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 Two Scoops: November 16, 2009 columns
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John Driscoll
Wake me when the really good stuff starts
by Nita
For the Week of November 16, 2009
This week's Two Scoops columns
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Maybe it was just me, but I found it a rather tough week to trudge through. No matter what time of day I tried to view the day's offering, it turned into repeated rounds of watch a little, doze a little, awaken and rewind. As I yawned my way through many of the days, I found myself glancing repeatedly at the calendar to make sure it was really November. Is this really Sweeps Month material? These z-z-z-z weeks happen occasionally (I think of them as set-up weeks, a sort of interlude which lays the groundwork for the next part of the hopefully more exciting story to come). Anyway, on with what I came here to do.

So, is anyone else growing a wee bit weary of the GC Memorial Hospital set? It's been used so often lately, perhaps its likeness should be featured in the opening pictorial montage. Chance is the latest GC resident to recite his lines in an appropriately weakened whisper from a hospital bed, while doting family and friends hover anxiously around him. I like Chance, who still exudes that breath of fresh (and normal) air among all his more world-weary companions. And I know his stabbing was not supposed to provide a reason for my levity.

Call me crazy and uncaring if you like, but as his gurney made its way through the very public and germ-laden waiting room area (which was, by the way, a completely unbelievable occurrence), I couldn't help but giggle like a crazed hyena as the entire Chancellor and company entourage formed a loose line and stumbled worriedly behind it. Excuse me a moment, while I giggle about it all over again. Anyway, once I got past my inappropriate silliness, I did enjoy his moments with Chloe and Phillip. Concerning the latter, however, if I had been the director of that scene, I would have had Nina and Chloe exit with Paul, so father and son could have had their moment without an audience hanging on their every word. The scene stealer award, as always, goes directly to the adorable Delia.

Before I leave GC Memorial, I have to wave at Lily, whose repeated visits will soon likely entitle her to her own reserved room. Never, ever, ever, would I make light of a cancer diagnosis, even a make-believe soap one, and I do like Lily, but even I am getting a little weary of her rather disagreeable tone. No matter how closely Cane helpfully hovers or how soft and respectful his tone, Lily's responses to him are more often than not negative and snappish. I get that she would be despondent over the unfairness of the medical turn her life has taken, and would undoubtedly feel the need to rail occasionally at the fickle hand of fate that removed her chance of carrying her own baby to term, but it would be nice to have a dollop or two of positivity to balance all that negativity. Thank goodness Mac came along in the nick of time to offer the free rental of her womb to hopefully harbor Lily and Cane's future likeness. Because I can't imagine weeks or months of more of Lily's long face and the endlessly self-pitying monologues we would have had to endure had Mac not stepped up to the proverbial plate.

Not that it's a completely done deal, given Billy's bluntly outspoken opposition. Will Mac's determination to make a difference sound the death knell to their long-delayed happily ever after? And if it doesn't, will Billy's words prove to be prophetic about the bond between baby and surrogate or even baby's father and surrogate? Right now, I can't see Cane turning from Lily to Mac, but this is Genoa City, where the most unlikely often comes to pass.

Speaking of Billy, boy, he's quickly becoming the most detested dude in town, isn't he? I would expect the Newmans to have nothing but distaste for him, given his tabloid treatment of two of their own. Even Ashley, who, naturally, would feel somewhat betrayed after she furnished the funds to bring her brother's dream to fruition, only to have him attack Abby's father. But I'm just a bit surprised at Jack. If I hadn't known better, his reaction might have led me to believe he's been behaving like a choirboy all these many years, with nary a black blot on his name, but I've had my eagle eye on that man for quite some time, and Billy's antics aren't even in the same ballpark as some of Jack's.

So what, Billy published a poison piece on the twirling mustache man. It isn't as if Jack hasn't done the same! In fact, wasn't he the blurry ghost writer behind this one? Pot, meet kettle. But, his nose is presumably all pushed out of place because Billy dared to mention Patty. I have to wonder, would Jack still desire to delete his brother's image from the family digital album if Miss Emily Head Doctor hadn't become the latest object of his adoration? It would have been a perfect time for Patriarch John to pay his finger-pointing son a visit with a curling list of his own misdeeds to put things in their proper perspective.

By the way, am I the sole fan who finds Jack's infatuation with the good doctor a bit bizarre at best? Emily has the same face, form, and voice as her Mary Jane look-a-like, the woman Jack rejected even before he knew her real identity, but suddenly Jack is entranced and enchanted. I guess even as Mary Jane, her Patty-neediness came bleeding through. Jack always seems to prefer the women he has to chase down and tackle over those who willingly clamber atop a silver platter, position themselves attractively, and present themselves for his pleasure.

But, as usual, I digress from my original path. Which was Jack's disgust and disowning of his brother. He points a shaking finger of indignation at Billy for destroying his dream of being King of Jabot. What? Even if Billy and Ashley had been fully aboard, clearly Kay had and has no intention still of returning the Jabot deed to the Abbott family safe deposit box. And when Billy was trying to play beside his brother in the company sandbox, Jack repeatedly played the big brother card, relegating his brother to little more than minion status. Which to Jack is fair, because, after all, he is the King, so his Abbott family members should know to remain in their appropriate places as loyal lackeys or court jesters.

But, Jack aside, why is Kay so hell-bent on keeping Jabot out of the Abbott mitts, anyway? She has more money than she or her heirs will likely ever be able to spend. And is about to add to that immense amount by taking Chancellor Industries public. Given the fact that Kay has always been kind and generous to most, even to Jill, who, until recently, has been the longest, most painful thorn in her side, why has Kay taken such a stubborn stance when it comes to Jabot? I know, storyline contrivances to create conflicts. If Kay sells Jabot back to the Abbotts, there would be no reason for the Abbotts to sneak behind her back and try to buy up Chancellor shares.

And then there is Jill. Apparently grateful that Kay continues to treat her like the blood daughter she isn't, Jill wants to repay Kay for her kindness by hiring Paul to find the daughter that actually deserves that title. I know Jill thinks it's the right thing to do, but I have a bad feeling (or two) about her decision. These GC folks never seem to learn to just let those sleeping dogs keep on dozing. No, they have to poke 'em with a stick and make them wake up in a bad and snarling mood.

And since we know few good deeds go unpunished, especially in this town, finding Kay's real seed will probably turn out to be a not very good thing. For instance, what if Kay's daughter is greedy Gloria? Or Amber's mother? Or worse? And since Jill is determined to keep her good deed a secret, will Kay get an entirely wrong idea and turn on Jill, erasing all the progress they've painstakingly made?

Speaking of pain, that just about describes what I felt watching newcomers Ryder, Daisy, and their like-age counterparts. Who are these people, and why the heck should I care? (I'm right with you, fan Chunkles {below}, on that one). Ryder and Daisy obviously have some kind of connection. The way she lit into him, a man she supposedly doesn't know at all, over Abby, a girl she's only just met, seemed out of proportion. And she seems overly interested in Lauren and Amber, too.

I hate to bring up the dreaded name of Sheila, who should be nothing but bones by now (not that dead means a thing with certain incidents of rewritten history we've witnessed), but if she isn't brought forth from the grave, there are always her children, of which, if my recall is accurate, there are two we know about, and who knows how many we don't? Not to mention heretofore unmentioned and unknown siblings who might desire to continue her vendetta against Lauren. Clearly, there is a very powerful woman pulling the strings of Deacon and Ryder, and perhaps Daisy. And said woman has, for whatever reason, first targeted Daniel and Amber, and now Lauren and Michael.

The plot thickens, and hopefully as time and motives are uncovered, will become less painful and more interesting. I guess that's just the kind of optimistic gal I am.

I'm a mother, and therefore, can understand Phyllis' rage at Patty on her daughter's behalf, but I still found her annoying just the same this week. Whitewash notwithstanding, in my biased opinion, she's still as much a psycho as the currently mindless woman she went after, which made it just seem like another example of pot and kettle name-calling. Just like her manic, repeating word-monologue at Jack about Amber. Mirror, mirror on the wall, Phyllis, whose the most manipulative of all? I applaud Jack for his wordless eyebrow raising that said what many of us fans were feeling listening to her raging on and on. Just as some mother had to accept you as the undesirable daughter-in-law, when it comes to Amber as your DIL, deal with it.

What is Ashley up to? Faith's birth having made her sane, so she says, she seems to have all kinds of irons poking out of the fire. Supposedly spurning all things Victor Newman, except, it seems, his family home and his company, she's sticking her snout in Newman Enterprises matters, and preparing to gobble up as many Chancellor shares as she can afford. On top of that, it seems she plans to use the unscrupulous, unprincipled Adam in her quest, whatever that might be, which only strengthens my opinion that she remains mentally unhinged.

I guess along with all knowledge of what happens after a baby's birth, she's also forgotten all those suspicions she once had of Adam. I know at least one fan thinks I'm too hard on Ashley, but there's no way I will ever buy her as this suddenly shrewd businesswoman with all her marbles rolling around in her head, or have any real respect for anything she does, until she admits she's no recent mother and returns Faith to her rightful mother.

It's nice to see Nick once again sitting in the Big Cheese chair, but I hope he really enjoys flexing his muscles while pushing his half-brother around. Because it's only a matter of time until the Big Cat comes back and retakes his throne. Said return is scheduled for right around Christmastime, it's rumored. So I hope Nick doesn't get too chummy with former step-papa Jack, because the time away will probably give Victor plenty of hours to contemplate the most painful punishment he can come up with for his long-time enemy. It would be nice to see Adam receive a painful punishment, as well, but with all the whitewashing that's been done to other residents, I won't bother turning blue from holding my breath in anticipation of that.

That, as they say, is that. That's all this scribe is saying today. See you in two. As always, here's a small sampling of opinions randomly selected from the e-mail sack.



* * * * * * *


DL - I think Y&R blew a golden opportunity when it agreed to the return of Victor Newman. But who knows, maybe most fans are excited at the prospect of seeing Victor and Nikki get married and divorced a few more times, of Ashley going crazy again, of watching Abby compete with Adam and Victoria to see who can be as nasty as their father, and of watching Jack oppose and lose yet again to the Dark Knight. I've made this complaint before, but it seems that no matter who is writing the show, they seem clueless to the idea that you need some LIKEABLE characters. Currently we have Chance and Murphy. That's about it. We'll probably discover that Chance is a serial killer and Murphy is slowly poisoning Katherine. Once upon a time, way back in the 70's and early 80's, most of the characters were likeable but flawed. Now they are flawed (despicably so in most cases) and rarely likeable.

Joan - I have been watching Y&R for over 20 years and I love the show. However, I am appalled that the writers don't always finish storylines. Adam is getting on my last nerves and if Sharon and Nick do not find out about their baby I will stop watching. It's time Adam is found out about all the terrible things he did. Also, Ashley is getting too cocky. I'm glad Victor left her and went back to Nikki and she needs to find out Faith is not her baby.

Kit - Can't shake the feeling there is something wrong with the psychiatrist Emily. She's creepy. I just hope they don't play another 'she's as nuts as her patient' s/l. Also, if Patty is so crazy, how could she even realize what she'd done to Summer? Write a letter? Know the address? Something about this just doesn't gel. Along with the boring younger actors (Ryder, Daisy, Kevin, Daniel, Amber, Abby, Eden), you need to add Gloria and Jeff. They have outlasted their appeal. The storyline is just repeated over and over again and gets nowhere. And to make poor Michael give in to his pathetic mother yet again. Sorry but Y&R is neither young or restless any more. Just boring.

Chunkles - Look, Adam is a villain. Give the guy credit for how well he has done what was written for him. He is creepy and his acts are inexcusable but effective to the viewing audience. Eric Braeden is Y&R. Thank God he re-signed and will be back to go after the Abbotts. I wish they would have a kinder, gentler Victor for a couple months and ease him back into his vindictive ways but Billy lit a fire so watch out! One last thing. Do kids 18-25 watch soaps anymore? Who cares about Ryder, Daisy, and Jana? Kevin and Amber are keepers but the rest should take a job at the CW or something. Cut all these kids and bring in some adults that us adults can relate to. Give Michael and Lauren something to do. Bring in someone to play with Jill. Write a love triangle with Gloria and maybe Jeffrey's long lost evil brother. Have one of Murphy's trailer park buddies try and swindle him or seduce Katherine. Come on people! Why do the fans know this and the writers do not? Youth is not always the answer.

River - I find it disgusting that Y&R speaks honestly to public relations issues, i.e. ovarian cancer, etc. and blows snot in our faces by endorsing immoral behavior at every turn. This is one loyal fan who no longer watches.

Poppycock - Well, you can place me firmly in the hate of the Sham-wow pairing the village idiots are obviously writing for a Sharon and Adam hookup! This Sharon fan has had it, I only read the boards to see if there is any possibility Sharon gets this child back or at least starts putting some clues together. Instead, I read that some twisted scribe thinks we fans want to see Adam continue preying on vulnerable women, to top it all, a woman whose daughter he stole and gave to another! I have another adjective to throw out on what I think of this storyline, but I'm sure it would not be published!! Sharon has made some mistakes, none nearly as bad as most, but does she deserve to constantly be the sacrificial lamb and lose yet another daughter and the love of her life?

CB - Thanks so much for such an incredible Two Scoops Nov. 2! You have spoken for so many Sharon fans: enough is enough! It's time for this woman to find happiness! Why is it that the other women have not been punished anywhere near what Sharon has experienced? Thanks again!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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