A crazy top ten

Don't Thorne and Felicia have better things that they could be doing, instead of hanging around and eating Pam's baked goods?

And there should probably be MORE than ten but I only have so much room, you know?

1) Crazy stories that have DOGS as some kind of plot device!! First we had Pucci so many year s ago that died suddenly and helped hasten the exit of Samantha from B&B. Her dog bed wasn't even cold before everyone in LA went about their daily lives and forgot all about her. PLEASE! Now everyone's favorite corporate Doberman, Tiny, has bought the farm as a result of too many lemon bars? I can't believe I have even typed these words but I have and now Tiny's demise will start WWIII between Donna and Psycho Aunt Pam. And do Thorne and Felicia have anything better to do than hang around eating Pam's baked goods? The writers better give them something to do or they will get sucked down into the 'recurring black hole'.

2) Poor 'overnight crazy' Storm...all it took was the stroke of a few keys on the computer and now he is a homicidal menace to society that needs to be locked up forever. Does anyone else think all of this happened WAY to soon? I thought he and Ashley might have made a cute pair but since when to the writers listen to me, huh? The scary musical 'stabs', the far away evil looks...it's all a recipe for him to exit stage left. It's a shame...Brad should have done something better with him than make him Ted Bundy in the blink of an eye.

3) Crazy middle age guys who can't decide what the heck they want...hello Ridge? Are you listening? You love Ashley, she still loves you (hey, no accounting for taste, huh?)...just put them together and move on! I have a hard time believing that the writers have not gotten a healthy dose of support for these two. They have more heat than he and Brooke, that's for sure. Why the writers are tip-toeing around this is beyond me. He hangs around and hangs around with Brooke but can't stop thinking about Ashley. 2+2 still equals 4, doesn't it?

4) Crazy old guys dressing like they are heading to a rock concert while popping their Viagra. Eric and Donna are another couple that is driving me crazy every week but how the hair and wardrobe people are portraying him is just so far beyond silly that there are not enough words to describe it. I am all for a good looking older man to look like he has style but this borders on the cartoonish. Of course it doesn't help to have Skank Logan calling him 'Honey Bear' all the time either but that's beside the point. Ugh.

5) Crazy middle age sailors who can't decide which Logan they want. I love Nick, I really do but last week I got sick of watching him do the dance with Bridget and not be honest about how he feels. He clearly doesn't want a serious relationship and yet kisses her butt and tells her he's sorry for kissing someone else and promises never to do it again. Well, if you are 'keeping things light', you don't make that promise and you reiterate that things are NOT serious and that you may want to keep your options open. Sounds heartless but it would be the most honest thing to say. Instead the writers are determined to skewer his character some more and paint him out to be a pig playing aunt vs. niece. I say if Brad won't give him and Brooke a healthy shot at romance, let him have some fun with Katie...they really have a steamy chemistry that I really hadn't expected before last week. It's kinda fun to watch...

6) Crazy women all fighting like, how did Bridget put it last week...'catty bitches'? Well, something like that anyway. I swear I have never seen so many women go 'ga-ga' over being Mommy to a baby on a soap!! Taylor (who should be the only Mommy, period!), Bridget (scary obsessed Mommy who is trying to replace her dead baby), Katie (cool and fun Mommy who can show Jack how to shoot hoops), and Brooke (wishy-washy Mommy who wants to stick it Taylor one last time). Crazy, ALL of them! Jack will need LOADS of therapy before he gets to high school.

7) Crazy boyfriends that don't know when to BUTT OUT of other people's business! Rick's heart (and hormones) may be in the right place but GEEZ! Junior better tread lightly...Nick looked like he was going to take his face off last week and no wonder! He's having lawyers draw up papers? WHAT? He may think he is in love with Taylor and maybe the writers will push this story a little longer but I swear I don't see it lasting. I do wonder if that is the slant here that Taylor loves driving Brooke crazy with this relationship and knows it. Well, whatever it may be, Rick needs to let Taylor and Nick handle this. This baby could be facing having it's half-brother be his stepfather for crying out loud...who would have thought Nick and Taylor having a baby would have all these Logans trying to raise it?

8) Crazy Brooke and her gigantic case of amnesia! Does she not remember signing away her parental rights in the interest of everyone involved? Now we are running through the countryside declaring ourselves as Jack's mommy and that we need to suddenly be raising the child WITH Nick. Interesting...just a few weeks ago she told him should could not be with him because the Wooden One is her destiny. I guess the amnesia zapped all that, too! The ultimate Logan cake-eater can't have it her way this time...I'd love to have the writers leave her with nothing for a few months...no Ridge because he has finally had enough of her waffling and no Nick for the same reason. That would probably do her some good.

9) How about crazy Ashley? Crazy for not making a stronger move on Ridge than she has. She still has a thing for him and with his relationship with Brooke being on such obviously shaky ground, now is the time to remind him that 'destiny' hasn't worked out so well for him in the past. Make your move woman! Brooke isn't all that!

10) Crazy columnists that do nothing but complain! I know...but I always find the good in every week even when the readers email me saying that the show has turned to crap recently. I like the possibility of Nick and Katie, I like Ashley still being on the show (fingers crossed!!!), I liked seeing Jackie last week (need to see more of her, by the way!) and I am giddy with anticipation that the worst couple in daytime, Ridge and Brooke, may be no more very soon. Look at me...I'm so sunny and bright!! Right? Hello?

It was unanimous in last week's responses to the question of who the best B&B villain of all time was....Sheila Carter. Yes, I would have to agree. No one does psychotic like Sheila...and in 2 different shows no less!! I'd love to see her come storming back on the scene with Massimo's daughter Diana, SORAS'ed, of course!

QUESTION---------Who should be Jack's Mommy? With so many women vying for the title, let's hear from the B&B faithful!

The Soap Box

Niki says: 'Only area I disagree is I think Taylor and Rick are great together. I never thought he should be with Phoebe, it felt inappropriate and quite frankly boring. It is unfortunate that she dated him so maybe they could get Phoebe some new great boyfriend -- and she could disappear for awhile. Her storyline is always so predictable.' Louanne writes: 'Who's the best villain on B&B? Without a doubt, Sheila Carter. A name that strikes fear in the hearts of soap characters and fans on not just 1 but 2 soaps! No one did nasty and vicious better. Too bad Y&R had to go and kill her.'

Jfaye proclaims: 'I think Taylor and Rick are hot.Stormy is way too creepy for anyoneright now. Maybe he and Brookeshould go on a retreat somewhere andwork on getting their heads onstraight. They should take Bridgetalong. What are the writers doing toall their characters. You are dead onthat Nick is the male version ofBrooke. He and Ridge are more alikethan either brother cares to admit.' '