Mendacity! Also known as lying, is prevalent in Genoa City, Wisconsin. We have an entire city of people who seem to lie as easily as they breathe. Let's start with perhaps the most creative liar in town, Phyllis Summers Romalotti Newman. Apparently, this comely seductress has been fibbing since the day she arrived. Through countless relationships and a handful of marriages, Phyllis somehow managed to lie about the first two decades of her life. It was as if Phyllis truly only became a person when she hit the city limits.
Well, guess what? The pack of lies that Phyllis has been peddling are about to be revealed as hogwash thanks to the goofy new character Avery Bailey Clark, the lady who's there to save Sharon from a lifetime behind bars, but is really there to remind Phyllis that she's her sister. Or is she? What the hell did Phyllis leave behind anyway? Did she kill someone? Is Avery really her daughter and not her sister? Was Phyllis the victim of sexual abuse and had Avery when she was 15, at the same time that Phyllis killed her abuser? Maybe it was a relative, a skeevy uncle or -- oh no -- her father? That would be right out of the movie Chinatown. I bet you that they're going in that direction. …Which would make Summer and Avery sisters; sweet, but twisted. Can't you see a year from now that Avery and Phyllis are best friends, having lattes together at Crimson Lights?
It's interesting that Phyllis was so careful to keep her past a secret from Nick for years, then she blurts it out to Avery -- and Nick just happens to hear it. Yeah, right, only on a soap opera, hmm? I love daytime, but that's a gimmick. I'd rather he'd have found out in some other way -- maybe something Avery had done to force the issue. Now it's just out there. Of course, will Nick really be so judgmental about it? If so, why? Look at his life!
A few more thought about Phyllis. I think it's terrible that she still has Lucy and there's been nothing further in that story. Victoria and Billy's lives were ruined just so Phyllis could hang onto Lucy. And how will that play into the Avery story? There's going to be some connection -- just you wait and see. But Daniel is not interested in his daughter, and Daisy is locked up (hopefully for life). It makes Phyllis really seem like a selfish bitch that she had to take Lucy from Billy and Victoria.
The other thing about Phyllis is this: does she work anymore? Paging Restless Style -- are you guys publishing anymore? All this news in town -- a murder, Sharon's new trial, Jabot being acquired by Chancellor -- and nothing is happening at the magazine except Nick and Phyllis doing the horizontal mambo on the desk. Seriously, can't Nick ever find a new woman in Genoa City? He's always bouncing from Sharon to Phyllis and back again. Give eHarmony.com a shot, Nick! At least Jack's giving Genevieve a tumble.
So the big revelation of the week was Delia's leukemia. I hate when they make kids sick on soaps. It's very manipulative. Sure, it's realistic because it does happen, but those are real tragedies, not a plot device. Delia is going to survive. This is just a ploy to get Billy back to town. Why not give the child something that's not a life-and-death issue? Why turn up the volume?
Unless this happens… I predict that in the search for the bone marrow donor, Billy will come back, but he's not ultimately going to be the match. It's going to be Victoria's unborn baby. What baby, you say? Remember the night before Billy left, he and Victoria did it on the couch? I think we're going to find out that she's pregnant, and with amniocentesis they'll determine that the baby's bone marrow is a match. Then will Victoria allow a mid-pregnancy procedure to risk her unborn to save Delia?
Can you see the dilemmas there -- how will she choose? Will Billy side with the new baby or his Delia? Chloe will flip out. Victor will flip out. Everyone will have an opinion…. And Victoria is desperate to have a baby, remember? If that's the end game, then I'll accept why we had to put Delia in a life-or-death situation.
Another aspect of the Delia story bugged me, too. Chloe. She's such an over-the-top character. She blew a gasket about Ronan, confronted him at his apartment, and they shared love in the afternoon. Okay, good for Chloe. But now they're killing her for having sex. One romp with Ronan, and that's the moment that her kid's in the hospital with leukemia. How's that for an indictment on a parent who dares to have a life outside their child's life. It wasn't really said -- except by Chloe -- but she had no right turning off the cell phone for sex. Seriously, she should have known better. But even if she found out about Delia three hours earlier, it wouldn't have changed the diagnosis.
What was really dumb about Chloe was how she found a way to make Billy the bad guy for Delia getting sick! Chloe pushed Billy out of Delia's life, even after he begged to speak to his daughter and even after Delia said she missed her daddy. Chloe claimed that she knew better. So a depressed and distraught Billy flew away to stew. He's a self-destructive guy. He shouldn't have gone away, but I understand it. How was he to know that Delia would become sick? How would she have not been diagnosed with leukemia if he was still living in the trailer? Chloe's venting about Billy made no sense. She just sounded like a vindictive bitch.
I really, really don't understand how they're writing Katherine Chancellor these days. She was nasty to Murphy on the phone and impatient with Esther and Jill at the hospital. She's been a horrible mother to Tucker, to the point of not telling him about Devon being his son. Then she swoops in and tries to steal Devon's affection by giving him a music contract and leaving him a share of her estate in her will. How is that the actions of a good mother?
Neil was right to be suspicious of Katherine, and I hope he's smart enough to put two and two together to see that Kay is up to no good. It looks like Jill's got it figured out. But what is Kay's motivation for being this brittle? She should want to build a bridge to Tucker, especially in light of his nearly dying and her advanced age. There are only so many years left before Mrs. Chancellor is gone. Now's not the time to alienate her son Tucker.
I can't imagine how Billy wound up in a prison. What the hell did he do, and why would the authorities not contact his family once he was booked? Even if he doesn't have identification, he knows his own name. You know, it's the Far East, not Somalia! He hasn't been captured by pirates -- and even pirates would be ransoming him to the people who love him. Instead we have Billy stuck in some desolate prison. Poor Billy, he's really going to have to dig out of this one.
What's the deal with Sam? Sharon seemed to be giving him the freedom to move on from her -- maybe she's found a new lover in prison? Maybe a woman? Ha, no! Not on this show. Anyway, back to Sam: is he in love with Sharon like we thought, or is he making time with Victoria? That dog was adorable -- the perfect way to get Victoria to become smitten with Sam. And he can install a hot water heater without hiring a handyman! What do you think will happen, though, if Sam turns out to be related to Victor -- another long-lost son? Adam's unclaimed twin perhaps? If that were the case, his affection for Victoria could be just plain incestuous!
We took a week off from the Diane Jenkins investigation…nobody seemed to remember that they were suspects. Nick and Ashley stopped talking to each other. Abby was nowhere in sight. Tucker stopped scratching his arm. Did he finally get some Benadryl? Except for Jack worrying about Kyle starting school, there wasn't much interest in who killed Diane last week. Even Ronan wasn't obsessing about it. Truth be told, I didn't miss it very much…perhaps this murder is a dud?
Sharon's trial might be a better storyline. Avery is very shrewd -- that was a nice maneuver in court -- but she's good at playing she the doofus. It's all a calculation. I was surprised that Victor fell for it; he's usually sharper than that…but Victor has screwed up before -- remember Patty Williams. He miscalculated there, didn't he? By the way, where is Diane's killer? Yeah, that's right. I think Patty killed Diane.
That's it for now. I'm anxious to hear more from you all -- your theories are dynamite. And tell me about which characters you'd like to talk about in the Two Scoops! Write me! If you're not sure how to write to me, click the Feedback option at the top of the page, the Email link at the footer of the column, or just click here. Till then, let's take a look at some letters from the mailbox: