reiterating to Eric and Quinn that was time to set Steffy free. Then Wyatt joined Liam for a brewski and declared he was tired of fighting with him over "women, Dad, business, everything." It was pointless, and "think about what we could accomplish if we weren't competing." The Spencer brothers against the world? Hell to the yeah!

I have always said that Wyatt and Liam play better as a team. I know -- feuding brothers is basic Soap 101. But Scott Clifton and Darin Brooks have such a natural rapport that when the brothers Spencer come together, it's a joy to behold. I could get used to it. Imagine them facing some other kind of drama together. Imagine Wyatt with a woman who isn't a Liam leftover! For the first time since Wyatt's 2013 debut; it could happen.

I guess CBS Airlines found Thomas' lost sense of entitlement, because he came back from New York P.O.'d that he'd been dissed for CEO. Oh, come on. How many times are we gonna fight over that godforsaken chair? I wish I'd never heard of it! Thomas may be Ridge's firstborn, but he doesn't have any more experience running Forrester than Steffy does. Even Ridge never captained that ship until he was much older.

"Maybe I should have just married Wyatt, and Quinn would have fought for me," Thomas spat. That I'd like to see! It's still legal (though who knows for how long), and Wyatt's single now. Anyway, Rick also jockeyed for his old CEO seat by suggesting Steffy take Liam on an extended honeymoon. Yeah, Rick, because your approval ratings as CEO rivaled someone else I could mention.

It may be all academic, because while Thomas and Rick seem to be picking up Liam's crybaby baton, Quinn decided that maybe Steffy could share CEO duties with Ridge. The legend of Ridge's magic lips must be true because Quinn would sooner have dumped him out of a helicopter herself until her San Francisco treat. Can we just give the CEO angle a rest for a few months? A year? A decade or two? It's sooo overplayed.

Quinn had such hot flashes from her Ridge flashbacks that she didn't even question Ivy getting over her Americanitis (or why she suddenly reverted to her natural accent). There was no earthquake in L.A., but that hand-held camera shook to underscore the tension as Quinn wandered backstage at CBS (ahem, Forrester), trying to outrun the heat from her nether regions. Still love Eric there, Quinn?

For his part, Ridge had the same flashbacks and told Eric he had come to appreciate his stepmommy before likewise wandering backstage and making closeup eye contact with her. I'm not sure what B&B is trying to do here. Why go to the trouble of reuniting Bridge if they're just going to mess that up with a Ridge/Quinn dalliance? Or worse -- a coupling?

Quinn's been a busy girl. Deacon, Liam, Eric, now Ridge, all in two years. At this rate Charlie had better watch out. Rena Sofer is killing it, but ever since about 1999, B&B has done what you could call The ________ Show. First it was The Amber Show. The Leffy/Lope Show. Steam/Statt. They fixate on one character or story and roll with it and roll with it and roll with it.

Now it's The Quinn Show. And despite the excellent delving into Quinn's past and admission that she made bad choices to protect herself and Wyatt, I am still not buying her changeover. Not because I think she's faking but because I think she's recovered too fast. She was mentally ill; the story should be her struggle for normalcy, not just her saying one day she's changed and that's it.

Instead, the story is Ridge trying to trick Quinn into betraying Eric. How did he think that was going to work? Was he just going to tell Eric it happened with no proof? At least Stephanie rigged up video cameras to catch Ridge and Brooke in the act way back when. And then Ridge promised Quinn he'd keep quiet because he didn't want to be banished. What does he think would have happened if he'd succeeded in his plan?

No, Ridge confessed said plan before the kiss and now added that he'd been blinded by his scheme. Wouldn't it be great if his newfound appreciation for Quinn was just a new tactic? But I don't think we're going there. Ridge is daydreaming about Quinn and confusing Rick and the others by adding jewelry to his designs and uncharacteristically advocating friendship with Quinn for the sake of peace.

Nicole, fresh from the meeting an intern probably wouldn't be in on, brought the prototype of a chunky necklace Quinn had been working on. Ridge decided he wanted to see it on her. Now, if Thorsten Kaye was standing behind me touching my neck, I'd go weak in the knees, too. Citing the different sizes of stones, Quinn said, "It's the mismatch, the antagonism..." which Ridge finished with, "But they fit perfectly, don't they?"

This is the way CaRidge started. But the heat is dampened for me because I can't see Ridge falling for a woman with Quinn's history. That would be like Ridge crushing on Sheila. Eric has a pattern of getting with crazy women, so it can be justified with him. Ridge's pattern is Brooke. Please, let's just stick with Bridge. Anything to keep Brooke from going back to Bill. Unless Brooke likes being locked in towers.

I did enjoy Ridge and Eric's first step in tearing down the wall between them. Kaye or Moss, Eric and Ridge have always had a special warmth between them. As Eric headed out the door, Ridge proclaimed, "There's something you should know." But he just told his not-biodad how much he loved him. Was Ridge going to rat on Quinn? And how could he spin that when he was the one who kissed Quinn in the first place?

I'm sorry, but it made no sense that Pam would sneak into Eric's kitchen to make lemon bars with kale as a decoy when Quinn is right in the next room. And when Katie came over to dish, I smelled a contrivance. Like Pam doesn't have her own kitchen, wherever she lives. But her "I wonder if she's trying to win Ridge over like she did with me" query about Quinn was sound. I'd love it if Quinn was playing Ridge the whole time!

Not knowing who was playing who would be delicious, too. But the growing connection between Ridge and Quinn seems to be genuine, which isn't as interesting. Quinn dubbed Ridge "Chicken Little" while Ridge wondered if Quinn was the fox who ate everyone at the end of that story. Indeed. Yet Ridge surprised her with the absent Eric's martinis and toasted her portrait. I may have inherited Ridge's now-obsolete gag reflex.

Ridge was over the moon that he might reclaim half of the CEO chair because of Quinn. He picked her up and spun her around, and faster than you could say "engagement string," the convenient Katie padded in from the kitchen and caught the former enemies' embrace. Too bad Katie didn't film it, like she did Quinn's oblique threat to Liam. Was Katie ever going to do anything with that? She's not a very effective snoop!

Out of absolute nowhere, Eric needed to see Katie's newspaper (you know, because he doesn't know how to use Google) to confirm that Sally Spectra's notorious downtown warehouse was scheduled for demolition. Huh. Did Jackie M revert to Spectra after the Marone-Knights skipped town in 2012? And B&B, please don't tear down Spectra Fashions. I'm still not over the closure of the Caf Russe!

But Eric smiled as he thought back to his first meeting with Sally and the success of the joint Forrester-Spectra fashion show on the Queen Mary back in 1989. And, in case you're wondering why Eric and Sally were toasting bubbly together, that was in 1995 while he was romancing her into pulling his stolen designs from her collection. Oh, for the good old days. My heart smiled and hurt at the same time.

It's not as random a recollection as it seemed. January 14 was the tenth anniversary of Darlene Conley's passing. So the homage wasn't out of place. What it brought out, though, was the continuing glaring absence of the Spectras, and Forrester not having another fashion house to compete against. And just how awesome the stories were then. Clarke saved Spectra once before; can't he come back to stop the bulldozers?

I must tell my Darlene Conley story. I met her at a soap event in 1998. "Hallo, handsome," she said in her Sally Spectra best. I'd hoped to get photos with her, Bobbie Eakes (Macy), Ken Hanes (Mike Guthrie), and Tracey Bregman (Lauren), but a security guard wouldn't let me. Until Darlene stepped in. I have snaps with them all, and Soaps in Depth published me getting photographed with "Macy." None of that would have happened without the coolness that was Darlene. Thank you, Sally.

In yet another example of throwback, Eric crossed over to Y&R, so of course I had to watch. Man, those Lauren/Sheila crossovers in the mid-'90s were epic beyond epic. And don't forget, Lauren was on B&B from 1995-1998. Meeting at a Genoa City hotspot, Lauren asked Eric, "Remember when you shot Rush with the crossbow?" And Eric replied, "Yeah, that was badass."

Okay, they didn't really say that. (But Tracey Bregman did like my tweet about it!) However, Eric and Lauren did broach their one-time romance, and Eric even asked about Scott, Lauren's son who had been switched for a black market baby by Sheila. (Fen is in college already? SORAS is alive and well!) Their reunion was warm and wonderful, but it also got a little weird.

Relaying that his family felt Quinn was out to manipulate him, Lauren cooed, "I don't believe there's a woman who's been born who could manipulate you." Hello, wasn't Lauren the one who stood up to stop Eric's wedding to Sheila for that very reason? And then Lauren congratulated Eric on his marriage to Quinn! Ms. Fuller's bridge-pushing, Liam-impaling escapades must not have reached Genoa City.

Eric sassed that he couldn't have been that potent or Lauren wouldn't have broken it off with him. I'm rusty, but didn't Eric leave Lauren to go back to Stephanie? At any rate, Eric knew all about Lauren's financial troubles at Fenmore's. Wait -- he heard about Fenmore's through the fashion press but had to look in the paper for info about Spectra?

Well, I don't know the backstory (I haven't actively watched Y&R since the '90s), but wasn't Jack Abbott surprised when Eric championed Lauren and topped Jack's offer for a Fenmore's merger. Did you notice how much stronger Eric was on Y&R? I think it's definitely a spike in the material. B&B could benefit from an influx of new talent the way Y&R seems to be doing!

Speaking of such influxes, there were lots of opinions posted in reaction to my "If I Wrote B&B" column. Got any opinions about this one? Share 'em in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

• "I love what B&B would be like if you wrote [it]. Can you tell us fans how to make it happen...I have been watching this soap since it started and...am tired of this vicious circle." -- Ruth • "I find your version of what happens more entertaining [than] B&B has been in years. I love your use of history which B&B often forgets...I love that you have written in Massimo and Sally's death, as I never liked how B&B kept Sally alive...only thing I didn't like was Douglas turning out to be Ridge's...I do love that you made Ridge a Forrester again, something that should have been fixed long ago..." -- SG66 • "Sounds good except for Quinn. I don't care what she has done, this isn't real life and she is the only reason I still watch. [Rena Sofer] is an amazing actress and [Quinn] and Eric have amazing chemistry. Unless they send Bill to prison for breaking out Deacon, faking Steffy's brain tumor, etc, Rick for murder, Steffy and Ridge for fraud (POA), I am good with Quinn sticking around." -- Priscilla [AUTHOR'S NOTE: Agreed, but while Rick did shoot Grant Chambers while in a fugue state as a teen, he never murdered anybody.] • "I like your version of events except for undoing Ridge as Massimo's son. I really liked their scenes together and that was a great storyline with tons of emotional payoff and to retcon that retcon would sort of invalidate it, which would be disappointing. But otherwise...brilliant! You even managed to redeem Sheila, something I never thought was possible." -- GM • "Quote of the year: Wyatt, who said he needs 2 find a girl that doesn't know Liam's name...no takebacks Brad it's on tape!" -- @Janet_TamaraFan

I about cheered when Wyatt said that! At least at this point the only other girl Wyatt could get with who was with Liam first is Amber, which could be interesting. Footnote: Brad, I'm totally available. I don't know much about the business end but I'd do my best to give B&B a reboot while staying true to its history!

Devoutly to be wished, as Ridge said. I will be back just in time for Valentine's Day while Chanel fills our Two Scoops next week. Did you hear B&B is jetting back to Australia next month to film for the show's 30th anniversary? Hope that turns out to be my week! LOL Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember, now more than ever, no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, or orientation, we're all beautiful.

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.