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 Two Scoops: March 24, 2008 columns
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Judith Chapman
Short on days, but long on Gloria
by Nita
For the Week of March 24, 2008
As apparently do the lives of far too many of Genoa City's residents these days, much of the abbreviated week also orbited exclusively around Gloria and her antics.
As apparently do the lives of far too many Genoa Cityans these days, much of the abbreviated week also orbited exclusively around Gloria and her antics. Unable to co-exist peaceably beside his one-time stepmommy within the walls of his childhood home, yet unwilling to move out and let her pay a pretty penny to declare the mansion her own, Jack has concocted yet another scantily sketched together scheme designed to drive Gloria from the Abbott abode. And the vehicle he's hired to accomplish that dubious feat is a man who looks remarkably like his dearly refuses to stay departed Daddy. Okay, so we all know it really IS his departed Daddy, but for obvious reasons, we'll pretend we don't.

So, was doing away with John Abbott the right thing to do? I guess the answer depends on which fans you ask. While it's true John's passing provided fodder for future storylines, unfortunately, those consist primarily of scenarios pitting Gloria against Jack in every conceivable situation. And Gloria's kinfolk, who, amazingly enough were once deemed interesting enough to have storylines of their very own, are now treated mostly as brainless buffoons whose only use are as props to bolster Gloria's scheme of the week. Take Lauren, for instance. I'm not sure what I was supposed to feel about that poorly executed sob-fest of hers after her fake fight with Michael, but all I felt was sorrow that her character has been reduced to this. Likewise, Michael. His presence used to light up my screen; his wide repertoire of facial expressions and line delivery were always worth watching. Now all he ever gets to emote is impatient indignation.

I know John always considered Gloria his big breath of fresh air, but in my opinion that woman has managed to stink up just about everything and everyone she's brushed up against. Though I would never claim any of them were ALL her fault, there's no denying it was her litany of lies and omitted and committed sins that indirectly lead to the deaths of Tom Fisher, John Abbott, Mrs. Gibson and William Bardwell. And while it might not be murder in the literal sense, it indeed was her machinations that killed the romance between William and Jill. Not to mention what she's done to Jack in the name of what she feels is her just and proper due.

Well, I don't care how many chorus' of this crone's praises the witless ghost of John Abbott hoarsely croaks, I'm not jumping on this bimbo's bandwagon. Sure, Gloria Baldwin Fisher Abbott Bardwell Bardwell provides comedic entertainment at times, but why does she always get to be the blue ribbon winner in both love and larceny? Why are women like Jill and Heather and Kay and Maggie left to their loveless lives, yet Gloria can't wobble past a man near 60 without him tripping all over his feet to fall for her cheap charms? Speaking of that, I doubt any fan is surprised to learn Jeffrey's knees are the latest to buckle with love for his manipulative Mrs. In fact, I'm sure we'll later learn he loved her the moment she batted those big orbs at him and blackmail was his only way to bind her closer. We already know death could not dim the light of love shining from John's cloudy eyes, dishonor did not make William long to discontinue loving his cream tainting liar, so in keeping with history, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see Alistair adding his booze-soaked heart to her growing collection of obsolete lovers.

Oh well, as long as it doesn't go on so long we all get sick of it, the haunting of Gloria should be a good bit of campy fun. I don't mind seeing a more in the flesh so to speak John Abbott and so far Gloria has been more than believable in her fright. That bloodcurdling scream was just perfect!

Actually, I hope Gloria and Jeffrey do live happily ever after. They are indeed two perverted peas in a pod, and while I've somewhat enjoyed the Abbott turf tug of war, I'm ready to have it resolved so all the parties involved can turn their attention to other things. Which, considering Jack apparently started down this haunting road without checking for blind curves dead ahead, will probably happen sooner rather than later. Because it seems clear that no matter how much money he's promised the alcoholic actor, it won't be enough to keep him corralled. Not to mention Jeffrey's alleged love for his lady will likely soon have remorse burning holes of regret in his soul and we all know what's supposed to be good for a Genoa City man or woman's soul. First confession. And then a conspiracy, most likely between Jeff and Gloria. And against Jack.

But back to my question about weighing the pros against the cons of John's absence. All the Gloria stuff aside, with John painted out of the picture, Nikki was able to take over Jabot. That obviously leaves the door enough just wide open for Jill and her jealousy to sidle on through. Speaking of that, what's Jill's major malfunction anyway? Aren't her duties at Chancellor fulfilling enough? I would think learning the ropes over there would leave her no time at all to second guess every decision the woman Mommy hired to replace her makes. Not that Kay ever pays a bit of heed to anything Jill has to say anyway. When it comes to mothering, Kay clearly feels more of that emotion for Nikki and the poor little waif from Furnace Creek she's taken under her wing than she does for the girl she abandoned to any willing taker. As for Nikki, she may have little to fear from Jill, but perhaps she should have her CFO Brad look into purchasing about a dozen blade resistant blouses to wear to the office. Because as soon as Gloria finishes with Jack, she and her cohort in crime, Kevin, will probably be directing their reputation destroying efforts right at Nikki so Gloria can get her mitts on Jabot too. After all, according to Gloria (say it with me fans), John would have wanted her to have it.

It was a nice, though brief, respite from drill sergeant Chloe and her barked commands at Lily. After Cane's supple fingers administered a relaxing massage, Lily was at her self-assured best and I nearly cheered when she unhesitantly let Chloe know who was more dependent on whom. Sure, I get that Chloe allegedly has the experience to harness Lily's little red wagon to a shooting star. But it would be much easier to buy into this premise if Lily was a hungry professional model type who'd always had a burning desire to have her airbrushed likeness on the cover of every magazine cover. But I thought Faces was supposed to have more of a woman next door or down the block feel than bring to mind one of those demanding, phone throwing supermodel diva types who think food is something only other people eat. Which, unfortunately, I have a funny feeling is precisely the thought Lily might soon be having. When Chloe gets through with Lily, she's likely to be afraid to let even a sip of water moisten her mouth for fear it might leave her looking bloated.

At last, Amber's stolen money is nothing but a pile of charred ashes. Which is exactly where I've long hoped this storyline would wind up. If we're ever to buy into the belief that Amber is this multi-talented entrepreneur who can supposedly sing, write or sew her way into superstardom, it was time to put all these manipulative antics behind her. With her new BFF Katherine eating out of both of her grubby little paws, willing to bankroll whatever dream Amber's hungry little head comes up with, there's no more reason for the former Furnace Creek trailer dweller to petulantly whimper how she wants so much but has always gotten so little from cold, cruel life. Not only will her full color fashions soon be splashed onto the pages of Restless Style, GC's latest in spot to be occasionally spotted working at, she's finally landed a lover who knows just about every dirty deed she's done yet continues to want her anyway.

But what Daniel definitely doesn't want is anything to do with his adopted Daddy, apparently still lugging around an oversized grudge because Daddy was less than candid about who did what and why all those many moons ago. I didn't bother trying to summon up so much as a speck of sympathy for Daniel. After all, he obviously forgave Phyllis for her part in that long ago swept under the rug mess, and many, many messes since then, and anyway, just my opinion, but what Danny did and didn't say or do doesn't even come close to climbing to the level of all Mommy's immoral and illegal crimes. Time for Daniel to suck it up and move on.

In another father/child fairy tale, being that GC has always been a who you know kind of town, Paul paged through his little black book to see who he might call to beg a job for his disillusioned daughter. Perhaps as repayment for the many times Paul placed himself at her beck and call, Nikki was quick to oblige. Heather's eyes shone with pride in her professional proficiency while recounting Nikki's job offer to her newfound father, but I can't help but wonder if that bright gleam will turn to molten rage if she should unwittingly learn Daddy was the magician that pulled the corporate employment rabbit out of the hat for her.

The week was a little too short to allow much time for Adam to hurl many of his trademarks taunts in his sister's direction, and the one he did manage to launch fell harmlessly to the carpet and was trampled underfoot as Victoria rushed off to play dress up for Restless Style's launch party. By the way, is it just my eyes, or has Victoria's once rich tresses been bleached to the nearly identical tint of Phyllis'? Was that because Victoria's shade and style was too similar to Sabrina's? Too bad. I much preferred her near midnight locks to the somewhat faded shade that's now her crowning glory. But back to Adam. Despite Victor's warning not to underestimate his moneyed siblings, I suspect Adam will continue to do just that, getting in a sniping jab whenever he spots unprotected flesh. Victoria's already felt enough painful pricks to make her keep her eyes wide open, the better to spot any incoming sneak attacks, but Nick at the moment has his head buried deep in the Restless Style sand. But once the launch party is behind him, it shouldn't take him too long to spot the hungry longing for Phyllis in Adam's eyes.

Well, it's almost time. The invites to Restless Style's launch party have all been handed out. Big names and famous faces from one coast to the next are presumably packing their respective airlines, paying top dollar for a first class seat. In Genoa City, everyone who's anyone at all will likely be there with bells a jangling, oohing and aahing around their mouthfuls of catered munchies. Though Victor used some of his considerable weight, tossing a couple of monkey wrenches into the Restless Style works, in the end it made no difference. For despite his dire and dour predictions, champagne corks will pop and innumerable digital flashes will light up the night. Although Victor right now seems determined to boycott the festivities, Newman will have plenty of representation in the form of Victoria, Adam and Neil. From the looks of things, I hope Victor enjoys the taste and texture of scorched crow, because he just might be served a meal of it one day soon by his Restless son. I guess we will see.

So much for my opinions. Here's what you fans had to say.

BETSY - BETSY - The struggle for the Abbott Mansion has my hubby and I in stitches. The power of Gloria and Jeff, should Gloria ever open her eyes, coupled with her money, would match any plans of the moneyed Abbott/Chancellor/Newman clans. Bring on the ghost! It highlights Gloria's Achilles heel and should be fun to watch. I would like to tell Kevin to man up. Let Mom run her own schemes. I love Adam stirring the pot. He's not doing anything unexpected. In fact, I expect more before he learns not to discount his siblings whom he thinks have no merit. Victor actually tried to warn him, another lesson the young man will have to learn, not taught at any business school I've been to. Adam's storyline is still being fleshed out, but I agree he's sloughed off Hope's moral teachings. I loved the reality check Amber and Daniel got with regard to financing a new operation. Although the mag and clothes are still related to the fashion industry, it's nice to finally get away from cosmetics.

LUCIE - I think Adam is great right now. GC needs a hot young man to keep people on their toes. We thought we got that with Cane but apparently he's turned into Lily's babysitter. Adam needs to pursue Sharon and keep flirting with Phyllis! Jack would flip, Nick would get insanely jealous (over Sharon) which would cause Phyllis to get angry which would cause her to do something foolish! C'mon, write the drama, the seduction, the excitement. Y&R has turned into a soap more revolved about business ventures, money and murders than actual relationships.

TANYA - The only long drawn out storyline I'm remotely interested in is the one where they find out Gloria tainted the face cream, leaked the information to the victim's husband, that William knew what she was up to and she had him killed (didn't really happen that way, but it would make things interesting, besides, when has GCPD ever gotten anything right?) I would also like to see Dru return to slap the skin off Chloe. She is nasty and appears jealous of Lily's shape. Hope the purpose of this storyline is to address anorexia or bulimia and that they get on with it. Hate Adam, but like the emotions he's stirring up around Newman.

DEL - Whatever happened to the JiMin storyline, making everyone think perhaps David Chow did the deed? And really, we sure would like to know why the name change. Who is David Chow really? Personally, get rid of him.

MARY - Did anyone else think it strange when Daniel visited Kay that she acted as if he were a stranger? She was so close with Danny I expected her to at least ask Danny's son how he had been doing! On another note, how great was it to see the old head shot of Jerry Douglas when Sharon was looking for actors! I love that type of humor and Y&R occasionally comes through with it.

SANDY - Okay enough is enough, do these writers really expect us to swallow the John Abbott lookalike? Why did they ever kill off John in the first place? We see more of this actor than some of the characters that are alive and kicking!

LORRAINE - Does everyone hate Gloria? She is beyond annoying. Jack and Sharon need to move on and forgot her. Jack has more $$ than he knows what to do with and to keep trying to beat Gloria will just make him wind up with an ulcer or something. I think David Chow is not into gambling but something else that requires a payback. I wish we saw more of Professor Adrian. I want Dru back to stop Neil in his tracks. He is moving too fast with Karen. I think he just doesn't want to be alone and feel the pain of missing Dru. I totally agree about Adam. I too wanted to like him but he is a jerk, but I also think he might just be really grieving the loss of Hope. I don't care for Nick anymore. He comes across as so arrogant, with the no ties comment, the I don't get New York comment (I'm a native New Yorker, so forgive my sensitivity.) I think Chloe is only doing what is supposedly part of the modeling world, but I do think she has issues we are not yet privy to. Is Jill ever nice? She has such a nasty tone and attitude with everyone.

COLLEEN - Brad is the most sneaky, reprehensible snake I have ever seen. Right up there with bug-eyed Gloria. Brad, Gloria, David, Chloe, Amber. All of them disgusting!

POPPYCOCK - Oh, Nita! I had to laugh at your mention of the new juvenile Nick! I have been wondering why are they TRYING to make him appear younger, first with the wife beaters and low hanging gym pants and now with his surfer dude slang? Give me a break! Phyllis doesn't need another reason to appear like his mother! They are definitely showing their paths moving in a different direction and I hope with the help of the ambitious Adam, Phyllis takes the road away from Nick! These two are too dull and opposite to keep together. I don't know if there is something twisted inside me, but I love Jeffrey and his teasing/torment of Glo! Just don't let him really fall for the black widow! So far, still happy with these new writer's and their direction!

AMY - I was wondering how Victor could sell the house Sharon got in her divorce settlement. She was letting Nikki live there while Victoria was in a coma. Then all of a sudden J.T. and Victoria are buying it from Victor. Crazy!

JOHN - With the phone calls that Adam is getting, I think they are from a past boyfriend and that Adam is gay. This is just what Victor needs.

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As always, fans, thank for your input. See you next week!



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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