Genoa City is a magical city, like something out of Harry Potter. Jill and the magic mystery magazine. Did you know that with a wave of her wand, Jill could do an interview and have it published the very next day? Oh yes, it can be done, but as someone who's actually worked on magazines and in newsrooms, I can assure you it's practically impossible! Especially what Jill wrote. That story would have needed to be vetted by attorneys. Then it would have had to have been fact-checked. Then a designer would have had to do the layout. Boards would have to be approved by the publisher -- that would be Billy. And then, finally, something would be put in print. Even web site publications have steps that must be taken. Jill didn't even transcribe the interview! Shoddy storytelling and insulting to the viewer.
Then there was Jana's trip to the catacombs, which was like something out of Pirates of the Caribbean, with her wandering down spooky halls and narrow stairs, only to discover Ryder and Daisy had trapped her again. With that giant flashlight in her hand, why the hell didn't Jana smash it over Ryder's head? Wouldn't that have been your first instinct? I don't understand at all what Ryder and Daisy are about. I don't comprehend that kind of evil worship. They're like Manson followers, doing the bidding of some malevolent mother -- whoever she is. But, seriously, why? What could make them act like that, with such hatred? Had Jana ever done something to them that was worthy of that kind of response? Like I said, when I see such stark evil like that, I'm not only turned off, I don't buy it. It's contrived. I'd like to see Maria Arena Bell sent to her office for a time-out. See, I could've said she belonged in the cage, but that's just too mean.
Another hard to believe storyline is Patty as Emily. I know, I know, I've harped on this before, but are men -- Jack -- really that dim? Can't he see that his wife is not the woman he's known for the past few months? Patty's not even faking the psychiatric stuff that well, and yet everyone is sucked in. And how do you think she's faking Emily's signature and her knowledge of hospital procedures and dealing with other professionals?
What was the point of Kevin going on a date? What, it gave Gloria and Jeffrey something to do. Dumb, dumb, dumb... Even if Kevin wasn't still hung up on Jana, shouldn't he be allowed some time to mourn the end of his marriage? I felt bad for the girl he had dinner with. She was deceived and that wasn't very fair to her.
Michael flipped out about the pictures of Lauren and Paul. Wouldn't it have been a better play if he had simply laughed them off? Imagine instead of getting upset, he said, "I love you, Lauren, and I don't believe that you'd do anything to hurt our marriage." Imagine if he were confident enough in their relationship to not take the pictures seriously. But at least he got a headache in Lauren's office, which will hopefully lead to finding out who's been terrorizing Lauren and why. Isn't it strange that Michael hasn't suggested taking Lauren away for a while? On a cruise, there'd be no Daisy and Ryder to poison her.
The week wasn't all evil, thank goodness. We finally got the resolution of Faith's maternity, although how Nick and Sharon are going to deal with raising a child when they're not together will be complicated. Nick will disappoint Phyllis, no matter how honorable he says he is about being true to Summer and Phyllis. Can you see the catastrophe ahead? I can.
Then there's Ashley. She's devastated and rightfully so. Victor was right; a cruel hoax had been perpetrated on both of them. But Ashley shouldn't crumble now. That would be expected and predictable. Why not make it so that experience makes her stronger! Suppose she becomes an advocate for orphaned children in Haiti or does something else positive? It's probably too soon, but Ashley could adopt a child if she wants to be a mother again.
The Chloe and Chance connection was cute, although having been a New Yorker, I can tell you that you couldn't drag me to Soho with the lure of solid, milk chocolate Easter bunnies (which are delish!). Anyway, the cab scene was a convenient way for them to make the scene all about New York without actually going there. Chance is just about too good to be true and I'm certain that Chloe will be the world's worst wife, so enjoy this romantic, mushy stuff for now.
Finally, Adam. What now? He's smarter than Jack apparently. He figured out that Patty is faking it as Emily, and he didn't even have to see her naked or in bed to figure out that they're two different women. What's he going to do with the information? Blackmailing Patty could be a big mistake; she's nuts.
Oh, one last finally. The results of this year's Y&R edition of the Dankies were really, really interesting. Billy Miller has swiftly become the most popular and respected actor on the show. What a revelation for the Billy Abbott character! He's become so much more relevant and interesting than ever before and that's thanks to Billy Miller's acting. Bravo. Also, and not surprisingly, Jeanne Cooper is the queen bee for the fans. Everyone loves Jeanne, and Kay's storylines - like her regaining her memory - were favorites. And guess what? You all hated the Silver Chipmunk story as much as I did! If you want to check out the results or vote in the All-Soaps ballot (where all the winners from all the soaps compete against each other), click here.
Before we share some letters, I would like to say something very serious and personal about Lily's story. I relate very strongly to her plight because I am also going through a fight with cancer. The same kind of cancer, and I've been fighting a reoccurrence for over two years now. Unlike Lily, however, I live in the real world where health coverage is a constant struggle. I have created a cause called the "Nothing's Impossible" project. I would like to ask you now to please click over to simplystreisand.com/allison.html and read about it. If you can, I'd appreciate any help you can give me.
Before wrapping up, let's check out the mailbag…