Breaking records with broken records

The Bold and the Beautiful didn't break the record in Daytime Emmy nominations, but the characters broke records of enormously redundant portions. It was another week where residents need to stop singing the same old tunes, progress to MP4s, and leave the broken records about Quinn, secrets, and Forrester takeovers in the dust. Figure out who stopped talking about it and started being about it this week on B&B.

The characters were yapping the same old phrases this week, and day turned to night enough times to grow a beard on Eric. People changed their clothes, too, even if not their tunes -- unlike last May when, during a Polar Night in Los Angeles, they wore the same clothes while three days passed in Abu Dhabi.

Maya switched out of that gray blazer that I love despite her audacity to wear it to Forrester, paired with faux stretch jeans. I also liked the modest black dress Nicole wore to the jet. It cut at the knee, but Maya still wanted Nicole to cover up. Rick changed from one pastel tie to another, and Quinn slipped out of her wedding gown and into a sweaty bed sheet with Deacon. Viewers appreciate the change in days and clothes but need a serious change in conversation before they seriously change the channel.

Yes, the Bold and the Beautiful has 19 deserved Emmy nominations -- don't we deserve some fresh dialogue? To relieve some B&B broken-record stress this week, I've created an Emmy category of my own. Join me as I nominate the biggest broken-record topics and phrases this week and help me award the character with the biggest one-track mind.

First up -- Liam Spencer. How many times must he rant about Rick's treatment of Ivy and Caroline? His needle was stuck deep in this repetitive track even though he knew Caroline and Rick's email relationship was on the upswing. Ironically, when Caroline complained to him in a phone call, he replied that he'd thought the estranged relationship between the spouses had improved. If he thought that, then why has he been squawking all week about her maltreatment like a circling vulture?

Liam played his broken record for Maya and sang his same old tune to Rick at the mansion instead of taking decisive action. Bill's proud that he's chiseled Liam into a chip off the old block, but if Liam were even a quarter of a true Dollar Bill, Liam would have long ago planted listening devices at Forrester. I'm surprised Bill hasn't already sent Liam and Wyatt over there with pockets full of them. And that's why Bill is the second nominee for repetitive phrases and inaction.

All Bill does is sit in on power meetings with Katie and Liam to discuss Mission Secret, Rick the Tyrant, and the sole god of the universe -- Bill Spencer. Until Friday, he seemed content to leave the fate of his twelve and half percent in Forrester to his Dumb and Dumber sons, but finally, his Spencer senses were piqued after he heard about Dumber's magic carpet ride on the jet.

Why hasn't Bill reamed Alison or Justin a new one for not being the first ones to tell him that there was a secret? Aren't they Spencer drones with secret-seeking apps on board? Bill needs to get his head out of Katie's bosom and upgrade his drones to super-snoop mode.

Without listening devices, Liam and Wyatt have resorted to Pam's go-to eavesdropping ploy, and apparently, Maya's brain finally stopped skipping on the "No one can know" line long enough to realize she needs to stop talking about her personal business at work. Working at work might be good, too, Maya. Just saying.

Maya seems to have no time to model. She's too busy submitting redundant phrase reels for our new broken record category. She won the nomination for harping on her keeping her secret. Maya is so stuck on no one knowing that she can't remember how Carter found out -- which was by overhearing her run her mouth about it! After that scare, I was sure she wouldn't make the mistake of blabbing about it at work again. But she did make the mistake, not once but twice this week.

When Carter eavesdropped on Maya and Nicole, he wasn't anywhere near the door when Nicole left. Dumb Liam, on the other hand, didn't disappear when he heard Maya say anyone can hear her and Nicole. Maya shuffled -- loudly in those faux, stretch jeans -- to the door. By the time she opened it, Liam should have been down the hall, feeling the souffl ruffle of the display dress in the lobby. Instead, he almost stumbled onto Maya when she opened the door.

For that, I nominate Liam to the idiot category. As the sole nominee, he's a shoe-in.

At least Brainy Smurf Liam and his Nosy Smurf Ivy figured out that Liam should hang out at the mansion if they want to get the goods on the Forrester "monarchy." Once there, we heard another broken record speech from our next nominee, Gargamel Rick, about Azrael Maya being the top cat in the castle -- oh, hell, let's add the universe while we're at it. After all, she's "everything," according to Rick.

Liam's wasting precious screen time repeating his malcontent to Rick and Maya and snooping around, uncovering sexy pictures of Donna, when he should have been standing by Quinn as her best man at the wedding. Okay. Wait. I couldn't say that with a straight face, but if Wyatt's gonna be Liam's Double-O-Romeo-Snitch, can't Liam ease up on Quinn just a little? Maybe give the bride away? I mean, all she did was try to kill him. That's Ivy -- I mean, water -- under the bridge by now, right?

What a beautiful wedding for Quinn and Deacon, the couple who doesn't just talk about but are about it. Brooke and a video-call from Hope Headroom couldn't even stop them. I smiled while watching the exchanging of vows, proud to be an interloper at the wedding. In my view, the grinchy no-show guests missed a damn poignant ceremony and some good Il Gardino takeout and cake.

This is a turning point for Quinn, who might have really changed. Brooke leaving the wedding with her hair still on her head is evidence that Quinn might be redeemed. Will Quinn stay on the path to sanity with a few detours down Old Quinn Road? That remains to be seen. But as long as she's not crafting office supply weaponry, I can deal with her being cuckoo for Deacon's Puffs.

Deacon and Quinn also receive nominations for their broken record professions of love and devotion, but I do happen to find joy in their repetition.

Something's genuine and lasting about this couple. I don't see their marriage dead-ending on Backburner Drive. There are plenty of good storylines for them as long as Deacon insists upon clumsily mismanaging the female relationships in his life. He hasn't heard the last of Brooke or Hope's rants about Quinn. I also doubt that Quinn will sit back and let him defend her honor for too much longer. She's married now and free to unleash the dragon on Hope and Brooke.

Quinn's gown wasn't really what I expected of her, but what's a bride to do if Ridge or Eric Forrester isn't creating the gown. I expected her to wear black, but I'm glad she went traditional. It was nontraditional of Quinn to be traditional. Quinn was stunning in the simple white with a touch of black only on the nail of her ring finger.

During the ceremony, Wyatt said touching words. He acknowledged that Deacon had stood by Quinn, even when Wyatt hadn't. Wyatt also recognized that Quinn had devoted her life to him -- and it had actually been a life of happiness. Maybe now that the cloud of Hopelessness has passed, he can appreciate who his mother was before Hope came along.

Quinn incorporated an old marriage tradition into the wedding but put her own twist on it. She asked Carter to perform the fastening of hands with a black, silver-studded sash. It offered meaningful symbolism for their bond in marriage, and it additionally paid homage to Deacon and Quinn's love for bondage and studded toys. For that, I applaud the writers.

Deacon's marriage plans are to grow ancient with Quinn, have her outlive him, or for them to die together. He wants to spend every moment of his life with her, but how long is it really gonna last in Soap Land? And is Deacon's suggestion that they die together a clue to a plot involving their demise? Stay tuned. There might be a Thelma and Louise moment in the Sharps' future.

While Deacon and Quinn broke records of affection, Wyatt worked on his broken records of honesty, trust, and secrets with Nicole. Anyone else notice how fast he got all that wedding crap out of his house and put Nicole in it? I guess he called Aly to clean the place for the hope that he'd bejewel some ruby slippers to help her run from Rick, the Bad Witch of Oz. Imagine it. It works, I promise.

At the beach house, Nicole wanted a margarita, but Wyatt needs to check some IDs around there. Reign Edwards isn't even twenty, so how old is Nicole? The manipulator probably has a fake ID, but Wyatt could probably spot it just as quickly as Quinn spotted the inferiority of her diamond from across the room. An even bigger question is why Nicole's embarrassed by Wyatt's music collection but not his endless supply of "Brawny man" shirts. Blame it on the alcohol, I guess.

What Wyatt might need after tangling with Nicole is a twelve-step program. Liquor makes him loose at the lips. He's supposed to be getting information out of her, not erupting his own personal lava all over her. Then he keeps asking about Rick and Maya, not Nicole. Nicole should be asking how Wyatt knows nothing about Rick when Wyatt was married to Rick's sister.

Nicole's too busy doing the "I got me a Rick" dance to realize that Wyatt could have asked Ivy, Pam, Brooke, or Aly about Rick. Wyatt's got the hots for Nicole, too, but when did Wyatt become so inept at planning romantic "adventures?" And when did Liam become an expert at it?

Liam's exes, Brooke, Bill, and Wyatt usually plan Liam's romantic rendezvous. The best Liam can do for romance is light candles around the house and grill up some fake burgers. Though Wyatt came up with the romantic boat ride for Liam, I should have figured out that Wyatt being a romantic was a fake, too, when that broken record phrase, "going on an adventure" fumbled out of his mouth. It gave me flashes of silver bullet trailers and stowaway jet rides.

Wyatt informed Nicole that he rarely used his father's jet because he wanted to make his own way. His own way must have been the Forrester jet, because he and Hope burned a hole in the Ozone Layer, traveling on that thing. Now, with Liam's permission, faith, and warning to keep his heart on straight, Wyatt is on a magic carpet ride adventure to unearth Rick's secret. The kicker is -- Rick doesn't have any secrets.

When has Rick ever hidden anything except a clause in the irrevocable control document? Remember when he slept with Maya and opened the front door wide enough for Caroline and the world to see Maya in Brooke's robe? Rick has been pretty straight up. He hasn't hidden a single obnoxious, pompous, arrogant, snooty, sadistic, murderous thing about himself. Even so, Wyatt's mind popped at the altitude of forty thousand feet when he heard that the secret is really about Maya, and not Rick at all. How will this bode for the Spencer's master plan to take over Forrester?

The Spencers will be out of luck if Rick stands by Maya come hell or bad press -- or if he dumps Maya to cling to his CEO position. Will the suddenly moral Eric force Rick to step down if that happens? This is where Spencer Publications' media outlets must come into play. It's the only way to pressure Rick out, but to do that, Spencer would risk a massive backlash from the LGBT community, and Karen and Dani probably wouldn't stand for it.

While Wyatt's breaking records as a conniving Spencer Casanova, Rick's breaking sales records as a Forrester chain yanker -- uh, I mean CEO. Eric hails Rick's successes as the best the company has ever seen. But as Rick explained on Friday, he's a broken record in his personal life, which is frocked with epic failures. He wants to learn from his father and be a real chip off the old block, but in my view, he's already a real chip off the old block -- cow chip, that is.

Just like Eric, Rick brought another woman into his former wife's house, paraded her around in front of his former wife, and attempted to make his former wife bow down to the mistress. Now he's even thinking of proposing while married. I'm not at all surprised Eric condoned it and had the nerve to add that it would personify family values! Nothing says family values like moving another woman into the house and proposing to her while the ink on the divorce papers dries.

On the subject of family values, we heard a phrase this week that actually isn't on a broken record. In fact, I've never heard it before on this soap. "The Forresters and the Logans. Two great legacies," said Eric after Brooke remarked that Rick had brought more respectability to the family.

Logan and great legacy? Chuckle and cue the flashback...

In this flashback, Brooke has sex on the floor after discovering BeLieF. Donna looks like a lobster with green hair. Donna prances around in lingerie in front of Stephanie at Thorne's house. Brooke falls out of an elevator on top of Ridge -- in lingerie. Stephanie and Brooke fight on a bed on stage. Brooke humps Oliver to "Pose." Donna signs over shares to Bill. Katie, Donna, and Brooke pose as goddesses. Hope falls into a pool after popping pills. And lastly, Rick points to the number zero on the back of a model's tee shirt. Yes, zero. That's the Logan legacy.

To be fair, Brooke Logan has always been my favorite character. Yes, I see the flashbacks of her in the red suit with her blonde bun intact as she took over Forrester. I remember the growth of Forrester with Brooke's Bedroom and the Men's Line. I know, there would be no Forrester International without Brooke, and thank God, Katie had the good sense to promote HFTF over Steffy's Glamour line.

But to say Rick brought more respectability to the family? Well, I guess it's true now that Spencer forgot how to report fashion scandals. Good grief, even Nicole knows Spencer used to do that. But Liam tells Rick that Liam's the editor that writes Forrester's reviews. If Liam wanted to sink Rick, all he'd have to do is unmuzzle Jarrett.

How about an expos on the design-stealing Rick, who suddenly became CEO? Wouldn't it be juicy if Bill insisted upon broadcasting that Rick is a slave-driving menace who cheated on his wife with an ex-con? And do not tell me Bill wouldn't want to do that to Caroline. You know he would if it could get him what he needed. As we heard Friday, he cannot be bothered by a girl and her "little feelings." Katie knows that better than anyone after he slept with her to get his company back.

On the subject of the ex-con, Maya took more pills this week, and Carter discussed the emotional toll it must have taken on Maya to transition. It made me wonder how the transition happened and who she had been legally upon her arrest and incarceration -- Myron or Maya?

From what little Maya said about Jesse, the baby, and her transition, I created a back tory. I assume that Jesse's ex died during childbirth, and Maya met him at that time. Jesse robbed drug dealers to support his baby and get Maya the approximate fifty to seventy-five thousand dollars needed for top-notch procedures such as Maya's. Maya was anatomically Myron and had to be the same manipulator and gold-digger she is today to get Jesse to pay for it so fast.

I imagine that Jesse was an experienced robber. They'd been living comfortably, not extravagantly, but for the last robbery, he fatally attempted to rob a bank instead of his regular targets. When they got arrested, Maya bailed herself out on her lesser charges, but Jesse's bail was too high. He wanted her to use their savings for her surgery and to care for herself and the baby. Maya underestimated the mounting transition costs and maintenance post-surgery, and Maya and the baby wound up on Skid Row, where they met Dayzee.

I theorize that Maya finished the transition just in time for trial. Her birth certificate had said Myron, male, at the time of the arrest, but at trial, it was legally Maya, female. Her judge, prejudiced against transgender people, gave her the harsh sentence that she had to appeal.

Recall that Bill had her arrest record, and when he threatened her, he hinted to this very type of secret. It's a shame that the writers do not remember their own script, and Bill now acts like he never even investigated Maya. My jaw would drop to the floor if Bill approached Maya and said, "Remember that talk we had about your arrest record, Myron? I'm ready to call in that favor you owe me."

Reveal your predictions on how this will pan out during sweeps. In the meantime, here are a few tidbits from the week:

Caroline called Liam this week -- from a cell phone. Thank the image gods, because that big-assed land phone receiver she talked to Ridge on was not a good look for our Spencer Diva.

Ready to make bets on Caroline being pregnant? On the cousins' phone call, Liam asked why Caroline is taking such a long hiatus in the middle of her hot and heavy romance with Ridge. Caroline indicated that she was just visiting her mamas, but when Liam pressed her, she replied that he'd know soon enough. Add that phrase to the long, drawn-out talk Brooke had with Ridge about having kids with Caroline, and you get Caroline's pregnant. At least that's what I get. What do you think? Will Caroline be updating her social media status to "expecting?" And is there room for two designers and a baby in that loft?

Next, how did Brooke become the city's marital advisory board? First, she warns Ridge against marrying and having a family with Caroline. Next, she twists over to the beach house to stop Deacon and Quinn from fastening hands, and then she deters Rick from proposing to Maya. Oh, God. I just realized. She's becoming Stephanie, meddling in everyone else's business because she had none of her own. Whatever it is, it makes Brooke our last nominee this week for the broken records award.

Let me know who you think won the broken record award this week, and don't forget to support Jacob Young, (and/or) Scott Clifton, and Linsey Godfrey in their Emmy nomination categories when the program airs Sunday. I love all three actors and am hard-pressed to choose between Clifton and Young.

My favorite scene of Clifton's was wandering in Paris. He made me cry, and he wasn't even using words. He submitted the episode of the blowup in the bedroom during Hope and Wyatt's wedding reception. He and Darin Brooks rocked those scenes. They play well off each other.

Jacob Young went exactly where I thought he'd go with the explosion of Caroline and Rick's marriage. Young portrayed Rick's breakdown with palpable emotion. Young has this way of making me feel what Rick is feeling, even if I don't like what Rick is doing.

Linsey Godfrey was on the same page with Young for her Emmy reel submission. If there is one thing Godrey sold me on, it was Caroline's endless, boundless love for Rick. I was sure they'd get back together, and I experienced her pain and determination to save her marriage.

Let's wish our young stars the best of luck in their bids for supporting actor and actress. I wish Clifton and Young could both win. Let me know what you think of the reels, what reels you might have chosen, and how you feel about who winds up winning. Check out Soap Central's Emmy picks, and stay bold and beautiful, baby!

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