An abandoned mineshaft?

There was not a new column this week, so instead, please enjoy a look back at what was happening in Los Angeles during the week of February 7, 2005.

Okay, my email inbox is so full these days with emails begging me to explain why Brad would condone an incestuous relationship between Phoebe and Rick that I felt this was the best starting point for this week's column. I know...it seems icky, foul, and downright Deliverance in nature, but technically, it is legal. However, to many and sometimes even to myself, it will forever be a little weird.

Brooke and Eric had two kids...and while Bridget's paternity was a bit "muddy" for a while -- she was originally thought to be Ridge's daughter -- Rick was Eric's without a doubt, hence the name "Eric Forrester Jr." Ridge and Taylor had Phoebe. Ridge was proven not to be related in any way to Eric through Stephanie's tryst with Massimo. Ridge is a Moron...um, I mean Marone, and Taylor is a Hayes. No Forrester blood or DNA connection to be found.

Rick and Phoebe, prior to the Massimo reveal, were uncle and niece, but no more. Now, they would be stepbrother and stepsister when and if Ridge and Brooke get married for the 359th time. For some, that is gross enough, but for others, it is hard to get by the earlier connection. It is hard to imagine these two not being related, I agree. I still look at them that way myself.

I guess what makes it harder is that Ridge rarely talks about being a Marone, and they have no relationship onscreen. We all still look at Ridge as Eric's son, but he's not and Rick and Phoebe, technically, could get busy. But in all this talk of incest and the overall feeling of disgust that surrounds this new storyline, I think there is another larger issue with these two that no one, so far, has addressed.

Rick, by virtue of him being Brooke's oldest child, should be around 30 by now. Phoebe is 18 and had said as much in her dialogue. That's the problem in my eyes. He's too old for her. I know there have been soap couples with bigger age differences than this on many shows but this one, to me, makes Rick look like a dirty old man. He has been around the block, and she hasn't even stepped off the curb yet.

Poor Shane was trying to get with her in all kinds of ways, and she resisted him...what makes Rick think he will get any further? But then again, this whole thing is already smelling of a Ridge/Brooke Jr. kind of thing, and their starry-eyed chemistry is being played like a fine instrument in every scene they are in. Singing together, looking at the night sky, fiery words in the office...it's so obvious where this is going.

Experienced and worldly Romeo and chaste and nave Juliet with a disapproving set of parents ghouling around them, reminding them they are, uh, were related at one point. Of course never mind that Ridge was tonguing Bridget not long ago under the exact same circumstances...but then again, none of the same rules apply to Ridge ever. That man should be the poster boy for Teflon coating.

We jump from the impending family tragedy of Rick and Phoebe to the poor schlep Shane McGrath who, for seemingly no other reason than to woo Phoebe, finally cleaned up his act and got a suit-and-tie kind of job. I have to say this...he does clean up well, huh? Poor guy, he doesn't stand a snow ball's chance now that everyone is "keeping it in the family." He'll be headed for the door just like Harry was. Harry who? Yeah, exactly.

I felt sorry for him, though. For a fleeting moment I thought he seemed very sincere in wanting to impress Phoebe with dinner and the business card. Oops...well maybe the card wasn't so romantic, but I could see what he was trying to do. Phoebe is a spoiled little Daddy's girl, and Shane would never be good enough.

Is there an exorcist in the house? The demon of true hypocrisy has taken over that woman's soul, I swear! That awful speech with Nick about how much she will always love him and that she wishes they could start again was just plain disgusting to watch. She can't forgive his trespasses but she, as always, gets a free pass for all the dalliances with Ridge that compromised their marriage.

Yeah, cake-eater with a capital C! What did she expect Nick to say...he'll wait around alone for the rest of his life, punishing himself for something Brooke essentially helped create? Why tease the poor man with all the "I still love yous" if you have no intention of leaving the shelf Ridge has put you on? What was the point of the whole scene except to further set up some future drama between them after Ashley starts working on her old flame Ridge. Oh yeah! Now there are some scenes I can't wait for!!!!

So Ashley leaves life in China or wherever she was exiled in Y&R by her brother's shenanigans and heads to LA to help Brooke with a new Forrester Originals fragrance. Got to have something nice to counter the stench of hypocrisy and lechery. I think she will be the much-needed shot in the rear that this show needs. She is a mature character and every bit a match for the Wooden One, praying jazz hands and all. I love what Nick said about him being a woman's man instead of a man's man.

Ashley has never shied away from the pretty boys, that's for sure. Interesting, though, how they may explain their "former relationship," since we have never heard anything about it, and I'm sure Brooke will not have heard about it either. Ooooh...this will be good! Brooke will not only be threatened by Ashley's presence, but apparently she gets to watch Taylor and Nick get closer. All that cake's a bitch, huh? She could end up with no one if she doesn't watch her back. Maybe it would do her some good the more I think of it.

Eric has once again been nominated for Saint as he has arranged for Ann and Pam to stay in LA against Stephanie's wishes. And what's up with that, anyway? Why would she care? She is the one who said she needs to work on her relationship with both of them, yet the thought of them being in the same radius makes her crazy? Why? Pam deserves to have a life for once (though I'm afraid her idea of a life includes getting busy with her brother-in-law!), and Ann just needs to feel like someone wants her around.

Okay, so what? Stephanie doesn't want anyone actually seeing the day-to-day meddling she does that makes her no better than her mother. How rude of her to act that way! Well, she better start wearing aprons and bake some cookies or something soon because it is becoming obvious to anyone who has eyeballs that Pam and the June Cleaver thing is working just a little on Eric. Poor Pam hasn't had a man in so long she would probably tear that poor man up in the bedroom (and we all know Stephanie is a dead fish in that department, by her own admission!). What I want to see this week: Nick stick it to the Forresters by any means necessary. I don't care if the Tooth Fairy is the next distributor...just fry them already!! Taylor and Nick to be hotter than hot! We need some crazy sweaty relations on this show and quick! Rick and Phoebe to...well, whatever they will do, everyone will freak about anyway. Jackie to, for once, stop calling her son "Nickeee"...gets on my last nerve! Brooke to shut down the "one-eye tear thing" and at least move on to the other eye.

Okay, well no need to go over the questions results from last week, so on to a new question: Does anyone think Ridge and Brooke will actually make it to the altar? And I don't want to see a bunch of "Who cares?" emails, either! That is a forgone conclusion that no one cares, but I really want to know how many think they are doomed yet again, either due to Brooke's "alleged" love of Nick and jealously of Taylor or simply the thought of Ashley sleeping with Ridge to make her insecure.

And congrats to the city of Indianapolis and their fans for their long-awaited Super Bowl victory! Though I am a Steelers fan 'til the end, I like Peyton Manning, and it was great to see him silence the critics. Great job!!

SOAPBOX Lois writes in:'By the way I hear Eileen Davidson (Ashley of Y&R) is joining B&B. Good maybe some competition for Brooke. As for Ridge, what's with his disheveled hair and beard......looks like a bum......yuk. Is it me or did Brooke not want to get too close to him in a couple of scenes. Can't say as I blame her he makes me sick to my stomach.' Linda says: 'Come on gf, stop stop stop the Ridge bashing. There are so many others to bash also. Again does Ronn Moss know you hate him....LOL And Jack Wagner has to go, why are you making this man out to be a saint. I do see Brooke standing up for herself more and that is good. Brad Bell has too many players much too many. Not using the main one like Thorne poor guy. Well anyway you have a good one and nice to see your still up to the Ridge bashing LOL ' Linda (She gets me every time! Love ya!!!)

Judith from Down Under writes: 'Bring back Deacon - bring back Amber - and bring back Massimo - were about 3 months behind you - but just love your column - read it every week and catch up with the story every day.' (Besides the US, Australia has the most Scoops readers...you all are fantastic!!)Doris says: ' I don't understand why Rick and Phoebe getting together is incest. They have different mothers and fathers. I think the new Rick has spiced up the show, I was getting ready to ax this show for good.'Have a great week everyone!!! And Happy Valentines Day...