Weddings 'R Us

Brooke Logan has been a chemist, a CEO, and a model, but her specialty seems to be planning instant weddings. Too bad she didn't plan for the oldest wedding stopper in the book! Take a pregnant pause with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you suddenly need to have your nose lowered? Did your mother tell your business to your gynecologist? Did you receive a gift where "You shouldn't have" was the understatement of the year? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!

If it's February on The Bold and the Beautiful, then it's time for another aborted wedding for Liam and Hope. At least, that seems to be the new tradition. Apparently, Brad Bell has no intention of ever stopping the Leffy/Lope "marry-go-round." Shall we start taking bets that Hope and Liam will have more nixed nuptials in February 2014? Not that B&B didn't serve up a couple of other stories...for a few seconds at a time, anyway!

We can't get a full-on Forrester fashion show anymore, so we'll have to be grateful to get the Forrester fashion montage. It was nice to see Eric and Rick working side by side. But it was bad business for Rick to take Thomas' daring design as an affront to his authority. Isn't fashion supposed to be daring? Provocative? Cutting edge? It's not like Thomas was trying to resurrect the Dare line. Although it was a nice nod to history for Rick to suggest that Thomas get business experience from Massimo. As Massimo's former protg, Rick should know!

When Rick complained that Thomas needed to know who was in charge, Eric snapped back, "That would be me." I like this stronger, more liberated Eric. But isn't Stephanie just rolling her eyes from the beyond as, once again, Eric makes business decisions with his hormones? Hey, Eric actually got some flashbacks in the form of fond reminiscences of Taylor, but apparently Eric's groin has recovered from the time Stephanie introduced it to her knee. That said, "Teric" could be tantalizing!

The character who lost the most points with me this week is Caroline. When she arrived last year, everyone oohed and aahed over her philanthropic efforts. So why is she now more concerned with missing out on some sushi than she is with helping the homeless at Dayzee's? Is Caroline's foundation the only one she'll devote time to? Or was her whole caring-for-others spiel an act? I did not recognize Caroline this week. Carrying on about her shoes and her hair? Auntie Caroline is glaring from her grave.

And why is Maya anywhere near Dayzee's right now? Dayzee just told Maya that Maya's baby died! The coffeehouse would be a fresh reminder of that news, as would Dayzee herself. (And where was Dayzee? Out sick?) Maya would be all butt-hurt, not sitting there brightly ordering a cup of joe. She was very calm for someone who came on like a psychopath just a week ago. Could you believe it when she introduced herself as a friend of Dayzee's? A friend? Seriously?

Maya also seemed to have recovered from the shock of her baby's death to the point that she could take the microphone at Dayzee's. Karla Mosley has a compelling voice! Enough to where Rick noticed. Hey, it's not the first time he's been enchanted by a chanteuse at Insomnia -- I mean, Dayzee's. And Anthony wasn't wrong that a producer might be in attendance -- remember when "John Quincy" wanted to sign Amber to his label? That's what led to the accident that resulted in Amber donating a kidney to Rick!

But Rick looked flakier than the croissants that Insomnia used to sell. One squabble with Caroline and he's already eyeing the menu? Did he not lie to Hope and sell her out for the express purpose of wooing Caroline away from Thomas? I guess that was for nothing! Caroline does one thing Rick doesn't like, and it's to hell with you? If Rick had done that with Amber, she would have only ever been his babysitter.

And this is the man who, hours before, gave relationship advice to Liam. Rick wasn't wrong that Liam always defaults to Hope. But how could Rick claim "It's my fault you two aren't together?" They all forget that Hope ditched Liam at the do-over wedding before Rick had Othello lie. And, if Liam and Rick have one thing in common, it's that they both were involved with Steffy. Wouldn't the conversation have been enriched by Rick relating his experience with her and admitting how he hurt her?

One admission that was very interesting was Liam saying, "I never had a girlfriend until Hope," adding that, before her, he never looked away from his laptop. Do you suppose that's why Liam is, perhaps even unconsciously, hanging on to both Steffy and Hope? Because, as a tech geek, he figured he could never get a girl's attention, let alone attention from two girls, and therefore, it bolsters his self-esteem to have them fight over him? Just a thought. That's what I took away from it, anyway.

Meanwhile, across town, there seemed to be other psychological wheels turning as Brooke flew Father Fontana in all the way from Puglia and tried to recreate Hope's Italian knot-tying with Liam. This makes the fourth wedding Brooke has pulled out of her hat for Hope. Must be a little bit of Beth Logan's catering DNA showing itself. What is up with Brooke and instant weddings these days? Does she seriously not have anything better to do with her time?

Maybe it's been obvious all along, but now it's clear to me that Brooke Logan Forrester is in love with love. Only now, she's lost her shot with Ridge (for the time being, anyway), so she's projecting her dreams of "destiny" onto her daughter. Taylor was right about that; Brooke is living in Fantasy Land. Brooke also doesn't seem to know what to do with herself if there isn't a man in her life. You know it's bad when Hope questions the wisdom of a "surprise elopement."

That said, I had to wonder if Oliver (remember him?) was in on Brooke's plot. Why else would he photograph Hope wearing a dress that looks suspiciously like a wedding gown? And oh, does Mr. Jones still have it bad for Miss Logan. I don't know whether to be impressed or creeped out that he still loves Hope after three years. But after all the Liam lunacy, Oliver is starting to look refreshing again. Is he worth another go-round?

How contrived was it for Hope to rush to her mother, wearing said "wedding dress"? Is she allowed to wear a Forrester original off the premises with the paparazzi floating about? Liam was also headed home, having boring flashbacks and hanging up on both Steffy and Hope's voicemails. Wouldn't the girls be able to see he didn't leave them messages? I would have loved to see them take him to task for it. Couldn't get one, so called the other? Isn't that so representative of his behavior towards them?

Steffy couldn't have taken Liam's call, anyway, because she was having an ultrasound with Dr. Caspary. I guess she's the only gynecologist in town. Would Taylor really want her daughter seeing her after the whole egg-donation debacle that created the absentee baby Jack? Taylor must have forgiven Dr. Caspary, because Taylor promptly popped off about Steffy's troubles with Liam. Were they seriously having this conversation in front of the good doctor? Tacky!

I admit, some of the mother-daughter bonding moments between Taylor and Steffy were really nice, and there's no doubt now that Steffy is indeed pregnant. (How exactly did she emerge unscathed after Hope shoved her belly into the desk? I knew that was just a trick!) But how about Madison ratting Brooke out to Eric? Good touch that Madison would worry how he'd perceive her supposed shift in loyalty, but do we really care about Madison's job security? No! Why? Because we don't care about Madison!

Liam found Brooke and Fr. Fontana in his house and barely batted an eye. Scott Clifton admitted in a recent interview that Liam is oblivious, and he couldn't be more right. But when Hope showed up, and Brooke led everyone outside to her latest wedding creation, Hope and Liam clued in, with Hope telling Brooke she didn't want to pressure Liam. Brooke didn't get the message, nor did the Puglia priest. In his eyes, Hope and Liam are still married? In his eyes maybe, but not in the eyes of the law!

For that matter, why did Hope say their Italian wedding "turned out not to be legal"? It wasn't legal because Hope refused to sign the papers after seeing Liam's tongue down Steffy's throat! So frustrating, these oversights. But no more frustrating than Fr. Fontana's cloying, expositional dialogue that had already been repeated between him and Brooke the previous three episodes. It really feels like B&B really only writes one episode and then just stretches it out over a week!

Somehow, Fr. Fontana managed to remember everything Hope and Liam said to each other at their previous wedding last July, and that was enough for them to give it another go. Liam again said nothing, just going anywhere the wind blew. Didn't he do the same thing when Steffy showed up in a wedding dress in Aspen? And isn't Brooke's surprise wedding just as manipulative as Steffy's surprise wedding was?

Steffy didn't have time to notice the irony once she showed up with her wedding gift: "I'm pregnant." I loved that Steffy just whispered it in Liam's ear instead of blurting it out...which she ended up doing later. I would have liked it better if Liam had repeated, "She's pregnant." I also liked Fr. Fontana's Italian exclamation (even if I didn't know what it meant). But I could have done without the cheesy boo-hoo song that was absolutely not needed in that moment.

Naturally, the whole thing devolved into Brooke and Taylor sniping at each other, and Hope and Steffy sniping at each other -- although Hope and Steffy did separately show enough maturity to allow for Liam to choose the other if that's what he really wanted. Liam could raise his child without having to marry Steffy; it worked for Marcus and Amber.

Nice attention to detail, too, having Hope say "we've done this before" in reference to Amber. What else has been done before? Liam standing there looking constipated while Steffy and Hope fight over him right in front of him. Constipated, or getting his self-esteem bolstered? It's like I told ya. Liam, learn to do some affirmations and stop toying with these girl's lives!

Of everyone who wrote in with comments these past couple of weeks, the vote seems to be pretty evenly split between Hope and Steffy (with Hope maintaining a slight edge). But one thing everyone agrees on is that this triangle is tired! What do you agree or disagree with where B&B is concerned? Let us know! Click here to send me an email or here to use your Facebook account to share your thoughts. Your comments might appear in a future column!

• "Steffy needs to move on and Thomas needs to admit that he is gay..." -- Julia

• "...I remember when [B&B] used to put on fashion shows with Sally and the Forresters. That was the good times. Now it is who is sleeping with who. Please add something new." -- Rhonda

• "Mike, reading your column beats watching the pathetic 15-minute soap any day, especially now with the idiotic Leffy/Lope triangle worming its way into the 3rd year. The B&B writers are insulting the intelligence...of the many young women in our day and age with this Liam character..." -- Ginger

• "Writers, please please get over this Hope/Liam/Steffy triangle. It has been going on too long...just really bored with the soap at this point." -- Jewel

• "My pet peeve with B&B is the never ending use of opening scenes with exterior shots along with extended clips from previous episodes. Come on, it's only a 30-minute show, even less with commercials." -- Patricia

• "...It looked as though drama and some interesting social issues could be explored [with Marcus and Dayzee], yet both were dropped at warp speed. I guess we know from this who is really valued as a character, and it's obviously not these two." -- Rebecca

• "One word for The Bold and the Beautiful: BORING! Enough of Hope, Steffy, and Liam..." -- Eva

• "I have noticed that the women are not dressed as well as they used to be. Their clothes used to be flashier, more pop with jewelry. I miss that element of style." -- Sharon

• "...Why is it that Marcus has seemingly forgotten about his real father? [Marcus] was 'adopted' by Eric Forrester long before he knew who his real father was, but now that he knows...he still considers himself a Forrester. Is it because of the Forrester fortune and prestige?" -- RB

• "Mormons don't practice polygamy. You should get your facts straight. Even if you were trying to make a joke, you shouldn't spread a lie. Leave religion alone." -- Candice

Candice makes a good point. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone when I commented that Liam should become a Mormon and move to Utah so he could marry both Steffy and Hope. I just checked, and Mormons stopped actively practicing polygamy in 1890, although there is still a small subset of Mormons that advocate it. So Liam still has a shot! Now that we've all learned something, let's look at some other Points to Ponder!

Ooh, Thorne got to send a text... Wasn't it odd for Eric to set Rick up to volunteer at Dayzee's without asking Rick first?... It was nice to see that the sound system at Dayzee's has reverb... For all of Rick's ranting about Thomas, wouldn't Rick be upset to wear the tie-dye T-shirt that Thomas designed?... Why did Rick take a picture of Maya after she was through singing? Couldn't whip out the iPhone fast enough?

Why are Stephanie and Ridge still in the credits?... Notice how Liam sees himself as "caught in the middle" between Steffy and Hope -- never mind that he started the whole mess by putting Hope's engagement ring on Steffy's finger. How about taking some responsibility, Liam?... Why did Liam have his wedding photo with Hope on his mantel? Was it there before or after Steffy moved out?... All Brooke's talk about how in love Liam was on his wedding day -- guess she doesn't know he spent that whole day in Italy bumming out over Steffy!

Taylor's a doctor -- why would she have to ask when the gender of Steffy's baby would show up on the ultrasound?... "I took off [the ring] to prove a point," Hope told Liam, "and I was wrong." No, you weren't! You took it off because Liam couldn't keep his hands off Steffy!... Brooke said that, for some couples, finding their way back to each other was impossible. Of course, she was talking about Ridge; further proof of why she tried to push Hope and Liam together...

It was astute of Steffy to take a look at how it might be perceived that she got pregnant on purpose and admit "maybe the old Steffy would have..." It was funny when Taylor told Hope that at least her wedding wasn't interrupted by a horse -- but sloppy of her to blame Brooke when it was Thomas and Steffy that were faking texts to get Ridge and Taylor to the altar... Just want to say that all the characters are too focused on weddings and not enough on actual marriage. Bit of a slippery slope for B&B to be perpetuating that fairy tale stereotype!

Allison is back on deck next week, and I shall return to Scoop for you on March 11. Until then, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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