We'll have a gay old time

B&B channeled The Flintstones this week. Wyatt wanted to know, 'Wilma' keep causing trouble? The Fullers' mammoth slate-cleaning had Liam seeing 'Fred.' And as for Bill, 'Betty' thinks Ridge is gay! Taste the rainbow with Two Scoops' Mike!'

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you literally find a place to park? Did you not end up having to change your business cards? Did you take pride in parading photos that made someone's "destiny" look gay? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Happy February sweeps, Scoopers! As many of you know, by the time February is over, Hunter Tylo will be bringing Taylor back for a visit, and Aly's mama, the dearly departed Darla, will do some visiting of a ghostly persuasion in March. That can only mean one thing: B&B's ultimate elephant in the room -- Taylor playing a part in Aly losing her mother -- is finally being addressed. Ooh doggies, the drama if this is done right! The very drama!

Eight years on, viewers are still debating Taylor's culpability in Darla's death. But, regardless of whom you blame, little Aly still blacked out Taylor's picture with a crayon and slashed up Taylor's wedding dress like it was something out of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Aly seems normal now, but unless Thorne had her in therapy instead of play dates, Aly's issues are unresolved. Hey, look at Rick: he forgot he shot Grant as a pre-teen, which didn't resurface until he was an adult. Drama, folks. Drama.

For now, though, we have Bill crowing that Ridge is gay because the formerly Speedoed designer was photographed at a gay pride parade. Now, I know that a lot of you think it's tasteless for B&B to imply that Ridge has switched teams, not because of any anti-gay sentiments, but out of a sense that the show is desperate and indulging in exploitation. But you know what? I think it's kind of interesting. B&B, a soap set in the fashion industry, completely shied away from gay characters until two years ago!

I'm gay, and I'm totally not offended by this storyline. We all know Ridge is straight. And Bill will do anything to get what he wants; right now that's Brooke. So of course he'd use innocent pictures to shake Brooke's decades-long attachment to Ridge. It ain't gonna work, though. She might look constipated just to be soapy, but she knows better than anyone that Ridge likes the poom poom. (Sorry; Prince reference.) This angle is different, though; I'll give B&B that! Given what's going on with Russia and the Olympics right now, B&B even talking about gay people is almost a show of support!

The only issue I'm having is with the plotting. Brooke apparently hadn't had any contact with Ridge during the 15 months he was in Paris. So how does she know about this Febreze (okay, Fabrice) and that the guy was staying with Ridge? If Ridge had a protg before he left L.A., we sure didn't hear about it. Maybe Ridge was also at the parade supporting Thomas! Thorne thought Thomas was gay, the boy's never had any luck with the ladies...I'm just sayin'. Team Tholiver, baby!

Besides, if Brooke has any doubt as to whether Ridge is gay, all she has to do is ask Katie. Ridge brought Chucky -- I mean, R.J. -- over to hang out with baby Will and go for a frolic in the park. Did the two-episode outing remind anyone of a similar jaunt Deacon had with Amber and little Eric back in 2001? I think that was a fantasy, though, and Kridge's cavorting was made to look like the stuff of fantasy. Which explains why Katie had three park flashbacks!

And you know, another device I'm getting tired of is B&B constantly inserting songs and having them underscore montages. Their web site even lists what songs are used in what episodes now. I'm absolutely all for lesser-known artists getting this level of exposure, but I don't need to hear a song every day. Between the flashbacks, establishing shots, and these montages, it's more like fourteen minutes to an episode instead of nineteen. For a show whose pace is so fast, not that much really happens!

But I digress. Donna came over post-park and caught Katie set adrift on memory bliss. Maybe Katie was just recalling how she used to watch One Life to Live in the '90s and swooned over Thorsten Kaye, who was playing a poet. Ridge must have watched back then, too! Anyway, it looks like poor Donna is once again caught in the middle of her sisters, this time over Ridge. But I very much liked the Katie/Donna connection this week. They really do seem like sisters, and their warmth was comforting.

And faster than you can say Problem Child, Ridge returned with R.J. -- who, for all my joking, thankfully seems a lot less like a serial killer than he did over Christmas. Katie even managed to squeeze in a business call in between exchanging long looks with Ridge, apparently setting up some executive meeting regarding Liam. Unfortunately for him, the original Spencer heir had his hands full with Hope, Wyatt, the diamond, and Quinn. And he wasn't the only one!

Yes, Pam finally stepped out of the kitchen, ready to pop Quinn into the oven. "You tried to buy my loyalty with a manicure and crumb cake!" Pam scolded. You go, girl! I'm so glad she channeled her inner Douglas and refused to let Quinn off the hook for using her. Pam and Quinn's catty "as if" exchange was easily the best moment of the week. I'm sorry Pam didn't actually end up with a friend, but it's nice to see her being strong for once. Stephanie would be proud!

Liam also earned some points this week. I've been ready to kill him off for ages: despite his lovably quirky start, he soon became a weak-kneed waffler who held everyone else responsible for the messes he made. He's still on my you-know-what list for that, but there's something about Quinn that brings out the tiger in him. It's sexy! If he'd stood up to Bill and Steffy like that from the start, he certainly would be married to Hope by now. And there'd have been no reason for Hope to give Wyatt a second glance!

Another show of male strength this week came from Rick. I loved that he was pissed at Wyatt for the wannabe diamond heist and was ready to boot the Fullers out of Forrester with his own foot! And get Wyatt: "You're not the one that hired me." Yeah, actually Rick is, Wyatt -- the guy's president! At least Wyatt admitted he just wanted to look good to Hope, but how could he not think he was committing a crime by stashing the diamond? Dude! Really?

Something else I don't understand is how Quinn Artisan Jewelers is supposed to go under by losing the contract with Forrester. Wasn't this place doing okay on its own for years and years? Now suddenly all these phantom employees will go hungry if Hope puts them out of a job. Rick was right, saying Wyatt didn't think of them when he pulled his stunt, and I would have loved to see Rick stick to his guns and send Wyatt and his mama packing. Instead, Rick put the decision in Hope's hands. Huh?

Predictably, Hope kept the Fullers on staff and took Wyatt back after breaking up with him for all of twenty-three seconds. And you know why? Because he planted his lips on her, and the heat was almost enough to melt the diamond. I finally figured it out: Hope's liking Wyatt's family jewels. Check it -- she's far more sensual and sexual than she ever was with Liam. She even called Wyatt sexy, then looked about ready to have the big O when he'd only gotten started workin' his mojo! Sorry, Liam, but you can't compete with that. Lope is done.

He knows it, too, or he wouldn't have bought all those brewskis at Bikini. Liam and Oliver hanging out -- who knew? Oliver's been where Liam's been; he knows what it's like to get dumped by Hope and watch her move on with someone else. There's an interesting bit of karma in all this. Liam kept wondering what other skeletons were in the Fullers' closet. Indeed! At least Liam had a DNA test -- I bet Wyatt's not even a Spencer! Quinn probably lied about Wyatt's paternity; would you put it past her at this point?

Of course, not moments after Wyatt told his mother to stop interfering, Quinn decided to have a catch-up with Aly and play on the girl's obvious crush on Liam. How can they "catch up"? They don't even know each other! I loved that Aly knew Quinn was all about making sure Wyatt got what he wanted and that Thorne and Darla's daughter is interested in designing shoes. Hey, why not? In 27 years, B&B has only ever focused on dresses! It's about time they're into shoes and accessories as well.

Still, Aly fell under Quinn's spell, her multiple-hour makeover happening in the space of a few minutes so she could catch Liam as he was paying his beer bill. Oh, Aly, honey -- run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Liam's too old for you, and he has a romantic history that's so messy, Dr. Phil keeps him on standby. Besides, Liam out-and-out said he wasn't giving up on Hope. Doesn't it bring you back to high school, watching Aly pine for Liam? Maybe she'll fugue and try to run him over on a foggy highway...

Amazingly, Katie picked that moment to text Liam about that executive meeting starring him. First these people never work, and now they work odd hours? This couldn't wait 'til morning? Apparently not, because Liam was on his way (never a good idea after downing a lot of beer) while Ridge packed R.J. away in the car and addressed the electricity crackling between him and Katie. Naturally, as soon as Ridge made kissing all three Logan sisters official (tying with Nick), Liam walked in and got an eyeful!

Liam better not even trip, not after the way his daddy did his former step-mama. Is it former? Ridge's 2011 divorce from Brooke happened in one day, but seven months after Katie filed, it's not clear whether she and Bill have legally split. Anyway, Katie pulled back from Ridge's ungay lips and cried that she couldn't do this to her sister! Say what? Brooke did it to you! And Brooke's only been re-interested in Ridge since he came back. All's fair in love, war, and the Logan family! Go git dat boy!

So, what have you got in your Scoop? Share your comments with us on the Soap Central message boards or the comments section. Send e-mail or leave a voicemail! Or talk about it on Facebook below. Your comments could end up in a future column. Like these!

• "Bringing back Taylor Hayes is a huge mistake. Not at all happy about this." -- Sandyo "What bothers me the most about Ridge's reluctance to take back Brooke are his stated reasons -- sleeping with your sister's (estranged) husband is unforgivable but sleeping with your brother's wife (or was it fiancée) is okay?? Doesn't anyone remember that Ridge did just that with Caroline when she was betrothed to Thorne? What a hypocrite...I think it was much worse when it was Brooke's daughter's husband but apparently that is forgiveable." -- Ellen

• "I am glad Hunter Tylo is coming back to the show. Please do not let [Taylor] pursue Ridge again. I hope she resumes her relationship with Eric. They made a good couple and [Taylor] is the only woman on the show worthy to take Stephanie's place." -- Linda

• "I'm on Team Ridge with anybody! I'd take him gay or straight but I can promise you that an 'Alpha Male' such as TK will not be gay. Thrilled with the s/l & loving TK in his new role!" -- Sharon

• "I am a hopeless romantic and think Hope and Liam should finally have the life they have always planned, get married and have children together. They are the first true loves. Wyatt is a conniving sneak and so is his mother and they need to go." -- Jean

• "Wyatt and Hope belong together...Wyatt expresses and demonstrates true love...Liam is like a spoiled, resentful child and his behavior is appalling. Please put him back with Steffy..." -- Leatrice

• "I get the impression that [B&B] is fixing to bring homosexuality into the show. If that is the case, well, you have just lost a viewer. I will no longer watch such trash..." -- Nita

• "Just a suggestion but if you're gonna do the whole gay storyline, why not let it be RJ who is struggling with his sexuality...it's not uncommon for children to become confused during adolescence..." -- Hope

• "Legally Hope has become [an] accessory after the fact by hiding the crime that Wyatt committed. She is the one who most gained from the crime so when police finally question her they will not believe that she did not know about it...since when does a 'designer' (Hope) make corporate policy decisions?...Hope's decision to stay with Wyatt is an important fork in the road. I hope the writers use the opportunity to teach young women that supporting morally wrong actions will affect their own lives..." -- Melissa

• "When will Ridge find out about [Brooke having been pregnant] with Bill's baby. I know for sure that Ridge won't want Brooke then...Brooke is just going to die laughing regarding those photos of Ridge. Bill is stupid if he thinks that those photos are going to make any difference to Brooke...." -- Betty

Let's top off this tank with some Points to Ponder:

Hope wailed to Rick, "Is it something I'm putting out there that makes people want to lie to me?" That may be the most self-aware thing she's ever said... Caroline was chilling at Liam's pad to escape from work and asked what his excuse was. Um, he lives there?... Nice touch, having Caroline remark that she grew up with neighbors thinking Danielle was the nanny... Liam bragged to Quinn that Hope would marry him now that Wyatt was exposed. How is Liam thinking that's going to work? Hope's feelings for Wyatt are an even bigger issue than the diamond. And then Quinn told Wyatt that his "theft" was nothing compared to what Liam did to Hope! Hey, Liam was a jerk to Hope, but none of it was illegal!

It was so weird to see Wyatt and Hope getting it on in Taylor's old house. Apparently "Sally says recycle" also applies to sets... How did the Spencer receptionist know where Liam was dining? The business day was over! Does Liam have to report in when he goes to the bathroom, too?... When Aly asked Quinn if she were a good witch or a bad witch, Quinn replied, "Let's just say I'm versatile." Classic! But what if Aly had told Liam that it was Quinn who gussied her up? Aly started to, but then stopped...

Wait: is that Ridge Forrester talking about taking out the trash and going to teacher meetings? Katie was excited at the prospect of attending soccer and hockey games -- wasn't her passion basketball? At least it was when Katie was dribbling with Nick... It's good to know Ridge carries clothes in his car for all occasions... In the park, Katie and Ridge were both glad to be getting out of the office. When are they ever in the office?... R.J. told Ridge (and us) that he is nine. Nice try, B&B: R.J. was born in 2004, so he's ten, and he was supposed to be SORASed besides...

Ridge told Katie it seemed strange to have been a part of her life for so long, yet he felt as if he'd just met her. It's true: though we rarely saw them interact, Ridge and Katie have known each other for 27 years (more if you count all the SORASed kids)... Donna joked that if tidying up made Katie so happy, Katie should come clean Donna's house. Donna has a house?... Brooke responded to Bill's assumption Ridge was gay based on a few pictures by telling Bill it was just his "narrow-minded, black-and-white way of thinking." Aha -- Brooke does know Bill!

That's it for me, Scoopers...whether you're straight, gay, bi, or ambidextrous, I thank you for reading. Next week, Tracy will cover the Valentine's shenanigans on B&B, and I'll be back February 24 to start closing up this latest sweeps period. Will Liam raid the kindergarten? Will Quinn start watching cartoon characters instead of acting like one? And Brooke will wish Ridge liked men when she finds out he's got his eye on Katie! Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.