Sisters are doin' it for themselves

Brooke asserted herself as the returning spokesmodel for Brooke's Bedroom while Katie asserted herself into Brooke's flirty celebration with Bill! The Battle of the Logan Sisters begins with Two Scoops' Mike as referee!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Were you mad that your knight's shining armor was 24-karat gold? Did you interrupt a game of "pin the donkey's tail"? Did you escape your show's drama by inserting yourself into another's? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!

It's on, Scoopers, or at least I hope it is. Because the only reason I've been intrigued by "Brill" is that I want to see Katie go off! And that means catfight, y'all...let's see the fur and lingerie fly! We got some indicators this shortened week that a throwdown is imminent, mixed with the lamenting of lost loves and some unexpected conversations. But first, a little side trip to Y&R's Genoa City!

I haven't watched Y&R in ages, but I wanted to follow Eric's crossover. It was nice to see so many familiar faces, and B&B could pick up a few tricks about writing for the entire canvas. But if Eric was really so concerned about the plummeting bottom line at Forrester, he'd open a boutique of nothing but his wedding dresses. He must have designed fifty or sixty of them by now. He even promised to do one up for young Summer Newman! Brides by Eric Forrester. What a cash cow that would be. I'm tellin' ya.

No Wisconsin wandering would be complete without Eric visiting friend and former paramour Lauren Fenmore. Unfortunately, Lauren was too preoccupied by her dalliance with Carmine to pay Eric much attention (if you've seen Carmine, who could blame her). I loved hearing Eric describe Stephanie as the love of his life -- has he ever really done so on B&B? And given that Lauren and Stephanie went from best friends to enemies and back, it's a shame there wasn't time to explore that nuance.

It was also cool to see Eric's brief interaction with former crossover queen Ashley Abbott ("I never did get to see you as a bride" being an astute reference to Ridge and Ashley's 2007 engagement). And the crackling business banter between Eric and Neil Winters was most promising. With Jabot branching out into fashion, will we see Neil and/or others making visits to Los Angeles? Guess for now we'll have to settle for the May appearance of Ricky Paull Goldin (once Y&R's psycho Gary) as Maya's baby daddy.

Does anybody else find it bizarre that Maya and Dayzee are suddenly gal pals and that Dayzee is letting Maya live rent-free above the shop? Who even knew Dayzee's had an apartment upstairs? Was it there when the place was Insomnia? Maya whined that she got burned by Rick. Did she? Because Rick didn't have malevolent intentions by keeping his identity from her. Though if he didn't want to be known as a Forrester, he shouldn't have taken her to a Forrester boutique. Duh!

Maya also got a shock when Dayzee outed herself as a "Far-ester." (Unless Maya's from Boston, someone please teach Karla Mosley to pronounce it correctly.) When Maya was demanding her baby, Dayzee was terrified that Maya would find out she was a Forrester! So why now did Dayzee mention it so blithely? I can't buy this friendship of theirs because we never saw a transition from their previous relationship. And who is Dayzee to make avoiding Rick a condition of Maya staying in the apartment?

Caroline continued to lose likeability points this week, as she preened, pouted, and dropped trou to get Rick's attention. First Taylor, then Brooke, now Caroline -- is lingerie all these people think about? Karen needs to stop by and ask who's impersonating her daughter. Like Maya and Dayzee's friendship, Caroline's switch from demure to demanding makes zero sense. Maybe Caroline cracked her head open when she fell off that balcony? Making changes like these is fine, B&B, but at least explain them.

We almost went a whole week without Leffy/Lope, but no such luck. How did this tired scene between Liam and Hope advance the plot in any way? Hope went on about being robbed (give it up, Hope), while Liam literally stood there and said "Uh..." No, Steffy didn't play fair, at least not in the beginning. But asking Steffy to leave Forrester? Hope is turning to the simpering twit that Oliver was in the months after Hope dumped him. "I don't know what to say," Liam offered. Of course he doesn't.

The big story, of course, is the escalating tension between the Sisters Logan regarding one dastardly Dollar Bill. There's so much going on here, I barely know where to start. Taylor was right about one thing: despite Bill being a shareholder, he never cared much for Forrester business before. Considering his hostile takeover in 2009 and the way he lorded it over everyone, how was he even allowed in the building? Much less allowed to be the ringmaster at the Brooke's Bedroom big top event?

Bill wasn't the only one making decisions with his hormones. Getting to see his ex-wife's goodies once more had Eric tossing Thomas' ideas aside in favor of relaunching the lingerie. No wonder he slinked out to Genoa City, because Taylor was pissed! Hope, however, was overjoyed and giggled over how good Brooke looked. Huh? Wasn't Hope hooked on pills a year ago because seeing her mother strut her stuff was at the root of her frigidity? Now Hope's okay with it? I doubt it.

Brooke's age made for a lot of interesting discussion this week, and I'm glad B&B addressed it. Taylor called Brooke a "desperate aging fool," while Rick and Bill insisted that women over 40 should embrace their sensuality. Damn right they should. Who decided that once you reach a certain age, you're not supposed to be sexy? That goes for men as well as women. I like that B&B is making a subtle statement against ageism. Brooke's still got it, so why shouldn't she model lingerie? Madonna does!

No, age is not the problem with Brooke's Bedroom. It's that, historically, Brooke does strange things when she's separated from Ridge. If she can't have him, she pursues him. If she can't pursue him, she acts out, like she did with Deacon and Nick. (That doesn't quite explain Oliver, but work with me.) Now she's doing it with Bill. Is she an attention junkie, as Taylor suggests? Perhaps. But I think it's more that Brooke doesn't know what to do with herself without Ridge. So she does inappropriate things to fill the void.

Now, aside from last year's kiss with Bill, has Brooke really crossed the line here? Not entirely. But of course she's put herself on a very slippery, very familiar slope. And she knows better. Wouldn't this be a great time for Stephanie to put in a ghostly appearance? Or for Brooke to flash back to the many times Stephanie actually tried to help her be a better person? I'd like to see Brooke struggling against her old behavior instead of simply defaulting to it. That would be much more compelling.

As for Bill...well, apparently it's true that he's "not changing for Katie or anyone." He has lost his edge, but he's also lost respectability, at least to this viewer. It would be one thing if he really tried to change when he married Katie, and just couldn't swing it. But come on -- Bill was drooling over Steffy mere months after his wedding. He embarked on a near-affair with the nubile Forrester, and now he's hoping for a repeat with Brooke. I guess a womanizer can't change his spots! Or at least this one can't.

Katie has been a fool. Not only did she forgive Bill for Steffy, but for plotting Amber's murder, faking an MRI, locking Katie in a tower, and unearthing Deacon. Maybe on some level, she deserves what she's getting. But I want to see Katie kick Bill's ass to the curb and take half of Spencer Publications in a super-nasty divorce! Heather Tom is at her best when she's playing strong, and we finally got to see some of that this week. Let's see Katie really embrace her inner Victoria Newman!

Bill and Brooke's attraction astounds me. Did Brooke not tell Bill he should rot in jail for digging up Deacon? Bill destroyed Hope's relationship with Liam and Brooke's with Ridge! Did Bill not call Brooke a jealous tramp for her part in the sabotage Dare line? Did he not gleefully exploit Brooke's mask-boink through his media outlets? Maybe Bill's turned on now because he knows Brooke can be had, but how can Brooke stand the sight of this man? One peek under the towel, and all is forgiven, I suppose.

Donna was surprisingly frank about the sister she usually supports through thick and thin. Of course, so was Taylor, but would we expect anything else? Yes, Taylor's "lived it," and knows the warning signs. But do you really think she ran to Katie out of the goodness of her once-shot-through heart? Please. Taylor was loving the chance to stick it to Brooke. At least Bill was right about that: Taylor could use a few sessions on her own couch. Her hatred for Brooke is blinding her. Paging Dr. James Warwick!

What an interesting exchange between former lovers Rick and Taylor! I wish B&B would have had them acknowledge their former relationship, but our being aware of it anyway painted that scene with all sorts of colors. Taylor demeaned Brooke to the point that Rick got fired up and told Taylor to stop obsessing on his mother! As wrong as Brooke is, Taylor needs to learn that when you point a finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you. What does Taylor see in Brooke that she's scared of in herself?

Nevertheless, Katie heeded Taylor's "advice" and arrived at Forrester just in time to see Bill and Brooke fall on the bed (much in the way Brooke and Stephanie did on live TV during the first run of Brooke's Bedroom). And this is where lines were drawn in the Battle of the Logan Sisters. Brooke and Katie have always had a good relationship, which is what makes this conflict between them so juicy, despite the abhorrent behavior that's fueling it.

On the surface, Katie could be construed as a histrionic, paranoid shrew. After all, Bill's lips never touched Brooke's Cyanide Crimson ones. But in this case, Katie was right to blast Brooke. "This is how it starts," Katie seethed, shining a light on the tendencies she'd come to tacitly accept in her sister. "I will not be one of your victims!" This scene alone should give Heather Tom another Emmy nod for next year. The girl could give the phone book dramatic pull. Why isn't Katie written this way more often?

Katie knew the look in Brooke's eyes and the "flirty little giggle" were trouble, but Brooke's dismissal was surprisingly cold-blooded! "Did you stop taking your medication?" Brooke asked, in denial as she praised Bill as a "wonderful husband and father." Yep, the image of the showering Stallion has taken precedence over everything else for Brooke. Looking at Bill, I can see why. But when Katie demanded that Bill tell Brooke nothing was going to happen, and Bill didn't answer, Katie had her answer!

It's like the song says, Katie: "Oh, when your man wanna get butt-wild, just go back and hit 'em up style! ...Everything goes, from the crib to the ride and the clothes!" What fun it would be to see Katie destroy Bill financially. Katie has watched barracuda Bill in action for three years -- let's see what she's learned at his knee! And if Katie and Brooke stay pitted against each other and don't resolve everything in a month, what a conflict that would be, putting Donna in the middle to boot. Do it, B&B, do it!

It was a short week, but it wasn't short on comments. Share yours either by email, or by leaving a message for Soap Central Live, our Internet radio show. What you have to say could be played on the air, and what you have to write could end up in a future column. Like these comments did!

• "Teric...rushed and kinda intriguing when I was not being distracted by Taylor whining about the Logans and Eric moaning about not having sex. It is interesting to note that both Taylor and Steffy did not really date their current loves before moving in and yet the myth of their deep connection is seen as hardcore fact. Bill and Brooke, well, what can I say, the continuation of the idea that no woman on B&B can ever achieve anything on her own merits but needs the assistance of a powerful man drives me to distraction." -- Kate

• "...Rick and Maya? Are you kidding me? He fought for months with Thomas for Caroline...[now] he drops her for some woman just bouncing into town?...Then they start making Caroline look as ditsy as Pam! Come on, people, be consistent...this does not make any sense..." -- Suezy

• "Eric wants everyone Ridge had, and Taylor wants everyone Brooke had. Taylor is angry at Stephanie, so she decides to go after Eric for revenge...she was with Thorne, now Thorne turns her over to his father...that's a screwed up situation. Eric is a poor excuse for a father..." -- Joan

• "Just an FYI...a friend of mine was 40 when she was modeling for Saks Fifth Avenue. Not all models are in their 20s." -- Gigi

• "[Spoilers say] that Liam and Steffy [will] feel their baby kick. Come on writers. You don't really feel a baby move until 16 to 22 weeks..." -- Helen

• "I used to love B&B, but I'm tired of the women on the show being so consumed with finding/keeping/stealing a man...it's disheartening! I'm all for being in love but come on -- these women are so preoccupied with men I'm surprised they have time to eat...I'd like to see a little more intelligence and self-worth in my lady characters (please stop writing Taylor as a crazy woman!) and for the love of Pete can we please have a man WORTH going ga-ga over -- and Bill is definitely not it!" -- Eryk

Amen, Eryk! Or is that "a-women." My brief peek at Y&R this week showed a soap that mixed love in the afternoon with other types of riveting stories (this whole Gus/Leslie/Tyler/Wheeler saga had me after two episodes!). B&B only offers rushed "love" stories with little-to-no romance or contrived battles over Forrester. You're in a rut, B&B! Take some notes from your older "sister" Y&R and give us a more balanced soap experience. Please? With All My Children and One Life to Live returning, it's time to step up your A-game!

Enough about that. Now let's step up our P-game, as in Points to Ponder:

Why was Taylor allowed to sit in on a Forrester business meeting, much less pop off with "We're not doing it?"... Where did the Brooke's Bedroom clothes come from? Were they old stock? Were they designed and sewn in just a few hours? By whom?... How can Brooke's Bedroom sideline Intimates? Intimates is just another name for Brooke's Bedroom: it's the same line!... "I'd be wandering that big empty house all alone," Brooke confessed, a surprisingly candid reason for her recent behavior...

I guess B&B can't have champagne on set without the boom mics loudly picking up the distracting fizz... "The Katie I married was more like you," Bill fawned. How? Katie and Brooke have always had distinctly different personalities, not to mention approaches toward men... "Maybe you're not even interested," Brooke said of Katie's attitude toward her husband. It's true! Katie checked out of her marriage after the Deacon reveal, only B&B keeps skipping over that important plot point...

"Ooh, edgy," Thomas snarked at the prospect of a 50-year-old woman modeling lingerie. Funny, Thomas would have begged to see Brooke in her skivvies two years ago... The front entrance of Forrester Creations not only doesn't look like a fashion house, but just like CBS Television City, down to the font... Interesting point Dayzee made about the paparazzi being likely to snap Rick and Maya in public...

"Stephanie used to say you were the perfect couple," Eric told Lauren and her husband Michael Baldwin. Guess Stephanie didn't know how Michael stalked Christine, broke through the wall of her apartment, and killed Rebecca, the girl he hired to get naughty pictures with Danny by drugging him... Did Eric manage to get out of the Newman ranch before shots were fired?... It must have been weird for Don Diamont to hear Brooke mention Nikki and Victor, only to have Victoria Newman burst in and rip him a new one!

I will be back April 8, but you'll be starting off your April with our very own Allison -- and that ain't no April foolin'! Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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