Comfortably numb (and dumb)

Would a clever guy like Ridge be stupid enough to pop a handful of pills with a glass of wine?

Dear readers, I must know if any of you are as old as I am? Do you remember the sound effects from The Bionic Woman? It was the chunk-chunk-chunk sound that happened whenever she brushed her hair behind her ear to tune in her bionic hearing.

I always wondered if it was such super hearing, why a few strands of hair would keep it from working. Maybe you never made it past the opening credits. That's okay, because during the opening Jaime Sommers crushed a tennis ball with her bare hand; and that action also prompted the groovy bionic sound.

Well, if you aren't as old as I am, I will describe the bionic sound for you; it was the sound you heard at least 14 times this week when Ridge looked at Taylor through his blurry, pill popping, hazy, drug addled eyes. And I laughed every single time. There must be some "Cheesy 70's Sound Effects" tapes in the vault at CBS.

I am not mocking the actual plot, just the execution. I understand grief. I have lost enough people in my life to know that grief sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It lingers longer than people think it ought to, and they always make a point to tell you that "you should be over that by now." So in my opinion the thought behind Ridge's meltdown is solid; he is still reeling from Phoebe's death.

What I take issue with is the way they depicted Ridge expressing that grief. Would a clever guy like Ridge be stupid enough to pop a handful of pills with a glass of wine? Phoebe died before Christmas. One would assume that Ridge has had a few months to work through his feelings at least to the point where he shouldn't be suicidal. I tried to catch the name of the medication and I believe Taylor said it was Ativan.

I "Googled" Ativan and it said it is highly habit forming and should not be taken with alcohol. It also said Ativan should never be prescribed to anyone who has a history of addiction. Hmmm, isn't Taylor an alcoholic? Why would a doctor give that to Taylor knowing her history?

I also have to wonder why Taylor, a doctor who knows better, would share a highly addictive drug with Ridge. Was it was her hope that he would get hooked on pills and end up in her bed? Wow, maybe the writers from the Bold and the Beautiful watched old reruns of General Hospital and adored the old Maxie Jones/Lucky Spencer plot.

You'd think after Taylor battled alcoholism, (not to mention driving drunk and killing Darla) she would be a little more aware of Ridge's slurred speech and woozy demeanor. I can't believe that she doesn't realize something is wrong. She was married to Ridge. I can tell if my husband has had a glass of wine, and I would certainly notice if he had slurred speech and Stephanie already alerted Taylor that Ridge had stolen pills from her bottle. Which begs the question; why didn't Taylor leave her stash at home rather than bringing a full bottle of pills along in a wide open purse?

And readers, Ridge took ALL of the pills. If Taylor reaches for a pill next week and Ridge convinces her that she dropped them in the parking lot or something, I might yell at my TV again. I bet my neighbors secretly call me "Crazy TV Lady." I have a hunch this is going to drag on for awhile and patience is not my strong suit.

Depending on your point of view, we were either "treated to" or "tortured by" a Price is Right crossover this week on B&B.

I understand CBS's desire to boost ratings for its two franchises and the "cross pollination" might have worked. However my desire to see the story progress usually has little patience for stunt days. I am not a fan of "very special episodes" on any show. But I have to admit, this concept was more entertaining than most.

Just for the record, if a lunatic once smeared me with honey and attempted to make a bear eat me, I would NEVER go out on a social engagement with them. Not even after they had brain surgery. Everyone knows insane people have relapses, especially on soaps.

That having been said, Donna and Pam were hilarious. It was a fun but pointless diversion. The prizes that Donna had to bid on, like Lemon Bar mix, the brand of dog food the deceased "Tiny" ate and the Honey-Bear Honey were all winks to the audience. It tickled me, but I kept waiting to get back to the "real" story. But hey, if it helps B&B to pay their bills, so be it.

B&B must be doing something right. While all the other soaps are firing their veterans, B&B is scooping them up. Each time they snag another veteran from another show, their canvas becomes richer. Scoring Don Diamont after he was let go from Y and R was a boon to the show, Bill Spencer has instantly become the guy we love to hate. Coming up next will be three time Emmy winner Rick Hearst, who was tragically underused at GH. He was plucked off the vine by B&B not long after GH handed him his walking papers.

Over the years, the Bold and the Beautiful has made great use of General Hospital's castoffs; Chris Robinson (Rick Weber GH to Jack Hamilton B&B) Jack Wagner (Frisco Jones, GH; Nick Marone, B&B) Leslie Kay (Lois Cerullo, GH; Felicia Forrester, B&B) Antonio Sabato Jr (Jagger Cates, GH; Dante Damiano, B&B) Sean Canaan (A.J. Quartermaine, GH; Deacon Sharpe, B&B) Ian Buchanan (Duke Lavery, GH; James Warwick, B&B) and a few more who made brief stints which I won't mention. Now we add the wonderful Rick Hearst to the list.

Okay purists, I can read your minds... Rick was on B&B first, so you think he shouldn't count. But I decided he does count. Hearst has been on GH as a major player for the past seven years.

I am a loyal viewer of both shows, and write columns for both shows. So, to any of my GH readers who took my suggestion for you to read the B&B column today, here is my message: If you miss your GH favorites of the past, start watching the Bold and the Beautiful. They are most likely here. [To read Tamilu's General Hospital Two Scoops for this week, click here]

And if not, you could always become mesmerized by Stephanie Forrester, a mother so involved in her kids lives that well into their 40's she is still meddling in their love lives and scheming to make sure they end up in bed with her preferred partners. Stephanie called Taylor this week and tipped her off that Brooke was planning to pay Ridge a visit. Taylor didn't want Brooke to come over because she was very busy trying to seduce him (so busy she didn't notice he was stoned.) and Stephanie volunteered to keep Brooke occupied. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine my Mom being in cahoots with one of my old boyfriends.

Old boyfriend: "Uh yeah, I realized I was a fool to lose Tammy, so could you keep her husband occupied while I try to seduce her?"

Tammy's Mom: Are you insane?

But Ridge's Mom thought that was a fine idea. She preferred Taylor to Ridge's current wife Brooke. But wait, Ridge and Brooke's marriage isn't really legal because Aunt Pam wrote a bid for the Price is Right on their marriage license instead of the correct numbers. Back to that are we? Yup.

At the center of the storm are Rick and Steffy. Now that Steffy's big news about reuniting with Rick broke up Ridge and Brooke's marriage and sent her Dad into a fog of pill popping; Steffy has decided perhaps she and Rick ought to slow down. What? She's as loopy as her Dad and hasn't even started popping pills yet.

And in other odd familial bonds, Nick Marone is having a terwilliger because his Mom is engaged to Owen. And if you don't know what terwilliger means then you should have met my Grandma. It was one of her secret words. Basically it means Nick freaked out, but readers, I love you enough to share my Grandma's special word with you.

Nick is certain that Owen is only using Jackie for her money, and I fear we are going to witness that same fight about 42 more times.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Donna admit to Eric that she won the Showcase Showdown even though they are bazillionaires? Will Owen and Bridget hook up while Nick and Jackie are fighting about them? Will Bill Spencer smell blood in the water and hit on the newly single sisters Brooke and Katie? Will Ridge slip one of Taylor's pills to Thomas to help him chill out too? Will anyone realize the reason Forrester Creations is going under is that no one there actually works so there are probably no gowns in the boutiques for elegant lady types to buy? Will Drew Carey model suits for Eric on the runway?