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 Two Scoops: June 2, 2008 columns
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Eric Braeden
Beauty is only skin deep
by Nita
For the Week of June 2, 2008
Once again, Nikki is marring her pretty surface with her ugly ways.
And once again, Nikki is marring her pretty surface with her ugly ways. What part of I've got everything I ever wanted is she not satisfied with now? Has she or has she not repeatedly claimed all she wanted was to leave Victor far behind? So, now that she has done exactly that, why is she still so unhappy and filled with vengeance?

Ordinarily, I might have scooped up my pom poms in preparation of thrusting them supportively in the air for anyone having repeatedly been lashed with the rough side of Victor's rude and sarcastic tongue. But I find it hard to scare up so much as a smidgen of sympathy for Nikki in this instance. Nikki, in vindictive mode, is a condescending know-it-all. When she twists her mouth in that unbecoming half sneer, simultaneously managing to point her nostrils skyward, all I find myself wishing for is a sudden spring downpour to both rain on her self-important parade and drown her in the process. It's not as if Victor purposely set out to rob her. She's aware he only just purchased the company and surely is not witless enough to believe he purposely bought a company that copied Jabot's product for profit purposes. Before she learned Victor owned the company, it was apparently so unimportant to Jabot's legal eagles, she hadn't even been informed of the infringement situation. Had Victor not bought the company, would Nikki still insist on being the inflated figurehead at the helm of the attack or would she, rightly, simply leave the lawsuit monitoring to those paid to handle such duties? I find it absolutely hilarious that while she's bellowing and beating her gums together about how Victor's robbing her, the bum she beds down with nightly is trying his best to siphon off every red cent he can trick someone into trickling into his grubby mitts.

Heather gave me my next reason to grin. What happened to the sometimes sour-faced workaholic who it seemed might almost rather rip off her lips than allow a smile to lift them in an inviting manner? Who would have believed that the woman who somewhat prudishly proclaimed she wouldn't even break a dry crust of bread at night with someone she toiled with by day would be wrinkling up the sheets in her GCAC room with a man she'd known for the brief time it took to toss back a couple of dirty martinis? A man her boss would undoubtedly consider Enemy No. 1 and 1 half? Could this really be the moral, once impossibly high principled Heather? Or is this some Body Snatchers-like double? Having said that, however, I must admit, I find this new, freer-spirited incarnation a great improvement over the old Heather. With so many GC women's faces fixed in a perpetual pout of discontent these days, it's refreshing to see someone actually enjoying life, if only for a few moments at a time. As for Adam, it's a welcome change seeing him trade his cutting, sarcastic comments for flirtatious ones. What's also more than welcome, and growing quite rare in this town, is to have two people coupled together who probably came wailing into the world within months of one another. Not only that, but neither had a spouse or significant other they were cheating on at the time, nor do either of them have so many assets piled up that the other would be suspected of coveting them. I know it's early, but their chemistry together is unmistakable. And the fact that they likely will be battling each other from opposite sides of the courtroom, doesn't seem destined to derail their budding romance. I guess this means Adam no longer covets his brother's wife. Thank goodness!

Sigh! Another instance of getting exactly what one wished for, then immediately wishing you'd never even asked. Yes, I'm referring to Gloria's long-awaited comeuppance. How could something so longed for wind up being so unexpectedly unsatisfying when it finally arrived? At least it turned out that way for this particular fan. Gloria needs to pay, I monotonously moaned from my sofa seat on the sidelines. And the debt collector finally heeded my cries. Okay, so in actuality my mewling cries had nothing at all to do with Gloria finally being ordered to pay the demanding piper his copper coins. It was all the writers' doing. First, Gloria bequeathed the Abbott house back to an ungrateful Jack, gave half her millions away in hopes of reversing her karma, and finally, thanks to Alistair's babbling brook of a half-drunken mouth got worthless cubic z's in exchange for her once glittering diamonds. And that was all before Jill sacked her without so much as a cent in severance pay. So I should have been satisfied, right? I should have been grinning like a triumphant Cheshire cat who hurriedly gulped down the sweet cream at this downturn in Gloria's fortune, shouldn't I? So, how come my mouth is turned down instead of up?

Maybe because it all felt just a little too contrived. Or was maybe too much too soon. When it seemed like things couldn't get any worse for Gloria, along came Jeffrey still brandishing that now frayed bag with the tainted cream inside. Using it to force Gloria to agree to give up every remaining penny she hadn't already irrevocably allocated to something else. Okay, that's where one of my problems with this scenario comes in. From the moment Jeff stepped a well-shod shoe on Genoa City soil, he has been blackmailing Gloria with that tainted bag of tricks. For multiple months of a sham marriage, Jeff tried every trick listed in his little black book of dirty deeds and none of them, even coupled with his blackmail, were enough to make Gloria agree to any of his demands, nor move out of the mansion. So, it was difficult for this fan to buy that it would suddenly scare Gloria cooperative now. The one person denigrated most by the face cream debacle was Jack, and he still doesn't know. And while there was some fun in the beginning watching Jeff torment Gloria, I can't say I'm cheering very loudly for his victory. Of course, I don't think I'm the only one who didn't savor the satisfaction I always thought I would from Gloria's catastrophic collapse. Jeff doesn't look like he feels like popping any champagne corks either.

When it comes to David Chow, however, no matter how it happens, I'm betting I will love seeing his house of cards come tumbling down. I can say one thing though. He's certainly behaving exactly like I would expect an addict to. I'm surprised he's still able to keep those suck-up comments continuously coming to his beloved in that fake, oily voice of his. But like I mentioned earlier, Nikki's become so unlikable, I'm enjoying watching him make a fool of her. And he had the nerve to say Victor treated her like she had no intelligence. I can't wait to see her face when she finally learns the truth about the sad sack of a blood-sucking money grubber she married. Of course, knowing the way things work in Genoa City, David will probably come clean and throw his worthless self on Nikki's mercy, right before Paul comes to her with all he's learned from the women from David's past. And knowing Nikki, she will likely forgive all and remained in harness with the loser. If she does, then whatever she gets, she fully deserves!

Loosely speaking of men, can someone please find one for Jill? She has certainly become the most bitter of broads, hasn't she? I'm surprised she has any time to manage Chancellor business what with all the time it takes to micro manage Nikki and Jabot. These days the only good words she has to say are addressed to Brad, Cane or Jeff. Remember all the maudlin moments between Katherine and Jill during and after the Clear Springs collapse? Well, we fans might remember, but for that mother and daughter, all fond feelings have apparently been forgotten. Their constant sniping at each other is old, tired and irritating. So I just about cheered when Cane finally ripped into the two of them. I don't know why Jill even bothers to take a stand at Jabot anyway, the way Kay feels about her, she's only going to make Jill knit back together any strands she unravels. She's never once taken Jill's side against Nikki and something tells me that maybe Jill might want to wait just a bit before she assigns someone else to Gloria's office. Because Katherine will probably hire her back and make Jill look foolish and without real power yet again.

While searching for a strong man for Jill, perhaps someone should seek one out for Chloe as well. I couldn't help but laugh when she crossed Cane's path at the door to the home she's wormed her way into. She was looking longingly at him like he was a lollipop in her favorite flavor. Once she packs Lily off to New York, will she make another play for Cane? If she does, hopefully Cane will put the little elf in her place once and for all. Because it really would be a shame to destroy the sweetness of Cane and Lily, a couple I find more endearing with every encounter.

The highlight of the week was, as expected, the return of Nick Newman's memories. His portrayal of an anguished father was a home run hit clear out of the park. For those who could take it, we all relived that bittersweet moment when Cassie's monitor flatlined and Nick's sorrow and apologies to the wife he could have treated better provided at least a little closure for those fans who always wanted it, to the unfinished chapter of what went on before. I know many fans might have been hoping his rediscovered memories might lead to a reconciliation of Sharon and Nick, but that doesn't seem to be the case, at least not now.

As for what is to come, the next on previews hint at yet more trouble for Gloria. I'll be there to watch it and put my warped spin on what I saw. Until then, I hope you enjoy what your fellow fans had to say about the week's doing.

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JOANNE - Well, I guess Nick regaining his memory and apologizing to Sharon is supposed to be the closure for the last three years of stupidity. I am very disappointed the new writers are not going to put him back with Sharon. I know there are a lot of Nick/Phyllis fans out there but their coupling was the beginning of the end of Y&R for me. I see Nick is also going to remember how he fell in love with Phyllis. I guess that will also clear up any question that Summer is his daughter and there will be no hope that she is Jack's. Personally I have never liked Phyllis, but she was bearable when she was with Jack. I find her new improved character to be sickeningly saccharine and false and I am not buying that she has changed at all. On the other hand, I am very glad to see Gloria is losing everything due to her own stupidity and selfishness! At least that storyline appears to be ending with some fairness. I still wish she would get caught for the whole face cream poisoning so that Jack can regain everything he has lost because of her. Sad to say, but I do not watch the show anymore as most of the scenes with the various couples are cringe inducing and I just cannot stomach it anymore. I can honestly say I do not care about one couple or one character on the show anymore. None of the couples seem suited to each other and I really don't care what happens to any of them. I still read the boards because I can't seem to shake it completely after watching off and on for over 30 years. It is really sad to see what it has become though. Love your column and look forward to hearing what you have to say about the weekly events though!

COLLEEN - It made me feel really good to see Adam get his snotty butt ripped by Victor. But, I doubt it will do much good. The writing on Y&R is terrific and should never be compared to OLTL. The writing on that show is awful, so much child abuse, it's disgusting. When it's not putting me to sleep, that is.

GENE - Thanks for posting my thoughts about the show. I am still sticking to it even if the show is boring and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I'm glad Hogan Sheffer is coming on to write for the soap because the other head writers are just going through the motions. It doesn't seem they have a plan to fix the messes LML left. I feel Hogan has gotten a bad rep on DAYS. It wasn't his fault and I feel he can bring some excitement to the soap. I love his writing. It is character-driven and will know the history of the soap.

VIVIEN - I have to confess I am so loving the Cane/Lily relationship that any typical soap set-up to pull them apart is for me, a cardinal sin. The chemistry between the two and the genuine affection is so missing from most serials, that it absolutely should not be messed with. Sure, they need some conflict: career, family, money, mystery, but this triangle story is one this couple should escape. They have so much to explore about each other and their relationship. Please just let it grow. I'm hoping Cane tells Lily about the kiss and that Chloe gets kicked to the curb. Or at least that Cane and Lily use the experience to take the next step in their relationship. They are just so sweet together.

MARY - Great column. I really enjoy your comments every week. You have a good writing style. I just wanted to tell viewers that don't know that if you want to see Lyndsy Fonseca again, she is on Desperate Housewives, and has a juicy storyline. I hope she gets to stay; she is a better actress now than she was on Y&R.

MARY - I actually feel like Y&R is finally getting some of its old zip back and I'm enjoying the show lately. I thought the scenes where Nick got his memory back were very touching. Sharon Case and Josh Morrow are the greatest, together or not. I hate what they've done to Victoria, though. I agree she is acting ridiculous and immature toward Sabrina and I just want to slap her and say, snap out of it!

MSTSUNSHINE - "Of course, there is perhaps still one lesson from her past that didn't quite take. The one where Amber and her soft porn undermined her marriage. Inviting another woman into her home might not have been the smartest move." Thank You! I have no idea why Lily is skipping the Amber lesson. Someone told me it's because Lily trusts that Cane is crazy about her. But Cane's not the one she has to worry about. I want more Lily/Cane and for Cane to have a storyline w/ his family. Y&R is the Newman hour and it's killing me.

POPPYCOCK - You are right on the money regarding Vicky, Nikki, and the likes of the Newmans! Let them all wallow in self pity. I'm over them! However, I wish I could get over Nick and Sharon though! Those incredible, tearful moments with Sharon living the what if's at Cassie's grave, thinking of where she'd be right now, I thought I'd lose it! Then the next day, Nick remembering everything about Cassie's death and apologizing, this time for truly remembering what he did to his family. Basket case here! This is what has been missing since the LML reign of terror and the new writer's protective hand on the original Mr. & Mrs. Nick Newman is clearly evident! Thank goodness for tivo, because it's the first time in quite a few years I actually looked forward to a repeat of a story! JM & SC gave Emmy worthy performances! Welcome back Bell's Y&R!

ERIN - Love your column. I just had to comment on my favorite line in a very long time: Gloria: Where am I supposed to sleep? Michael: I figured hanging from the rafters, wrapped in your leathery wings. Too funny!

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As always, I appreciate everyone's comments! Back in a week.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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