Lather, rinse, repeat

Despite being a mother who would naturally be prejudiced toward her son, Taylor is still a psychiatrist...but apparently not a very good one, because she only hears what she wants to hear.

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you get saved from doing your best imitation of Humpty Dumpty? Did you add fool to the fire? Did you want a gal just like the gal who married dear old Dad? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!

Ever had a friend you adore, but then they do something stupid and you just can't help shaking your head because you know they can do better? That's how I'm feeling about B&B this week. But before we get to that, let's take care of a little Two Scoops business:

"First of all I don't appreciate your comment about Dayzee being a 'wily' street girl. Hello Mr. know it all, not all street people are 'wily'. She has had a hard background but, that doesn't mean that she is wily, or what you have estimated as being 'sly'. To me it sounds like you have a problem with the black white issue...just because Dayzee is dark complected and comes from, 'In your opinion,' the other side of the tracks doesn't make it WRONG!!!... I guess you have no problem with the Donna and Justin sequence because Justin is light skinned!...you need a lesson in love...it knows no color and apparently neither does Thomas or Donna. Get a life and stop playing God!!! Bigot!!!" -- Anonymous

I address this in case anyone else got this impression from my last column. I said that I didn't have a problem with interracial relationships, and I hold to that. What I do regret is my use of the word "wily." The thesaurus reminded me that other words for "wily" are "cunning," "sly," and "devious," and I should have realized some readers would define it that way also. However, the thesaurus also mentions "clever," "sharp," and "astute" -- which is absolutely what I meant. Dayzee is smart, and able to take care of herself. I don't dislike the pairing of Thomas and Dayzee because he's white and she's black. I dislike it because Thomas is an idiot and Dayzee can do a thousand times better! Marcus is no prize these days, either, getting territorial over Dayzee while he's doing Amber on the side. Dayzee needs to strike up a conversation with poor lonely Thorne. Now that's a pairing I'd be sending up balloons for! So, as Rodney King once said, "Can't we all just get along?"

Not that Bill is thinking about getting along with Amber, the mother of "his" grandchild. One little fallen branch and it saved him the trouble of pitching Amber off that balcony himself -- or so he thought. Who'da thunk that selfish, bratty Steffy would be the one to save Amber (!) and teach Bill the difference between right and wrong? There was a real intensity in her pleas, and for the first time since Jacqueline MacInnes Wood took over the role, I actually found myself liking Steffy. Yeah, I know -- I couldn't believe it, either!

I didn't think it made sense that Bill would want to kill Amber -- and an innocent baby -- because he's suddenly overwhelmed with paternal feelings and a desire to protect his son. I also don't get why Bill thinks Amber wanted to kill Liam. But, while you'd think Katie would be the first person Bill would turn to in his distress, it is like him to shut down -- and now I see that this whole Amber thing was a device to connect Bill and Steffy. I'll hand it to B&B -- it's a lot more effective than having Steffy vamp all over Bill's office, which is what I was sure we were in for.

Yet, everyone from Taylor to Donna to Katie seems to think Steffy is either going to get back at Bill or otherwise pull something -- when for once Steffy's not being manipulative. But isn't Katie being more than a little blind? She doesn't want to know why Bill returned Forrester to Steffy? Katie doesn't strike me as a stick-your-head-in-the-sand kind of girl, so this can only mean that on some level, she already knows why. And the Katie/Bill/Steffy triangle begins. At least it's good to have Bill and Katie back on our screens!

Wish I could say the same about Oliver, but it's not his fault, really -- it's the writing. His scenes with Hope were sweet; I just find it inexplicable that Brooke, who completely supported Hope's relationship with Liam, would suddenly turn tail and suggest that Oliver help Hope pick up the pieces. Especially when Hope and Liam declared solidarity one minute and broke up "for their own good" the next. It's about as plausible as Oliver now being the head photographer at Forrester when the boy's a DJ! And what exactly was so "hot" about these photo shoots? I hate to say it, but both the Taboo and Hope For the Future sessions were dull as dishwater...Well, Scoopers, there's no avoiding it -- after a few blissful weeks of the Thomas-Brooke Affair's absence, we are on it again, and how. I'd thought B&B realized they had a real clunker of a storyline on their hands and so quietly wrapped it up, because it's far from a fan favorite. Instead, the character assassination of Thomas, Brooke, and Taylor continues. This week's episodes were really hard to get through. If I wasn't honor-bound to Scoop for you, I would have turned them off. Seriously.

To begin with, the conversation Taylor overheard was clearly scripted to initially make her think Brooke and Thomas had slept together. Once it was revealed they hadn't, Brooke made a poor choice of words by saying "no one must ever know about our kiss." There was no "our!" Brooke was asleep! It's not like she woke up, liked what she saw, and then went for it on her own. The second she was conscious, she put a stop to it. If she had simply been more accurate and said, "No one must ever know you kissed me," it might have squelched Taylor's paranoia at least a little.

Taylor used to be one of my favorite characters. Now? Don't put her on my screen again until she can be written as the intelligent, compassionate, and fair woman she used to be. How can Taylor attribute the kiss to what she thinks is Thomas' Oedipus complex in one breath, and then blame Brooke for it the next? Yes, Brooke had relationships with all the Forrester men. So did Taylor! Including Eric, albeit briefly, back in 1995. As well as Brooke's son, Rick. And how can B&B so blatantly ignore its own history? Brooke didn't seduce Eric away from Stephanie -- Eric had filed for divorce from Stephanie when he started pursuing Brooke himself! Brooke has done a lot of things, and I don't even fault Taylor for her suspicion. But let's get the facts straight!

At least Thomas owned what he did, and I have to admit that Adam Gregory is turning in better performances, too. But clearly, Taylor is not listening. Thomas flat-out said that he kissed Brooke, and was the one who insisted it be kept secret from Ridge. Now, despite being a mother who would naturally be prejudiced toward her son, Taylor is still a psychiatrist -- but apparently not a very good one, because she only hears what she wants to hear. She marched right into Ridge's office and cried, "They were kissing!" Um, no. Waking up with someone's lips on you is not kissing. If Taylor can't give Brooke the benefit of the doubt, can't she at least give it to Thomas and believe things happened the way he said?

I full well admit that Brooke should have gone to Ridge right away, even if Thomas asked her not to. Thomas had no place making moves on his father's wife. But it seems Brooke has become the fall guy in this situation. Ridge seemed more upset with Brooke for keeping the kiss a secret than he was with Thomas for doing the kissing in the first place. As I watched, I kept thinking, "Are we really supposed to believe Ridge and Brooke will break up over this?" I mean, it was such small potatoes.

I felt reassured when B&B finally dug a little and had Brooke admit that she really kept it a secret because she was afraid Ridge would think she led Thomas on. And more so when Ridge said, "I would never think that." For once, Brooke didn't do anything. Everything that's happening is clearly Thomas' doing. Ridge's declaration "This really hurt me" was one of the most honest things I've ever heard him say -- and one of the most honest things about this bad, bad, really bad story.

Over in the next office, Stephanie barely had a chance to say hello before Taylor descended on the poor woman with her latest round of anti-Brooke vitriol. But at least this aspect of the story had an interesting angle. Ordinarily, Stephanie would have jumped on that bandwagon with a pogo stick. This time, she took it all in and seemed to be defending Brooke. "She's not gonna do this to Ridge"... "maybe it's something [Thomas] did!" The spoilers said Stephanie would struggle with going back to her old ways, and that's a struggle that makes perfect sense. I always did think Stephanie had embraced Brooke too fast (due to B&B's lightning-fast storytelling). Such an inner conflict seems only right, and Susan Flannery delivered the confusion and disappointment with all the right nuances.

Not that Taylor didn't keep pushing her own agenda with more misinformation, reminding Stephanie that Brooke "got your husband to cheat on you". (Not even close -- although Taylor was right that Brooke left Thorne in the dust.) Stephanie, however, turned around and called Taylor out on some of her own. "If [Brooke] was asleep, what is there to blame her for?" she wanted to know. And wasn't La Forrester spot-on when she said that what Taylor really wanted was for Ridge to come running back to her? "I'm married," Taylor countered. Yeah, like that mattered when you called out Ridge's name in bed, sweetie.

So finally, Brooke came in and we actually found Stephanie caught between the two women instead of instantly siding with Taylor, as she'd have done in the past. Stephanie really seemed hurt that Brooke was in another mess. I only hope B&B won't use this as an excuse to destroy the Brooke/Stephanie friendship -- something we've seen way too little of so far in 2011. It's great to talk about their truce and remind us of it, but without seeing it for ourselves more often, there doesn't seem to be as much to lose when it's at risk. If it were a good risk, that is.

Unfortunately, this story is just bad news all around. Aside from a few interesting layers and a good line here and there, all this does is undermine the entire fabric of the show -- an even worse deed considering how B&B was starting to rise to a newer, better, fresher level. Not only is it so much rehash, but frankly, it's boring. Information was repeated constantly this week, scenes were dragged out, and characters came close to crossing lines that they won't be able to come back from.

That goes for Bill's desire to kill Amber, too. Surely Dollar Bill Spencer, the most interesting person on the show, could have come up with any number of other ways to mess with Amber, considering the toys and tricks he has at his disposal. I don't understand how B&B could have gone from so stellar just five months ago to practically unwatchable. What we're seeing on our screens right now had better all be leading up to something, and something good -- like Thomas being gay, perhaps? Even Brad Bell has admitted that's still a possibility! Why else would Thomas say he kissed Brooke to see if was "immune to her pull over the Forrester men"?

Last but not least, the inevitable confrontation between Ridge and Thomas ensued. I have to say, Ridge showed some balls, taking Thomas to task for disrespecting him and his marriage -- which is exactly what Thomas did. While I suppose the Taboo line could have simply been reconfigured to continue on without Brooke (why was Brooke ever modeling for the Men's Line, anyway? You never saw Eric or Ridge on the runway with their models!), at this point it's just as well that Ridge pulled the plug on it. Maybe it will mean this story is finally over -- and really, I didn't find the designs all that "hot," or even particularly inspired. Looks like they were just bought out of any upscale department store! But I digress.

I thought Thomas would take his lumps and move on. I didn't expect Thomas would sass his father seven ways to Sunday, telling Ridge to get over the kiss and claiming he was being condemned for something that Ridge got away with himself as a youth! Thomas even brought up Ridge "stealing" Brooke from Eric! Could blowing up Ridge's car be far behind? (No, dear readers, I'm not going to let the show forget that.) I did love that Ridge stood his ground and called Thomas out on his crappy attitude. Exactly why does Thomas suddenly have such a chip on his shoulder? At least it made the confrontation interesting -- and I hear tell we haven't seen the last of Thomas' sass yet. Go to your room!

Now you know my thoughts on B&B -- what are yours?

• "I would like to reply to the letter by Virginia S. in which she talked about Brooke 'being with' her husband's son. Brooke is in no way, shape or form 'with' Thomas. She has done nothing but be a supportive stepmother to him. He, on the other hand, has kissed her, twice - the first time without her consent, and the second time while she was asleep! I am so tired of Brooke being blamed for other people's behavior, on the show and off." - SAR

• "No matter how evil Steffy is being at this point, I had to laugh as Brooke - of all people - reproved her about going after an already-attached man. Was that the pot calling the kettle...? In addition, when will we ever see Brooke and Ridge acknowledge that their happiness has been built upon many people's damaged hearts, especially those of Steffy and Thomas. This is why I've never been able to get on the B/R bandwagon. Isn't it about time for Ridge to show up at Taylor's house to caress her cheek again? Incredible. [And] I can really tell when B&B's writer's block seeps in: 'Hey! Let's just use 15 minutes of our 30-minute show to shoot Brooke and Ridge in bed - AGAIN..." - Wanda

• "Great column, Mike. Thomas and Dayzee, huh? Nothing against bi-racial couples - [but] Dayzee is way out of Thomas' league. I prefer Dayzee and Marcus because Marcus likes her for all she is and who she was... Hope, girl, you got to get a tougher skin. This is what only your second boyfriend and you can't handle life's hardships...I still can't believe the mighty Dollar Bill Spencer has been shaken to his core. It is so strange watching Bill so emotional, on all fronts, and so eerily quiet. Don Diamont needs to get an Emmy for this. He is superb. Can't wait to see what Bill does next. Just hope that Mr. Bell doesn't destroy this character in the process." - Pat

• "...I haven't watched B&B in almost a month...[it's] rehashed so many story lines I've completely lost interest. Amber lying about her pregnancy? The wrong person overhearing Brooke and Thomas discuss a secret? Steffy going after Bill and generally showing zero class? Hope dumping her boyfriend due to a situation not of his making? Been there, done that. Brooke and Ridge falling apart due to a situation (that ridiculous kiss) she didn't even initiate? Been there, done that TOO many times. Sorry, B&B, until something, ANYTHING, changes - I'm out." - Ellen

And I fear many fans will follow suit if all this retread keeps up. Come on, B&B, we know you can do better -- now let's see evidence of it. Fast!

I'll wrap this up with some Points to Ponder:

Oliver claimed his arcade photos were from his and Hope's third date -- but they reflected his current hair style, not last year's hated moptop... Speaking of photos, when did Marcus and Dayzee take theirs, and why would they take any when they barely knew each other?... Seems strange that Marcus is being shipped back to Paris already... If Donna and Justin can see Bill's acting weird, why can't Katie?... Brooke joked about starting her own design house -- that could be interesting... Steffy and Thomas actually seemed like brother and sister this week -- but why does Steffy insist Dayzee is conning the family? Thomas is conning Dayzee, if anything... How can Taylor be so right about Steffy chasing after Bill and so completely off when it comes to Thomas?

Some really great lines this week, though... Brooke snarking that Taylor "would go running to Ridge if she saw me jaywalking," Thomas' description of Taylor as "arms-waving, head-bobbing, crazy end-of-the-world prophecies spewing out of her mouth" -- at least B&B is somewhat aware of how ridiculous they're making Taylor look... I literally laughed out loud when Thomas wondered why Steffy thought Brooke looked slutty in the photos, and Steffy admitted, "I'd probably think it if she were wearing a parka in church!"

Now if only the storylines could be as smart and snappy. One can hope. Make sure to make your voice heard on the Soap Central message boards, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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