This town ain't big enough

Los Angeles isn't big enough for the residents and the truth. With truths exposed, just about everyone has got to go, but only Caroline had the foresight to get hell out of dodge. While Caroline chilled in the Hamptons, Julius told Sasha to book that midnight train to anywhere but Nicole's world. Wyatt tossed Quinn's clothes into a to-go box, but Eric delivered her back into his life and Forrester. Bill ordered Katie a nonstop ticket to Divorceville, but Katie asked for a stock upgrade and first class view of Bill's chagrin. Let's dish on who came, who went, and who needs to go this week on the Bold and the Beautiful.

The best part of The Bold and the Beautiful this week had to be the questioning looks on Rick's face when he was the last to know about Eric's relationship with Quinn. I feel him because I was looking the same way at the beginning of the week when Caroline announced to Thomas that she and Douglas were off to the Hamptons to stay with her mothers for an unspecified amount of time. Thomas was shocked, too, and viewers probably didn't see it coming, either.

Surely the speedy truth revelation, quickie divorce summit, and Ridge-blame conviction were all leading to one place -- Carmas! It was all set. Thomas had taken over the child and the love nest, and everyone was free to view Ridge's head on a silver platter. What happened instead?

Caroline unceremoniously sat down with Thomas at the mansion to discuss the divorce and the impending paternity announcement. As Thomas worried about how it would affect them, Caroline interjected, "Well, I'm not gonna be around. Oh -- didn't I tell you? Yeah. I'm so outta here. That goes double for Dougie," Caroline decided. "I can take him, right? I mean, I mean, I am his lunchbox and all."

Thomas can put Ridge and Caroline's body paint back into the loft's storage along with that bassinet basket Ridge bought but never used. Thomas can tuck away the baby monitor, too, because it won't reach the Hamptons, where Caroline and Douglas will be until who knows when.

It's funny. Thomas thought Ridge was the one stealing Thomas' baby. As it has been all along, Caroline is in control of all things Douglas. Thomas can say goodbye to many more firsts with his son, and instead of traveling from Shanghai to visit the boy, Thomas will be taking the jet across the country if he wants to see Douglas. "I mean, you guys can video chat. It'll be like we never left," Caroline reasoned.

And Thomas thought Douglas would be confused to live in a house with grandpa and mommy. Now Douglas is in a house with two grandmas and mommy but no daddy or granddaddy. Who's gonna explain to the five-month-old what's going on? I'm sure Dani and Karen can't wait to spoil him, but is uprooting Douglas what's best for the child? You know, because Thomas has acted all along as if things that happen to Douglas now will scar him for life and all.

Turns out, there is no scandal. Eric returned with the Rydell High gang, and in a meeting, he commended Ridge for dispelling any scandal and protecting Caroline by having an off-camera sit-down with Thomas and some unknown entity. Poof! The truth is out, and no scandal will be had by any, leaving me with that confused-Rick look on my face.

Here's my confusion. Why did we have to sit through that one-year baby plot? What was the point? Where is the payoff? Why did Eric have to become the self-appointed CEO that not a single stockowner disputed if Ridge handled it so beautifully?

Why is Eric CEO at all? Ridge is apparently still running the company while Eric mans Quinn's bed and Steffy bounces between the protective arms of two Spencer men. Rick apparently isn't running anything because he's as clueless as Lizzie when she wonders what's going on when she's wet below her belly button.

Did fatherhood make Rick so clueless? When it was just him and Maya, Rick had plenty of time to keep tabs on Ridge's comings and goings and whether or not Ridge was taking meetings and phone calls without him. We have not heard so much as a gun cock out of Rick about Eric.

In Rick's world, Rick had a family event this week, and the only family member he invited was Zende! Brooke wasn't even there -- and it was at her house! No Katie, no Pam, no Thomas, no call from Bridget, nothing. I didn't expect Ridge to receive an engraved invitation, but the Logans are falling off, aren't they?

Brooke's kitchen was stuffed to the brim with food and Avants, and Viv told Rick to thank Brooke for setting it all up -- when Brooke got back. Where the heck was Brooke? I hope visiting R.J. somewhere, because she and Ridge vowed to focus on family. How are you going to vow to focus on family one week and be absent at your grandchild's christening the next week?

Um, um, um, Brooke. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I can't think of a better time to go to Katie with an invitation and outstretched family hand than for Lizzie's christening. Yet Julius says that Sasha was only invited out of obligation. Obviously, that's a damn lie or else Rick's "brother" would have gotten that engraved invitation.

Yeah, did you catch that? Rick called Ridge "brother" this week. I about fell out of my chair! I'm convinced that the diaper fumes have gone to Rick's head. Maybe they got to Brooke' head, too, for that matter. It would explain why she forgot she's a mother, a grandmother, and a Forrester executive. What else could explain how she was "gone" for the christening but working at Forrester the next day -- but not at the Forrester meetings at the end of the week?

Bill's incessant and mind-numbing begging could be to blame, too. Who can conduct a meaningful life when Bill is dead set on you or against you? Brooke giggled to herself when Ridge surmised that she'd just ended a call with whom else but Spencer. My guess was she found Bill's pursuit flattering. Ridge loved that giggle. Hint, hint...

Ridge filled Brooke in on Eric's situation with Quinn. Brooke couldn't believe it, but Ridge said psychotic and beautiful was Eric's type. "Hey!" Brooke replied, and Ridge said, "Not always." Ridge was miffed that he might have lost his job because of Quinn, and he planned to put a stop to all that Quinn-in-Eric's-ear nonsense with some simple stock mathematics and Katie.

Meanwhile, Bill was in his office with Justin and Katie. Bill is dead set on Brooke but dead set against Katie. Maybe that's a bit dramatic. He does want to be civil with Katie -- and to end the marriage pronto. For that, he's willing to give Katie the house, access to some property -- with his consent -- and fifty million dollars...Pinky to his lip like Dr. Evil.

While it's fifty times what Dr. Evil wanted, is it really enough coming from a man who is supposed to be one of the richest men in America? I don't know. I need you guys to tell me if you'd be happy with it if you were in the process of becoming Bill's ex-wife.

Katie turned her nose up at everything, even the papers the offer was written on. She was sure Bill wanted to hurry the divorce along "to get his ass back to Brooke," as Eric would put it. Katie sniped about how she could invest in Liam's charity because God knew Bill wouldn't. Bitter much, Katie? I'm with Bill, just sign the damn papers already! Katie quibbled and sneered long enough to avoid signing and left because Ridge called her to drop everything to meet with him.

Katie jumped out of the Bill and Brooke fire and into the Ridge and Brooke frying pan when she learned that Ridge wanted her divorce settlement to include Bill's stock in Forrester. Part of Katie wanted to take Bill to the cleaners, but she didn't want Will to read all about an ugly divorce. She took responsibility for her drinking -- thank God, finally -- saying that no one poured alcohol down her throat. She just wanted out of it, so Bill wins.

Brooke had no idea that Ridge was about to ask Katie to garner Bill's Forrester shares, but Ridge asked for it to help "us" secure Forrester's future due to Eric's new relationship with Quinn. "Who is 'us?'" Katie asked. Ridge said it was he, Katie, and Brooke. Katie frowned.

Ridge was ready to take it all the way to court, and he said that he and Brooke would testify on Katie's behalf in order to win. What is Ridge thinking to volunteer or trust Brooke's help? As Chanel Oberlin would say, it's "obvi" that the Slut From the Valley can't be trusted. Didn't she just use his secret to get something for Rick and keep Bill's secret from Katie?

Brooke didn't tell Ridge or Katie that Bill was texting her during their meeting, either. As Katie tried to see what was in Ridge's offer for her, Bill texted Brooke again, saying that she didn't need to have an opinion about it -- just let it be. Trust me when I say that Bill did not want Brooke involved, making it worse for him like she seems to manage to do lately.

Ridge asked what Brooke was doing on her phone. "Does this conversation even involve me?" Brooke asked.

"Duh, yes, you dumb slut! I know it's hard because no man has paid attention to you for centuries, but use your tiny whore brain to get off the phone and pay attention to something else other than your dried-up sex life!" Chanel Oberlin would probably screech. Yes, I am addicted to Scream Queens, and this show could use a Chanel Oberlin, who'd eat Steffy like cotton balls and slam Quinn's face in a deep fryer. She'd stab Wyatt in the eye for violating her "closet vage," too.

Katie was ready to listen when she realized Bill was texting Brooke, but Katie didn't want to be a part of ousting Eric. Katie also didn't believe Brooke would back Katie if it came to a court battle with Bill as Ridge kept saying. Y'all know I love Brooke, but...Katie might have a point.

Brooke was oddly silent on whether she'd testify that Bill tried to get her sleep with him behind Katie's back, and when Bill invaded the conversation, Brooke told the couple to leave her out of it -- and to grow up already. Brooke was still on that Spencer reunion pedestal, but Katie knocked her right off it, saying it wasn't possible at that point.

Katie decided that she wanted Bill's twelve-and-a-half, and she didn't mean his shoes. Will she get Bill's stock, and is it the key to saving Forrester from a doddering old fool in love? I might as well add senile because what else do you call it when Eric forgets that the company gets to regulate the CEO's morality and leadership?

In Eric's first meeting back in town, Eric discussed Ridge's personal life and how Caroline probably should lay low in New York for a while. Ridge thought Rick and Pam would want to hear about Eric's trip. "This meeting is about business, not my personal life," Eric replied.

Say whaaaat...? Ridge's personal life is business, I guess, but the new CEO's personal life isn't. Pam, Ridge, Steffy, Thomas, and Rick wanted to discuss Eric's connection to the wackadoodle, but Eric roared that he was the CEO and would not have his personal life pulled apart or judged in that office.

How about a knee to the balls? Is that still permissible in that office?

Rick was completely distraught after Eric stormed out, so much so that he didn't even think to run off to tell Brooke or Maya what was going on. Instead, he said to Ridge, "If you got some ideas, brother, why don't you spit them out?" Nothing pulls a family together like a renegade patriarch.

I gotta say, I'm loving this. Eric and Quinn's romance has almost the entire cast involved. We saw more characters this week than we have in a while. I love that it affects the Spencers as well as the Forresters, and it affects the business for real -- not that fake scare like Douglas' paternity.

While the Forresters worry about what Eric will do, Bill had a coffee-spitting moment upon learning about the new "not it" couple. Why Bill's paparazzi weren't on that boardwalk in Monte Carlo, getting the reunion footage of Forrester's new CEO and Quinn, I do not know. This romance is about to hit Bill in the pocket if Ridge has something to say about it.

Meanwhile, Liam's still begging to be Steffy's rescue ranger while Wyatt has gone from throwing mama on the plane to throwing mama's clothes on the bed. Wyatt wants Quinn to get out of town before he loses his marriage, and he's her new packer extraordinaire. Maybe he and Julius can set Sasha and Quinn up as roomies in Shanghai.

Wyatt was all talk and no plane ticket. He left, and as Quinn put away her clothes, she probably noticed a sexy brown dress she'd forgotten about. She wore it to Forrester when Eric announced her return to his life -- and the business. Quinn and Eric have had enough of their families treating them like middle-schoolers. Trusting the instincts that have guided Eric for years, from one evil woman to the next slutty one, Eric told Quinn that they were just beginning.

As for Thomas, he'd exhausted his brain cells at the meeting and went to work out. He missed Eric's announcement that the jewelry line was back with Quinn at the helm. Thomas got flirty with Sasha and then later overheard Julius rip her apart like Ridge had done to Thomas' designs. Thomas decided the belittling was enough, and Julius had to go.

Sasha and Thomas bonded this week while she was in a fitting. He was tailoring gowns to her form, not lingerie, which she's the head model for. Thomas opened up a little about Caroline and Douglas in what might have been his first conversation with anyone about it outside the principal parties. Thomas is a pretty private guy for a player.

Thomas explained that it had been one "interesting night" when Douglas was conceived, and he and Caroline were still working things out. Sasha asked Thomas to promise that Douglas would never know anything other than his father's love, no matter how it turned out with Caroline.

Thomas gave Sasha his assurances about Douglas and learned that Julius had rejected her since she'd been born. He saw the treatment firsthand when he heard Julius telling Sasha that not only was she responsible for his marriage problems, but he couldn't solve those problems if Sasha was always hanging around, in Viv's face as a reminder.

Julius said it was Nicole's world, and Sasha was just a squirrel, trying to get a nut. Little did he know that, thanks to him, she just landed herself the biggest nut in the Forrester family, psychologically speaking, that is.

When Thomas stood up for Sasha, Julius politely told him to mind his own business. Everyone knows Thomas doesn't do that very well. His specialty is minding the business of women in distress. He's not a rescue ranger -- more like a rescue stalker, hoping to turn a woman's emotional distress into true love.

This time, though, Thomas might have the right woman. Sasha is single and firmly on Zende's curb with little to no hope for a rekindled romance -- if Zende isn't the type to hate seeing his ex with another man. BFF Deacon has no issue with it, we know, and I do wonder how Eric will respond to the idea that Quinn and Deacon are a package deal.

I like Quinn and Eric, and I think I might like Thomas and Sasha. I really like that Thomas wasn't afraid to tell Julius where to go and what to do -- and Julius did it. It was so much better than hearing Thomas whine helplessly about how someone had wronged him. If he keeps this up, I might not mind his sockless shoes, polka-dotted shirts, and tidal wave hairdo.

The problem is, Caroline said this week that she was "open" to the future. My guess is that she'll return home, ready to be with Thomas. Sasha told Thomas this week to love Douglas no matter how things turned out with Caroline. Will Sasha let things turn out well for Thomas and Caroline for Douglas' sake, or will there be a toilet pregnancy test in Thomas' future?

How is Julius going to handle it when he finds out that Sasha has a Forrester man of her own now? Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. After all, things with Thomas turn on a dime. One thing is for sure. The "thank you" kiss Sasha laid on Thomas just made it a whole lot harder for Julius to get rid of his "mistake."

Meanwhile, Eric is certain he made no mistake at all, and Quinn is there to stay. Can Ridge pull the stock rabbit out of the hat and leverage it to keep Quinn out of Forrester? If he can, how is it going to keep Quinn out of the family? The answer is -- it won't. I don't understand how anyone from Liam, to Wyatt, to Steffy, to Ridge think that they can put a stop to this "bad romance" or put a stop to Quinn's wrath if they succeed.

Ridge visited Quinn and told her that he was his mother's son and would be the same sword and shield to protect his family. The Forrester family is sorely missing a real matriarch since Stephanie's departure from "Nicole's world," but, finally, after much flailing around to find his place, Ridge seems to be emerging as the patriarch.

Which brings me to my "Summer of Swaps" question this week: Was Thorsten Kaye the right man for the job to play Ridge Forrester after Ronn Moss left the show?

B&B Summer Swap: Ridge Forrester and the Scream Queen

Since 2012, fans have hotly debated the character of Ridge Forrester, the reasons Ronn Moss left, whether Thorsten Kaye could be the leading man, and if he fit as a dressmaker, of all things. Kaye is most-widely known for portraying Zach Slater on AMC. Personally, I fell in love the moment I saw him on that soap -- and became committed when I heard his voice.

I love the dark, silent type. Other viewers, however, have said that he's too grungy to play the scarf-wearing, clean-cut Ridge Forrester, who still looked immaculate even on Ronn Moss's most long-haired and scruffy days. Did I think Thorsten Kaye could actually be Ridge Forrester?

After I recovered from the devastation of losing Ronn Moss, who'd been my leading man for at least twenty-five years, I thought of actors who could pull off the role. My first thought was the chiseled-faced Grant Alexander, who'd played Phillip Spaulding. When Kaye got the role, I was intrigued but skeptical. I became worried that Ridge would soon be written off the show entirely.

I also wondered who Ridge would even be without Stephanie dictating his life. Ridge had spent many years silently roving his eyes between three women: Stephanie, Brooke, and Taylor with three lines that went "Doc...," "Logan...," and "Mother..." Oh, and a fourth, "What's going on here?" Ronn Moss always put the word "here" at the end of his lines.

It's been three years since Thorsten Kaye pulled up in that Tesla, dropped rose petals down Brooke's fountain, and declared that the prodigal son had returned. Do I miss Ronn Moss? All the time. Ronn's my Ridge heart. Do I love Kaye's Ridge remade? Entirely.

The best thing about Kaye's reprisal of Ridge is that it ended the decades-long Bridge vs. Tridge debate. If Ridge wasn't Ronn Moss, no one cared about those supercouples anymore. It also set Ridge up for the next phase of his life -- being without Stephanie. I was worried about the character when he emerged as a poet and a recluse, but the writers steadily built upon this foundation to solidify a passion within Ridge for something more than the next romance triangle or takeover.

With his character reborn, Ridge needs a new leading lady, and the family needs a matriarch. Wishy-washy Brooke isn't worth a damn, so I vote for Sream Queen's Chanel Oberlin, played by Emma Roberts. Ridge likes younger women, and this one is as mean as Stephanie, as vain as Caroline, as self-righteous as Taylor, and as beautiful as Brooke. And Chanel doesn't mind stepping over a few dead bodies to get what she wants.

Just imagine. Chanel Oberlin makes Maya, Sasha, Steffy, Nicole, and Pam into her Chanels two through six. Forrester would never be the same after the whole fashion house becomes Chanel's closet vage. At least we'd have a snob who appreciates couture, takes shameless pleasure in her bitchiness, and would chain Quinn to the bottom of a pool to solve the family problem.

Then of course, we'd need Niecy Nash to join the cast as Scream Queen's security guard crossover, Denise Hempfield, to take Charlie to the next level of crime fighting and do everything but solve Quinn's murder. Denise is one bad bitch that can give Quinn a run for her money in Eric's life, but then again, she likes younger men, so maybe she can show Wyatt or Liam how to cock a gun the right way.

For now, Ridge is single, and with no blonde brats like Chanel on the horizon, he's focused on Forrester. Eric is "obvi" not out to pasture, but because he has won the big green CEO chair, the battle for the patriarch seat has begun.

Here are some of your thoughts from our message boards this week:

• SMH at the volume of food that shows up at parties....and hearing comments about how full the guests are while there are multiple trays of edibles that appear totally untouched. -- Redheadteacher

• SMH [at] Brooke's incredulity of Eric's inappropriate relationship. Didn't she write a book on those? -- Booknerd

• Loveeeeeeeeeeeeee: TASHA and QUERIC. These are good with me. Now I have something to root for. -- Wildbee

Yeah, Redheadteacher, what happened to Dayzee's or the Skidrow foodbank?

In other interesting tidbits, while it's ironic that non-blood seems to be thicker than Quinn when it comes to Ridge and Rick, it's also ironic that Thomas, who "did something wrong" to Caroline and who constantly disrespected his father, is the one to point out the error of Julius' ways to him. Does the Bible say something about first removing a stick from your own eye?

Oh, what am I thinking? Thomas isn't religious. His son didn't even have a christening. Which leads to the next ironic point: Maya and Rick did have a christening -- even though Maya had seemingly been scarred by her religious upbringing. Does Evil Rick even know what a Bible is? Maybe that's why Brooke wasn't at the event -- it meant the blonde witch had to enter a church.

Eric is happy with the designs -- which look like returns off a Sears rack. Quinn's jewelry, on the other hand, looks good. Did you see the bracelet in the Monaco pier flashback? Loved it.

Wyatt tells Liam that when Wyatt looks for his wife, he doesn't want to find her in Liam's arms. That's funny because when Liam looks for his fiance, he doesn't want to find her in his bed in Wyatt's arms. And isn't in Liam's arms where Wyatt first finds all his new loves?

Speaking of finding things, Wyatt should call himself lucky that the only things he found in Quinn's dresser were clothes, know what I mean? This is kinky Quinn we're talking about.

Until we scoop again, may your offspring never resort to having you followed or to bugging your phones, and if you catch jungle fever, do not do so while wearing a jungle-themed workout getup. Yes, I said it. Stay bold and beautiful, baby!

This article has been updated to reflect Thorsten Kaye's time on The Bold and the Beautiful

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