Throw mama on the plane

In Los Angeles, the smog lifted, but across the world, Steffy's vampire energy sucked the romance out of Monte Carlo. It was the Hulk cry heard round the world when Steffy confronted Quinn about preying on Steffy's helpless, lonely grandfather. But, like Global Warming, is the threat of Quinn merely hype, or can Quinn really implode the Forrester and Spencer dynasties? Turn up your pinkies and sip the tea as we scoop on Quinn, the biggest global threat to life as Steffy knows it.

Surprise, Scoopers, I'm back to fill in for Mike this week. I'll bet you're not as surprised to hear from me again so soon as Wyatt was surprised to see Quinn creep in through his hotel balcony in Monte Carlo. Quinn can't stop the prowling, even on vacation. At least she was on vacation until Steffy hunted her down, tackled her, and rubbed her nose in the grass just inches from the end zone.

Wyatt can cross that mini-honeymoon he asked Steffy for right off the to-do list -- unless he wants to take it on Mount Doom. If Liam gets his way, "the one tattoo to rule them all" will wind up in the fiery depths of Mordor. Steffy might lose a finger like Frodo did, because I do have a feeling that Liam would gnaw her finger to the nub to remove the mark of the beast from her.

That's the thing about tattoos. They're so permanent. If only marriages would be that way, right? Married today, moved out tomorrow. That seems to be Liam's motto about it. If anyone knows how to rid themselves of a marriage, it's Liam, and he learned it from dealing with the albatross of a mountain wedding to Steffy, who takes commitment seriously.

Unless...

Well, unless they are inconvenient commitments or ones Steffy disapproves of like Ridge's commitment to Brooke, Liam's commitment to Hope, or Bill's commitment to Katie. Maybe Steffy was onto something with those commitments, and Liam is onto something with hers to Wyatt. Does she really want to spend a lifetime crying and looking for Quinn behind every rock, tree, and floppy hat for the rest of her life?

It's not like Steffy didn't have a long record of Quinn's misdeeds that stemmed back further than Liam's kidnapping and prior to the wedding. As I recall, when Steffy had returned to L.A., she'd said she'd spent time with Hope in Milan. If time and/or conversations with Hope, fresh off a miscarriage and a trip down the steps, didn't scare Steffy off Wyatt and Quinn, nothing could.

If Hope didn't tell Steffy all about it, Steffy had to have known Quinn geeked Ridge to go off half-cocked to the Middle East. Somebody between Hope, Liam, Ivy, and Wyatt had to have told Steffy about the sword incident with a hobbled Liam, the bridge in Paris, and the elevator and steam room lock-ins. Steffy cannot say that Wyatt didn't come with a mother-in-law warning label.

Warning: This marriages comes with mother-in-law side effects that could include: lies, manipulation, constant interference, stalking, miscarriages, and attempted murder. Marry at your own risk and see a psychiatrist or police officer if symptoms worsen.

Steffy married Wyatt at her own risk, and now she expects Eric and Wyatt to join her and Liam's class-action ban on Quinn. Is it fair that Steffy married Wyatt for better or worse but then says she didn't sign up for Quinn? Is there such a thing in Steffy's case as -- according to Liam -- marrying under deception? What case could one make for it if Steffy knew pre-engagement what Quinn was capable of when it came to anyone in the way of Wyatt's happiness?

A person can't pick the mother-in-law -- just ask Brooke, who had the mother of all mothers-in-law, Stephanie Douglas Forrester. Until Quinn strangles Steffy, pulls a gun on her, holds a butcher knife to her throat, tries to drown her, takes her kids, or invites her to a rape, fakes heart conditions, and falsifies letters, Steffy's not doing too bad in the mother-in-law department.

Some of the above happened when Stephanie was Brooke's ex-mother-in-law, so if Steffy and Liam think divorce papers will solve the problem, they have another thing coming -- especially if Steffy winds up missing her cycle soon -- and I don't mean motorcycle.

Moses created divorce for a reason, and California made a good thing even better by offering the no-fault divorce clause. There's still the matter of that pesky six-month waiting period though. Rick waited it out to divorce Caroline, but if Steffy chooses to leave Wyatt next week, there will probably be some convenient six-month-waiting-period loophole. It'll be one Steffy can use, but not Bill, Katie, Ridge, or Caroline. Wow. Is everyone getting divorced? What's in the water?

This weekend ended with Liam demanding that Steffy toss her ridiculous marriage aside to let him love and protect her as Wyatt wouldn't. Liam didn't say "couldn't." He said "wouldn't." It begs the questions of whether it is true that Wyatt "won't" and if anyone is able to protect anyone from Quinn.

Whether Steffy is with Liam or she isn't, it wouldn't change the situation if Eric and Quinn continue to see each other. I take that back. Quinn will go from the mother-in-law from hell to the grandmother-in-law from hell. But that's about it. What does Liam think he can do that Wyatt isn't already doing? Liam proved time and time again that when it comes to Quinn, he's impotent -- except at the cabin, but that's another matter.

After every single thing Quinn has done to Liam from the sword incident to kidnapping him, Liam has let her out of it, just like Wyatt has. Someone please tell me what separates Liam's inaction from Wyatt's. Steffy said Quinn should be in jail over the kidnapping. "Yeah," Liam responded. "Yeah" is right, and Liam had the power to press charges; however, he listened to that non-criminal attorney Justin and didn't even try a civil lawsuit for pain and suffering.

By the way Steffy ran Quinn down, shoved her to the ground, and then smacked her to the ground, I don't think Steffy needs protection from Quinn right now. Quinn might need it from Steffy because that slap apparently didn't knock the good sense the devil gave Quinn back into her to make her drag Steffy in front of a moving truck for that slap.

Quinn has indeed changed, because the old Quinn would have stayed in Monte Carlo and dealt with Steffy after that slap. "Oh, you want to smack people to the ground? Now I gotta cut ya!" as Della Reese's character from Harlem Nights might say.

It all started when Steffy was cheesing at Eric, who was outside the hotel, kissing a stranger beneath a big, black hat. Steffy had just come off a photo shoot, and Wyatt had just called all kinds of attention to her by yelling, "Is that Steffy Forrester?" He went into the hotel and was having round five thousand with Liam, this time about Quinn.

Eric's car drove off, and Steffy approached the mystery woman. The mystery woman took off running, Steffy was waylaid by fans as she chased the mystery woman in something that looked like a scene from Benny Hill . It was all fun and games until Steffy shoved the mystery woman to the ground, ripped off her hat, and Quinn stared back up at her from the grass.

What in the hell is the matter with Steffy? No, seriously. What the hell is up with the president of Forrester Creations chasing a stranger associated with her grandfather through the streets of a foreign country while hosting a conference and being the face of Spencer?

This is just the kind of thing that Liam was so upset with Steffy about before he accidentally took off for Australia. Steffy always runs on impulse over brains. Look at it from the mystery woman's view. The mystery woman could have met Eric in the hotel lobby the other night. Steffy doesn't know this woman from Eve, but she decides to chase her and shove her down just because she doesn't want to talk to Steffy?

Let's look at it from Spencer Publications' point of view. Their "it" girl, who is getting the most attention of anyone in Monte Carlo right now, is in public, chasing down people, smacking them down, and screaming at them. The question isn't how many "fans" got video of the whole thing. The question is how many memes of it were created before Steffy even got back inside the hotel?

First off, people know Steffy, not Quinn. They aren't saying, "Oh, that's just Quinn Fuller. She deserves to be chased, cornered, and smacked down in the streets." Second, people don't always "follow" you on social media because they love you. Sometimes, they are the competition, and sometimes, they do it because they are waiting for the chance to make fun of you.

Instead of sitting alone in his hotel room, Wyatt ought to be checking how many hits #HulkSteffy or #Steffyslapabitch just got. In fact, I think I'm gonna make a meme of Steffy with Hulk-green skin later on tonight.

The moment Steffy started chasing this stranger, Wyatt's phone should have blown up, and he should have checked into why Steffy had trended to the top of social media and the international terror watch list. Yes, I'm exaggerating about the terror watch, but I do it to belabor the point that Steffy was in a foreign city with a huge convention going on and mindlessly chasing down a stranger in the street. She was hosting the greatest minds in media, but no one was filming, watching, photographing, or witnessing what she did. Give me a break, B&B writers!

Steffy's clothes didn't split, but she rendered Quinn the best David Banner transformation glare I ever did see! Bill Bixby would be proud of Jacqueline MacInnes Wood. Wood brings an insane energy to Steffy's anger. I can only imagine how much vampire energy drain it had to be on the actress, but she electrified the screen with her performance. My viewing tablet was buzzing like Ivy on the circuit board.

The energy didn't stop there. Steffy carried that vampire drain straight to Eric and then to Wyatt. Wyatt's nose flared, and his eyebrows peaked almost to his hairline with frustration. Steffy had his hair standing on end and was screaming so loud that I thought he'd go deaf. I almost expected him to slap the hysteria right out of her to calm her down and shut her the hell up. And all this carrying on was after she'd already unleashed on Eric!Steffy was itching worse than a crack addict over Quinn being in love with Steffy's poor, sweet old grandfather. In fact, somehow, everyone thinks Quinn is taking advantage of Eric. Steffy tells Eric he doesn't know what he's doing, and Quinn is dangerous unlike any woman he's ever known. Check the old family photos, honey. Quinn ain't the worst.When did the womanizing, Sheila-marrying, Donna-loving, Lauren-Fenmore-dating philanderer become so dumb and gullible? Eric ain't stupid. They seem to forget who he is, who his brother is, and who he was married to most of his life. A man can't stay with Stephanie Forrester for decades upon decades if he's some weak, wilting flower.

Steffy barreled into Eric's room, forbidding him to see Quinn. "You don't have a choice. I won't allow it," Steffy said. I cannot imagine in my wildest nightmares what any senior member of my family would do to me if I told them that I won't allow them to do something. Oh, hell no. I don't even want to imagine it.

Whether Steffy has a valid point or not isn't even the question. Like I said before, it's the reason Liam told her that he didn't know if he could have a future with her. It's that attitude! Right or wrong, that nasty-ass, bossy attitude just blows any point Steffy tries to make. And the violence. Attacking Quinn removes any possibility of Steffy as a heroine or victim in my eyes.

I know people think Quinn deserved to be slapped and are quick to deflect to what Quinn or another character has done. We discuss those things when they happen, but this time, it's Steffy's turn. To me, resorting to hitting reduces the offender to a lower level than the person they hit. It's disgusting, and it is never okay to get so out of control except in self-defense. Thinking people deserve offensive attacks is what leads to terrorism, and it's what leads to road rage and other senseless violence.

Even Liam, who probably deserves to hit Quinn most out of anyone in the world, didn't do it. Even Deacon, who might be in competition with Liam for top slapping spot, didn't do it. No, of course Bell can't have a man hitting a woman, but same-gender violence is perfectly fine.

Don't get me wrong. I love a good fictional slap and punch, but only where it's deserved -- like when Taylor accused Brooke of seducing Thomas. Or like when Stephanie smacked the mess out of Taylor for saying Stephanie was in love with her own son -- or any other time Taylor got slapped. But slapping a person when the person isn't trying to incite you, degrade you, or hit you first, that's a no-no in my book.

Steffy knew it was a boo-boo because she didn't even tell Eric she'd done it. If I were Eric and she'd spoken to me the way she did to him, I would have said, "Lie down on the bed, little girl, so I can change your diaper!" Steffy needed a reality check about how to talk to her grandfather with respect and sense. Instead, Eric gave her what she wanted.

Eric put mama on the plane, and it was first-class all the way. She even got a window seat with no one sitting beside her. She made it to L.A. in minutes and was landing just after Eric and Wyatt concluded their conversation. What is there for Quinn not to smile about in a world like that?

Here is how other viewers felt about the confrontation from our Soap Central message boards:

• Steffy didn't know it was Quinn she was chasing. She chased after an unknown woman and pulled her to the ground. That's assault no matter who the woman turned out to be. -- Bonniejean

• Steffy is proving herself almost as bad and controlling as Quinn. So sorry that this episode wasn't caught on tape. Steffy needs to re-think HERSELF for a change. Ally died, Ivy nearly died...yeah, it "wasn't her fault" but there seems to be a pattern here...Steffy now wants to control her husband, her Grandpa, her mother in law...and everybody else who doesn't do things her way. I don't get WHY Steffy claims to be afraid of Quinn. -- PennyB

• Everyone is so quick to point out all that Quinn has done, but then, here's Steffy, chasing down a woman, knocking her to the ground, then slapping her.....how does that make Steffy any better than Quinn?...And, at that time, Quinn's only offense was being where Steffy didn't want her. Steffy doesn't own Monte Carlo. -- FriesianLvr

• Was she smiling about the slap?.. Quinn likes being manhandled... -- Ferretlove

• Steffy is responsible for being open to Wyatt's pressure and con job....he's really good at selling himself. But she can also be angry with Quinn. Quinn was the one responsible for the breakup text and phone messages "from Liam" that Steffy received. Steffy was manipulated directly, so her anger is justifiable. -- Redheadteacher

• I'm a Steffy fan, and I have no issue with her slapping Quinn...she was justified. She kidnapped Liam and kept him away from her...not to mention she tried to kill Liam and Deacon before. She probably killed Ricardo. -- canadiangirl06

Yes, Canadiangirl06, Quinn did those things, but Steffy already had her chance to slap Quinn and attack Quinn to her heart's content back in L.A., which she tried to do when Quinn came over to the beach house and police broke them up. Steffy was more justified at that time, but it's another instance of how easily she loses control and resorts to violence.

Back then Liam told Wyatt and Steffy that he didn't blame them if they forgave Quinn because Quinn was in their family, and Liam was just glad that he didn't have to forgive Quinn. First, I want to know what happened to that sentiment. Second, Steffy doesn't know that Quinn tried to kill Deacon. If she did, I doubt she'd be slapping Quinn on Deacon's behalf. Third, we don't know she killed Ricardo, and if Quinn did, again, I doubt Steffy would be slapping Quinn on Ricardo's behalf.

Steffy slapped Quinn for one thing and one thing only. Quinn said she was in love with Eric. Quinn didn't call Steffy a name, she didn't accuse Steffy of being obscene, and she didn't threaten Steffy. All Quinn did was express love. It reminds me of that scene when Quinn was a little girl, and she got slapped down verbally by her mother for no reason. People suspect that Quinn hasn't changed. Maybe people won't let Quinn change. Like Maggie would let Sheila.

Can Quinn prove she has changed, as Eric believes? Will she stay away from Eric because he, not Steffy, asked Quinn to? Or will Eric be the one to break down and go to Quinn? If Steffy returns to Liam's open arms, how is Liam going to protect Steffy from looking at Quinn during Thanksgiving dinner at the Forresters'? I wonder if Steffy will care about the old fool Eric if she's back with Liam.

Ridge certainly cares. After a return stop at Thomas' feet on his apology tour, Ridge became sorry that he hadn't paid enough attention to Eric to know that Eric was with Quinn. Ridge thinks Quinn's agenda is money and power, and Ridge is all about protecting the family nowadays. What else does he have to do now besides stare at Stephanie's portrait all day?

If you are wondering where Caroline is, check out Thursday's bonus scene called "Changes are Coming." In this scene, Thomas assumes that changes are coming, and Ridge can't keep living in the same house with Caroline. Thomas remarks that divorced parents have done it so the children wouldn't be uprooted, but "this is totally different. You're Douglas' grandfather, and that's going to be confusing for him growing up."

And having two married grandmothers isn't confusing for a child growing up? Eric not being the biological great-grandfather isn't? Zende being a black second or third cousin isn't? Maya being Douglas' transgender great-aunt isn't? Having a cousin who was a child of surrogacy isn't? Thomas, honey, it's just one more thing in Douglas' family tree. No big deal.

"Now, what are you thinking, Thomas? Whatever it is, Caroline's gonna need some time, because even if both parties agree, to end a marriage is a hard thing to do," Ridge said. I'm so glad someone told Thomas that beforehand because he obviously doesn't understand that people need time to end one relationship before hopping into drunken love beds with their exes' sons. I'm frankly surprised that Thomas hasn't already shown up in Caroline's bedroom with wine.

I'm not going into the rest of the bull that Thomas and Ridge said to each other. I'll just say it was more of the same ass-kissing the writers have put Ridge up to, and the men are ready to mend their relationship. So until Caroline moves or Ridge gives her the house, I guess he'll be looking the other way each time Thomas leaves her bedroom in a towel. As I noted last week. it made no freaking sense to give Thomas that loft if a divorce would come a week later.

Thomas also has some warped reasoning when it comes to other marriages, too -- like Steffy's. He seems to believe marriages are conditional, which has been proven by his ready acceptance of Ridge and Caroline's breakup due to what Ridge terms as best for the "children." Thomas didn't even question who the children are. Thomas knows he's one of them, and he had no problem with Ridge giving up his marriage so Thomas can have Caroline.

Thomas pointed it out to Ridge that Steffy had made the choice before Quinn stopped doing what Steffy told her to do. Thomas needs a clue. Quinn never started doing what Steffy told her to do, so there has been no change.

Quinn has showed up at Liam's, at Wyatt's, and now in Monaco, and she's been showing up wherever she pleases ever since Deacon let her out of the closet even before Steffy knew Quinn had done anything to Liam.

In Thomas' view, it was okay for Steffy to choose to be with Wyatt in a weak moment, and Steffy is right to leave her marriage because of something an outside party did. Thomas also thinks Steffy loves Liam more. You know how Thomas is about those cosmic connections, and he's deemed that Liam and Steffy have it. Ridge believes that Steffy has made her choice and won't vacate the marriage, but isn't that what just happened in Ridge's marriage? Ridge seems to believe in Steffy and her commitments more than he believed in his own marriage and Caroline's commitment. Caroline had just told Ridge that she meant her vows when he told her that he couldn't fight her connection with Thomas, and the marriage was over. I don't get it, Ridge. I also do not get how Ridge is moving from knowing what's best to do in one situation where he claims to not know all the facts to knowing what's best in another situation where he does not know all the facts, namely the romance between Quinn and Eric. Ridge claimed he learned so much from his "misinterpretation" of Caroline and Thomas, but then he goes berserk off third-hand information from Thomas, who doesn't know how to interpret a situation to save his life. Thomas was wrong about Ivy. Thomas was wrong about Hope. Thomas was wrong about drunken Caroline. Miracle of miracles, Thomas just might be right about Liam and Steffy. Will Liam propose to Steffy on the beach with a handmade shell engagement ring? Or will Steffy give Wyatt one more chance to control the uncontrollable? If Steffy stays with Wyatt, will Liam finally get the damn hint, bug off, and take Eva on a date? Can you believe Eva told that fool that she fell for unavailable men, and his response was to ask her to please say she wasn't interested in Wyatt? Oh, Liam. It made his day when she said she wasn't, but he still didn't get it. Eva even kissed his cheek. Liam later asked Steffy if she could live with being in Quinn's shadow. Liam, how do you like living to rescue women from your brother? Eva's hot. What is wrong with you, man? Liam might be back on his rescue horse with two damsels. He'll be protecting Steffy, and Katie and Bill are gearing up for the war of the Spencers. Liam won't even have time for ice cream and sulking with Caroline about her divorce while splitting his time between Steffy, Katie, and Bill. Hopefully, Liam will at least have time get an explanation from Eric. Tune in next week, because in the preview, Bill promises you won't be disappointed. Until we dish again, if you get kicked off your vacation, may your first-class window seat home be bold and beautiful, baby!

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