Of pimps and parents

Los Angeles bubbled with baby talk, and some people boo-hooed like babies about others touching their toys. Families united despite their differences, but one maverick hokey-pokeyed with his family ties in the name of Aussie attraction and Spencer rivalry. Get the scoop on who's really protecting their families, and who's pimping people to get their way this week on the Bold and the Beautiful.

Who else got a little afternoon sickness this week from all the baby talk floating around on our favorite soap? If I never see another exam room, it will be too soon. We spent most of the week cooped up in doctors' offices with Nicole and Caroline half-dressed under paper blankets. Some things are best left to the imagination -- especially in the case of Rick, who elected to have a heart-to-heart with his sister-in-law while standing two feet from his swimmers' starting gate.

Awkward! The way Rick walked up on Nicole, I almost thought he'd say, "You know, wouldn't it be great to give Maya a baby naturally? I mean, I'm here. You're here..."

Of course, Rick is too much of a gentleman for that. Lucky him; he got to leave the room before the insemination. Not us, though. We had to sit through, not imagine, Dr. March maneuvering Rick's sperm inside the tense Nicole while Maya grinned in that odd, porcelain-doll way of hers.

I'm glad it's over, and I hope the procedure takes the first time so we don't have to tolerate another attempt. The wait to see if it worked must be horrible for Nicole. She probably can't even pass Rick the eggs and milk over breakfast without thinking about it. Next week, we should find out if it took, but right now, we can thank the heavens that the debate about Nicole doing it finally ended.

For all his bravado and attempted pimping of Zende, Julius ultimately gave up fighting and used parenting to appeal to his daughters to stop the insemination. Vivienne yielded her newfound backbone like a loving sword in the Avants' effort to get through to Nicole and Maya. They lost the battle, but they might have won some common ground with their daughters.The Avants give our show the Stephanie Forrester feel it's been lacking since Susan Flannery's retirement. Like Stephanie, Julius is brash, ineloquent, manipulative, and pushy. Like Eric, Vivienne is soft, concerned for all, and tactful with words. In contrast, Vivienne can do what Eric was unable to do with Stephanie -- rein Julius in.

Amazingly, Julius stopped speaking when Vivienne told him to, and Julius let Vivienne take over in the conversations when needed. Julius spoke those hard truths to Maya, and Vivienne took care of the emotional side of things with Nicole. They played good-parent/bad-parent well, and in the end, it became clear that Julius loves his girls, even if he still talks to Maya more like a son than a daughter.

Julius believes that women will soon be clamoring all over Zende, and if the new character Sasha has been cast for this storyline, Julius might be right. Carter already told Zende that he has to live for now, and we've heard way too many warnings about the strains this surrogacy will put on the young relationship. If Sasha has been brought in for Zende, we might see a plot reminiscent of the one where Steffy played on Hope's abstinence in a fight for Liam's affections.

Nicole has everything to lose and not much to gain. She sees the pregnancy as a gift to herself and to Maya, but will it become a curse for Nicole when she's delivered the baby and Maya becomes the mother? Can Nicole, whose body will be ready to breast-feed, live in the same house with her baby and resist the urge to mother it?

Nicole will have nesting instincts, too. Being around Rick, having him fawn over her and caress her belly, might be emotionally confusing. Wyatt stated in the meeting this week that they probably wouldn't see Nicole until the baby was born. It was a glaring hint that the first-try insemination will work, and Nicole will then put her career on hold for Maya's happiness in exchange for even more time alone, focusing on the baby.

There seems to be a lot of sacrificing from Nicole, and no matter how many times Maya claims she isn't forcing anything on Nicole, Maya makes out like the sister pimp of the week. She gets the baby she wants, genetically designed as she wants, and carried by the person she wants. She gets to control the pregnancy every step of the way, while Nicole becomes a prisoner of incubation.

Unfortunately, the barely adult Nicole made her choice and must live with the pickled-ice-cream consequences and stretch marks. Maybe I'll buy Nicole some conciliatory cocoa butter as a gift for her baby shower. Oh, wait. It will be Maya's baby shower, though, won't it? -- Or will it? I need an invitation and a front-row seat to see which sister gets all the gifts and attention and which one is left scowling.

Along with the Avants, Rick's parents got to have their say, too. It wasn't surprising that Brooke and Eric fully supported whatever their son wanted to do. Brooke and Eric sat around the mansion, cooing about a new, local grandbaby. It will live in that very house, and according to Eric, Brooke can live there, too, if she wants.

The euphoric Eric invited Brooke to live at the mansion. The baby excitement must have made him forget that he gave Rick the house, and there isn't room for another matriarch. Likewise, Eric forgot that he really does parent like the Avants. He told Brooke that they weren't like Rick's in-laws, and he couldn't remember any race against time where he'd tried to talk one of his children into or out of anything.

Cue the flashback music, and we'll take Eric back to his rush against time to break up Thorne and Brooke. We'll recall the lengths Eric went through to rid Bridget of Deacon and Rick of Amber. Here's a fond memory: "Get your ass back to Brooke where you belong!" Eric forgot about that one, huh?

As for Brooke moving into the mansion with him, Eric couldn't promise he wouldn't make a bid for her affections, too. Brooke promptly said she had her own house, so we can assume those drunken empty-nest days are done. She didn't seem excited at all about moving into the mansion, and I don't blame her. Eight is enough already -- Zende, Thomas, Rick, Eric, Maya, Nicole, Ivy, and the baby. Do they really need another matriarch fighting for wall space?

The minute Brooke tries to move in there, Julius and Vivienne will be right behind her. Pam and Charlie should drop the lemon bars and start strategizing to get control of the kitchen come Thanksgiving. Eric needs to plan another Houdini holiday escape to the theater with his martini shaker, far away from the cesspool of a mansion.

Oh, it will be a cesspool. Ivy lives there with Thomas, who's known to break out the strip poker at will. It won't be long before Wyatt's hanging out in the bushes, spying on the pair skinny-dipping in the pool, and Ivy's claiming that Thomas was merely saving her choking on her bikini strings.

Nicole lives there with Zende, and Zende's already tactfully told Julius that the couple doesn't have to put "everything" on hold due to the pregnancy. Let's see what Maya says about Zende desecrating Nicole's womb while Maya's second coming of Christ gestates in Nicole's belly.

Nicole also lives there with Rick, whose baby she's carrying. You have to be Taylor carrying Brooke's baby not to bond with the child or father while living under the same roof. By Christmas time, Rick and Nicole will be as close as Joseph and Mary, and Maya's head will spin like Linda Blair's in The Exorcist.

Maya claims to love Nicole and Rick so much for giving her all her dreams. It's so easy to love when one always gets her way, isn't it? Will Maya be selfless or selfish when mother and father vote her off the parent team? If Ridge feels so bonded with Caroline and her baby, does Rick stand a chance of avoiding the parent trap with Nicole and his very own child?

Julius and Vivienne did a pretty decent job with their parental guidance at the hospital with Nicole; however, even I had to feel sorry for Maya when Julius expressed his feelings about Nicole. Julius called Nicole the most perfect thing he'd ever done. Ouch. What does that make Maya?

Julius told Zende that Julius couldn't give his advice to the son he'd once had, so he'd give it to Zende. Another ouch for Maya. Nicole said she and Maya together could give Julius the grandchild he thought Maya couldn't, but Julius said the child wouldn't carry on his name. Ouch again for Maya.

Out of Maya's presence, Vivienne shut Julius up before he could articulate to Rick's parents that he wouldn't have had Myron had he known he'd become Maya. Vivienne asked if he could at least be happy for Rick and Maya, but Julius changed the subject to Eric's famous martinis. As Eric went to make some drinks, Vivienne scowled at her husband.

Julius isn't over Myron's transition. Julius is bitter about Maya trying to use Nicole's body for her own goals. He's upset that the baby can't carry his name because Myron became Maya and married a man. Had Myron remained Myron and married a woman, Julius would then have a chance at a male grandchild to carry his name.

It's understandable that Julius called Maya selfish. It's because the family has to give up their desires and play DNA Twister to give Maya her dreams. It must be hard to live with it when other people make choices that pretty much destroy your own dreams for yourself. Maya's choices destroyed his dreams of having a son and grandson with the Avant name. It's probably why Julius has been hell-bent upon Maya's desires not messing up Nicole's dreams.

However, Julius said Nicole had never had someone "so on her side" as he was. He needs to be on Maya's side the same way -- which means letting his dreams go and embracing her. Whether she's Maya or Myron, Maya is still the same person inside. So, Julius, find peace, and do what Vivienne's is doing -- hope things turn out the way the children think they will. And for goodness sake, train yourself to talk to Maya as a daughter, like you do to Nicole, and not as a grown son.

From our Two Scoops comments last week, here's how some of you feel about the storyline:

• As soon as Maya and Rick saw Nicole's reaction after hearing they're ready to make the appointment, they should have told her, "No. We are not doing this. Thanks for agreeing, but we will find another way." Instead, it's "we're not pressuring you, only if you're comfortable," etc. -- Suzie Realist

• I think Brooke and Eric should began dating again and let them fall in love and rekindle things between them. She and Eric can guide the Forester family together. It would be great to see Brooke's picture over the mantel. -- Lisa K.

Tell us more of what you think. Has Nicole found a love like Rick and Maya's, or is Julius right about Zende being unable to control his youthful hormones long enough to wait? Will Julius take a page from Stephanie's book and pimp the new Sasha out to Zende in hopes of bringing Nicole to her senses?

While we wait for one pregnancy to start, the other B&B pregnancy is SORASing through the stratosphere. Caroline's baby bump cropped up out of nowhere, and she cannot stop rubbing it. Her baby is so far along that it was applying for internships, sketching lingerie, and posing for selfies during the sonogram.

Viewers want to know how far along Caroline is in her pregnancy. Dr. Li only said far enough to hear the heartbeat but doesn't indicate how far along "far enough along" is. When Dr. Li revealed the child on-screen, we saw that it has elbows, kneecaps, ears, and an adult set of teeth. Either Caroline is a year pregnant by Rick, or that big baby is Ridge's.

If it's Thomas' baby, the producers should have chosen another sonogram of a baby at around eight weeks. Eight weeks is about how long ago Thomas and Caroline's foggy night occurred -- in real time. In reel time, Caroline just learned she was pregnant about two weeks ago, and back then, the doctor didn't know how far along she was.

The more ambiguous the script is about the conception time, the more apparent it becomes that the writers don't want us to know it. Some viewers think it's because Ridge is really the father. Some viewers have faith in Ridge's fertility doctor and feel that the conception date doesn't matter because Ridge can't conceive. Well, how many times do soaps SORAS pregnancies? On the other hand, how many times are soap doctors wrong -- or are there soapy medical miracles?

I hope Thomas isn't the father. He has too many oats unsewn and isn't good father material. I know, I know. Who is on this show? Thomas disappoints me, though. It's just like Steffy said -- he's always after unavailable women. Brooke, Hope, Caroline, Nicole, and Ivy.

The Brooke thing was just yuck! The Hope thing was Steffy's fault. I don't know why Steffy acted like it wasn't. She and Bill would have married Thomas off if it would have kept Hope away from Liam.

Thomas went after Caroline, knowing she had eyes for Rick. Thomas had no compunction about kissing Nicole at the onset of her and Zende's relationship, but hey, there wasn't a ring on her finger, so it doesn't count. Then there's Ivy -- his second cousin.

"Ewww!" Just like Steffy said. Though Steffy has no room to talk after Uncle Rick "owned her ass" a few years ago. She has no room to talk about going after unavailable people, either, and I'm sure you don't need a list of her unavailables. Somehow, the creepy Thomas learned to talk out of both sides of his mouth, and in the same conversation with Steffy, he dismissed his Forrester relation to Ivy but lorded his Forresterhood over Wyatt and Liam.

Thomas wants to claim Forresterhood when it's convenient -- like while spouting off to Liam and Wyatt in the meeting. But when it comes to scoring some Aussie tail, he sheds that Forrester skin faster than a rattlesnake in the Outback. People are right about Thomas. He ignores boundaries. Maybe that's why Bill likes him.

Yes, other characters ignore boundaries, too, but right now, it's Thomas' time in the slimelight. To me, he's slimy for renouncing his Forresterhood to flirt with Ivy but hokey-pokeying back into the Forrester camp long enough to disparage Liam and Wyatt for not being "actual Forresters."

Thomas doesn't know what he wants. Does he want to be a Forrester powerhouse or a Marone Romeo? Does he want Caroline or to flirt with every skirt on or off the market? He's busy hitting on Ivy while Charlotte is probably crying in her colored paperclips. Sarah, the model, is probably waiting alone in her hot tub.

What's Thomas doing in the meantime? Flirting with orderlies on his way to his doctor's appointment. Pam better warn her new mini-Pam intern to hide her pearls before Thomas charms the poor girl right out of them. With all this "harmless flirting" going on, would Thomas want to be a father right now? The flirting could all be Thomas' way of masking his feelings for Caroline. Maybe if he is her baby's father and knows it, he'd want to settle down with only her.

At the moment, Thomas' main concern seems to be how to get back into Ridge's good graces. When Thomas said he was done dating women Ridge didn't approve of, Steffy looked at him like, "What guilt-trip shampoo were you brainwashed with?"

Steffy gave her brother many sideways looks this week. At one point, she looked as if she wanted to knock him out for the flagrant way he disregarded dating relationships. The way he harped on women without rings on their fingers wasn't lost on Steffy, either.

Ivy used to proudly say that Liam was her boyfriend. Now it's Steffy's turn to wear the word out. What's Liam's problem with settling down? Is he scared that if he has another wedding day, Hope will pop out from the bachelor party cake, announcing that she's back and they aren't over?

If rings are Thomas' kryptonite, Steffy can nip her Ivy problem in the bud by pushing Wyatt to propose. Are we surprised that Steffy even still has an Ivy problem? I rolled my eyes when Steffy dragged that dead kangaroo out to beat it again. "How could you like her after what she did to me?" Steffy whined. Thank you, Thomas, for telling her to get over it and herself. I don't recall Steffy caring about what Rick or Bill had done to Ridge when she hooked up with them.

Speaking of Bill, he said he preferred Caroline with Thomas, but how wide Bill's nose will flare when Wyatt and Liam tell him how Thomas really feels about the Spencers? Thomas said the Spencers were jealous because the publishing industry was waning, and Liam and Wyatt would rather work for an established clothing company. It sounds like Thomas' attitude toward the Spencer men could reignite Wyatt's desire for a Spencer fashion house.

A girl can dream, can't she? Until next week, stay bold and beautiful, baby!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.