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 Two Scoops: December 3, 2007 columns
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Judith Chapman
There's a new Victor Newman in town
by Nita
For the Week of December 3, 2007
And her name is Gloria Fisher Abbott Bardwell.


And her name is Gloria Fisher Abbott Bardwell. Not since the days of Sheila ad nauseum has a character so completely annoyed this fan. Gloria's apparently foolproof ability to effortlessly yank the snarled wool over the eyes of every Genoa Citian in sight has me ready to caterwaul crazily until the men and women in the starched white coats with sedating needles hidden in their pockets burst into my living room and manhandle me away. Is there ever going to come a time when this witch will be forced to settle her account for all her dastardly, back-stabbing deeds? It certainly doesn't seem so from my seat on the couch.

It's not that I mind loving to hate a good villain, and Gloria is certainly that. But when did she get so smart and all others so stupid? I haven't forgotten this is the rather mindless woman who used to spend much of her leisure time perusing periodicals. A woman who once sprayed her … ahem … lower region with air freshener and considered herself scented. And now she's a Jabot Vice President? Oh puleeze.

But, as usual, I wandered so far from my appointed path I wound up stuck in the sticker burrs, so let me pick them off my pant leg and step back onto the road and why I'm beginning to think of Gloria as Victor Jr. Like Victor (okay, like Victor will surely return to being once Victoria awakens either by a prince's kiss or a medical miracle), Jack Abbott has become one of the only two reasons Gloria picks the crusty sleep out of her mascara-smeared eyes each morning. The second reason being ensnaring yet another Mr. Fly in her sticky black widow's spider's web. As for the first; well in Gloria's warped mind, if the sun hides itself behind a cloud, it's Jack's fault. If purple cows with green polka dots should suddenly rain down from the sky, it's because Jack caused it to be so. In fact if anything bad in all of the world should come to be, well, surely, it's all because of Jack. I'm so sick of her obsession with Jack. Yes, Jack did all he could to keep this piece of human dry rot from destroying his family, and while many fans feel he stepped way over the line in tricking Daddy into writing a will excluding the gold greedy old hag, had I been he, and my brain had thought of it, I might have done the same. But, though it appears none will ever know of it, it's not as if this conscious-less cow-ard hasn't done more than her share of name-destroying damage to the Jabot/Abbott name, yet she has the nerve to mince about the town square constantly squawking about all Jack has done to her mercenary behind.

As Charlie Brown is known to say: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

Anyway, after watching her run amok over the past week on her Jack-destroying mission, I couldn't take it anymore and felt an undeniable need to expend my ranting rage on her. The woman could be likened to one of those dreaded man eating Piranhas or that horrible flesh-devouring disease I've forgotten the name of. I've said it before, but I find myself compelled to shout it yet again from the rooftops. She's a horrible excuse for a person, with no redeeming qualities. Its bad enough she was an abusive parent, standing back with her wretched lips pressed together in a simpering smile while her husband abused her boy. But is the new, but in my book, not a bit improved woman any less abusive now than she was then? Isn't her determination to entangle that same son in each and every one of her hairbrained schemes a bit abusive in itself? Yes, I know Kevin is considered a grownup and seems perfectly willing and amendable to have a starring role in all of Mommy's dishonorable misdeeds, but what formerly abused son wouldn't likely be starved for maternal attention in whatever form he could get it?

But Jack and Kevin aside, now she's measuring Jill's oblivious head for placement on the block labeled person who tainted the face cream. If ever there was a feral feline most likely to savagely snarl and snap at the hand extending her a meaty Jabot bone, it is this disgrace to all humankind. When it comes to covering her taut little rear, no Genoa Citian man or woman is safe from annihilation. And why in the world Jill would even consider colluding with this wide-eyed wolf sheathed in expensive and respectable widow's clothing is beyond me. This is the same woman Jill knows spiked her coffee with aphrodisiacs to wrest the William prey practically from Jill's dripping jaws. What is wrong with Jill? It's not as if she needs Gloria to promote her latest Fresh Faces of Jabot campaign. Given what Gloria is planning for Jill, perhaps Jill might want to re-think that adage about keeping one's enemies closer than a bosom bud and thrust this woman far from her.

Okay, I've ranted re Gloria enough. It's time to move on.

And speaking of taking a deep breath and counting to 10, it appears Michael's disgust at and disdain for Victor has dissipated. So much so that Michael is once more Newman's legal eagle on retainer, already asking "Is this high enough. Sir?" before Victor's even finished snarling his command to jump.

As the bickering, stalemated Newmans battled it out in court over how to medically manage the body and babe within of their comatose cutie, we saw one of those "new alliances" that were predicted to be formed by the Clear Springs collapse. Brad and Nikki? Yep, it was so. And in a Perry Mason like moment, Brad swooped in, paper proof in hand of what his former love would want done with the endangered bun in her tummy oven. But, we'll never know now how the Judge would have ruled since Victoria's critical condition finally forced her parents to stop waffling and pick a square to stand on. Ready or not, the baby's coming out to greet the world. Just guessing here, but my vote goes on the one that has Mommy and baby both eventually surviving and flourishing.

While the bedside vigils continued unabated, elsewhere in the City, there is another fighting for his … Senate career. With Gloria and Kevin on a full court press to discredit him, Jack's days as a Wisconsin Senator are undoubtedly numbered. His secret ownership of Jabot, his name on the ownership papers of the collapsed Clear Springs Casino and garage, his 'suspect of interest' status in JiMin's murder, not to mention messing with Daddy's will (which since we're talking about Gloria will also probably find its way into the muddled mess), it doesn't seem as if he'll ever have a real chance to play at being Senator. It might sound callous, but who cares, the man may as well walk away from public office and go back to being a private business thorn in Nikki and Victor's side.

But, as we know, things are never that simple in GC. So as Jack's career begins to crumble, what else could possibly befall the embattled former Jabot boy? Hmmm, could the pot holding his May-December marriage be about to boil over next? And if it does, would anyone be much surprised to see that Brad is the man with a potholder in his hand?

Speaking of simpleton, I mean simple, though my hopes are waning, my fingers are still stubbornly crossed that Jeffrey isn't simple, with or without the 'ton' added to it. Is he as infatuated with Gloria as it's beginning to appear? Or is the one who winds up with the game ending Old Maid card in her hand going to be Gloria? Did he swallow, hook, line and dead fly, Gloria's attempt to smear Jill's name. Will Jill tell him more than just "I wouldn't trust her?" And when the smoke clears and the dust settles, will Jeffrey be hitting Gloria where it will sting her the most, in her bank balance?

Okay, is there any other fan out there who wants to deliver a stinging slap to Heather? Lily might be only 19 (a long lion's leap ago on Heather's calendar of living), but Heather is the one acting like a smarty-pants child. The allegedly brainy assistant DA isn't blind, deaf or dumb, and can't help but clearly see Cane is smitten with Lily, 19 or not. So what's with all those informational announcements in Lily's hearing implying a much greater connection than is actually there? I can't wait for Cane to tell her, gently of course, to go sniff at the base of some other man tree.

Oh Ammmmmmberrrr. Amber in disguise. Haven't we trod wearily down this weed-choked path before? With Sheila? What is it about Genoa Citians who go blind as well as stupid just because a familiar face is topped by some different hair? Pencil on a mole, slap a wig on your head and voila. You're unrecognizable. Well, Amber might have been wearing horse hair of a different hue, but all else about her remained the same. Am I really a fan thought so stupid that I would believe Cane wouldn't recognize the form, not to mention that nails on a chalkboard voice? I saw that Daniel, who viewed most, if not all of that very same form via internet, though presumably hasn't had the pleasure of stroking his palm down it, recognized the floozy behind the flimsy disguise right away. Even though Amber convinced Kevin, ever an easy mark for a pushy broad, to write in an unauthorized loophole to allow her into the contest, my fingers are crossed that Lily winds up the fresh face. I don't think a former internet near-porn star is the face Jill or Jabot really wants representing it.

Well, despite the current writers' strike, it seems there could still be plenty of meaty stuff ahead to suit everyone's particular taste.

For this fan, who likes some romance in her soap hour, I'm even more on board than before with a Cane-Lily link-up. I find them cute and highly entertaining and the lack of manipulation is like a real breath of fresh air (and NOT the kind of fresh air exuded by Gloria). For other possibilities, I swear I saw a tiny spark ignite between Heather and Daniel. Of course, maybe that was just me; no other fan might have seen the same. And what about another go-round between Jill and the other Bardwell? Killing two crows with one stone, it would restore what Gloria once took from her and leave the black widow alone with her millions.

Obviously, if the Nick and Phyllis connection remains strong (and I see nothing that makes me believe the tie between them is fraying in the least), if Jack and Sharon begin to crumble, who else but Brad will be there to sweep up and dispose of the pieces. But, there is the outside chance that trouble could rear its ugly and meddlesome head if Phyllis proves too supportive of ex-husband Jack. Nothing I've read or know about, but it could be a storyline possibility to add a few drops of flavoring drama to the boiling pot of sexual stew between Nick and Phyllis. And though Jack does his best to convince us he's wed to the love of his life, who else besides me, still believes the true love of Jack's life isn't blonde at all, but is currently a red haired femme fatale named Phyllis.

And lastly, there is Neil and Karen to provide a little heat and romance.

Since there is still presumably still some time life on Victoria's real life maternity leave, there is likely still a little more coma-connected angst to be wrung from this storyline. Provided the little tot is destined to survive, its time to determine Daddy. If the little lad is Brad's, it could mean problems in paradise for J.T. and Victoria. Its possible J.T. could need a shoulder to slump against, and we know how J.T., regardless of who he allegedly loves at the time, most often consoles himself. Could that land him in the arms of Colleen?

Which would, of course, open up a whole 'nother host of possible happenings. Like a connection between Adrian and Heather. Whatever happened, by the way, to the mysterious levitation of Heather's ex-roommate's souvenir? Is there an unexplored mystery in the Professor's past or is this just another scribe-abandoned storyline?

If whodunits are your thing, then you have it in 'Who really did murder JiMin?' On that, I'm not changing my adamant stance. I still point stubbornly to the square with Chow's picture on it. And if it wasn't him, my alternate choice is that it's someone we've never even met, like a man upholding the family honor and believed JiMin confession intentions were a disgrace to himself and his illustrious family.

And we mustn't forget the elder Newmans. Is there to be a divorce in their future or will they bond over Victoria's bed and find their way back to one another, leaving the Chowhound panting pathetically outside the door. Yay!

Okay, one more thing before I turn the column over to the faithful fans. The end of the year is a-creepin' ever closer. And for those fans who have perused these Two Scoops pages for awhile, you know what that means. That it will soon be time for rehashing what worked wonderfully and what fell fatally flat. The storylines that touched our hearts and those that gave us a bad case of heartburn. And, of course, everything else, mediocre or otherwise, that landed between superbly good and unbearably bad.

Anyway, just so I won't be the lone fan standing on stage tooting my little opinionated horn; please chime right in with a chorus of your personal picks for the best and the worst.

Okay, that's it. I'm preparing to quit pecking at the keyboard in reporting the past week's ups and downs and ins and outs. What follows is what you fans thought about things, reported in your own inimitable way. As always, I thank you all for your weekly comments from the bottom of my heart. The column wouldn't be near as interesting without your contributing take on things. So keep 'em coming, fans; your comments always leave me howling in stomach-hurting hysteria and I KNOW I'm not the only fan who finds it so. Thanks to for your confidence in me. I'm flattered that some of you think I could actually be a soap writer. Wow. Talk about a dream job! That would be it.

And one final thing. Thanks, too, fans, for your understanding. My schedule is absolutely crazy (probably just like many of you) but I love writing the column so I appreciate your patience with me when I'm running late. Anyway, see ya in a week!

* * * * * * *


TANYA - Okay, Nita. Here's your chance! Y&R's got enough scripts to last through December and then, they're gonna need new writers if the strike isn't resolved by then. Get in there and do what we know you can do! Put Gloria in, excuse me, UNDER the jail! Get Scamber for stealing that money from her so-called friends! Wrap up this Victoria storyline! Make Nikki comb her hair! Bring us back to the Y&R of old!

MARTINE - I have been watching Y&R since I was 12. This means I've been watching for 27 years. I have been there when they have had the no way to the ridiculous. Letting Victoria die, is by far one of the worst plots for this show. Honestly, what are the writers thinking? No Mother would ever let her child die, for a chance of a new baby that is most likely Brad's. If she has the child, legally it is Brad's! Unless the plot twists, and it's JR's, which is not to believable. Many people have said they would stop watching, and I am one of them. Nikki is acting like a stranger, not her Mother.

BEATRICE - I'm in total agreement with your assessment of Y&R at the moment. Although I am a Phyllis fan I can see why people are sick of her being onscreen. However, I don't think she's been on anymore than Jack/Sharon/Nick/Nikki/Victor, it just seems that way. Besides, I would rather see her than Amber, Jana, Gloria, and Heather any day. I disagree about Cane's blessing being thoughtless. I know he's appreciative of having Kay/Jill in his life, he proves it by the way he tells them "I love you" whenever he's with them, I don't think it had to be mentioned in front of people who could probably care less since he's basically the new guy in town. Moreover, this was his first American holiday and I doubt he was even prepared to say anything at all. He looked like a deer in headlights when Neil put the spotlight on him. And Lily/Devon's statements were funny, but not exactly as endearing either. As for Lily, given Neil's suspicions about Cane and Lily and how close they may be, I don't think him saying specifically how happy he is to be in Lily's life would have been appreciated by Neil. Just the thought of those two being more than friends doesn't sit well with the man. And besides, Lily knows Cane's grateful, he treats her with as much respect as he does his mama and grandma...Amber and Heather should be so lucky! LMAO.

VIVIEN - Nita, if it weren't for your always compelling and witty updates, I wouldn't know what was happening in Genoa City anymore. I can't remember the last time I watched a full show. When I wasn't fast forwarding through just about everything but the commercials, which were sometimes more watchable than the show itself, I found myself easily skipping entire episodes. I'm almost ready to take the show off my Tivo. But the news that a new head writer will try to breath life back into what used to be my favorite show, is enough to keep my going for awhile. The humor, business cat-fights, and yes, even morality, are distant memories right now, of a show that I used to adore. Thanks again for keeping me more entertained than the show you're writing about.

TANYA - As the mother of a preemie, I have had just about enough of this garbage they call a storyline concerning Victoria's unborn baby. All they had to do was give Victoria a steroid shot to boost the lung development when she first went into her coma, and by now, her baby would be just fine. Get on with it and deliver this baby and put these people out of their misery. I have to say, I will be disappointed if Victoria loses another baby, but the spoilers indicate that the Newman Family will suffer another tragedy. I can't imagine that tragedy being losing Victoria but stranger things have happened. Hey, maybe the tragedy was the Newmans having to muddle through this storyline!

JOANNE - I am sickened by the way the show is going as far as Gloria is concerned. Now she is implicating Jill in her crime and it looks like Will's brother Jeffrey is dumber than he was because he is falling for her lies. This is just getting too incredible to believe. If she also finds out Jack got John to change the will and she gets the Abbott mansion and money, I am definitely pulling the plug on the Y&R. There are truly no redeeming characters to root for anymore. Also, what is up with Phyllis continually wearing these tight, low cut dresses - at the hospital, in court?! She actually looked pregnant in that grey skintight number she wore for two days. If the writers want us to buy her being Miss Goody Two-Shoes now, maybe they should try dressing her a little more appropriately. The last time I looked around in my workplace - ultra tight and cleavage was not the attire worn by anyone who wanted to come across as professional. Is that the only way Nick can stay focused on her by staring at her "assets"? Please, to me it just confirms she truly is the biggest tramp on the show. Oh, and every conversation she has with Nick is "Hey babe" and "I love you" which he doesn't usually say back. She just seems way too desperate to me. I guess none of the spoilers about Summer's paternity or Nick and Sharon getting back together are true. Just another reason to stop watching.

JANICE - No reasonably intelligent "significant other" parent or grandparent would offer the life of his/her daughter, wife, girlfriend, sister, etc. for an extremely premature baby with barely a 10 percent chance of survival. I have lived the experience of birthing a 22 +/- 2 weeks fetus. Leaving a business meeting, I went into premature labor and immediately drove myself to the hospital. My OB arrived in time to deliver the baby but provided the gloomy prediction/statistics for baby. Immediately, before any family member arrived, I said "save my life." That's how much I loved my unborn child and dreaded him coming into the world with such a catastrophic outlook. He lived and has spent nearly two decades of his life battling one medical challenge after another. This would have been a more compelling storyline with a near-full-term baby on board. Incrementally, I am being convinced Nikki is not a smart woman ... business, family or otherwise. Knowing the contempt Victoria has for Brad, how dare this mother who intimates she knows her daughter, place this scum over Victoria's unborn baby. Is this the writers' intent to make Nikki look outrageously stupid? Give the viewers more credit!

THERESA - OMG! If those people at Y&R don't get Nikki into a shower stall and makeup room within the next 60 seconds I'm going to be chugging Pepto Bismol for the remainder of this sleeping beauty B.S. s/l. I'm really sick of looking at Red with very little makeup too. Perhaps the make up people are on strike too. Or perhaps this is yet another tacky way for the big shots at Y&R to cut costs. Nikki looks worse than Victoria and she's the one in a coma! I truly hope with all my cynical heart that LML is gone or severely demoted. We all know how she has run this once first class soap right down to a level it in no way deserves. I completely agree with Femmebleu's comments about Cane. Why, for the love of God and country, was he NOT at the Chancellor's for Thanksgiving? This is what REALLY gets on my nerves about these new "writers". They have no sense of history or decency. To miss a first Thanksgiving with your newly found family to hang with the family of a girl you're not even sure you like? Perhaps that's a tradition in California, but it certainly isn't with any of the families I happen to know in the Midwest and this IS a soap set in the Midwest, so when is Victor going to stop wearing t-shirts everywhere he goes? (We've been through this before) Its nearly DECEMBER in Wisconsin and I want these Y&R actors to start looking and dressing like it. Eric is certainly not the only one who is "out of uniform" for the season. And while I'm ranting, give me something to rave about and I will, writers, when are we going to get to the point of CLOSURE (a new concept for these writers, I know) about the tape Jack has on Victor? I wrote about this a long time ago. I might be missing the point, but why did Jana kill Carmen? The brief case with the info on the holy grail (Whatever) but why? What's her connection to that? What about Adrian? Where's Brad's mom? What about that sl? And worst of all, they have to get rid of a great character of Ji Min. Really missed tons of potential with that one. I liked that character because it broke up this forever annoying Victor/Jack feud. Even though Ji Min was involved in the feud, he gave it perspective and variety. I guess that's too much to ask for these days. Perhaps this strike will give the powers that be a chance to start all over FRESH with these people. Please think and write CREATIVELY for these actors and the viewers. All of us deserve better than we're getting. Thank you NITA!

ROLONDA - This baby could still not make it if they let Vicky die, the doctors are saying, she has NO time left, so that means she could die within hours, not days, if she dies, what are they going to do? They can't keep her on life support, because it's not an option, she will be die and that baby will die. The doctor is not saying Vicky has a week to live, so the baby still isn't getting the time it needs to be able to survive outside the wound. I don't get what Nikki is thinking, yes, Vicky would want her baby to be saved, but it isn't guaranteed with her death that it would be saved. Is this just another battle she feels empowered now being a independent woman to take Victor on? Is standing up to Victor, more important than saving her daughter's life? And has she even thought about the fact that baby won't live if Vicky dies in a day or so. That baby needs at least a full week for its chances to even improve, but Vicky doesn't have another week, according to the doctor, she doesn't even have a couple of days. And Brad, please, this is all about him, he doesn't nor has he ever cared about Vicky, so why is Nikki even listening or talking to him. Perhaps it's because he's on her side, and that's all that matters to her, to take up with Brad after everything he's done to Vicky and their family truly shows how low Nikki will stoop to win one over Victor. I have lost all respect, and any kind of like or admiration for Nikki, she has truly let her need to go up against Victor take over everything else in her life including her for her only daughter. I wonder how Nikki will feel, if Vicky dies and the baby dies as well, what's the point? If they save Vicky, they should be the family she claims they are, and be there and help her through the worst time in her life. They all talk about how strong Vicky is, well, if they truly believe that, they know that with the love and support of their family and time, she will heal and even Phyllis is living proof of miracle of births do happen. Nikki isn't giving Vicky a chance, she's taking away her options for a future and children some day, and I really wonder why? What's at the core, really, is it going up against Victor trying to prove how much of a real woman she thinks she is, or is it really the love of a mother here? Personally, I think it's about Victor.

TPS - Why is it that everything that goes wrong in Genoa City is Jack Abbotts fault. Honestly, can't they let the man have something without ruining it. And you know what gets me, Victor and Gloria never get touched for their misdeeds. I hear sympathy for what Victor is going through, and how he was on his high horse before, vowing to make whoever is responsible pay. Where is that outrage now that he found out that his drilling might be responsible. I'm sorry, but I can feel for the rest of the family, but Victor, I have no sympathy for him. As for Gloria, someone should do something about her, I hope that Jeff takes her to the cleaners and lets the world know she was responsible for the tainting.

JM - The whole sleeping Victoria court battle has been so stupid! First of all, I'm with the other viewers who agree that a mother would never let her own child die in this situation - too unrealistic. Then there is the ridiculous court battle only to have Nikki agreeing to save coma daughter when all is said and done. It would have saved us all a lot of boredom and the attorneys a lot of money to just have agreed on this in the first place! I'm thinking all this "time" spent on the court (2days?) has bought the baby more time to grow? Please! And Brad should never even be involved in any of this given his history with Vicky. That letter he kept in the back of the drawer, for whatever reason, and so dramatically rushed into the courtroom with was idiotic! One of the few bright spots of Y&R I find these days is the chemistry between Cane and Lily. Hopefully, this will develop into a better storyline soon. I find the Heather character a bad actress and completely annoying. And how much longer do we have to endure Ammmmber and her antics? I am also hoping that Jeffrey Bardwell is really William and will give Glo-hag all she deserves.

CAROLYN - I am finding it easier and easier as the days go by to dislike Senator Jack Abbott. Instead of Jack trying to be the best senator he can be for the good people of WI, he would rather spend his time pointing the finger at Victor for JiMin's murder! Did Jack forget that Noah is Victor's grandfather? What is he going to say to the little brat if the brat finds out that step daddy Jack is trying to put his grandpa in jail? I hope Jack loses his senate seat! So much for him Wanting to make a difference. He's the same obsessed loser he always was. Jack tries to play the victim...telling everyone that Victor told him that he (V) wishes he had stepped over Jack instead of rescuing him (J), yet leaving out that he (J) had just accused Victor of murder! I will never be a Jack Abbott fan. I guess it will be time for another visit from John Abbott soon! Is there any rumor swirling around about Gloria going to jail? I am starting to fast forward all of her scenes! I, like you thought that Jeffrey was going to bring the gold digger down, but alas, he doesn't seem to be the sharpest needle in the haystack! Both Gloria and Kevin are grating on my last nerves! I, too am tired of the Victoria coma SL! It's getting boring. Brad 'my real name is George' Carlton is also grating on my last nerves. Apologizing to a comatose Victoria about his infidelity and lies is lame! Earth to Brad...Victoria should have received that apology while she was able to respond to it, not while she lay unconscious in a hospital bed! Also, Brad asserting himself as guardian of Victoria was a bold move. Claiming that Victor wanting to save his daughter was reason enough for Brad to become guardian of Victoria was ridiculous! I hope the baby is J.T.'s! I just can't stand Brad! What's up with Heather? I think she knows that Lily likes Cane and that's why every time she sees them together, she runs right over and says things that she knows will bug Lily! Heather is acting like a jealous teenager, and it's not an attractive look on her! Lastly, I thought Amber was leaving the show! I sure wish she would! She irritates me just as much as Gloria does! Kudos to Daniel for recognizing the trollop right away in that pathetic getup she was wearing! I'm surprised Cane couldn't tell who she was. I can't wait until Jill recognizes her and gives her what for!

JENNIFER - Ok, I don't normally rant about the show, but I'm really getting peeved with this JiMin storyline. Okay, if Jack's dog's hair matched the dog hair at the crime scene, then Zapato's COULDN'T match! They are two completely different breeds of dog! I'm not a forensic investigator, but watch a little Forensic Files and they would know that! Dogs' fur is every bit as unique as our hair is. I think we all know that neither Jack nor Victor killed JiMin. It's just ridiculous to keep the storyline going. Especially since whoever it is, isn't a main character! It never is, and if it were, they would get away with it anyway! Okay, thanks for letting me rant a bit!

POPPYCOCK - Well, another week another crisis. Thus is the life of GC's finest all gathered at the hospital awaiting the decision of whether the baby lives or Victoria lives. Lines have been drawn and some stand with Victor and J.T. on delivering the baby to save Victoria's life, others on Nikki's side (with Brad of all people) to give the baby time to develop and survive outside the womb - even though this bundle of joy may not even be Brad's. In the end, they had to perform a c-section and take a 23-week baby (would that be your first clue as to who's the daddy?), both in serious condition. Do these scribes do any research or homework when writing this stuff? Didn't she have a sonogram at 20 weeks a while ago? Give me a break, so implausible, a 10 year old can figure out who's the daddy! Of course, my reprieve was shortlived by seeing the Red menace freshly out of prison donning a 'look-what-you-missed-Nick' tight fitting, low cut dress so inappropriate for the hospital. I think she must've thought she and Nick were going clubbing before they hit the hospital, because why would anyone in their right mind wear something where her 'girls' were bobbing about for all to see - oh wait, this is Phyllis, now I understand. Can't have Victoria getting all the attention. It was nice to see Sharon there supporting the Newman's (touching scene with Victor, he actually showed some heart) and Brad - who wanders the halls of the hospital like he's carrying the plague. Now I have to ask, is Cane really that stupid? I mean, don a red wig and excessive make-up and you don't know the face in front of you as your ex-wife? How 'bout that nose pointed your way, or the big toothy grin like Mr. Ed - or most telling of all - the VOICE like nails on a chalkboard?! Who writes this stuff?! My gawd ... she saunters about GC like NO ONE will recognize her - Kevin, anyone home ... hello? I think Lily had her first clue when the phone thumped down on her foot. For me, Cane just lost all cred in my book and Lily just gained a point! Ridiculous doesn't begin to describe it! Now, with the all out war against smilin' Jack, bug-eyed Glo wants to pin the face cream murder on Jill? Come on lady, you have NO ONE who can stand you and the one friend you have you're gonna cast to the wolves? She is something - Sheila was on training wheels compared to this viper. The misplaced allegiance to the villains on this show is dumbfounding!

FEMMEBLEU - Hey fellow Genoa City fans, I am so excited about the fact that Victoria's bedside vigil is finally ending but I do have a complaint about this particular storyline. Why does it seem that the writers are so insistent on forcing this sad scenario and medical tragedies in general? Did I miss something or is Y&R morphing into General Hospital, where the medical arena has always been a primary focal point of interest? Well, at any rate, Y&R or should I say Genoa City General, is definitely becoming more legal and medical focused. Yet as Nita correctly pointed out last week, the facts are as screwed and misconstrued as the laws that allowed the second Mrs. Nick Newman to prance to work in her spray painted dresses in that lame, so-called release program that certainly does not function like that anywhere else on the plant earth except in the fictional GC. Well enough about the inconsistencies that the scribes continually throw at the viewers because as Nita also recently mentioned, the newly born little baby boy Newman or should I say J.T. junior, should be a lot older than twenty-eight weeks if his actual projected due date was in the month of January. I believe since this all unfolded in late November, the unborn baby should have been a whopping seven months at the time of the medically necessary C-section and thus, should not be as tiny, since he is almost full-term. Why the writers do not think the viewers would notice such an astounding oversight, is perhaps even more unbelievable than the convoluted not to mention, redundant storyline after all, was not the mouthy eldest Newman grand-child, also a preemie as well, not to mention Lauren and Michael's adorable baby boy Fen? I guess they felt this was scintillating enough fare to serve up again and again but it still looks a lot like the same old turkey to me except not nearly as palatable the third time its been brought to the table. Well enough griping about what is wrong in GC, what about what worked last week or at least, kept us from feeling as if we were indeed watching paint dry as the viewing of Victoria in her never-ending role as Sleeping Beauty dominated the screen. I highly doubt anything astounding will come out of this whole debacle but what about the way Amber the Skankaroo found her way into yet another scam? My God, does this clown ever learn, which by the way is exactly what she looked like in her hooker of the week get-up and that wig, which appeared to have seen better days. My God, what was with that 'I am so sexy' breathy voice and the conversation with Sugar-Cane that was complete come-on and total tackiness? Did anyone really think Amber looked any different from usual or that she could actually fool a thinking person into buying the act that she is another woman? Why is this trollop still trying so hard to find fame besides, was she or was she not in possession of the stolen money that was supposedly going to be that ticket to the top of the billboard charts and the paparazzi most photographed list? Well I think everyone knows that this ditzy dame is not likely to win anything but a prize for being the most incredibly lame brain in town and not much more. What Sugar-Cane ever saw in that scandalous schemer outside of the obvious cheap charms not unlike her fellow Genoa City citizen Gluttonous Glo, is beyond anyone's stretch of imagination. I highly doubt that selfish wench could fool anyone particularly a man she was sleeping with throughout the course of that Vegas level façade of a marriage. Well let's hope that Cane will not succumb to such cheap thrills again particularly now that he's spending time with the DA and more importantly Lily, who certainly does have him standing at attention like he's a solider saluting a higher ranking officer. The guy with the constant compliment for his crush du jour is definitely smitten with the college co-ed. Contrary to another fan's comments that Cane is too mature for Lily, I think that the two hold megawatt romantic potential, and hope that Heather the Horrible does not continue to be the unwanted interruption in their sugar cane sweet interactions in the future. Is it not startlingly clear to anyone else that Cane is really just not that into Heather? After all, Heather the Horrible is making all of the moves since Sugar-Cane has not asked her out again once since their first date. I highly doubt any other self-respecting woman would continue down this path to desperation. Umm, do you think that Heather the Horrible could be just as big a block-head as another blonde in town could? Just wondering and on that note, I must dash and return to the reality eagerly awaiting me. Happy Viewing Everyone!

JUDY - ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I realize that the ridiculous Victoria storyline was primarily for the November sweeps, but come on! Today is December 3rd and she's still in a coma? How could that little pebble have caused this much trauma? Even today, the image of Victoria still looked as though she hadn't (in real life) delivered her baby. I don't know how many episodes are filmed in advance so maybe this scene was taped prior to the actress giving birth in real life. Has it been determined how the writers' strike may affect Y&R? I might suggest that Lynn Marie Latham go on permanent strike and Y&R hire our own NITA to replace her. The ratings would soar and we'd have our old Y&R back again!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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