Shanghai surprise

Surprise! This week, Liam spun the wheel to determine Quinn's freedom. Sasha stacked the deck in her game against the Avants. And Ridge gave Thomas a chance to increase his frequent flyer miles! Delve into all the ancient Chinese secrets with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Were your travel plans made in China? Did you not need Monopoly to snag a Get Out of Jail Free card? Was your favorite song "Urine the Money"? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Avant clan this week!

How do, Scoopers! Well, I have to say, it was a pretty solid week on B&B for the most part. I especially liked that we had some different stories playing simultaneously, with some interesting angles. It's nice to get away from hammering away at the same storyline all week long. Naturally, everything came with its ups and downs, but "you can't flush" the better balance. Let's Scoop about it!

Right out of the gate, what the hell was Brooke doing over at Katie's? The last time the Logan sisters saw each other, Katie threw Brooke out and locked herself in her bedroom for a seductive encounter with a whiskey bottle. Yet the embattled sibs were practically all smiles, yapping about Will (and R.J.! Remember him?) as if everything were normal. What gives?

Katie correctly deduced that Brooke was there to check on her, but you'd think she'd have assured Brooke that she didn't actually take a drink "that night," which was actually last night in soap time. Instead, Katie acknowledged Bill's suffering and promised Brooke she was going to keep it together, while Brooke observed a new calmness and confidence emanating from her sister.

Perhaps Katie's hot and cold behavior is a more realistic portrayal of alcoholism -- certainly more so than #DrunkBrooke's three-hour tour of the sauce was. But we've been on this merry-go-round with the Logan ladies for five months now. When Katie makes nice, I don't believe it. Maybe I'm not supposed to. I just feel like this story's in a rut. And what happened to hunky Dr. Hayden, the unfortunate one-episode wonder?

At any rate, Katie and Brooke even found time to talk about Quinn and how Bill felt stuck between his sons, who had differing ideas about what Ms. Fuller's punishment should be. Anything's better than all of Forrester Creations talking about Hope's virginity, I guess. And Quinn's fate was worthy of conversation, for all the intriguing tidbits it brought up.

When Quinn was first arrested, I wondered exactly what she was being jailed for. Thankfully, the show answered that by having Quinn ask, "Hey, are you gonna charge me with something?" We were additionally informed that Quinn was only there for questioning. As Jeff Foxworthy used to say, "this is information you need." It certainly makes a story easier to digest when details like these are taken care of.

Meanwhile, back in Malibu, Liam stunned Bill by admitting that he saw goodness, devotion, and trust in Quinn during his "captivity" and also that "I only knew how I felt about her." This father and son team has now shared both Quinn and Steffy, even though Still never consummated their...whatever it was. Liam then declared he wanted it all back, including Steffy.

That's the weakest part of the whole story, plus, I thought Liam agreed he was going to try to let Steffy go. Good thing we didn't linger on that too long. Bill demanded that Liam demand justice, while Quinn asked Wyatt to convince Liam otherwise. Liam went to the station, and Lt. Baker asked Liam the pivotal, cliffhanger question: "Do you want to press charges?"

Then a funny thing happened. At the top of the next episode, Liam was suddenly at home, flashing back to Baker's pivotal, cliffhanger question. We proceeded to spend the entire installment dancing around Liam's decision until the episode wrapped with Liam being asked the exact same question! Hey, I'm all for dragging out game-changing moments on soaps, but that was just silly.

What made up for it was the intricate, aforementioned dance. While Liam brought in the oft-missing Justin to serve as his attorney, Quinn got a hold of hot rod guest attorney Ed De La Rosa, who shot holes in Liam's case like he was in a John Wayne western. "Was it not consensual?" De La Rosa asked, referring to Adam and Eve's lovemaking. "You were free to leave whenever you wanted. How is this an abduction?"

Wyatt also wore away at Liam's resolve, noting the positive changes in his repentant mother and fearing prison would return Quinn to her previously demented state. Good argument, unlike Liam again bleating, "I would be married to Steffy right now if..." See, Liam, no, you wouldn't. Why is the show continuing to ignore the fact that Liam caught Steffy sleeping next to Wyatt and broke up with her on that score before he left?

It's one thing if Liam doesn't remember that part. Steffy and Wyatt don't know their snoozing was snagged, but they do know that Liam hung Leffy out to dry. Neither of them have mentioned this to Liam? Anyway, if Liam really wanted Quinn to rot in jail, all he'd have to do is tell De La Rosa how Quinn jabbed him with a necklace, locked him in a steam room, and damn near turned him into a shish kebab. No witnesses, though.

Bill was right that Quinn keeps doing dastardly deeds because she's never held accountable. She got past trying to kill Liam with some invented therapy and a slap on the hand. Ivy got pushed into the Seine with the proof on video and only let Quinn off with a warning. And then there's Deacon, who nearly met a watery death because of Quinn and could implicate her in Ricardo Montemayor's still unsolved probable murder.

So, Quinn being in jail -- and characters spending time in a police station -- is a nice change of pace. We came back to Day Two of the cliffhanger, and started Day Three with the exasperated Lt. Baker demanding, "We need your answer!" And Liam gave it to him -- the charges would be pressed! But by then, even Justin wasn't convinced it was the right move. "Release yourself from this," he advised, warning of the media circus to come.

I guess I always knew Quinn wasn't really going to do any jail time -- no one on B&B ever really does, except Sheila, long ago -- but at least Quinn got arrested with the threat of being jailed. Yes, Liam dropped the charges like they were hot. Wyatt thanked Liam and promised he'd keep Quinn away. But Liam went to visit Quinn himself, and she swore she'd make things up to him somehow.

I still say Liam has some very conflicted feelings where Quinn is concerned; that's what makes this so juicy. As I said in my last column, I don't know that I can really see Liam and Quinn getting together as a couple now, but the memories of Adam and Eve linger. "You hate me," Quinn surmised of Liam, but he clearly doesn't, not anymore. So, what happens now that Quinn is unexpectedly free? It's anybody's guess, really.

The Avants eliminated some of their own guesswork, however, first by hipping us to the identity of the much-awaited Forrester-Avant tyke: Elizabeth Nicole Forrester. Given B&B's penchant for naming kids after existing or deceased family members, "Lizzie" is fitting. (Just don't take her to the Forrester pool, where namesake Grandma Beth drowned.)

But I do sense an unplayed beat here. Nicole looked happy to be a fellow namesake, but she had a most unusual look on her face while pulled into a hug. Maybe I'm just still hoping B&B will pull a Dynasty and have Nicole fight Rick and Maya for custody, but I can't help feeling Nicole handed over her biological daughter too easily. Is the show just keeping that card handy for another time?

That said, last week, Brooke and Eric swooned that Rick finally had a baby after all this time, and it was a good reminder of soap history that can get lost under the years. Amber bore Rick two children, both stillborn. And can I just kiss the feet of whoever had Eric say that naming the child Erica was inadvisable given Rick's past? What a great nod to Rick's 2002 near dalliance with Sheila's daughter, Erica (really Mary Warwick)!

And by the way, I'm still floored how much Beric lights up a room when they're together. I don't know if the former marrieds should ever reunite, but these original two cast members are B&B. They were on hand as Vivienne and Maya fussed over Lizzie, but Nicole wasn't as happy at her daughter's/niece's homecoming because of Zende's hospital bombshell.

Rome Flynn brings such a wonderful warmth to his character, but I think I need Zende's adoptive parents, Kristen and Tony, to visit and open up a can of Whoop-Ass on their kid. Zende dumps Nicole over her choice to be a surrogate mother but expects Nicole to tolerate Sasha carrying his baby. And smooth move, Ex-Lax, asking Nicole to come back to you and then telling her you're Sasha's baby daddy. Wow.

"What do we have now?" Nicole asked Zende, and Reign Edwards just brought so much maturity to Nicole this week, it's stupendous. When Sasha popped by to crow, Nicole sent Zende away then quietly put her new half-sister on notice. "You're in a hospital," Nicole observed. "Get tested at the lab. This better not be another one of your lies." Yep. Ms. Edwards doesn't need to raise a decibel to bring the house down.

Look up, Sasha Thompson, because the vultures are circling. Nicole doesn't believe you're pregnant, and neither does Maya, Vivienne, or Julius. "I want somebody who loves me back," Sasha admitted to Julius, which is basically what we all want. But Sasha knew Papa J was onto her, so she tempted him with the apple of smoothing things over with Vivienne if Julius would help keep Zende and Nicole apart.

And Julius was considering it, too! I guess life can't be much fun for him lately -- he's living in one motel room after getting kicked out of another motel room. Personally, I'd like to see Viv hold Julius' feet to the fire for a while. Wouldn't it be fun if Sasha's mama, Lucy Thompson, showed up to complicate things? Though I admit now really isn't the time, with Sasha fierce to hold on to Zende. (See what I did there?)

Yes, as the news of Sasha's newly germinated embryo spread through the family -- and it's nice to see Brooke doing something else besides sparring with #DrunkKatie -- Maya decided she wasn't havin' it and presented Sasha with some Clear Blue Easy. Because clearly, if you're easy, you're gonna be blue! (Sorry, old joke of mine.) Did anybody else enjoy watching Maya using her hard line powers again, this time to do good?

Watching Sasha, Maya, and Nicole together -- which is kind of a rare combination -- I couldn't help thinking of them as the Logan sisters for the 21st century. And Sasha may have fancied herself a kindred spirit with Stephanie Forrester, but she's really taking a page out of the playbook of B&B's only other true diva, Sally Spectra. I recall Sally lying she was pregnant to keep Taylor's dad and also being forced to pee on the stick!

So, Sasha had no choice but to go on her enforced tinkle, and that's where things got, as the Church Lady used to say, "conveeeeenient!" Because who should show up but the wife of day player photographer Jeremy, who just happens to be two days past her due date and full of hormones. Well, Sasha went to work. "You can't flush," Ms. Thompson said, practically whipping out an aquarium to entice the woman to go yellow.

"You can't flush" has to be a daytime first! That's bold, all right, if not entirely beautiful. Because you know Sasha was dipping into the bowl like she was coloring Easter eggs! I'm just surprised Maya and Nicole didn't escort Sasha into the lavatory and stand guard over it; their failure to is the only way Sasha was able to be sponsored by the letter P. Like I said, convenient. And even Sally got a coworker to fudge her test like Sasha!

Zende got there in moments, while Maya and Nicole were convinced Sasha's test was negative because it was blank. But then...like the star that guided the wise men...a sign appeared on Sasha's stick. Makes sense, considering her conception is about as miraculous as that other one. I thought she was going to get it on with cute day player photographer Jeremy instead! Looks like Zende's trading one baby for another after all.

Thomas was asked to make a trade involving babies, too, though Ridge swore that wasn't the case. Ridge suddenly decided that he wanted to groom Thomas to take over for him as CEO one day and that Thomas' training should start "mashang," Google Translate tells me that's Chinese for "right away." Ridge was sending Thomas to Shanghai. And not in the slow boat to China way!

Maybe Ridge needs to design his next collection in cellophane, because that's about how transparent he was. Like I said in my previous column, Ridge's fear that Eric will appoint Rick CEO if Douglas' paternity comes out is groundless. Ridge took over via hostile takeover, amassing 62.5% of the stock. Seems Eric has no power there, not even to tell Rick he has no intention of replacing Ridge. Eric can't replace him.

The only sense Ridge really made is pointing out that Rick is still sniffing around, and Thomas was careless to blurt out "my son" in a place that might as well have microphones for windows. So Thomas took his Shanghai surprise (and even the script couldn't help nodding at Madonna's notoriously bad movie) and went home to pack, telling Rick he was about to eat a lot more Chinese food. Ping! Rick's radar went off.

Eric told Rick to stop obsessing on Ridge (preach, fearless Forrester patriarch, preach), though Rick explained his vendetta a little better by determining Ridge shouldn't be in charge because he's a Marone. That still doesn't matter, because Ridge was raised a Forrester and groomed for decades to take over for Eric. I don't need to see another struggle for that CEO chair. I really don't.

Caroline thought Ridge sending Thomas away was a little extreme, and Thomas bid Douglas a heartfelt goodbye while trying not to let the door hit his ass on the way out. Somehow, I don't think exiling Thomas again will keep Rick off the scent. Wouldn't it be something if we got a nice Asian remote out of this? I can dream, but methinks Ridge's ancient Chinese secret won't be for much longer. It's a soap -- we need more Calgon!

What should be in the fortune cookie of your favorite (or unfavorite) B&B character? Crack one open in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

• "Liam and Quinn -- don't disappoint us please writers. Quiam is the best thing to happen to B&B since the original Brooke and Ridge charisma." -- Kat

• "Can we please get rid of the whole Avant family. They bring nothing to the show." -- "SamtheMailman"

• "If some random guy had had unprotected sex with a semi-comatose Caroline, no way in hell would anyone expect her to share custody with him. This business with Thomas...having a mystical connection with Douglas...is just complete BS." -- Carrie

• "Ridge is being heavy handed with Thomas but...in his mind Thomas raped his wife so Thomas has no rights to the child...[Caroline's] absolutely horrified reaction the following morning should have seared itself into Thomas' mind. Unfortunately, Thomas only ever focuses on kissing Caroline as she passes out." -- "Anwenn"

You know, that's the interesting thing: we were only told Thomas and Caroline had sex. Caroline remembers nothing; Thomas only remembers the kissing. What if they actually didn't boink, and Ridge is Douglas' father after all? Hey! It could happen.

Here are some very quick Points to Ponder:

"I still think it needs to be confirmed by a doctor," Brooke said of Sasha's pregnancy. Why? No one else bothers with such trivialities -- that means you, Ridge and Thomas... Did you notice that Lizzie's birth certificate had "Elizabeth" listed as her last name? LOL!

Chanel's back next week, and I'll see you in two. And hey, if you like my thoughts about TV, check out the Facebook page for my Bewitched book! As for B&B, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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