Jive stalkin'

This week's B&B played like a Saturday Night Fever album on a turntable. Deacon insisted Quinn was more than a woman. Quinn wanted to sing 'If I Can't Have You' as a lullaby to her unborn grandchild. And Hope may not be stayin' alive after a tumble down her backyard stairs! Shower yourself in unrestrained soapiness with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you say anything to justify your love? Did you literally take the cake? Did you wish you'd worn different shoes to your baby shower? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Well, Scoopers, with Kim Matula exiting the B&B canvas, I suppose it's more justifiable than usual that Hope was the only focus these past five episodes. Still, a little more balance would have been nice. It's one thing to run a story and another to have every other character commenting on that story. There were some interesting nuances, though, and at least a typical pregnancy twist happened in an atypical way. Steal away from those relentless Christmas commercials and join me for some Scoopin'!

Liam and Wyatt's next trip may be to Philadelphia because there were definitely glimmers of brotherly love. Of course, Wyatt has exhibited this before, such as after his mother nearly impaled Liam, then switched gears in his bid for Hope. So I couldn't tell whether Wyatt asking if Liam and Ivy had done it in Amsterdam was sincere or him working an angle. Besides, it wasn't clear during the remote if Livy had gone all the way, and Liam didn't kiss and tell here. Wonder why the show is being purposely vague?

Liam then got a visit from Hope, who had just come from a wonderful scene in which she opened up to Eric about her conflicting feelings regarding the Spencer brothers. Her honesty was refreshing, but perhaps she should have left well enough alone; running to Liam to talk about him kissing Ivy in Holland seemed unnecessary, to say nothing of getting into how Livy professed their love for each other. Mostly, it just seemed like an excuse to devote an episode to Amsterdam and to reuse all that footage.

Seriously! Between Liam, Hope, and Ivy, the show reran nearly every choice bit from that remote. We know, B&B: you went to Amsterdam. Can we just get on with the story? I'm really starting to feel there's too much talking on our show. People discuss everything, but not a whole lot actually happens. Hope's mindset is baffling, too. She gets all boo-hoo over Liam then talks about how excited she is about Wyatt and his baby in the same sentence. She's all over the map.

Meanwhile, Pam inexplicably called Deacon to tell him not to come to a baby shower he didn't know about in the first place. Now, why would she do that? Well, of course -- so Deacon could relay this information to Quinn. Deacon's always been sexy and sassy and a stirrer of you-know-what. Yet these days, he serves no purpose except to lend an ear to crazy Quinn. Sir Sharpe doesn't even venture outside of Quinn's apartment anymore! Deacon should be driving story, not pushing along someone else's.

As for Quinn, I've never seen anyone so anxious to become a grandmother. Winning Hope over is Ms. Fuller's only mission in life; I bet Quinn Artisan isn't even turning out product right now. Deacon tried to talk Quinn out of crashing Hope's baby shower, for all the good that did -- Quinn made a beeline straight for Casa Forrester, where she lingered by the door a microsecond before noticing something in an unknown direction. Suddenly, she was inside, surveying the action from the second floor landing.

Holy Sheila Carter! Back in 1995, the cornered villainess invited Ridge, Brooke, Eric, Stephanie, James Warwick, and Lauren to that very house for a showdown then appeared on that same landing with a gun, having evaded the surrounding police. I never knew how Sheila got in then, so Quinn spotting a secret entrance now is interesting, but check it -- Quinn doesn't know the house well enough to know that's there. And wouldn't Eric have cemented it over after Sheila nearly gunned everyone down 20 years ago?

Inside, the seemingly victorious Caroline sauntered up to "Myrna" in the week's only other storyline. "All of your stuff better be out of my house," Caroline gloated, evoking the snarky diva she had been in 2013. After all Caroline's recent whining, I rather missed her previous incarnation, though now Maya matched her claw for claw, bragging, "Rick's come back to me before." Caroline was way too quick to take back a man who cheated on her in retaliation for a few kisses. She's got nothing to be smug about.

Able to stand the sugary baby shower festivities no longer, Quinn gingerly made her way downstairs and appealed to the livid ladies in attendance. But Hope stopped them from throwing Quinn out, suddenly asking her mother-in-law to stay, pulling her into a hug, and calling her "mom." My jaw is still bruised from where it hit the floor. I have to admit, B&B got me; usually, I can tell a fantasy a mile off, but this one I didn't clue into until seconds before the reveal. Shades of Lauren and Sheila in Catalina!

I don't put stock in spoilers, but I'd read one saying Hope was going to slap Quinn. I cop to being disappointed it didn't happen; instead, Quinn waited 'til everyone was outside, cut herself a huge hunk of cake, then slinked away. Quinn did make some insightful confessions, revealing she didn't have any family when Wyatt was born and that, while she had held things together while raising him, she had regressed since. However, these admissions were only in her fantasy. Color me intrigued.

It's official: Liam is not the most compelling character when mired in romantic ring-around-the-rosie, but get him ready to battle Quinn, and he comes alive like nobody's business. Rightfully suspecting that Quinn fancied herself a surprise gift for Hope's baby shower, Liam arrived at Quinn Artisan to head her off -- only to find the swarthy Deacon answering the door. Liam was palpably grossed out as Deacon said he had needs and that Quinn "checked all the boxes." Liam was like, "Thanks for sharing, Deacon."

But here's the thing -- Liam is absolutely right. Quinn is prone to violence and is a loose cannon who would certainly turn on Deacon if she viewed him as a threat. Deacon knows this; after all, he stared down the barrel of her gun for accusing her of murdering Ricardo Montemayor. So how can Deacon sit there and justify having a relationship with her? If Deacon Sharpe has ever had one salient quality, it's self-preservation. So it's unfathomable he'd do anything except run, not walk, to the nearest exit here.

Not to mention, Deacon is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic (he joined A.A. in 2003), yet now he's inviting people to join him in a glass of whiskey. Why is B&B ignoring this important part of Deacon's history? Maybe Deacon has fallen off the wagon; looking at life through an alcoholic haze is the only way to explain why he's allowing himself to hook up with Quinn, given she threatened to kill him and almost killed Liam. I nearly cheered when Liam reminded Deacon how he almost died at her hands.

Liam stayed behind and waited for Quinn, whose pilfered piece of pastry told her once-intended murder victim everything he needed to know. Quinn insisted that she had mellowed since Hope got pregnant with her grandchild, and Liam nearly softened before roaring that he would protect Hope from her "as long as I am breathing." Not the smartest thing to say to a woman who tried to turn you in to a shish kebab, Liam! That said, Liam and Quinn's adversarial chemistry is still off the charts.

Across town, Bill, another character who isn't always the sharpest sword necklace in the collection, followed in Liam's footsteps by telling a worried Wyatt to stop whining and just get a restraining order against Quinn already. Dollar Bill Spencer as the voice of common sense? Never thought I'd see the day. Hope told Wyatt she wanted a restraining order weeks ago. Although I did smirk a little when Bill said, "Hope needs to be protected." Yeah, not long ago, Bill, she needed that protection from you.

Justin's favorite movie must be Grease, because he apparently applied so much of it to the legal process that he got Wyatt his restraining order faster than you can sing "You're the One That I Want." I agree papers should be filed (which rather stupidly don't take effect until Wyatt serves them to Quinn; good one, legal system), but how can they really stop Quinn? Because she'll go to jail if she violates the order? Just tell the cops she almost killed Liam! That'd put her in prison orange immediately!

Hope and Ivy had an interesting moment while packing up Hope's baby shower stash. They discussed how Liam would always be protective of Hope after he called asking if Quinn had shown up at the party. Ivy very maturely conceded that any woman who got involved with Liam would have to accept Hope as a part of his life, and Hope seemed genuinely glad Liam was moving on with someone like Ivy. Strangely, I like these two as friends. Hope and Steffy had too much familial baggage for a friendship.

Liam, still donning his superhero outfit from having confronted Quinn and her cake, flew to Hope's side to inform her she'd had an unexpected guest at the shower. There was too much mention by too many characters that Liam would always watch out for Hope; we got it, Captain Obvious. Liam told Hope to focus on taking care of her baby and that he would take care of Quinn. This woman tried to kill him. What does Liam really think he can do to stop her, throw another tantrum?

Agreeing with Quinn's request to call Hope on her behalf, Deacon got blown off trying to appeal to his daughter, though the brief conversation seemed engineered just so Deacon could tell Quinn where Hope was. Naturally, Quinn ignored Deacon's pleas to back off and went right over to Brooke's house to have another talk with her resistant daughter-in-law. I liked how Hope freaked out on her; I even thought the stress would cause the pregnant Mrs. Spencer to go into a dead faint.

But then, the scene went a little awry. Not getting anywhere with Hope, Quinn wanted to continue their chat in the garden and headed out the door. Did Hope walk away in the other direction? Grab her ubiquitous cell phone and call the cops on her stalker? Lock Quinn out as soon as she got outside? No, Scoopers. Hope followed Quinn into the backyard. I kid you not! If this were Quinn's first offense, I could understand it, but what was Hope thinking? Was she high on her prenatal vitamins?

It was pretty obvious the whole scenario was contrived so that Hope would be on a staircase while fighting with Quinn, who relented and promised she'd stay away from now on. For the second time in a day, Quinn left with her tail between her legs, while Hope stood there, trying to process what had just happened. Mrs. Logan-Spencer then took a step, her shoe unexpectedly collapsing. This caused her to lose her balance and tumble down the stairs like a Slinky on acid!

Really? The pregnant-woman-falling-down-the-stairs trick was already old by the time Gone With the Wind made it famous 75 years ago. Every soap has done it since. Couldn't we have come up with something more original? At least Steffy falling off her motorcycle was a unique twist. And so much for my wanting Quinn to kidnap Hope and be forced to deliver her baby. I knew as soon as everyone started talking about how happy Hope was going to be that this kid wasn't going to be born.

I get that pretty much anything that happens on a soap has to create conflict and drama. But must every pregnancy be fraught with chaos? And, given that the ladies of B&B rarely actually give birth, they should be locking themselves in closets as soon as they find out they're expecting. I can't imagine, with Kim Matula leaving, that Hope's child is going to survive. Of course, Quinn will be blamed. At least Hope falling because of her shoe, and not Quinn, was a neat, random twist. Very Six Feet Under.

What is your favorite Hope moment? Your least favorite? Do you think the show will be fresher with her gone or that Hope's absence will leave too big a hole? Serve up two scoops of your own on the Soap Central message boards, in the Comments section below, or simply click here to submit Feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column, like these! Check it out!

• "One word [regarding the past week on B&B]: Quinntastic! #TeamQuinn" -- BnBScreencaps

• "Not sure about [B&B] lately. It has lost sight of its roots. I thought maybe bringing on Eric's brother [John] would also bring back Maggie Forrester and Ivy's sister [Jessica]. As for Quinn, she is another crazy Morgan or Sheila. [Give] Carter a storyline and bring back Thorne and CJ and Clarke to have a real fashion house rival...get back to the roots and even give the Logans a story." -- Carla

• "Do not recast Hope. Let her go off to have her baby and raise it away from Quinn..." -- Linda

• "I have been watching Y&R and B&B for as long as I can remember! I love both shows! The only reason I keep watching B&B is for Hope and Liam to be together! And now for Rick and Caroline to be together! I am upset all the characters are changing. Of all the changes I really wished Kim Matula would stay on B&B!" -- Stacci

• "Yaaaah, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood is...[back] as Steffy Forrester [in] early 2015. She's [a] wonderful actress. I love her; [she's] the best." -- Susan

That's right, Scoopers -- Steffy is returning in time for February sweeps. Don't get too excited; it's just for a few episodes. But I know it's a Christmas gift a lot of you have been wanting. Speaking of surprising casting news, Maya is getting a sister in 2015. I think Maya's pretty well been written into a corner, but maybe delving into her family life will shed light on why she's such an inconsistent character.

Speaking of inconsistencies -- and consistencies -- let's leave you with a few Points to Ponder!

Hope only seems mad that Quinn kept her from marrying Liam in Paris -- shouldn't her biggest beef be that Liam almost died because of her?... "Drag her home?" Bill said of Brooke. "What am I, a caveman?" Considering you tossed Katie over your shoulder and locked her in a tower, Bill, that answer would be yes... It seems inconceivable that Aly wouldn't allow Pam to throw a medieval-themed baby shower, but her "I don't feel sorry for Quinn; she brought it all on herself" was spot-on...

Kudos that Katie and Donna arrived with a gift from Bridget, that Hope considered naming her baby "Beth" after her deceased grandmother, and that Katie commented "this world has plenty of Bill Spencers" given Bill, Liam, and Will are all namesakes... Kinda wild that "HOTT" got its own song... "She doesn't push me or hurry me along," Liam told Deacon regarding Ivy. Who is Liam suggesting did push and hurry him? Hope? Steffy? Both?

The baby shower attendees told Caroline they couldn't not invite Maya. Why not? She's not even family; she's just Forrester's lead model who has tipped her gold-digging hand... When Liam and Hope had their seven-millionth heart-to-heart, Hope actually produced her mother's trademark single tear!

Next week, Tracy brings the Scoopiness, and on December 22, I will kick off our wrap-up of 2014 with my yearly Best & Worst column, which you are not going to want to miss. (Nor will you want to miss my book, The Bewitched Continuum, which makes a great holiday gift, plug plug.) Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.