Diamond life: Love don't come for free

Both Bill and Wyatt tried to play &quo;Smooth Operator&quo; for their women. Liam demonstrated that his head was the hardest substance known to man. And was Quinn a diamond in the rough so her son could score with Hope? Get your shine on with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you get pressed to accept a diamond at a press conference? Did you try to remind your baby mama how she became one? Did your therapy include bumping off a jewel owner? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

This week's B&B kept reminding me of that 1985 hit "Smooth Operator" -- and the album it came from, Sade's Diamond Life. It's certainly fitting, because the HFTF diamond, complete with its used-too-often bell tree cue, was back in full force. Wyatt's intentions also reminded me of the 1987 Herb Alpert/Janet Jackson track, "Diamonds." It's like Wyatt was telling Hope, "I don't want your money/I don't want your key/Diamonds/Love don't come for free!"

But first, the decidedly non-diamond Kridge/Brill/Deacon/helicopter quadrangle. At least the show explained it: Ridge took helicopter lessons in Paris. That's reasonable. Bill was agitated because Ridge got back at him for dumping him from a chopper in Abu Dhabi by attempting a similar drop over the infrastructure of L.A. Bill wins that one -- Ridge had a chance to survive landing in the water; Bill wouldn't have been so lucky if he'd hit that concrete. In a way, Ridge's prank was worse!

Bill owned his Middle East mischief, after which Ridge repetitively told Brooke to dump him. I get the necessity of making things clear for viewers who don't catch the show every day, but the going-in-circles dialogue gets irritating when you watch shows back-to-back. Anyway, Katie was the high point of the scene: she reminded Brooke that she knows better than anybody what Bill is capable of. "I don't want that life for you, Brooke," Katie insisted. It seems the Logan sister bond is back. I definitely felt it.

Brooke was fiyah as she gave Bill hell (nobody messes with Ridge on her watch!) "I never knew you could be so intentionally cruel," she seethed. Okay, Brooke, I know the Stallion makes women weak in the...knees, but surely you didn't forget everything he did to Hope and Katie. "I can't take your reckless anger," Brooke continued -- yeah, neither could Katie, after she found out he tried to kill Amber. Did Brooke ever find out about that? Brooke would send Bill packing over that alone.

Then Bill was gone, though I think the show skipped a scene somewhere because we never saw her telling him to leave. Soon, Deacon stopped by, and Scoopers -- the man's still got it. I mean, he was making me weak in the...knees. And you know, he's right: Bill should be in jail. Not for the helicopter hoopla, necessarily, but for faking the MRI and blackmailing that warden to get Deacon out of prison. Even Ridge insisted, "no cops." Does anyone on this show actually pay for their crimes?

Bill came back to plead his case to Brooke, but it's Bill and Deacon that have the real chemistry. Not that kind, but their sparring is the best part of the storyline. Not many people can go toe-to-toe with Dollar Bill, but Deacon gives as good as he gets. Which Brooke found out after Bill left to give her some time: Deacon admitted wanting Brooke back! He wanted to be a father to Hope, and for him and Brooke to act as her parents. "Hope is an adult," Brooke reminded Deacon. You said it, Miss Logan.

As Deacon tried to convince Brooke that he'd changed, she considered listing all his infractions. For as much as the show engages in exposition and flashbacks, this is the one time a scene could have used it. Any new viewer isn't going to know how Deacon extorted from the Forresters and deflowered Bridget over a speakerphone in the early 2000s. And, of course, how he got it on with his mother-in-law, which is why Hope is here -- Deacon reminded Brooke with a big, juicy kiss! Will it jog Brooke's memory?

Deacon also paid a visit to Hope, and his eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas when he found out his daughter was now in possession of the Hope for the Future diamond. I highly doubt that he's simply happy for Hope -- more likely, he's jazzed because the priceless gem is that much nearer to his grasp. Hey, he engaged in art thievery on Y&R; it's in his DNA to want to figure out how he can profit from the blue sparkly thing. Unless he actually has changed, of course, which is yet to be revealed.

The one who hasn't changed is Wyatt, and I gotta tell ya, Scoopers, I'm pissed. We finally wrapped up the Lope/Hyatt triangle when Wyatt saved Liam from Quinn's sword, resulting in the brothers making peace. For Wyatt to make a play for Hope again, it invalidates all of that goodwill, and we can never go back to it. Like Leffy/Lope before it, this storyline is played out. I don't care who Hope ends up with, because it never lasts longer than five seconds, and there's no investing in a couple that way.

No, the HFTF diamond dropped into Wyatt's lap, and he went straight to Hope, talking about what the zillion-dollar trinket meant to them in Mexico and to the line. When he made good on his promise to give Hope the diamond one day, Hope accepted it, knowing Liam would freak. Maybe Wyatt would have been less "Hott" to gift Hope with the diamond if he knew she was going to carry it around in her pocket. It was handled with gloves before; surely this is going to devalue the gem.

Did Liam freak? Oh, yeah. And you know, for all his blustering in the past, I kind of had to side with him here. It must be a real letdown, finally burying the hatchet with your brother, only to find the guy's dug it back up. "He wanted me to have it because of the connection to the line!" Hope insisted. She's always been a bit clueless, but she's never been dumb; after a year of bouncing between Liam and Wyatt, surely she knows what Wyatt's intentions are here. Finally, Hope agreed she'd give the diamond back.

Then things got a little weird. Wyatt called a secret press conference, and Rick actually let him hold it without revealing what it was about first. In what business does this happen? Even odder, Hope, who is only the figurehead of HFTF, was not told about a public event concerning it until she walked into it. I know that part of the fun of soaps is the their lack of reality, but at least make it plausible. Liam, in a suit befitting his vice president position, joined the reporters for the festivities. Why isn't he ever at work?

So, after Wyatt already gave Hope the diamond privately -- and, after she accepted it -- he gave it to her again in a public forum. What for? This press conference would have made so much more sense if it meant Hope were first hearing about the diamond. Giving it to her twice is just silly, as is Wyatt mooning about having promised Hope the diamond in front of reporters. For Hope's part, all she had to do was say she was only accepting it for the collection. But she didn't. No wonder Liam walked.

We then went in for another round of "give the diamond back," this time adding a "fire Wyatt" to the mix. Liam must truly think he works at Forrester, not Spencer. The one thing I agreed with was Liam's response as Wyatt babbled about promising Hope the diamond, Liam said, "Yeah, you made a promise to me, too." I'd rather have seen the brotherly bond continue than another year of this triangle.

On the one hand, I can see why Hope put her foot down about keeping Wyatt and the diamond; she apparently doesn't feel conflicted about her relationship with Liam. But that she can't see Liam's point of view is peculiar, given the triangular history. She really believes that "the diamond is key to the line's success." Um, not to put too fine a point on it, but shouldn't the designs be key to the line's success? You never actually hear about the clothes in this. One accessory shouldn't be the focal point.

Liam ended up moaning to Ivy about losing his fiance when he hadn't actually broken things off with her, but that's not what's got me cautious. I think Ivy may have contracted Tricia Quick Syndrome. Remember Tricia? In 2002, after Taylor's second "death," lookalike Tricia was brought on to fill the void and attempt to come between the reconnecting Brooke and Ridge. She lasted a couple of months and is most memorable for Brooke having dumped spaghetti sauce on her.

I'm getting the same vibe with Ivy now. The Aussie not only resembles Steffy, she's mouthing Steffy's anti-Logan rhetoric. She "didn't mean" to take a video of Hope and Wyatt in an embrace, and she's clearly joined Team Liam by telling him it's better he found out how Hope rolled before they got married. Is Ashleigh Brewer meant to replace Jacqueline MacInnes Wood the way Tamara Davies was meant to replace Hunter Tylo? Let's hope not: Tricia only lasted 24 episodes.

I like the idea of Ivy and Aly being friends, but it's kind of boring hearing them talk about the diamond dilemma -- plus, I thought Aly was over hating Wyatt after instantly working through her Taylor trauma. Aly's worship of Hope also seems so yesterday; even Ivy told her she was idealizing Hope too much. While Aly was again lecturing Sad Hope about Bad Wyatt, the Spencer scion got a secret phone call and took off, while the camera zoomed in on mysterious feet.

Oh, come on, who else would it be? Why the ineffective suspense around Quinn's return when she hasn't been gone that long? I, personally, was not glad to see her. Quinn quickly became a cartoon villain who was seconds away from stabbing Liam with a sword she hand-made especially for the occasion. Even if she could be redeemed, it wouldn't happen after less than a month of "treatment." At least Wyatt was smart enough to question her being released so soon. Quinn never went to a hospital. You know it.

And how many people asked why Ricardo Montemayor would bequeath his prized diamond to Wyatt, someone he barely knew? Now, a Mexico City police detective is on his way to Los Angeles to interrogate Wyatt about Ricardo's accidental demise -- because it may have been murder! Did Quinn force Ricardo to film a video leaving the diamond to Wyatt then cook Ricardo's burrito? Oh, my, Scoopers, the smart pesos are on the across-the-board answer being a resounding Oh, si!

Will Brooke trade Bill for Deacon? Did Quinn spend her "hospital time" in Mexico with Ricardo? And will Ivy suddenly take up motorcycle riding? Share your thoughts in the comments section below or shoot me a message by email. Your comments could end up in a future column. Like these!

• "I so agree with you about the nonstop aerial and street shots. They take up so much time, like you said, and yet the intro of characters at the beginning of the show zooms through all the actor and character names at lightning speed. I sometimes don't see the show for awhile and if there's a new character with the actor's name I find it almost impossible to read without having to backtrack and watch it in slow-mo! Not only ridiculous, but downright disrespectful to the actors, given all the time spent on outdoor shots. Enough already! They don't have to be shown almost every time there's a scene change!" -- Patty

• "What we need is Brooke to start acting like a beautiful older woman and...we need more Thorne. What happened to the writers? Flashbacks, scenery and [only] a few minutes of the program!" -- Helen

• "I am also glad that Oliver finally has a romantic story line. I was always sorry that Hope ended their relationship (although I am pulling for a happy ending for Hope and Liam). Oliver is great looking, talented, smart, was very loyal to Hope ([aside] from the accidental sex with Brooke), and an all-round decent guy. I think he would be my choice if I had to choose between Oliver, Liam, and Wyatt." -- Pam

• "The problem I have with the Maya/Carter storyline is that there was no development of the characters. They have no history to let the viewers know what makes them who they are. Maya and Carter haven't had a real storyline in months, and now out of the blue Maya comes on to Rick and turns on Oliver. There was no build up, just BAM! Brad Bell doesn't seem to know what to do with his African-American characters. They come on for a season, have an interesting storyline (for a moment), and then they're gone. It's very frustrating for me." -- Lynn

I'm afraid that's true -- it was the same with brothers Keith and Kevin back in 1993 and the Asian-American character Michael Lai in 1996. Before Caroline's friend Rafael last year, gay men were relegated to hairdressers -- at least Karen and Danielle were a little more true-to-life, but, as Lynn points out, that was only because we already knew who Karen was. There's a definite lack of character development on B&B that's been going on for a while, resulting in plot-driven episodes. I only bitch about this stuff because I feel it dulls what has the potential to really be a diamond of a show.

Now, dust off that Sade cassette of yours (or Herb Alpert if you like) and let's go digging for diamond life in Points to Ponder -- hey, even Liam said his brother was an operator; surely he had to mean "smooth!"

"I'm Australian," Ivy proudly told Aly. Yet her father, John Forrester, and his then-wife, Maggie, were raising Jessica in Indiana in the '90s. It would be perfectly reasonable for John to have relocated Down Under after his divorce from Maggie, but that needs to be explained, otherwise Ivy can't be Australian. And why was Forrester letting Ivy shoot a video tour of the company after all the designs stolen from there over the years? More importantly, who's letting Deacon through the door? Surely he'd still be blacklisted from being Public Enemy Number One with the Forresters...

It was great detail that Liam was still limping around with a splint -- until he seemed to lose it the same afternoon... Why was Carter at Wyatt's press conference instead of staying upstairs, lawyering? "Is she that good," Carter asked Rick regarding Maya's betrayal, "or am I that dumb?" No comment, oh, Clueless One... Looks like only Alison can get away with sassing Bill; she still had a job even after picking away at his ego!

Are Deacon and Ridge a team now? Not bad considering Deacon subdued Ridge with a roundhouse kick a decade ago (you don't want to piss off someone who went up against Ralph Macchio in Karate Kid III)... "We have sacrificed too much," Bill pleaded to Brooke. Sacrificed what? Katie's self-respect and Brooke's redemption promise to a not-yet-cold Stephanie?

"You've given me a life and a job," Wyatt gushed to Hope. That thing you had while you were helping your mother run Quinn Artisan Jewelers wasn't a job?... "I doubted a man who loved and protected me," Brooke said of Ridge's insistence that Bill was guilty of the chopper dump. See? For Brooke, it will always go back to Ridge... "Scorched earth and all, it was worth it," Deacon told Brooke, noting that at least their affair yielded Hope. So Bridget is scorched earth?

Probably the best line of the week: when Hope considered not keeping the HFTF diamond, and Deacon popped off, "Are you kidding? Are you my daughter?"

Don't forget, next week, it's B&B Goes to Paris -- where maybe you, too, can get helicopter lessons. Ah, oui, Mademoiselle Tracy will go on this French field trip with you, and I will be back August 18. Come follow me on Le Twitter; just look for @magicallyAMJ. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold -- as Sade sings, "no need to ask!"

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