The bold, the beautiful, and the just plain mean of 2016

It was a year of kidnappings, divorces, and weddings galore on the Bold and the Beautiful. Let's scoop on the best, the worst, and the dumbest schemes of 2016.

It's that time again, when the L.A. residents celebrate by the ornamented tree at the mansion, get wasted off Eric's special eggnog, and gather around the piano to sing Christmas carols. As the Forresters and Spencers bond with the ones they love, tolerate the ones they hate, and lament the dearly departed and faraway family members, Two Scoops flashes back on the bold, the beautiful, and the just plain mean of 2016.

This week, the serpent Ridge slithered out of the garden to open "Eve's" eyes to her nakedness, but it was Ridge whose eyes were opened to an attraction between him and Quinn. Ridge bridged the final gap between him and Brooke with Stephanie's engagement ring, and Eric proved that a little persistence pays off in song and holiday cheer. Family and tradition was thicker than stubbornness this holiday season.

Stubbornness was the mantra for 2016, it seems. No matter how foolish they looked or the obstacles in their way, some remained headstrong in their dispositions -- even when they made no sense to other characters or the viewers. In the end, love is supposed to conquer all. As we review the best and worst of the year, we'll decide how true that really was for some of our beloved characters.

The best wedding of the year goes to Quinn and Eric, who -- unlike Ridge and Caroline the previous year -- wanted family surrounding them on their wedding day. Ridge and Steffy staged the Brat-Pact Boycott of the century and convinced the family not to show on Eric and Quinn's big day. They even talked simpletons Pam and Charlie into sneaking out the back door of the mansion without a word to Eric.

Thorne was supposed to be the best man, and Felicia had flown in from Paris for the nonevent. Eric hadn't been so excited since he'd propped his oiled legs up in Quinn's bed for the very first time. He just knew his family would not let him down.

Ivy showed up. The string quartet showed up. The officiant, played by Perez Hilton, showed up. But as the clocked ticked in the room void of family chatter, Eric's countenance fell, and he realized that his entire family had stood him up.

Rena Sofer and John McCook are magic together, and the looks the two exchanged when the bride Quinn strode down the stairs to the empty room proved what this couple is made of -- forever diamonds. Quinn's resolve gave Eric strength, and when she seemed weak, he held her up. They helped each other cope with the sad conclusion that their families had abandoned them and shunned what they considered to be the best day of their lives.

The family hoped to break the couple, but they were the ones who crumbled when their obstinance landed Eric in the hospital. They weren't done yet, and they still aren't done. Even though Quinn's portrait replaced Stephanie's in the living room, the Forresters refuse to find a place for Quinn in their hearts.

It's obvious from Ridge's bitter banter with Quinn that the fight isn't over. Quinn bats Ridge around like a cat with a baby mouse, but I expect their loathing for each other to morph into catnip in the new year. Ridge hates everything about Quinn, but he admitted that she's got a nice body. Bill is determined to blow up Bridge. If Bill succeeds, can we expect an explosion between Quinn and Ridge?

We saw a lot of wedding gowns this year, but anybody could have told Brooke to just stay in her robe and not even bother with her hair as long as Ridge was within three thousand miles of any of her weddings.

What made this non-wedding so satisfying wasn't Ridge's mediocre promise not to be stupid and hurt Brooke again. It wasn't the delight Brooke haters took in her tears when she found herself alone at the altar. It was the sparks between the guests, and best of all, Bill's shimmering pride when he walked out the door on Brooke.

Donna Logan graced us with her presence as she played maid of honor for her big sister. Even though Donna acted like she barely knew Brooke was marrying Katie's ex-husband of one day -- or that they even had another sister named Katie -- Donna reminded us of what supporting characters do. They support the main storyline while bringing on some intrigue of their own.

Justin was up for the task. He couldn't keep his eyes off the blonde with the tight purple dress on, and it made me wonder why they ever got divorced in the first place. Brooke tasked Donna with stalling Bill while Brooke tried to get rid of Ridge, who'd slipped into his old house to abscond with the soon-to-not-be Mrs. Dollar Bill. As Donna nervously twitched and fiddled, full of excuses, Bill's nostrils flared, and he stomped upstairs to deal with the Ridge infestation.

Brooke played dumb, as if Ridge hadn't tried to break up almost all of her weddings ever, but Bill wasn't attracted to a dumb blonde act that day -- not after exhausting every bit of patience he had for Ridge and Mini-Ridge, R.J. Bill called the wedding off.

Brooke thought she could kiss the boo-boo on Bill's ego and drag the stallion over to the fake flower altar. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Bill told her to put the million-dollar Champagne back on the shelf, and they'd revisit it another day when she'd successfully fumigated her heart of Ridge.

It was all Katie could do to keep from gloating all over Bill when the wedding he'd shuffled her to the side for in a whirlwind divorce, the likes of which I haven't seen since Thorne fax-divorced Macy. With his one-track-Brooke mind, Bill was sure it would happen someday, but while he tried to impress R.J. with all the money in his safe room that would be useless during an apocalypse (Trust me. It's true, according to the Fallout video game I'm obsessed with), Ridge was romancing Brooke with the stone -- the grave stone, that is.

Katie retracted her claws once again when a heart in the sand -- and I swear to God that was the exact same footage from the first time Ridge drew it -- won Brooke's heart for Ridge, and Bridge was back in business.

You're a good one for that, Katie. I could not have been silent after I drowned in alcohol, walked down a hot beach barefoot on the Fourth of July, and learned that my husband and sister still had the hots for each other -- like I knew all along and they denied it -- and then my sister has the nerve to dump my husband for my ex that was her ex first because he was mad at her for taking said husband the first time!Yeah, Katie. I would have handled it more like you did earlier this year when she overheard Brooke saying she had feelings for Bill. You know, when you attacked her, but now you think Quinn is crazy for feeling the same way about you for kissing on Eric? Yeah, that way.

To make it worse, Brooke and Ridge got engaged this week, but when Bill was compelled to wish her a merry Christmas and stopped upon seeing the ring, all she could do was say she didn't mean for Bill to find out that way -- oh, and R.J. was so happy.

Brooke's excuse to Bill was that she learned she can't always follow her heart. What the hell does that mean, Brooke? Is you is or is you ain't Ridge's baby? Does Ridge need to dig up Stephanie like he did Taylor for you to know what you want? I'm confused.

Bill, however, is not confused at all. His ego took a licking, but it keeps on ticking. He will have Brooke -- just as soon as Ridge tosses her aside again. Let Bill tell it, Brooke might as well get tears tattooed down that left cheek of hers because she'll be crying as long as she's chasing Ridge. This tattoo talk brings a new best and worst category to mind.

Wyatt married a Forrester, and all he has to show for it is that lousy tattoo. No, seriously, that's all he has to show for it. Meanwhile, Katie's sitting over there with fifty million dollars, a jet, crowns, diamonds, and custody of Will. As fast as Bill vacated the house, she probably has all of his mountain-climbing gear, ski boots, shaving cream, nose-hair clippers, and back shaver, too. You know Bill shaves his back. Don't trip. He sits on a toilet, too. Probably made of gold.

Even Deacon was squeezing Eve, I mean Quinn, for money after their divorce; however, Wyatt, who usually tries to get anything he can, isn't interested in money or Steffy's stock. Well, to be fair, Wyatt only wants it if Liam has it or wants it, so Wyatt might not be interested in Steffy's money because Liam isn't.

Wyatt isn't interested in removing that tattoo ring, either. He got a double dose of stubbornness in his genes from Bill and Quinn, and even though Steffy is living with Liam, Wyatt is still hanging onto the marriage. What's even battier, all of Steffy's reasons for the divorce went up in a puff of CEO smoke when Steffy could suddenly tolerate Quinn.

Actually, Steffy apparently could always tolerate Quinn. She was putting up with Quinn at work, even though she'd moved out of Wyatt's house because she couldn't tolerate Quinn -- who did not live in Wyatt's house. Steffy was also showing up at Quinn's house to get in Quinn's face after hours. That's hate working overtime without pay, mind you.

The person's house she never showed up after she moved? Wyatt's. Oh, except the one time to move in and right back out within an hour after she thought she'd gotten her way. One place she never left despite Quinn running it? Forrester.

Wyatt can't do the math, but Quinn and Eric sure can. In Eric's equation, he came up with sixty-two and a half percent, his and Steffy's stock combined. In Quinn's equation, she got Wyatt and Steffy still married, what she'd wanted ever since she summoned enough superhuman strength to put an unconscious Liam into the back of his car and drive off with him.

When Steffy did the math, her answer was, "Wait. Is this a numbers equation or word problem? Because there's numbers and words here."

No, I'm joking. Of course Steffy is just as smart and qualified to be CEO as Rick or Ridge. Hee...hee...She believes that being CEO will position her to help Eric throw out Quinn when the time finally comes, but Steffy doesn't know that Quinn's bonus in the equation is her plan to win Steffy over. It's already working. Now that Steffy got what she wanted, she is even willing to give Quinn the benefit of the doubt about not being as crazy as everyone says.

Say what? To let Steffy tell it up to that point, having Quinn around was like renting a room to Lizzie Borden. Now Quinn might not be as crazy as everyone says?

Steffy, do you not know you just made your six-month-long tantrum completely irrelevant and made yourself look like a complete asshole for chopping up your family, destroying your marriage, and landing Eric in the hospital when you could have just admitted that months ago? And gone ahead and admitted you wanted to go back to Liam without putting us and the rest of L.A. -- and Thomas -- through your mental gymnastics about the mistake you alone made in marrying Wyatt? Just wondering, that's all.

I guess since they are not divorced, we can't technically put Steffy and Wyatt in the running for best or worst divorce. I count Katie's as the best because she has loot coming out of her yoga pants -- loot enough to buy Eric fancy pencils in engraved boxes. Those pencils will be collecting dust as Eric enjoys his outdoor shower. Katie just happened to wander over at that time?

The worst divorce goes to Caroline and Ridge. Where to even start with Caroline and Ridge? It's so heartbreaking. At one time, they'd been a Bryan Adam's song. "I would fight for you. I'd lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I'd die for you..." Next thing you know, "We're getting a divorce. Cool? All right. Thanks for the paint sex. See you again never."

I'm so serious! I do not believe those two shared one scene after they decided to get a divorce! I remember laughing my butt off when Thomas had the nerve to ask Caroline to leave Ridge and be a family with him. Caroline shot him down with a, "Never leaving Ridge -- duh!" reply. Technically, she didn't leave Ridge. He left her with a romantic kiss off in the living room after overhearing her and Thomas behaving like a family.

Has Ridge even said Caroline or Douglas' names since then? Ridge had so much love for Douglas, but he didn't even mention sending a Christmas present to New York for the boy. The way Thorsten Kaye behaved with Douglas has made me unable to accept that Ridge isn't lamenting the connection with the child -- or Caroline.

So are Ridge and Caroline divorced? She left town for a couple months and returned with a Thomas-hook-up agenda, which she apparently accomplished when Sasha gave up without a fight on her budding relationship with Thomas. I was sure that Thomas was going to tell Sasha that he didn't want to stop seeing her, but just like Ridge and Caroline, Thomas and Sasha never said another word to each other.

Thomas was all, "Breakup, huh? Bummer, Dude." And Sasha was all like, "It wasn't like we'd had sex yet, and I can trick you with a baby, so it doesn't even matter." Poof! Tasha was history just that quick. Thomas and Caroline took off for New York after Halloween without telling us a thing about it. We had to learn it in passing from Steffy. While Caroline was back in town, she never visited Ridge with Douglas, either. She said she was going to see Eric in the hospital, but who can believe that liar?

Since it's almost January and Ridge is engaged to Brooke with no talk of waiting for his divorce, Ridge and Caroline must have concluded the matter off-screen, making this the worst divorce, not just of the year, but in years.

If you read my columns, you can't avoid knowing how much I wanted to see Liam and Quinn hook up. Rena Sofer and Scott Clifton have more chemistry than Pam and an oven! When Quinn held Liam captive in the cabin, it was gross and thrilling at the same time. What more could you ask for in daytime drama?

It was gross because Liam is her son's brother and at least half her age. We know how much he despises her, and we knew that if he knew who he was having sex with, he'd choke her in the middle of the act -- and not to get the kinky Quinn off, either -- unless by "off" we mean off the land of the living. Kinky was Wyatt and Steffy having sex while Liam and Quinn were.

Some called Quinn's act rape by fraud. Some disagreed because Liam was willing, and he enjoyed it. I don't know about you, but I have to go on and slide over into the rape by fraud camp. After it happened and Wyatt rescued Liam, it was disappointing that Bill and Wyatt made jokes about Liam having sex with and being emotionally manipulated by Quinn.

Liam likened his imprisonment in the cabin to Eric's marriage to Quinn. Could Liam be right? Does Eric know who he's married to, or is he imprisoned in Quinn's web of lies? Before Quinn started asking Ridge to rate her naked body, I might have disagreed with Liam. But now, I don't know what to think. Did Quinn's time with Liam point her in the direction of good, or is the same, maniacal Quinn still lurking beneath the surface?

The storyline was thrilling for me because I enjoy love/hate storylines, and I expected the writers to toss Liam into a skewed world where he wanted to make love to Quinn one minute and kill her the next. It was a hot and steamy moment when Liam tossed Quinn up against the wall and loomed inches from her face. We didn't know if he'd kiss her or strangle her. He didn't know what he'd do, either, and with his life utterly decimated, it could have been an opportune time to reforge Liam as a character and take a little trip to his more sinister side.

Do it, writers! It's not too late! A dangerous and unpredictable Liam is a thousand times more attractive than the sock-gifting, Tofurkey-baking rescue ranger. It would be a multi-layered story, since Eric has voiced opinions he claimed he heard -- probably the echo in his brain -- that he was too old for Quinn, and she should be with a younger man like Ridge.

Somebody better tell Katie that Eric thinks he's too old for Quinn. If he feels that way, he will probably turn himself in for child molestation if he kisses Katie. Or is age nothing but a number when it comes to those Logan women? So far, Katie is the only uncharted Logan woman in Eric's life. Would he set sail for even younger shores if Quinn does go for Liam or Ridge?

In this Adam and Eve storyline, there were a couple of twists. One, Quinn actually fell in love with Liam and wanted to run away with him. For the first time in her life, she was willing to abandon Wyatt -- for Liam, of all people! That ought to be the lowest point in her life, but she sees is as a pivotal time.

Watching Quinn resist feelings for Liam and slowly fall under the spell that she derided other women for succumbing to took Liam and Quinn to another level of understanding of each other. Liam got to see Quinn's soft and loving side. Quinn actually started wearing pink. It was an incredible metamorphosis. I didn't think it was possible for those two to get to know each other so intimately and then return to being mortal enemies.

To my disappointment, they did. Liam hopped back on the Steffy train as if he'd never shared anything with Quinn. Liam chalked the experience up to lies and manipulation, but for once, I'd like him to contemplate if it really was. I'd like him to battle Quinn, knowing that he is weak and vulnerable to her because he knows that she can love. She can be good -- when she wants to be -- but no one else sees it.

I'd like Quinn to express some jealousy over Steffy and Liam. I want Quinn to want Wyatt and Steffy together, so Quinn can have Liam. But alas, if they did that, how can I have my Queric, the pair that I have grown to love and believe in? Drama! I long for it so much that I'm making it up in my own head.

Some B&B fans won't see this as a plot twist at all because they never thought Thomas took advantage of Caroline in the first place. For me, the law is the law, and if you are too drunk to give consent, well then...it is what the law says it is. The twist comes in because Caroline led Ridge to believe that it was exactly what happened, but when the diaper hit the fan, she was all, "Thomas helped me. He was a friend to me."

Uh-uh. No. Not buying it even if it comes with all the currency in Bill's safe room. Caroline put everything on Ridge. Ridge was the one who insisted that Thomas had done wrong. Ridge was the one who had made her keep quiet. It as if she wasn't desperate to keep the paternity secret or just as creeped out by Thomas as a lot of us were. Caroline turned into another person as far as I'm concerned, and as quickly as she flipped, so did my fan loyalty to her.

I make no secret of despising two characters on this show: Katie and Thomas. And wouldn't you know it; that damn Katie, with her busybody ways, led me to actually feel sorry for Thomas?

Thomas felt like the worst person on the planet for taking advantage of Caroline. He went on an internal journey and changed himself as a result. Then, after he put himself through the mental wringer and started talking about how "changed" he was, he has to learn that the real problem was that Caroline couldn't admit that she would do what she did with him?

Oh, come on, writers. How many times did Caroline have to "forgive" Thomas for what happened? Then she tells him it never happened that way, and she makes Ridge feel like the bad guy for believing her, too? No. That's messed up, and it gives date rape victims a bad name for Caroline to cry wolf like that due to her own ego and make Ridge feel wrong to protect her. The writers were better off just leaving it at "all is forgiven, and at least we have Douglas."

Eric Forrester is the man of the year. Every single good thing his family says about him is true and then some. Just when I wanted to clobber B&B over the head with a candlestick holder, Eric showed up in Quinn's bed, legs waxed and ready for another round of fun.

And we didn't even know about the affair. The subsequently MIA Deacon didn't, either. Where the hell is Deacon? Sleeping with the fishes again? I hope Deacon didn't go the way of Ricardo -- again -- so Eric wouldn't find out that she'd tried to kill Deacon.

Eric, the old dog, still has it in him, and you can teach an old dog new tricks. Pairing the darkest character on the show with the most shining character was ingenious of the writers and is only rivaled by the Liam and Quinn idea. It opened doors for the Eric Forrester character just when I thought the seasoned veterans were fading away.

With Quinn by Eric's side, Eric is set to become the Victor Newman or the Alan Spaulding of the show. I love my Victor, and I love, love, love my Alan Spaulding as played by Ron Raines. Maybe I'm too hopeful. It would be hard to see the evenhanded Eric up to no good as the other two men can be. Victor and Alan smile with love while stabbing family members in the chest.

Victor and Alan have unique weapons against their families, and so does Eric. Eric's power is charm and kindness. The knife doesn't hurt so bad when he's admiring you while tearing you down to rebuild you. The Spauldings and Newmans always want to take the head of the family down, but the idea of disappointing Eric cripples the Forresters.

If Marone blood makes one immune to Eric's charm, Eric will just outwit, outplay, and outlast as he did when he gave his power of attorney to Quinn and put Quinn in charge as interim CEO over Ridge. Whether it's a fashion competition or cunningly selecting Steffy as CEO, Eric always has something up his sleeve. It's to his advantage that his family thinks he's old and fragile. Underestimating him and thinking they have to protect him are their worst mistakes.

Eric didn't pair himself with Quinn due to manipulation, and his family would be wise to remember who he's been married to over the years. Shiela might have been the embodiment of evil, but Stephanie? She was worse because she was sane, unlike Sheila. Any man who could handle Stephanie is no delicate flower. She was everything they accuse Quinn of being and then some, which is why I get upset at any comparison of Steffy to her grandmother.

Oh, no. Steffy doesn't have the balls to be like her grandmother. She wishes she knew how to hand out vengeance and kindness and defeat her enemy before her enemy even knows they are opponents. If Steffy were like Stephanie, Quinn would have run herself out of town before going up against Steffy. I do have to wonder how Stephanie would deal with kissy, huggy, visity Katie if Stephanie were in Quinn's shoes. Tea, anyone?

If it's all about the woman behind the man, then Eric has selected wisely in the ride-or-die Quinn Forrester. Liam can thank himself for making it all possible as he broods over his falling-out with Eric. If Liam had any sense, he would have turned on Eric first for playing grandfather to Liam on the Monaco trip while knowing all along that he'd been sleeping with Liam's enemy.

But that's the Eric Forrester spell I'm talking about. No one can stay mad at Eric. No one ever blames Eric, even though he knows full well what he's doing. The proof of it was this week when Liam was all up in his feelings because he can apparently express his feelings about Eric and Quinn, but he gets all butt-hurt if Eric says what he thinks about Liam and Steffy.

Liam boycotted Christmas at Eric's, but one call from the "doddering old granddad" to Steffy, and guess who gave in? Liam. He took her straight over to the mansion for carols and grinned like a petted dog when Eric said he was glad Steffy and Liam were both there.

I look forward to what Eric will be up to next year. He's fast becoming the reason I tune in. Thank you, John McCook, for everything you put into Eric Forrester. Your portrayal of him is just as poignant to me as Raines's of Alan Spaulding, may my Alan rest in peace.

Zende, you're young. Since Carter disappeared on you, it's easy to say you lack guidance, but even a criminal knows it's stupid to hit the same house twice! Zende had good reason to be upset with Nicole agreeing to a second surrogacy. Like I said, it's stupid to hit the same house twice, Rick, Nicole, and Maya. Duh. But to fall into bed with Sasha again? The woman who faked a toilet pregnancy on him? Dumb-dumb award goes to Zende.

Not only did Zende risk any hope of reuniting with Nicole -- which they are known to make up eventually -- Zende risked another pregnancy stick scandal by having sex with Sasha while he was drunk and half asleep. Can he blame it on the alcohol? No. Was he "raped" like Caroline? No. He wasn't that out of it and too dumb to pretend to be like Caroline apparently did.

Zende's the worst for sleeping with Sasha again, not only because of the above reasons, but also because he knows he's once again playing with Sasha's feelings as if she isn't a real person. Just because someone offers you the pudding pop doesn't mean you have to take it, Zende. He's also the worst for thinking that an engagement will solve his proclivity for infidelity whenever he doesn't get his way.

Thank goodness Nicole has the good sense to turn him down. We had three divorces this year already. What Zende needs to do is have a sit-down with Charlie and learn how to make a relationship last without bothering with a ring.

You know I'm gonna say Katie. You already know it, so why do I even have to write anything here? You have read it all this past year because I ride Katie like Brooke rides Bill. No brakes! And if I wasn't going to say Katie by some miracle, then you can best believe it's gonna be Steffy. I loathe the ground Steffy slithers on, and this so-called vulnerable Steffy they gave us this year is full of horse pucky! You can't bitch-slap enemies to the ground and then claim fear of them. Sorry. Doesn't work that way.

Katie is the worst woman of the year for making her own worst fears come true by accusing Bill and Brooke of carrying on together until Bill just started doing it. She's the worst for putting Brooke in Bill's orbit to test his loyalty. She's also the worst for threatening Ridge and Caroline about the sperm doctor just for attention. Katie was a busy one this year, and she's equally the worst for constantly showing up to Eric's house as a "friend."

With friends like Katie, who needs mistresses? Got you some wine, Eric. Giggle, giggle. I'm sure Eric will have lots of kind things to say at Katie's funeral if Quinn's candlestick holder ever meets Katie's cranium in real life.

Why do I loathe Steffy? The answer would take up three columns. The worst thing Steffy did this year for me was to lie to Wyatt about the true reasons their marriage was over. She used him like toilet paper against Quinn's crap, and Wyatt didn't deserve for Steffy to move out on him just because he can't control his mother. Wyatt gets the sap of the year award for still begging in behind Steffy while she's removing her tattoo ring and cuddling up to Liam every night.

I still have yet to understand what Quinn did to Steffy besides make her think Liam didn't want her. Everything Steffy did after that was on Steffy. Steffy unleashed more violence this year, just like she did in 2015, by ripping off Quinn's moustache, slapping Quinn, and tackling Quinn in the courtyard while in Monaco. While I'm at it, I have yet to understand why Wyatt wants Steffy or why Quinn wants Wyatt to have Steffy. That girl is no prize.

You might notice that there is no best woman of the year. That's because there isn't one, in my eyes. Quinn would get most changed in my book, if she didn't have that Katie murder fantasy and start flirting with grunge Ridge, but now I have to question what's really going on in Quinn's head. Brooke blew her chance at woman of the year when she stood up there and tried to use Ridge's secret to Rick's advantage.

Maya doubly blew it when she asked Nicole to pop out another puppy, and the first one isn't even housebroken yet. Maybe Vivienne deserves it for her willingness to forgive and move forward with Julius.

The brat of the year award goes to Rick Forrester, who fell for Ridge's portrait scam and wound up losing the mansion in the process. Ridge put Stephanie's portrait back in the living room at the mansion because he was entertaining long-standing business clients at the house, and he thought they'd appreciate seeing Stephanie's portrait, not Maya's, on the wall.

Rick pitched a fit that Thorne probably heard all the way in Paris. Maya kept telling her husband that it wasn't a big deal, but Ricky boy refused to live at the house until Maya's portrait was back on the wall -- and he's been living with mommy ever since.

The trip of it is, Ridge apparently lives with Brooke, too, now, and when Ridge declined Eric's caroling invitation, Ridge said it was because Maya and Rick "were over." As in visiting, I take it. As if they don't live there, Ridge? Rick better watch out before he loses another house. That's all I'm saying.

Hats off to Jacob Young for giving us a multi-layered Rick Forrester. Rick's an evil CEO one minute, a bratty boy the next minute. He's a proud father, a good husband, and a son-of-bitch if you catch him on a bad day.

And Jacob Young flashed the cutest smile when the family filled Eric's doorway on Christmas day. Yes, I have a crush on Jacob Young. It's true. It's also true that every single one of them was cute and huggable when they posed in that doorframe. It was the thing Christmas cards are made of. Even Steffy was cute, doing her charades chicken dance thingy in the montage.

I have to say, we have a hell of a handsome and talented cast. They work hard to bring us the drama that we love, and even the storylines that we hate. I thank them all, especially Heather Tom and Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, because it's their acting that evokes emotion from me.

I used to hate the air Stephanie Forrester breathed, but I cried like a baby when she died. Same for Katie and Steffy. Things probably wouldn't be the same if they died, so let them live on so I can hate them. And let Steffy and Katie give me those moments when I find a spark of love and agreement with them, as they manage to do from time-to-time.

Thank you, Pierson Fod. It's hard to hate Thomas with such a handsome face, but you delivered his slimy side well. You also made me finally believe that maybe Thomas didn't mean to take advantage of Caroline -- maybe.

Don Diamont showed us Bill's strength and commitment and his battle to remain committed to an alcoholic, and possibly bipolar, wife. Bill would reject it, but I felt pity for him, and I really couldn't blame him for his final choice. Living with Katie's behavior day-in and day-out would drive any sane person away. Heather Tom delivered on the wife-unhinged side of the plot. Who could ever forget her picking up the broken glass and drinking what alcohol was left it in it or the liquor hidden in the granola bars box?

Thank you, Scoopers, for returning week after week to get the scoop on what we think about all the B&B madness. Mike and I do it for you and for the love of B&B. Check in next week for Mike's best and worst picks, and put your own picks in the comments below. If you're thinking about ducking out on Christmas dinner this year, your reasons had better be bold and beautiful, baby!

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