Death, taxes, and Steam

This week, viewers can count on three things -- death, taxes, and if Liam has his way, Steam. The puzzle is what motivates Katie -- or Zende, for that matter. Katie turns to booze and firmly plants her nose where it doesn't belong. Zende turns to the sex elixir and places his other nose where the Avants don't think it belongs. The doctor is dead, and Ridge's secret proves quite taxing as Rick and Katie snoop in his business on the Bold and the Beautiful.

Hopefully by now you've gotten all your tax stuff squared away -- or at least filed your extensions. Ridge was one happy taxpayer when he realized he didn't have to share his refund with Dr. Wolin, who died instantly upon being hit by a truck. I think I even heard Ridge whistling as he strolled back to the office.

If Ridge was whistling, it was a little too soon because, while he'd been lying to Dr. Wolin, Dr. Wolin had been lying to him, too. Ridge had lied that he'd seen another doctor who'd unclogged his drain, and Dr. Wolin had lied that the secret would go to his grave when, in truth, he'd already told Katie.

Katie was one gossiping lush who couldn't wait to find Bill and blab about what Dr. Wolin had told her over scotch and martinis, but she wound up walking into an impromptu intervention, co-hosted by Brooke and Bill. I was so mesmerized by Don Diamont and Heather Tom's exploding performance at the kitchen sink that I forgot until later to wonder what exactly Katie was about to tell Bill about the day.

First, Katie was supposed to be dress shopping, not boozing down Secrets Lane with Dr. Wolin. Bill probably wouldn't mind that little fib if it led to ammunition to use against Ridge. Well, if Bill still wanted to control who ran Forrester, that is. Bill's niece reigns as the queen designer and is happily married to the designing king. They have a child together, and Liam intends to return to Forrester, where Bill's daughter-in-law is president -- a daughter-in-law who happens to be Ridge's child.

In light of the above, how would Bill react to Ridge's secret? And what would Bill tell Katie to do with the information? We'll never know because, as usual, Katie acted without consulting her husband and has dished appetizers to the Richie-Rich-toupee-wearing Rick. To Ridge, she served up the whole enchilada.

In truth, this is Caroline's secret and will ultimately humiliate Caroline. If it gets out, Bill will have do media damage control. Cleaning up after Katie has becoming taxing for Bill. He was so mad when he found her trying to drink after the intervention that he threw her green bottle at the sink so hard, it busted. Will he want to bust Katie against something just as hard if she unleashes this on Caroline?

Maybe this is what Bill meant when he told Brooke that he didn't know how Katie would react to anything anymore. He should know. We fans know so well. She'll always act just like she did during the intervention. Katie will cry, beg, plead, paw at him, and blame everything on Brooke.

Yeah, Katie's still drinking. But you know why? Because Brooke drives her to it. Seeing Brooke and Bill together makes her insecure, and she just needs for Brooke to go away.

Where was Brooke when Katie ordered that martini with extra olives while at the table with Wolin? Where was Brooke when Katie was drunk on spaghetti night or when Katie was swishing around mouthwash in the kitchen to hide the liquor stench before going upstairs to seduce Bill? Instead of meeting Brooke backstage after Liam's party, what Bill should have been doing was making sure Katie didn't sneak and pour Champagne on the leftover salad upstairs. "Don't worry, Bill. It's just salad dressing. It's fine. I'm not drunk!" Katie would say. Yes, Katie, we can imitate you just like you did Brooke.

I can barely put up with Katie, who is supposed to be the strong Logan sister, blaming everything but global warming on Brooke. Katie is convinced everything that Brooke does is some passive-aggressive scheme to get Bill. I'm surprised Katie didn't assert that Brooke saying she was leaving the house but not leaving was some sort of ploy to get Bill to walk her out.

Katie immediately sought Brooke out before Liam's welcome back party to apologize for overreacting and blaming Brooke for everything. Brooke's response sounded like Prince's opening Purple Rain lyrics. "I never meant to offend you. I never meant to make you feel disrespected..." Brooke said. Brooke only wants the best for Katie -- and to see her bathing the Purple Rain -- not the clear vodka.

Katie claims to know that, and she learned from sessions with her therapist that her depression was making her feel insecure. Katie's depression must have gone to the showroom for a secret meeting with Bill and Brooke because Katie's insecurities were nowhere in sight when she confronted Ridge about Douglas' paternity.

Earlier in the week, it was refreshing to see Ridge lock the door to the CEO's office before delving into his conversation with Caroline about the doctor's death. He forgot to even close the door while Katie was pressing him about Douglas 'paternity. Meanwhile, Caroline, Thomas, and Steffy were right on the other side of the threshold at Pam's desk.

Ridge liberally poured himself some Champagne during his talk with Katie. Earlier, he'd asked Steffy if they needed to raid Eric's liquor cabinet to get her a stronger drink. Ridge had to retrieve Bill a drink at the party, too. Why didn't Ridge offer Katie Champagne? He doesn't know she has a problem, and it could have been a character-building moment to have her turn it down while grinning as Ridge decried Dr. Wolin, the alcoholic.

Katie had the gall to question Ridge about the vasectomy and who Douglas' father really is. I wish Ridge had countered by asking her what was with the vodka granola bars. "Yeah, Brooke told me. You're hiding vodka in the flour and the granola bars, and Bill doesn't want to have sex with you because you reek. What's up with that?" Ridge could have asked.

No, Brooke isn't an equal-opportunity gossiper and has not blabbed to Ridge about Katie as Brooke has done about Ridge to no end. Luckily for Ridge, Liam probably forgot what he knows about it, but Rick won't forget. Rick's "friends" are gossiping, too. He claims that some "friend" is feeding him gossip about who's lunching at Il Giardino. Since when does Rick have friends?

Ridge warned that Katie was playing a dangerous game. Ominous much, Ridge? Was that the writers' way of trying to make Katie think Ridge pushed Dr. Wolin into the truck's path? The mustache-twirling Rick all but accused Ridge of it while complaining about Ridge's purported absenteeism at work.

Eric outright asked Rick what he was trying say, and Rick indicated that Ridge is always where he isn't supposed to be instead of at work. Huh? What? Rick might have been right when he told Eric, "With all due respect, Steffy is a little consumed with herself," but Ridge has indeed been in the office. He made it a point to be there despite the baby, so that he could protect his coveted CEO chair from Rick.

Katie ain't backing off of Ridge, or so says Monday's preview. Even though Ridge left work with his family Friday, apparently, he forgot something at the office, and he'll be right back there, talking about the same thing with Katie when we pick back up after the weekend.

In the message boards on Soap Central, posters have a variety of opinions about the Katie/Bill/Brooke triangle and the Katie and Ridge secret issue. They also want to know what motivates Katie's nosiness and what repercussions she might face from Bill. Below are some of their thoughts:

• Clues today: Bill tells Brooke that when Katie is drunk, she's a different person, liable to say anything. Katie tells Ridge that she knows...looks out the door at Ridge and Caroline all happy with their baby...Oh yeah. More trouble for Katie because she's gonna blab. -- PennyB

• Katie is only trying to get Ridge away from Caroline, so he can go back to Brooke. Funny how Katie talks about family, but is going to destroy Ridge/Caroline because the only way she can keep Brooke away from Bill is have her go back [to] chasing Ridge. -- Dottie99

• This is what, the 3rd time she apologizes to Brooke within hours after telling her the absolute truth about Brooke's behavior and how it makes Katie feel insecure? Sorry, I'm done feeling sorry for Katie now, she is obviously having trouble to stand up for herself.-- Rike

• Brooke and Bill's little meeting behind closed doors standing so close together is what makes Katie paranoid. The fact that these two can't see that and they keep doing it that it is just a matter of time before one of them leans in for a kiss. -- Vikis3

Bill and Brooke shouldn't be prisoners of Katie's insecurity. Bill shouldn't feel guilty about relating to his sister-in-law and vice versa for Brooke; however, Bill does need to feel guilty about calling Katie out for lying and hiding booze when he hasn't admitted to dreaming of bending Brooke over a desk. Bill should also be honest about whether he wants an alcoholic, insecure, borderline wife and whether Katie's behavior will have a negative impact on Will. Katie has acted out about Brill until it's become a self-fulfilling prophecy. She is once again creating chemistry between Brooke and Bill. Unlike before, this time, she happens to not want to create it; however, with a lingering grip on Brooke's hand, it has begun.

As for the paternity secret, Katie asked Rick why he was so interested in Ridge and Il Giardino. Katie needs to ask that question in the mirror. Did her friend "Vodka" get her to brazenly question the doctor in public and then move on to questioning Ridge at work? She asks why the doctor would accuse Ridge in public. Lady, come on. Ridge told you. Wolin was a drunk -- same reason you have no decorum about doing it, either. Better watch out for curbs and trucks, Katie. You might be as lucky as YR's Nikki Newman was when she tripped off a curb recently.

If Caroline was jumping out of her skin over Rick's questions about Il Giardino, she'll really lose her hair when she hears what Katie knows. Rick couldn't figure out that Caroline had had feelings for Ridge or that Maya had once been Myron. Rick can't even solve who dinged his car -- with surveillance footage at his disposal! A souped-up Katie hound might be more dangerous than Rick.

Katie GPS spies on people, sets up her own camera surveillance systems, and faints better than Fred Sanford, so Ridge and Caroline had better watch out. Better yet -- just get a paternity test. Get some of Thomas' tidal wave hair off a brush in the guesthouse, and it's a done deal.

"Done deal" was a phrase Bill used in reference to Wyatt and Steffy's marriage. Oh, it's "done" all right. When Liam declared that he'd get his life back, it became full Steam ahead.

Liam is missing patches of memory and his sword necklace, but he has his phone and his job back at Forrester. Now he wants Steffy back, too. Will he still want her after he recalls the memory of walking into his bedroom and seeing Wyatt curled around her like a blanket as the two slept in Liam's bed?

Steffy avoided spending the night with Liam his first night back at the house. Perhaps Katie and Bill babysat Liam, and I'm surprised that spending twenty-four hours in that house didn't flood Liam with memories. Equally odd is that he didn't tear that house up from top to bottom, looking for pictures and memorabilia to help him remember more. He was obsessed with memory at the cabin. Liam apparently remembers enough to know Wyatt has gone after every "frickin'" woman Liam has ever dated.

Liam spent night two of freedom at the hospital, finally getting tests, one of which was an overnight sleeping test. Wyatt figured Liam would wonder where Steffy was. When Liam got home the next morning, he didn't question why Steffy hadn't been at the hospital, and he assumed she wasn't home because she was at work still. Still? Liam needs to go back to the hospital for a recheck. Steffy would not be at work "still" at breakfast time.

Steffy wound up not even going to work because, when Bill figured out that Liam was more interested in eloping than shaving that mountain of fur off his face, Bill called Steffy to say she'd better tell Liam she was already married before Bill did.

Liam eventually shaved before Bill could take a lawnmower to Liam's face, and the result was a bushy goatee. Frankly, I'm too preoccupied with that thing on Rick's head to worry about Liam's Fraggle Rock goatee. Why did they put that thing on Jacob Young? I looked at his Twitter pictures, and they make my lips pucker. In the pictures, he's got a full head of his own hair. He needs no hair beanies, people.

Okay, back on topic. Steffy arrived at the house and let Liam know she hadn't been living there. No one had. There had been no food there, and the place had been dusty. So what's she trying to say? That I need to give up on Bu the Cat? Well, Deacon survived weeks in the ocean. Bu was an adopted alley cat. I believe he's out there somewhere, and Liam should be banned from any more animal adoptions.

Liam wanted to elope and assumed that he and Steffy had already had a grand wedding on whatever that mountain's name was. It was Ajax, Liam, and the wedding was anything but grand. Grand is getting married to Hope in Italy beside the sea while a bird poops on Steffy's head. The Ajax wedding was actually the wedding thrown together in a day. Liam might want to hold off on a quickie wedding until he can put his entire memory puzzle together.

The day that Liam was found, Steffy told Bill that Liam had been gone for a month to six weeks. This week, she placed Liam's trip around the world in the New Year's timeframe. Still not enough time for Steffy to hook up with and marry Liam's brother. Sorry, it's not. In Wyatt's view, married is married. That's true, Wyatt, but you learned from Hope that divorced is divorced. Thanks to Steffy's obstinacy, we know the difference between divorce and annulment, and Liam suggested that Steffy get the quickie annulment.

When Liam learned he'd been beaten to the altar, he was about as unhappy as Hope had been when Steffy had gotten the wedding jump on her. "Who is this man who took my place and married you?" Liam demanded to know. Took his place? It's not that simple. "Umm, excuse me. I think you're in my spot. Yeah, see, it's marked 'Steffy's husband.' Yeah, so if you could just -- scoot on over...."

Wyatt is like that jerk who won't let you back in your place in line when you step half out to reach the gum stand at the register. You step backward and bump right into him. "Excuse me," you say, but he will not step backward to let you have the other half of your spot back. You awkwardly stand there with him breathing down your neck and try to put your stuff on the conveyer belt faster than him so that the next person in line is no longer in dispute.

Except Liam stepped all the way out of line. In fact, Liam disappeared to the stockroom, and when he returned, he expected to jump to the front of the line.

Liam had been abducted, and he'd been tricked into staying with his captor. Charlie made it sound sexy, saying Liam probably missed his vegan snacks when he'd been Quinn's "cabin boy." What? Really? Wyatt was no better, telling Liam that he looked like he'd been enjoying himself in bed with Quinn.

First off, Wyatt needs to stop telling people he found Liam in bed with his mother. Liam was on the bed, fully dressed. So was Quinn. She was kissing Liam. Nothing else was going on. If Wyatt considers that "in bed" together, he'll definitely stammer when Liam remembers Wyatt beneath the covers, half-naked and sleeping with Steffy. That sight might have scarred Liam into blocking the memory.

Secondly, why is it a joke or made light of that Liam and Quinn had a sexual relationship? If Liam had done this to Quinn, there would be no end to the on-screen disgust. The best we get is a bonus scene of Thomas, Caroline, Katie, and Bill cringing about it. Yeah, Bill ought to be cringing. Half the time, Quinn was goading him into rough sex he didn't even want at first. Has he even asked Liam if it had been consensual or if Liam feels he might have been raped?

Wyatt tells Liam that he was a victim, but so what, because Wyatt was Quinn's victim all his life? Wyatt thinks Liam needs to suck it up and stop demanding his place in line back because neither the world, nor Wyatt, owes Liam anything.

Wow. Just wow. Your mother, at minimum, probably rapes your brother, which you said was criminal and totally inexcusable. I'd like to know, Wyatt, when did Quinn rape you while falsifying pictures to make you think you were her husband? Keeping Wyatt's paternity from him is not even in the same league, and instead of telling Liam to suck it up, Wyatt needs to be getting Liam some counseling.

Liam is acting like it's no big deal that he has spent months locked away from the world, only talking to Quinn and having sex with his worst enemy. People would tell a woman that she was repressing her feelings and probably has posttraumatic stress disorder. Liam? Well, he's a man and probably enjoyed himself. The writers have sickened me to gloss over this important social disparity between the sexes when it comes to women perpetrating crimes like this.

As for right now, Steffy is trying hard to uphold her marriage vows. No matter the circumstances of his disappearance, Liam was gone. She blamed it on text messages he'd supposedly sent and what he'd said when she'd last seen him. She should have let him hear the voicemail that she'd told Bill she'd saved. If I were Steffy, I'd tell him to hear himself and then tell her what she should have done.

Is Wyatt right? Does Liam need to suck it up and move on? Or does Liam deserve to for Wyatt to give Liam's spot back? Further, Liam accused Wyatt of being in on the kidnapping. Was that a justified accusation, even if it wasn't true?

Sasha isn't stepping aside or honoring Nicole's "dibs" on Zende. I can't even fathom what was on Vivienne's mind to make her suggest that Sasha put things on hold until Nicole can compete. The whole problem with Zende started because he had to wait. What does Viv think he'll do if Sasha steps out of her spot? He'll probably sex up the Vanessa employee that used to grin at him at the sky lounge.

Zende is a dirty-suspender-wearing dog. He just is. Sasha already knows she's a slut. She said to Viv that people have called her that before, but in comparison to what Zende is doing to her, I have to say that she's an honest slut. I thought Zende was just a puppy at this player game -- until he told Nicole that he was not in love with "that girl," but when he confronted "that girl" about telling Nicole such a thing, he never corrected "that girl" about his feelings. Instead, he let Sasha go on about how she'd never had a man talk to her like that before.

Zende let Sasha kiss him and get all hot and bothered. She seemed to want to have sex backstage, but he asked if she was forgetting something. Her eyes whirled as she thought. "Uhm, a condom?" I expected her to say. It was a photo shoot that she'd already stuffed herself into a teddy for.

Which reminds me -- at one point this week, Rick reviewed some photos asked Zende not to show them to Ridge because Rick wanted Sasha for International. Maya has been very vocal, and correct, in asking Zende why he'd hook up with Nicole's best friend. If Rick and Maya want to end Nicole's heartache, it's as easy as shipping Sasha off to Paris...Paris...or Zende...? Sasha would say "au revoir" so fast.

Pam, Maya, Rick, Viv, and Julius discussing Sasha, Nicole, and Zende accentuated how high school it all sounds. The older adults seemed more like school coaches, counselors, or teachers handling hormonal teens, not over-twenty-one adults. I've given up trying to figure out why Viv and Julius are at Forrester instead of at their own places of employment -- if they have places of employment. Why can't someone hire Viv as Carter's assistant or give Thorne's old job to Julius?

No matter what I think about Zende, I did agree with him on one thing -- and he didn't even say a word. The expression on his face when he was at Liam's welcome back party said it all. Caroline and Maya were cooing over a message from Nicole about being with Douglas. Maya was all like, "Oh, she's practicing being an auntie!" Zende looked at Maya like, "That's what you think."

I don't know what Zende was thinking, but Maya's crazy to believe Nicole will see herself as an auntie to the baby she gestated. At the very least, she's gonna be shadowing that child worse than Thomas does Douglas. Thomas even managed to interject into a conversation that he treats his car like his "baby."

Many things happened this week, and I wish I could comment on them all. Fortunately, our message board has a weekly "Shaking my Head" thread in which posters point out things I wish I had time to cover. Here are a few things you guys picked up on this week:

• SMH at the mess they must've had to clean up after DD sloshed that "vodka" bottle and its contents ...around all over the place and then threw the bottle into the sink and broke it.-- LMSG

• SMH that Thomas wants Caroline to trust and confide in him. The way she did before, Thomas, when you took advantage of her? -- nykarenb

• SMH that Liam would tell Steffy that they've never been over. Really? So all his many weddings to Hope and his short-lived marriage to Ivy were just imaginary? ... SMH at Bill telling Wyatt how great Liam and Steffy have always been at communicating with each other. If they were, none of this mess would have happened. -- Xlya

• SMH at Charlie and Pam congratulating Charlie on his detective work at finding the footage of Quinn kidnapping Liam as if that is the reason Liam is home now.... SMH at Wyatt for implying Liam enjoyed being Quinn's captive... "While you and my mother were playing in the Garden of Eden." --Savvytabby.

The best part of this week was seeing so many characters on-screen. Carter was the only unexplained missing person this week, though Maya at least mentioned a meeting with him. The party intrigue surrounding Rick was fun, even if Ridge can easily dispel the mystery by simply telling Rick that he had indeed been at the restaurant. Being at Il Giardino wasn't any secret, but Ridge turned it into a corporate incident for Rick when Ridge lied and avoided the topic.

In other tidbits, this had to be Ugly Shirt Week for the men. The biggest offender was Thomas in a horizontal, vertical button-up that might have given me vertigo. He followed it up Friday with a white shirt with polka dots. Bill sported polka dots, too, but the lighter blue dots were more subtle on his blue shirt. I wanted to have a picnic on Rick's blue checkered shirt, and Liam's plaid shirt highlighted Liam's desire to continue dressing like drab Adam. Wyatt, on the other hand, displayed a nice physique in the airy, army-green linen button-up.

Besides the fact the Caroline's skirt seemed to be wearing her this week, some on the message board have other musings. Some wonder if Katie is out for revenge on Ridge and when Steffy had time to color her hair. Some ask if Liam should wash his hands of Wyatt and if Wyatt is really the sane one between the two brothers.

What's your nagging question or comment? Post it on the B&B board or below to let us know what you think! For any Prince fans out there, Prince once said, "With love, there is no death. Love God." Notice that Prince said nothing about taxes, so I hope you paid up. Love God and stay bold and beautiful, baby!

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