Breakups, make-ups, and shake-ups

There were a few air pockets on the bumpy flight of love for couples this week. In poetic fashion, Ridge ended his marriage over Champagne and chocolates. Eric is so hip that he dumped Quinn via email. In a hell-no-I-won't-go moment, Quinn booked a flight to make-up city. Liam got shook up when he swore he spotted Quinn in Monte Carlo. Steffy directed Wyatt to step away from the selfie stick and keep an eye out for Mama Witch this week on the Bold and the Beautiful.

We scoopers were overdue for a nice summer getaway. Liam keeps talking about how he got robbed of the life he's supposed to live. What about us? We haven't had a location shoot since 2014! Finally, it's our time to escape the sets and scoop from the bank of the Mediterranean.

Have a bottomless glass of Champagne. Relax and enjoy yourselves, all on me. No need to pucker up or suck in your gut for the world. I shoved Wyatt's Apple phone in his mouth, hogtied him, and hung him from a pole on Stella Maris. We'll set him and his phone free when we're done.

Can Wyatt be more annoying? The whole "Kim Kardashian" remake thing blasted Wyatt's ego into outer space. Is this his M.O. with women? He wanted to turn Ivy into a modeling sex kitten, and he campaigned to make Hope the Queen of Everything. At least he hasn't made a cardboard Steffy doll...yet...

Wyatt is in a competition with Liam for the most irritating travel companion ever, but as bad as he is, the drab Liam is winning. At least Wyatt is having fun and canoodling while burning the selfie stick at both ends. Wyatt should go ahead and commission that cardboard doll because Steffy's a little over constantly posing while Mount Garbage forms in the Pacific Ocean.

Steffy wants to join Liam's quest to save the planet, a goal Liam finds easier to achieve than prying Steffy out of her marriage. Does she actually want to save the world, or is she feeling sorry for Liam because Wyatt keeps picking on the do-gooder?

You guys tell me. Isn't Wyatt's belittling of Liam a little like what Steffy did to Hope in the nascent of HFTF? A certain "HO LOGAN" prank comes to mind. Hope was out to spread positive messages, make clothes affordable, and save on jet fuel -- unless she needed to fly to Paris, Cabo, or Aspen at the last minute. Hope wasn't that into conserving wedding dresses, either, come to think of it.

Steffy's grown from her days of stomping on Hope's dreams and wedding bouquets. Steffy's even shed her kick-play-fighting foreplay routine with men, leaving Liam to roll his eyeballs into a zombie coma at Steffy and Wyatt's neck-a-noodling. It's apparently a new way to PDA. Just ask Eric who was neck-a-noodling Quinn on the pier.

Steffy became self-conscious of Wyatt's goddess worship, but it wasn't due to respect for her ex, Liam. She had no problems kissing and laughing with Wyatt in Liam's face -- and all without a single Cabo or Aspen flashback. Steffy drew the line at Wyatt trying to take a selfie of them kissing. Five million followers can't see her kiss Wyatt, but it's okay with her that Liam has a front row seat.

To be fair, Steffy didn't invite Liam the wife poacher to lurk behind umbrellas and lounge chairs to watch. Liam just pops up like the chicken pox in the middle of the newlyweds' romantic moments. He told Steffy it wasn't wise to let her followers know where she was at all times -- but to me, that ought to include stalker number one, Liam, too.

The trip kind of reminds me of Amsterdam from Liam's mirthless demeanor to Hope and Steffy staring out of windows while Wyatt tried to entertain them out of their thoughts of Liam. Hope loved the limelight. I wonder how Steffy likes standing on the red carpet like a Barbie doll as Wyatt hyped up how she'd rack up more hits and followers than the HFTF diamond. At the same time, Liam was a few feet away, telling the press something that actually meant a damn in the world.

Speaking of Hope, her weddings, and all that jazz, isn't the Stella Maris the same yacht Wyatt took Hope to, via the Spencer jet, for their wedding? Shanghaiing Hope with Spencer transportation can't be more personal, but Wyatt decreed that Liam couldn't use the boat for business with the Prince of Monaco. I wonder if Wyatt will flash back to his wedding when he boards the boat. "Hey, Steffy, let me get a selfie of us kissing on the bed I slept with Hope in on our wedding night!" he'd probably say.

In case you missed it, Eric was elected to chaperone the Rydell High gang's big adventure overseas. He spent the flight trying to craft his speech and arbitrate between the Spencer brothers, who exchanged "I'm rubber -- you're glue" barbs about profits versus philanthropy and the point of making a spectacle out of Steffy. To Wyatt's credit, he tried to move away from Liam, but Liam still made snarky remarks over his shoulder, aimed in Wyatt's direction.

Eric had a chance to talk to Liam alone when Wyatt and the Beetlejuice-pants-wearing Steffy went into a separate cabin on the jet. And do not let me get off topic about how Steffy still had those pants on after sleeping in them and landing. Wyatt's such a promoter, but he messed up by not changing his Barbie's clothes for over twenty-four hours. On the red carpet, though, Steffy's dress was fab! Eva's, too.

Back to Eric and Liam. Their talk was therapeutic for each of them. Eric was more help to Liam than Bill's "get over it" speech regarding Quinn and the "respect marriage" speech about Steffy. Eric gained some insight into what Liam had gone through with Quinn, and Eric gave an empathetic ear to Liam about Steffy. After talking to Liam, Eric strode to the back of the cabin to text Quinn a kiss-off email.

Eric is good for Liam, I think. It's like he could be Liam's cool grandfather, so it's no surprise Quinn is attracted to them. The kinship between the men is nice, and Eric always has a clever way to give and take advice without judgment.

After they'd landed in Monaco and had press time on the red carpet, Liam meandered to Eric's room because, frankly, he had nothing else to do. He is too boring to find anything to do on the French Rivera. Only Liam can manage to roam aimlessly or not plan dates in the romantic cities of the world.

In the bonus scene with Eric from Thursday, Liam sorted through some feelings regarding his captivity. While confiding in Eric, Liam said that Steffy's family should have stopped her from jumping into an engagement. He felt that Wyatt should have waited a respectful time period before proposing, and Bill should have reported Liam missing (sooner, I guess Liam means).

Liam still blames Quinn for manipulating it all, so he must think she has mind-control powers, just like Ridge and Bill do over Caroline and Katie. Liam still hasn't accepted that Steffy, just like Wyatt, acted of her own accord; however, it was easy for him to blame himself for his captivity. He wondered why he hadn't run.

Liam conveyed that the doors weren't locked. He didn't know why he didn't leave, flag down a car, or demand to see a doctor. He wondered why he hadn't questioned things like their ages or his occupation and why nothing in the house belonged to him. Eric asked if Liam had figured it out, but then Eric decided it wasn't his business. Liam felt that he should tell someone, and Eric, an uninvolved person, was a good choice to confide in. Yeah. Wait until Liam learns just how "involved" Eric really is.

Though Liam needs to put blame where it's rightfully due, it is good see him dealing with what happened and opening up about it in terms that don't involve Steffy or the triangle. Liam should not blame himself. He didn't run because he believed Quinn. Why run out and flag down a car to get away from your wife? He did ask questions, which led to the fake photo album.

If the writers continue to let him work through it, the next stage for Liam is to realize he'd done the best that he could do as a victim with amnesia. The people at fault are Quinn for abducting him, Deacon for remaining complicit, and Wyatt for his inaction after seeing the video. It is so odd that Liam has not said he met Deacon at the cabin yet.

Steffy and Wyatt are not to blame for their relationship. Rather, they are responsible for it -- just like Thomas is responsible for what happened with Caroline. Hearing Liam say -- even if was only in a bonus scene -- that Wyatt should have waited a respectful time period let me know that the writers actually do get that point. They just don't apply it to Thomas. So would they like some cheese with that Mc-Double Standard?

Liam's depression in Monte Carlo is probably the reason for the rain during Steffy and Wyatt's beach time. Liam stalked around the city as he'd done in Paris after Hope jetted off -- and to the tune of another of Scott Clifton's beautiful and sad songs. This one was called "The Song That Never Played." While he was flashing back on times with Steffy, she was sipping Champagne and sneaking neck-a-noodles with Wyatt, not sneaking peeks at her shell. I wonder if the shell made it through customs.

Liam wound up back on the beach and glanced up to see a woman in a floppy hat and sunglasses as she made her way down the promenade behind the beach. She disappeared into the crowd, and Liam rushed to ask Wyatt what he knew about it. Wyatt guessed that Quinn was walking with Elvis, and Steffy considered that Liam might have PTSD. They didn't take him seriously, and he let it go.

I have no idea why Liam didn't pursue it. Quinn has shown up on a trip before. She's also just shown up at his house. Quinn showed up when Hope fell down the stairs. Before leaving on the trip, Wyatt should have sneaked a GPS tracker app onto his mom's phone. Instead, he's so busy snapping photos of Steffy's every breath that he couldn't be bothered to call Quinn after hearing what Liam had seen.

Steffy can't even enjoy the trip without making sure she tells Wyatt once again to keep his mother away from her and her family. Wyatt promised that he had it under control, and he was the rudder to steer Quinn away. Could he be talking about the "rudder" Quinn was willing to abandon to run away with Liam?

Something tells me that Wyatt needs to get it in writing that Steffy won't leave him if she rolls down a flight a stairs while Quinn is within a hundred miles her. While Steffy tumbles, he'll probably be taking pictures and directing, "Fall with your good side facing me!"

If the crew booked rooms on the same floor, it's possible that Quinn is about a hundred feet from Steffy on the other side of the hotel wall, getting her freak on with her wild, sexy man, Eric.

People question whether Quinn has changed. I'll put it this way -- she's not perfect, but there ain't no way in hell the married couple on the plane she sat with would have survived the plane ride. They would have keeled over dead in the plane's lavatory due to some tainted jewel she let them touch. "Oh, they died? I get the whole row to myself? Shame. They were so sweet," the old Quinn would have said before stretching out and curling up in their blanket and eating their carry-on food.

Quinn's in love-lust for the fourth time since her arrival on the show. The airplane couple might have been annoying, but they couldn't drown out all romance songs in her head as her blue eyes glowed with hope about reuniting with Eric.

Just as Peaches and Herb sang, Eric and Quinn reunited, and it felt so good. If I block out all the evil Quinn has done and just focus on this time period with Eric, then I think they are so darn cute! They are all heart-eyed like teenagers, and they can't keep their hands off each other. They were all, "You're great. No, you're great. You're good for me. Well, you're even better for me."

It's nice to see Quinn vulnerable, and she even admitted to Eric that she'd been afraid of his rejection and of Steffy's reaction to seeing her there. After making whoopie, they agreed that Steffy can't know about the rendezvous. Quinn is as impulsive as they come, and it only takes one quick trip to the ice machine to blow this thing out of the water.

Next week's previews hint to danger, and there's a scene of Steffy running. When Steffy doesn't pay attention to where she is going on a vacation, it spells disaster. In Cabo, she cracked her head during an ATV chase. In Aspen, she wiped out in drugged Hope's path and hurt her knee. In Italy, she slipped off a cliff. I still don't know how she managed that one.

If Steffy is in danger, it must be an accident because Quinn would not risk her new love on a purposeful attack. Or does the danger threaten relationships and not actual people?

Ridge might learn that Quinn is in Monaco. In the preview, he's yelling in the living room about it. I'd like to know who he's talking to. Stephanie's portrait? Ridge doesn't have a family at home anymore.

Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, and Caroline hasn't moved out yet. So much happens off-screen these days, so you never know. Maybe the next time Ridge sees Caroline, he'll be saying how sorry he was that he missed her wedding to Thomas, but he caught it on social media. "By the way, you two comfy in our old love nest, where we used to paint on each other and make love?"I can see him asking. "Good, I'm glad. It's all about being a good dad. Anything else Thomas needs of mine? My toothbrush is upstairs. I can get it...oh, you gave it to him already....no, no. That's fine."

Ridge is helpful like that. He helped himself out of a relationship and wound up with a grandson. Now he's helping himself out of a marriage and winds up alone. The couple hasn't been getting much screen time since the Douglas scandal bomb landed with a whimper. No scandal so far. If Caroline hooks up with Thomas quickly enough, there might not be one at all.

The last time we saw the couple together, Caroline was telling Ridge that nothing had changed, and they were still the same people. Ridge is still the same person who's willing to sacrifice for his kids. Maybe she is the same person, too, but it's a person I never knew.

Ridge made reservations for the mansion living room to set up a romantic summit with Caroline. It's strange that they get a night away from Douglas and don't want to go out. What's also worth mentioning is that the Monaco crew took off on the same night and landed after a ten-hour flight, but Caroline and Ridge were still talking in the living room. To Ridge's credit, it was an event-filled summit.

It started with an icebreaker full of compliments and expressions of love. Caroline reaffirmed how she loved Ridge and didn't know who she'd been before him. She promised that she meant her vows. Ridge couldn't get the flashback out of his head of Caroline telling him that she couldn't hear that his son had taken advantage of her. With that, the next summit event started, which was Ridge's rambling speech about doing what was best for children. "I don't get it, baby. What are you talking about?" Caroline said.

Ridge thought he and Caroline had it. In his mind, they had had it -- until they hadn't. He didn't know when he'd lost her and was sorry he'd missed the moment. Already thinking about the next chick, he claimed that the new woman would have to climb a mountain to get to his heart, and no man would love Caroline as much as Ridge did. He believed Caroline's connection with Thomas would grow, and he couldn't fight it. "Our time together is over, isn't it?" Ridge asked.

Ridge sounded like Frodo in The Lord of the Rings, trying to explain to Sam why he was leaving Middle Earth. Caroline cried like Sam, but unlike Sam, she didn't say, "I don't want you to go, Mr Frodo." Instead, Caroline readily put their relationship in the past tense, saying what "we had" was so incredible. That was when Ridge started to cry.

I was curious at what activated the tears, because Ridge had seemed resolute. Maybe he was giving Caroline a chance to stand up for them and was surprised when she readily confirmed that things hadn't been the same since she'd gotten pregnant.

I don't know where I was when whatever Caroline is talking about was going on. Maybe I tuned in to the wrong show this week, or maybe this breakup is really happening in Bizarro World. Quinn fought harder for Liam, and she's fighting harder for Eric. Caroline fought harder for Rick, who was screwing Maya and dropped his wedding band on the floor for Caroline to kneel and pick up at Maya's feet. But this is what I get for investing in Carridge? Really? The magic moments of the baby's birth and all the moments snuggling with Douglas were my imagination, I guess. I don't even know anymore.

Caroline and Ridge moved on to the next event at the breakup summit. Ridge got in one last neck-a-noodle and picked up a sketchpad with a dress already drawn on it. They sketched together for the last time -- I suppose -- and moved on to the removing of the rings portion of the ceremony. The summit concluded with a shot of a wedding picture an invisible wedding guest must have taken of them.

Ridge held Caroline as she cried. I wonder how long they sat there? Until the tears dried up and one of them said, "You good?" And then the other responded, "Yeah, I'm good. Want a sandwich?"

What does this mean for the living arrangements? Do Zende and Ridge get the house to themselves now? Everybody knows Eric will be at the Roach Villa Apartments with Quinn. Well, unless the Monaco danger costs her Eric.

I don't even know what to think, so I'll let the faithful Soap Central message board members take it from here with their comments:

• [Ridge] paused and waited for Caroline to stop him from letting her go and she did not.....she wants a family and he could not give that to her which he believes is her number one priority so graciously backed out so she could have it...although I don't know why nobody discusses being in love with your partner that usually helps....I think once the paternity proves that Ridge is bio Dad they will reconcile because HE WILL BE ABLE TO GIVE HER A FAMILY!!!! -- lpatter

• I too think this SL was crap. Any man that has sex with a woman who is obviously upset and inebriated and doesn't think it's rape is seriously in need of MS. Manners. Caroline discovered she was pregnant just days after the whole Thomas incident. She had been having sex with Ridge for months...I don't know why they don't just skip to the DNA test (that we all know is in the future) and move on...oh wait, then slutvanna Brooke wouldn't be able to get back with Ridge....AGAIN. Do any of the writers on this show have any creativity at all? -- jaxcraig

• Trying to make sense of Bell's storylines is a lost cause. Nothing ever makes sense because he treats the characters like puppets and strings them along for his nonsensical plots. I [can't] take the insults to my intelligence anymore. -- WoodsyladyM

• Poor, pathetic, Caroline! She has been rejected by a man so she is desperately in need of comfort. Blech! Mr. Bell, we are not that needy. We can live w/out a man! -- magoo1000

• For what reason would two people who love each other be breaking up? Just because Thomas is the father of the baby does not mean he and Caroline belong together. We all saw how the baby was conceived; now we are being told that it was really something Caroline, who was so madly in love with Ridge, secretly wanted with Thomas. Funny, I never saw Caroline pining away for Thomas at any point. Basically, what Ridge is saying is that this is what is best for Douglas. Why? If parents of children should raise them together, then the whole cast of this show is at fault. --sierra

Precisely, Sierra. Making a baby does not make you destined. If so, maybe Caroline will explain it to Karen and Dani, so Dani can get out of the way and let Karen find true love with Mr. Sperm Bank Man.

I can't tolerate too many more "second coming of Christ" scenes between Caroline and Thomas regarding Douglas, and we all know that this Veronica thing is passing -- if it hasn't already expired off-screen. There's nothing left but to move on to the DNA portion of this drawn-out storyline.

I'll leave you with a couple of jewels from our board's Shaking My Head thread:

• SMH at Eric ... texting a "break-up" to Quinn ... didn't he break-up with her before? And, how does one break-up with someone that you've just been using for sex? Did he ask Zende for some advice? -- Dorothy12102

• Ridge calling Thomas more mature; more respectful because of Douglas. Well I guess he hasn't been sleeping with anything that will hold still and hasn't punched Ridge lately, so maybe it's true. -- Katbert • SMH at Wyatt and Steffy taking a power nap and looking so fresh ... no wrinkles in the clothing after lying down ... guess FC's is still using Brooke's formula after all these years. -- Dorothy1202 • SMH that Bill felt both Liam and Wyatt had to go to Monte Carlo to host the Spencer Summit, and so far, all they've done is pose on the red carpet and say a couple of sentences. After that, they just wandered down to the beach. Gee, Bill, I could have done that for you, and I've never been to Monte Carlo... -- Xyla • SMH - Reporters not inquiring where Liam was for almost 3 months...a top publishing executive vanishes for 3 months and no one cares. -- Soapfiction I'll conclude with a SMH of my own. Liam tells Eva that he should be living it up in Monte Carlo. "So karaoke?" Eva suggests. I'm surprised that Eva, who saw the hellish toll dating Liam took on Ivy and Hope, was willing to flirt with Liam. She's lucky the coquettishness went right over his head. Meet you back here next time. In the meantime, may all your vacations overflow with Champagne. Wyatt's running loose with the camera again, so make sure your selfies are bold and beautiful, baby!

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