Live From LA: I'm gonna keep my baby, ooh, oh

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Was your favorite song Madonna's 'Papa Don't Preach'? Did you let your mentor give you a 'hand job?' Did you announce a book and then write a column in view of the Forresters? This week, Two Scoops' Mike comes to you live from Forrester Creations!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Was your favorite song Madonna's Papa Don't Preach? Did you let your mentor give you a "hand job?" Did you announce a book and then write a column in view of the Forresters? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

I've got some very special stuff for you, Scoopers! I am writing this column seated across the street from Forrester Creations! Or, the location they use for the exterior, anyway. Yes, I am traveling in Los Angeles, and the reason I've not columnized for three weeks is because I am getting ready to release The Bewitched Continuum, a book about the supernatural sitcom's continuity that comes out October 21! The promotion required me to be in LA, so I thought I might as well go authentic for this column. Click the link above to join the Facebook group for my book. And now, let's get on with some serious Scooping -- on location!

Yes, as I peek across at the open windows of Forrester (which is actually a Hebrew school), I think I can see Pam and Charlie and Donna and Ivy and Eric and everybody talking about how Quinn tossed Ivy in the Seine. First off, I can't imagine a run-of-the-mill security guard like Charlie having access to this very specific footage. Second, you can't really even tell it's Quinn! Yet everyone assumes Ms. Fuller is on Candid Camera. And wow, did we go around in circles about it. Like LA traffic!

Seriously, no one has anything better to do at Forrester than sit around and discuss how this revelation will or won't affect Liam and Hope? (Maybe that's why I'm not seeing any dresses getting shipped out of this place.) The story's one thing, and I understand wanting to give little-seen characters some airtime, but their excessive interest in Hope's love life just feels really forced. How about giving these folks stories of their own? And by stories, I don't mean Lemon Bars, Part Three Thousand, Pam.

Once again, Quinn Fuller became the woman to hate. True, she could go to jail just for shoving Ivy off a Parisian bridge, but she ought to be in the slammer for trying to plunge a sword through Liam's heart. While Rena Sofer is great, Quinn is done! That she is still freely walking around for everyone to talk about completely goes against any accepted form of logic. At least when Pam tried to kill Donna, she had a brain tumor -- not that that was realistic, but it was something, and more of an excuse than Quinn has.

The saving grace is that Wyatt isn't having his mama right now. "What does feel good to you?" he wanted to know. "Violence? Manipulation?" He booted her out faster than you can say "security footage," but what I want to know is, he says he's not going to be able to forgive her this time, but how is it he was able to forgive her for almost turning his half-brother into a shish-kebab? Quinn sulked away, only to walk in on a strange welder at Quinn Artisan Jewelers. And it was Ivy!

Now, how Ivy got into Quinn's shop, knew to put Quinn's welder uniform on, or had any knowledge of how to weld was beyond me, but it didn't matter, because it was on! It took some serious vegemite for our Australian Forrester to do that. I think I got my hopes up for the scene to be a little more confrontational, but we did get Quinn's classic wisecracks. She teased Ivy about her crush on Liam and advised her to call him, smirking, "I can't do all the work for you." I guess she can stay out of jail for that.

Ivy got a chance to hit Quinn down under -- as in below the belt -- by suggesting that Quinn was jealous. After all, Ivy had Quinn's job at Forrester. I hadn't thought of that! We didn't get the throw down I was hoping for, and I had to wonder why Quinn was brandishing a welding tool the whole time, which Ivy wasn't scared of. But Ivy did get up in Quinn's face, which is more than a lot of characters do. Would Ivy have done it if she knew Quinn was suspected of killing Ricardo? (Whatever happened to that?)

Meanwhile, it was Lope TV, though it did give us Caroline coming to check on cousin Wyatt, which was actually a sweet scene. It was even interesting that Bill decided he would accept it if Liam and Hope got back together, but I have a feeling that had more to do with getting back into Brooke's Bedroom, if you ask me. No, all the second-hand discussions didn't matter, because the actual subjects were having a heavy conversation of their own: Hope announced she was pregnant!

Liam wrung his hands and cried, "How is this happening?" Well, how do you think people have babies, Liam? Hope and Wyatt are newlyweds, if that's any clue. Liam expressed his extreme frustration with being kept from Hope for so many years, and Scoopers, I was feelin' him. I know a lot of you are invested in Lope/Hott, but I find the whole affair incredibly boring, and I want to say I can't believe it never ends, but then, Leffy/Lope never seemed to end, either. It's just not compelling soap.

Liam must have been delirious, because first he told Hope that none of this was her fault; I guess running off and marrying Liam's brother because Liam was a few minutes late doesn't require any responsibility. Then, Liam offered to raise Hope and Wyatt's child. Liam must have gotten that from Hope, who wanted to raise Liam and Steffy's child last year. Just give Hope a motorcycle, and the circle will be complete. Suddenly, Liam knew just what to do. There was little time. Hope would have to -- !

Well, golly gee whiz, you'd think no one on a soap had ever used the word "abortion" before. I'm not going to get into whether Liam was right or wrong to suggest it; my beef is that this is 2014, not 1950. Why all the tip-toeing around the word? At any rate, Hope quickly decided that terminating her pregnancy wasn't the answer. Here's where things got interesting: Hope has never been particularly mature; in fact, it seems she's reverted this past year. But news of her impending motherhood sure smartened her up.

Not only did Hope go to the core of her character by telling Liam she wouldn't raise her child without a father (she even talked about how Ridge and Nick had helped bring her up!), but she put a mirror up to herself and said she had become like her mother by dating two brothers. Hope knew she owed it to her child to give him or her the complete family unit she was denied. Wow! Could this be a sign of actual growth? Hope told Liam she'd love him forever, but her place was with Wyatt and her baby.

This didn't stop Hope from kissing Liam, or the show from indulging in an extended montage. Does anybody else find these more than a little painful? Worse, we're being told that Liam and Hope are some great love story. "They never took our memories," Hope said of their detractors. What memories? In four years, they've been together exactly five minutes. Of course, longing is a big part of soap couples, but these guys are never a couple long enough to invest in, and it's all very kindergarten, besides.

So, Ivy and Aly, B&B's new besties who talk about nothing but Liam, found out that Hope decided to stay with Wyatt. Bill was confused when Liam wouldn't offer a reason. But Brooke got an earful when Hope confessed all about carrying Wyatt's baby. "That's a solution!" Brooke beamed when she heard how Liam offered to raise his half-nephew. Well, of course Brooke would beam. Having her men raise other men's children is how she rolls! Gotta hand it to Miss Logan; she's consistent.

Wyatt, on the other hand, went to Liam and pulled a Rodney King: couldn't they all just get along? They were family, they should be friends, insert violin here. I would champion such a position, but Wyatt only plays the family card when he's gotten what he wants, in this case, Hope. Unfortunately, the same is true for Liam. The only time the Spencer boys really bonded was after Quinn tried to filet Liam. And that was over in a week. A shame, too, because that was one of the best moments on B&B this year.

Liam realized that Hope hadn't told Wyatt about the baby, which Brooke also relayed to Deacon. Do you see where this is going? Everyone's going to know but Wyatt, and I don't think he'll take that very well. Of course, this is if Hope actually carries to term. I suppose there is more soapiness to be mined from a miscarriage than there is from watching a soap heroine change diapers, but my money says either Hope will lose the baby, or she'll have it in three months, because SORAS starts in the womb these days.

Maya, Maya, Maya. If you really want to make the transition from ingnue to villainess, the first thing you have to do is not be so obvious. It doesn't take Miss Cleo for everyone to know you're hot for Rick, and Katie saw through your attempt to make her doubt Ridge and Caroline's working relationship like you were a roll of Saran Wrap. I think Karla Mosley could play an awesome soap vixen, if there was a plausible reason for Maya's personality change. But hey -- Caroline made that switch, too, last year.

In fact, that's the really interesting part about Maya working on Katie. "I know how Caroline operates," Maya said as she explained how her former competitor inserted herself into relationships. Can't deny it, Scoopers: Maya has a point. And one could even say that Maya learned from a master. Katie acted like she didn't care when Maya blabbed how she had seen Ridge and Caroline hugging on each other, but Katie's insecurity is getting to be about as legendary as her heart attacks.

So, of course, the first thing she did was run into Ridge's office and ask loaded questions about Ridge and Caroline's design process. And you know something? Ridge and Caroline are bringing the heat! For the first time since Thorsten Kaye took over the role of Forrester's top designer, I'm really seeing Ridge Forrester in him. There was a real sexiness as he stood over Caroline, his hand on hers, trying to realize his vision of fashion. I could almost feel his breath on my neck -- I mean her neck.

Caroline becomes something new in Ridge's presence, as well: awestruck, confident, and vulnerable all at the same time. When rumors abounded about a Ridge/Caroline pairing with Ronn Moss still in the role, it seemed creepy, but Thorsten's Ridge and Caroline generate some serious electricity. I don't know if that would translate to a romantic relationship or not. I do know that Ridge and Katie, a couple I had great hopes for, developed too fast and then became like watching wallpaper dry.

Ridge and Caroline are hot because they aren't just jumping into a relationship; there's a definite sense of old-school soap romance, the kind that took months to brew. Katie should worry, even though neither Ridge nor Caroline did or said anything that was remotely inappropriate in her presence. Ridge did know enough to playfully ask Katie if she was jealous. Yep -- this is Ridge Forrester, and he's been missed. Too bad for Katie he only comes alive when he's around Caroline!

Somehow, Justin's spy at Forrester, whoever that is, reported that Ridge was designing again, since everyone but Caroline thinks Ridge is producing his own work. Bill and Justin then engaged in what writers call exposition: they sat there telling each other things they already know about Abu Dhabi and the helicopter accident. Yes, I know intermittent viewers need to be reminded. But it's a dubious technique, as it is constantly throwing flashbacks at us. You know how many there were this week? Seven!

Only one flashback was worth it: Brooke and Deacon's sweet, sweet luvin'. Getting a flashback of what happened yesterday is annoying. Getting a flashback from 2001 is amazing. And I'd forgotten that Brooke and Deacon were fiyah! Coming back to today, Deacon again proposed to Brooke. But how can they get married? They have no current relationship. They haven't even been out on a date! A decade-old romp in the hay isn't enough to base a marriage on. See what I mean about rushing romance?

Bill, however, feeling that Ridge's designing ability returning was enough to win Brooke back, rushed right over to Casa Logan, saw Deacon kneeling there, and these two goats locked some serious horns. Deacon snickered that Bill was this happy because he had mowed an old lady down on the way over; Bill retorted he'd done so only after Deacon tried to screw her out of her life savings. Maybe Deacon and Bill are trying to get with the wrong person! Their own chemistry is off the hook.

So, with Deacon in the room (strange trend lately, folks having private conversations in front of other people), Bill told Brooke that Ridge was designing again, and that there was nothing standing in their way anymore. Question: if Eric, etc. know "Ridge" is turning out designs, how did Brooke not know? Not that it mattered, because Bill also proposed, and Brooke looked at him the way she had Deacon two minutes before. Hmm. I guess Brooke really does look at everyone like she wants to marry them!

Which hunk will Brooke pick? Will Ridge and Caroline design their way into bed? When will anyone at Forrester actually get a life? And is Hope really pregnant? (You know those home pregnancy tests aren't always 100% accurate.) Share your thoughts below this column in the Comments section, post a message on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit Feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column, like these! Check it out!

• "Disappointed [that] most of the week was the Hopeless triangle. What happened [to the] week of Passion and Fashion [alluded to in the CBS promo]?" -- BnBScreencaps

• "Myra sure is thirsty! Go Brooke! Two proposals in one day! Katie is jealous!" -- Michael

• "We should all be as lucky as Brooke to have two great looking guys asking us to marry them! And on the same day!" -- Janine

• "There are some great characters on this show but all they do is talk about Hope and Liam. It is SO boring...every other soap on TV right now has multiple engaging stories involving multiple characters. All B&B has is Hope and Liam...WHY does Liam want Hope back? If my boyfriend ran off and married another woman because I was late to meet him somewhere I would be putting pins in his voodoo doll not asking him to come back to me." -- Denise

• "With Wyatt heavily pressing Hope to start a family, I wonder why Hope isn't worried about what Quinn might do to 'help' her grandchildren. Wyatt is obviously unable to stand up to or control his mother's behavior." -- Aoffe

• "I really hope Katherine Kelly Lang will be back, and [that Brooke will] marry Bill. I hope Hope and Liam get married." -- Kate

Well, of course Brooke will be back -- Katherine Kelly Lang is only taking time off to participate in the Italian Dancing With the Stars. I actually think it's novel for Brooke to likewise take time off and decide what to do with her life instead of juggling men. If only Hope would follow her mother's example this time around!

No Points to Ponder this week: have to wrap this up because I can't sit across the street from "Forrester Creations" all day. Eric might call the cops on me! But, there are more bold and beautiful moments coming -- B&B will film in Amsterdam in the near future, and better yet (at least in my eyes), next week we will finally meet John Forrester! Eric's brother has never been on the show, so this should be something. Will we learn who Ivy's mother is? OMG -- what if it's Quinn?

On October 3, I will be appearing on SoapCentral Live's 250th episode to talk about B&B -- and about my book, The Bewitched Continuum, because man cannot live on soaps alone. Sometimes he needs witchcraft! As for Scoops, Miss Tracy will be back with you next week, and I'll be in LA a while yet, so my next column on October 13 will be written from yet another infamous B&B location. Not gonna tell you where -- you'll just have to come back to find out, though I promise I'll hint from Twitter (@magicallyAMJ). Whew! Lots going on! Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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