th Can we stop kicking her? - Y&R Two Scoops Commentary
Photo Sharon Case
Can we stop kicking her?
by Nita
For the Week of February 26, 2007
Other Two Scoops for the week of February 26, 2007
Previous Week
February 19, 2007
Following Week
March 5, 2007
Watching Sharon get kicked around by every muddy boot in Genoa City is getting tiresome.

Sharon Newman hasn't always been my favorite character. Okay, so she still isn't, but enough is enough. Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm beyond tired of watching this character get kicked around by every muddy boot in town. By now she's been shot so full of holes, it's a wonder she doesn't leak when she drinks a bottle of water. I mean, must this woman serve as a punching bag for everybody? When she's not being inundated with insults from Nikki or coming in third with her own son behind Phyllis and Summer, she has to listen to Jack sing chorus after chorus of Phyllis' praises, his countenance hanging like a hound dog as he licks his chops at the memory of his last, ancient Phyllis meal. Finally, she's tossed at every male in the City for a potential chemical reaction, like Ji Min, Adrian, Jack, Brad, and Chow. Heavens to Murgetroyd, who will be next? Neil? Once Dru exits, stage left, I mean.

And yes, fans, I know the history of Sharon as well as some of you. She cheated. But so what, outside of Lily, is there any female resident who hasn't? And she ran away from home the last time her contract came up for grabs. Not to mention the times she kissed her pa-in-law and did much more with her bro-in-law. Two acts neither she nor I can effectively defend. Of course in the case of the latter, Brad deserves half the credit since he was the one who put the ball in play the day he declared his undying devotion without mentioning it had a 24-hour expiration date. But though she's committed her share of sins, surely she shouldn't have to suffer forever and should get to have a small measure of happiness like everybody else.

Once upon a time Cameron allegedly pounded Sharon's face practically to hamburger. And Nikki seems intent on picking up where he left off, except she isn't content with merely rearranging her facial features. In her quest for total destruction, her blows land both above and below the belt. Note to Nikki: Before unpursing that mouth to make a snide comment about Sharon's sporadic attendance at the school of spokes speaking, perhaps you ought to hearken back to the days you learned all your lessons undulating indelicately around a slippery pole.

Every time I see Nikki with her mouth twisted like it's stuffed with a putrid prune, I find myself recalling that threat many elders used to admonish a pouting child. If you're not careful, your face is going to freeze like that. Okay, I get that Sharon is not Nikki's favorite person. But is she really deserving of the overgenerous helping of hatred Nikki plops on her plate at every serving? The fact that she's Noah's mother, her beloved grandson, well, beloved after Summer, of course, ought to at least get her a little courtesy, however grudgingly it might be delivered. Does it really burn Nikki's buns that much that Sharon still manages to drag herself around and pretend she has a life after Nick? From all the caustic comments she's directed at Sharon for her infidelities, you would think Nikki had never ever been caught on video betraying her hubby with Jack. Or that she and Bobby never experimented with trying to see what it would feel like to climb inside and try on each other's skin. I swear that woman's tongue is so sharp, she has no need of a knife to cut her meat into bite sized morsels. It's truly a miracle she doesn't slash the inside of her mouth to slivers every time she uses it.

So Phyllis was upset because Nick went to Sharon bearing a mother-daughter statue gift. What a hypocrite she continues to be as she glories in her re-written purity and goodness. What were you thinking, she wanted to know. I'll answer her but my answer, of course, will differ from the one Nick offered. Perhaps he was thinking what he should have been thinking one year ago when all he was thinking of was what he was about to do with her. Which was not exactly the activity most husbands would choose as a way to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Okay, so I take that back. It is the way most husbands might choose. They just might choose to do it with their wives, not their mistresses.

But that's all muddy water under the bridge. Sharon and Nick are long over, they've moved on and so shall I. But minority opinion or not, given that Phyllis is joyously living Sharon's former life, minus the mother-in-law animosity, of course, she could have easily afforded to be gracious about the gift that resulted from Nick's guilt, former affection, or whatever emotion it was that blew wildly through his half-empty noggin that caused him to take that meander down memory lane in recognition of the day eleven years ago when they said I do. In reality, that gift really doesn't amount to a hill of beanstalk beans. But that's Phyllis. It's okay for Jack to adore her from afar, though they share nothing but memories, but woe be it for Nick to take a moment from his unmitigated marital joy to share a measly moment for the mother of his bio and adopted children. Like her best bud ma-in-law, it seems Phyllis isn't likely to be completely happy until Sharon has been driven from the city where she'll no longer be a sour faced reminder of the extramarital mud she wallowed in to get to the comfy spot she enjoys today. If it's true what they say that what goes around, comes around, or if there is even a sliver of justice in the world, one day our Ms. Phyllis could find herself left holding the other woman bag while some other schemer waltzes away with her man.

Of course, just my opinion, but the whole Sharon gets a gift thing was really just a roundabout way to introduce the next chapter of the video book starring Phyllis. Phyllis fans must surely be dancing ecstatically in the aisles. Let's see, just off the top of my head, we've already skimmed through Feisty Phyllis Flies to California to Fight For Her First Born; Phyllis: Torn Between Two Lovers; Phyllis And Her Belly; Phyllis' Country Wedding; Phyllis Has A Baby; Phyllis' Country Wedding; Phyllis Gets Snatched; and coming soon, Phyllis' City Wedding. Why not just go ahead and rename the damn show Everybody Loves Phyllis. Except Sharon.

Okay, call me an unfeeling little cow with a warped way of thinking, but was I the only fan whose heart was not exactly pitter pattering with excitement over the big rescue from the flames? As less than what one would call robust J.T. and Adrian huffed and puffed and dragged the smoke-succumbed victims from the freezer. Where was the swoon-inducing sight of the Colleen maiden being swept up into the arms of one or the other of her black jacketed lovers to be carried gallantly to safety? Come on, if the scribes are intent on continually borrowing from the books of past writers, the least they could do is swipe the best part of it.

Hard to swallow as well was Jana's confrontation with Kevin and Colleen who outweigh bantamweight Jana both alone and together, yet couldn't get past her, tiny taser notwithstanding. Where was all that bravado Miss Smarty Panties usually wears like a second skin? Like her papa, belligerent confrontation is normally her middle name. Yet, she was cowering in the shadows, her smart tongue uncharacteristically silent. Surely Jana couldn't have taken them both if one had charged while the other knocked her little behind down and sat on her.

But that was only one source of amusement for this fan. I know Genoa Citians are often prone to jumping to illogical conclusions, but this one definitely strained the bounds of credibility. To this motley crew of brainless boobs, it made perfect sense to them that Kevin would suddenly decide to kill Colleen. In the midst of his concern and frantic search for Jana. And once he decided Colleen had to die, he just happened to have a building all picked out, with a freezer no less, then rushed to start a fire. Then what? Did he decide to run back inside for one last taunt, trip and fall into the freezer clearing the door, of course, and thereby set himself up to roast right along with the little duckling he'd shoved inside. Oh yeah, but before he did all that, he added Colleen's license to his wallet then missed his back pants pocket and accidentally kicked it under Colleen's car in the struggle. So, when did he get the license? After he abducted her, but before they got in the car? And what was Colleen doing in the meantime? Waiting patiently? Whew! My head is beginning to hurt.

Then there was Jana and all that blood she's been saving up for months (an idea conveniently recycled from the Isabella Williams attempted murder frame up; maybe Jana read of it in one of the articles in her murders and more scrap book). All that blood and not in the least degraded, just as fresh as the day it was drawn. I guess that knowledge came from her stint as a morgue shutterbug. Do you suppose she got the container to hold all her blood from the same company that sold Diane her climate controlled Sperm Safe for Closets?

Okay, seriously, what I did find believable and enjoyable as well was Kevin and Colleen. Minus her smart and whiny mouth, she was more than tolerable and it was nice to see a sort of bonding between the two as she hovered protectively over a tasered Kevin. It was surprising to hear her declare Kevin a changed man, even if she takes it back later. I know many would never be okay with a pairing between Kevin and Colleen, given his prior attempt on her life, especially those who are already invested in Colleen and Adrian, but since I'm not one of them, I wouldn't mind seeing if this pair could possibly make a spark or two worth tending. I certainly didn't detect any between J.T. and Colleen and while I do like the Professor, I think their pairing might be more palatable if he quit being her Professor or she his student. Though I'm guessing there must be at least 10 years age difference between them, Professor K strikes me as a man old in knowledge, but relatively young in experience. With his head constantly buried in art books, I wonder if he's ever taken much time for romance and perhaps has found himself in love for the first time. That could explain all those pictures Mr. Lovesick keeps drawing of Colleen. Okay, so my idea of his love inexperience doesn't exactly jibe with the agility and ease that he fell atop and among the sheets with nasty Amber, but hey, I guess you can't make everything fit neatly in a box.

A great big thank you to whoever deserves it for finally bringing this reliquary ridiculousness to a close. The bodies were beginning to pile up and stink. Okay, I've tried to keep it all straight, but it's all a mishmash of unintelligible nonsense to me. Why did the Nazi's force Jana's great grandpapa to scratch that information on the reliquary? Were they afraid they would forget where it was without a cryptic clue to remind them later? If they knew where the treasure was, why didn't they just go and get it? How did the people who killed Brad's family know about it and where did they fit in this puzzle? Did they know Jana's family? Had they heard about it through the grapevine? Were there two sets of art seeking criminals after the reliquary? Oh forget it, there's that pain in my head again. Oh and how lucky was it that Victor and company were able to find what they sought five minutes into the tour. That Victor. Wow, whattaguy!

Not so, with Bradley, the belligerent boor. A man always ready to blame somebody else for things that are actually his own fault. It seems no amount of inherited millions will turn him into a man to admire. How nervy was it for him to berate J.T. for failing to take care of his tart-tongued miss. What should J.T. have done? Installed video cams in the Professor's digs so he could monitor their ups and downs and all arounds? Brad should have been home to watch his own wayward daughter instead of stumbling around in underground tunnels chasing after treasure and committing yet another supposed self-defensive killing. Forget Victoria being worried about being married to the best liar she knows. She ought to be more concerned about being wed to a multiple murderer. Or when, not if, Brad might wander outside the marital parameters again. I mean, it's not as if Brad doesn't have a sort of history of cheating. My memory is a little foggy on this, but wasn't he married at the time he was sweating up the sheets with Lauren? If not, we know he was definitely a married mister when he betrayed a cancer-stricken Ashley with her best bud Dr. Liv. One thing about Brad, his wife never has to look very far to figure out which woman has caught his fancy. Since he does have a tendency to keep it in the family, so to speak, or as they say, he keeps his best friends close but his next conquest even closer.

But, Brad's nasty habits or his murderous tendencies aren't what make me hold him up for the utmost ridicule. It's the fact that he delivered that cowardly sucker punch to little handcuffed Kevin marching in slow motion through the hospital corridors, which in my opinion was the absolute best moment of the week. I wore out my rewind button watching it over and over. Yes, new rule. Every fan is allowed one Wipe Clean Your Past card for the character they like the best. Kind of like the Get Out of Jail Free card you get in Monopoly. And I choose to use mine on Kevin. Hey, maybe we should just issue cards to every Genoa Citian right now and give everybody a clean slate at once. Nah, that would take all the fun out of constantly resurrecting at our convenience every bad thing every character we personally can't stand has ever done since the beginning of time.

I wonder if Brad will be as quick with his apology as he was with his fist when he learns it was Jana who tried to permanently remove Colleen from his life. Knowing Bradley, if it comes, it isn't likely to be heartfelt. Likewise Chow, do you suppose he will feel even a whisper of remorse for what he's tried to do to Dru once he learns it was Jana who cracked Carmen's skull like a hard boiled eggshell? Come to think of it, when the truth finally comes out, there ought to be a virtual line of shame-faced Genoa Citians forming at Crimson's counter to mumble so sorrys to Kevin.

But Daniel won't have to join it. Because he's what I call a true thick and thin friend and I adore him for that. From almost the day he arrived and made Kevin's acquaintance, Daniel has never turned his back on his bud. And likewise, Kevin was a friend to the end when Daniel was the social pariah accused of a crime he hadn't committed. Unlike Lily, who in one days' time went from Kevin's sympathetic supporter to a sharp-tongued harpy viciously ripping him apart and effectively doing the same thing to him that she moaned was being unfairly done to her foster brother.

Too dumb to use the brains presumably perched deep in their cracked cranium, everyone counted to three then jumped en masse to erroneous conclusions. I would expect Lily to believe the worst; after all, she has no real reason to feel any love for the man she wasted her first time on. She only tolerated him for Daniel's benefit. But shame, shame, shame, on Kevin's family except for Gloria, of course, who never wavered in her full and complete support of her baby boy, for being so quick to leap on the bandwagon right behind Kevin's enemies. But at least Michael did redeem himself by putting Jack's pompous behind in its proper place when he opened his mouth to give his unwanted two cents worth of ridicule only to practically have his words forced back down his throat when Michael reminded him who had family who cared and who did not. I like Jack, but if I had to pick between him and my precious Kevin, Jack comes in second.

Of course, racing pell mell down the wrong path is exactly what I've come to expect from Genoa City's bumbling keystone cops. Are they headless chickens running around in aimless circles or law enforcers with deductive capabilities? Kevin gets arrested because Laurel and Hardy found a wallet with convenient incriminating evidence? Has the experiences of Bardwell's disgraced predecessors taught him nothing? Or is he one of those people who prefers to earn his hard knocks from only his own mistakes? Didn't he have to take a test or two along the way to get where he is today? Or did he get his degree from Genoa City One Semester and You're a Graduate University? By the way, what is it about Kevin always winding up in unprotected police custody? First Devon gets to him, then Brad. Might be time for a lawsuit.

Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't exactly be participating in a bedside vigil in hopes of Colleen's complete recovery. Not that she needs me there; she has plenty of supporters pulling for her. But since it's Kevin's carcass on the line, I'll be on the edge of my chair waiting for her to take her first unassisted breath to declare Kevin innocence.

For the Winters family, a second chorus of shame, shame shame. Talk about a bunch of doubting Thomas's. Oh they of little, scratch that, no faith. Sure, believing Carmen or a reasonable facsimile is appearing to Dru putting on a Technicolor show or silent movie would be a bit hard to swallow, but have they all forgotten where they live? Strange things have always happened in this town and they all should know that by now. If they can buy that Chow might be behind some, if not all of the harassment, why would it be such a stretch to believe he wouldn't have hired a look-alike? Sheila, Phyllis and Amber can't be the only people to have a light bulb moment involving a disguise.

Speaking of soon to be departed Dru, I can't help but wonder if the days of the rest of the Winters family might be numbered once their matriarch shakes the dry storyline dust of GC from her fashionable high heeled boots. Who is Neil to love then? Given some of the preposterous plots we've been subjected to lately, will he suffer a midlife crisis and attempt to steal Devon's girl from him? Or does his temporary destiny lie with Sharon to whom he may turn for comfort during life after Dru. Or, if there really is a Carmen double, perhaps we will end up where much of this turmoil all began, with Neil's inappropriate interest in Carmen.

And lastly, while sort of on the subject of matrimony, so Amber and Ali, I mean Amber and Cane, are now man and wife. Hopefully, in this remake of bride drugs her groom (the original featured Brad as the drugged groom and Cassandra Rawlins and the determined to be an almost blushing bride), this bride isn't about to meet her maker by way of an out of control bus. Just goes to show you that in Amber's case, no matter how fast and how far a gold digger gallops, they just can't outrun their trashy past. I am still laughing uncontrollably at Amber and Ali's Blondes Gone Wild dance routine (if I may stretch the meaning of that word so broadly). Which was very bad. I hope they never have to dance for tips. Of course, by watching them, Cane has proven he is a very good actor. Because not only didn't he tumble from his seat laughing like a hysterical hyena, he even managed to appear interested. Of course, he was even more interested when Amber showed him what his marriage license had paid for. Another body I'd kill to have. Okay, so maybe I wouldn't kill, just maim a little bit. In the meantime, treadmill and hand weights, here I come!

Anyway, it would seem Amber has the winning hand right now. But I can't help but wonder if the player will wind up getting played. Because the problem with bringing a co-conspirator aboard to help you obtain your despicable desires is that they might one day roll back into your life like a bad penny, determined to claim a share of your considerable prize. When Ali reads (okay, so she might not do that very often) or hears of the new Mrs. Chancellor's good fortune, don't you think she'll be coming by with her hand out for her share of the loot in exchange for not digging up all Ambers dirt and showing the whole bag of it to Cane and the Chancellors? Speaking of the Chancellor guards, Kay and Jill's reaction to the impromptu wedding should be quite interesting. I'm looking forward to it.

Okay, time for me to shut up and step aside so everyone can read what you all have to say. See ya next week!

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MARY R - Well the Y&R scribes have done it again. I am home because of a state holiday for President day. But, I probably won't watch Y&R today. I do not have the stomach to watch Jana devolve into an evil psychopath. After having her be almost like family to the Baldwins, they are turning around and making her a monster almost on the level of Hannibal of Silence of the Lambs. While her character seem a little mechanic and devoid of feelings. None of the signs pointed to this kind of behavior. She really was pretty clever in hiding who she was. But, it is still in my book a 100% turn around. The Y&R scribes must think they can not keep their viewers entertained unless they have at least two residents psychos wreaking havoc on everyone's life. And GMAB this thing about the Nazis and reliquary. World War II ended around the time I was born which would make Rebecca in her eighties or nineties and she doesn't look that old. I guess they exhume the Nazi storyline because they are ancient and they are safe to demonize. However, it is a very long stretch. The characters I like right now are Katherine and Jill. I used to like Victor but he is not that much front and center as he used to be. Jack while infuriating is interesting. Dru is interesting but she is leaving. I think they got rid of Ashley character because she was too sane. I am not sure that the above characters are interesting enough to keep me taping. But, I am definitely not watching today. This thing with Jana is too bizarre and barbaric.

KT - This show is horrible! The new writers are horrible - bring back some of the old writers who actually knew something about character development - please! These new writers have turned the Young & The Restless into the Michelle Stafford show. While I'm not saying she's not a good actress, she's just overrated. This show is full of talented actors, so why does even a quintessential "Lauren" s/l turn into the "Save Phyllis and Summer" story?! Utterly ridiculous and an insult to the other talented, long-standing veteran actors on the show. In my opinion, having Sheila come back as Phyllis - was such an obvious and pathetic excuse to give MS yet another meaty role - when anyone who knows this show could see her version of Sheila was laughable against Kimberlin Brown's original portrayal. Not even close! If Lynn Marie Latham loves Phyllis so much, let her write a separate show for her - but stop messing around with this show and using it as an acting platform for MS!! This show was #1 long before LML showed up and since she's taken the helm, the show has gone to hell in every which way. Perhaps TPTB should remember the long-time viewers and what kept them tuning in every day hint: it wasn't tawdry cheap sex scenes with no character and story development! Writers, please stop pandering to those who just want to see trash - that's what the primetime shows are for! As for Sharon's character - no where is it more obvious how much LML caters to MS than in how Sharon's character has been unjustly treated over the past year. Well let me say for the record, IMO - there are as many, if not more, of us who love this character and believe me, after you ran off John Abbot, Ashley Abbott and now Drucilla, if you let Sharon go, you're going to lose a whole heap of viewers. This show is hanging by a thread so the writers better wake up and stop alienating all the viewers that have made this show #1.

TANIKA - I LOVE SHARON...I haven't watched Y&R in a few months, but things seem to be about the same. Nick and Phyllis still make a strange looking couple to me and Sharon and Jack are even odder. I can't wait to see how Nick and Sharon reunite. It's coming. Brad still wants Sharon and Victoria still knows it. All this other stuff is barely interesting. Thought the Sheila/Phyllis storyline was stupid. Couldn't Sheila be Lauren or someone else.

ANNE D - what really bothers me about Jana's confession that she killed Carmen is: what about the tape from the Newman coffee room that was proved to have tied up the body? How did she get it? Why did she get it from there? Also, the reason for killing Carmen was pretty flimsy, Jana could have talked her way out of having that book of pix. Come on, scriptwriters, tighten it up a bit, make those lose ends believable please.

RONNEA - Hi Emily. I wanted to say that yes there could be a way for Sheila to still be alive. It wasn't the real Sheila that was shot. Remember, she got the warden (Sugar) from the women's prison to take her place behind bars until she figured out that Sheila was never coming back for her. Is it that far fetched that she could not have done the same switch again? After all, they claim she murdered the doctor that changed her face to look like Phyllis (he also changed Sugar's face to look like hers) but left his nurse alive. Now, we all know that Sheila is as detailed as they come. Which why she is always able to escape police capture. Also, when it come to loving and taking care of children, she is very good at that. I found it very hard to believe that she would yell at the babies to shut up so she could think. That is when I seriously considered that possibility that Sheila was not Sheila at that moment. The storyline was very lame. If only they had used KB's voice during the moments when Paul or Lauren were talking to her the storyline would have been wonderful. I'm just waiting for her to pop up on LA to terrorize Ashley in the lab.

SILVIA - Hi! Just discovered your column - thank God! Maybe you can clear up a few things for me. I thought the Bell Family owned and operated the Y&R. So why were the two best writers in all Soap history (Kay Alden and Jack Smith bounced? Why was Latham made head writer AND executive producer, and allowed to completely ruin stories, characters and GC families. Since the new writers took over the Abbott family has been demolished, Brad Carlton has become someone he never was, with a background story that is as unbelievable as it is boring, and new characters that we didn't know six months ago are getting front burner stories. Amber? Korbel? David boring-Chow? Carmen? How can the scenes of the bickering Abbotts around the breakfast table be replaced by 40 minutes of Amber and Cane at the bar? Ashley is gone and missed and we're supposed to forget about her because we have Amber? AMBER?! My God, this show has deteriorated. Don't the Bells care? Well, I sure do; and I won't be watching much longer if things don`t improve soon. Get rid of Rebecca; throw Brad back in the sack with Sharon; let Phyllis be Sheila - maybe Nick and Phyllis could be sexy again; and Please let Colleen and Korbel elope and move to Europe. Forever. Thanks for letting me vent.

JM - I'm not sure which was more laughable, the Brad/Vic/Victoria trio actually taking a tour along with regular civilians or playing Raiders of the Lost Arc after hours in the secret tunnels. And do the Newman's actually need any more buried treasure? I say give it to the German and be done with it. The Reliquery (hope I never have to hear that word again) nightmare has gone on long enough. As for Dru, someone please make her stop the dramatics! It's too painful to watch and listen to everyday, especially coming from a talented actress. As for the Aussie hottie Cane (or Keeen, as Amber voices in her annoying whine), I say let this guy bloom into a great storyline--he's so easy on the eyes. And finally, is it really believable that Kevin would lock himself in the freezer accidentally and try to burn himself up in the fire - give me a break!

ELLEN - PLEASE do not tell me we are going to revisit the "Cassie is in a coma and can't tell anyone Daniel wasn't driving" scenario with Kevin and Colleen. If I have to watch the Keystone cops again I may just scream. We are FINALLY wrapping up the storyline of Carmen's murder where we watched Bardwell jump all over the wrong person (Devon)and now I am going to have to watch an identical repeat of the storyline with Kevin? Let's move on people, repeating storylines are a guaranteed snoozefest. I refuse to watch Kevin spend day after day in prison, probably getting beat up again, while Michael argues with Bardwell about how innocent his client is AGAIN. If this storyline doesn't get wrapped up quickly the FF button will be in constant use. I also wanted to comment on the fact that I am taken aback by some of the comments about Gloria. Love her or hate her I don't like to see people commenting on her "bug-eyes" because now you are not making comments about the character you are making comments about the actress' looks which, frankly, i think is a bit mean-spirited. In any event, I, for one, am looking forward to moving on to some new storylines - lets bring back love, romance & betrayal! What is coming up for Nick and Phyllis? What about Sharon and David Chow? What will happen between Adrian, J.T. and Colleen? These are the storylines I would dearly love to see developed!

IRENE - Here we go again. Kevin getting the short end of the sick and the assumptions as usual are going nuts. I hope you clear this fiasco up and soon. It's time to put this and the art storyline to bed. Too bad it was Jana, I liked her and Kevin together. Oh well, I would like to see the writers come up with a juicy whodunit murder storyline, with perhaps a serial killer, but please let it be someone new on the screen and not our old favorites. It's been months since John's passing and no one has really looked into that will situation yet. We all know Gloria can be a bitch, but she should get her inheritance. She did love John. I hope and pray no one resurrects Sheila ever again, because that would be a travesty all the way round. Please give Colleen a brain and perhaps put her with Kevin and let the world know how Kevin saved her life. As for Amber, she is up to her old tricks again only now it is with Cane. Can't anyone give this girl a real life? She beds every new character that comes on board, both in Y&R and B&B. Time for her to either go, or get a life of her own. I'm sick of watching her. We all know why the fake wedding. Money, money, money, and her knowledge about who Cane really is. Thanks for letting me vent again, I hope I don't have to nap again, but looks like I might have to.

NERO - "Mr. and Mrs. Amber Nicole Beastmaster"? No thanks. "The Treasure of Kutna Horror"? Cool sets but I'll pass. This week, I was all about "The Fridge, The Fridge, The Fridge Is On Fire!", a.k.a "The Redemption of Kevin Fisher, Act One". Okay, what's with the CGI smoke? Can't they help these kids out? How about burning some incense or lighting an herbal cigarette to add some realistic smoky ambience? Heck, scorch a freakin' grilled cheese sammich ... anything! (Also, are we supposed to believe that Colleen was more susceptible to the smoke because of her previous "burning fridge" experience? Does that mean that her whispery voice hasn't been so much a bad acting choice as continuity?) As for Kevin's moral rebirth, could they be playing this any more heavy-handed? The other characters have done everything except hiss and spit whenever Kevin's name is mentioned. The only way that they could have tried to make him look more sympathetic would have been to have Goy Beorge (a 3x killer himself) sucker punch the much smaller and handcuffed Kevin while the kid was sitting in a wheelchair ... in a coma ... with a puppy. I can't say whether Kevie deserves redemption. I do know that all of this has given him the opportunity to do what he does best … suffer. No one suffers as well as Kevin: he was born to be tortured. Whatever happens, I hope that the writers and the actor continue working together to bring this marvelously constructed and complex character all the pain and agony that he and we, both his fans and detractors, deserve. If the rumors are true, fixing him up with Colleen ought to do the trick. Love your column!

WANDA - OH Amber, you have proved yourself to be the lowlife you really are. Had to get some of that Chancellor cash didn't ya? Hope you are found real quick chicky. Kevin was convincing as a person not wanting to be locked in a small space - he wasn't too over the top with his performance. I was glad to see Colleen take up for Kevin just before Jana locked them in. If she lives, maybe there's hope for her yet. I think they could be good for each other - they both have insecurities and can help each other heal. I guess now Devon can get on with his life and get some drama going with his new girl interest. At least they haven't killed Dru so maybe she'll want to come back home someday. Hey, they could start a primetime drama - The Dru and Malcolm Show. Or not. I'm looking forward to some new storylines Y & R writers. Bring it on. I'm ready.

MARNIE - Hi Nita. I think I am confused. When Brad found the bug in his house, didn't someone call Korbel and tell him that he couldn't hear anything anymore. And then Korbel called Colleen to "see how she was doing". She was at the loft. Am I wrong? Also, wouldn't Kevin have a mark on his chest from being Tasared? Was Jana with her Dad? And lastly, what part of "one visitor at a time" is hard to understand? No one seems to listen to the hospital staff. I bet that Kevin and Colleen hook up!

EVE - First off, I want to know how GC got a Star Trek teleporter - how else is everyone getting from A to B in zero time? Brad & the other Indy Jones wannabes are back in a flash; Jill flies to Vegas in 2 minutes; Jana vanishes in a puff of smoke. And how long, O Lord, how long must we watch everyone slobber all over Colleen lying in that hospital bed, pleading with her not to die? Other than the fact that if she does, Kevin will rot in jail forever (which I'm no longer willing to have happen - I've grown to like his psycho self), I don't care if Colleen NEVER wakes up. They have turned Colleen from the last believable virgin on TV to a big-mouth whiny slut that gives Amber a run for her money - and that's no compliment. And what a waste that was. As I said in a post before, I kind of miss the Days when not EVERY woman on the show was a slut. I hear through the grapevine that the writers, once again out of juice, are going to make the Carmen Mesta killing (and Dru's haunting) revolve around identical twins. That's cheating, folks. And lazy writing. But when was the last time Ms. Latham cracked a sweat? So far all she's done is rip off the DaVinci Code, old Y&R scripts (Sheila, Jack/Victor) and have everyone play musical beds. Let me give you a hint: no romance, no pay-off, no soap opera.

JOANNE - Well, well, well, I guess the shoe on the other foot hurts too much doesn't it! Poooor widdle Phyllis! Nick went behind her back and bought his ex-wife a present. Calling the gift store where Nick bought the gift was pure Phyllis. Nothing like trusting your perfect man! Nick should have laced into her for being so sneaky and going behind his back. And then Michael and Lauren having to say sorry for not telling Phyllis Sheila was in town! The writers are making her more saintly and holier than thou than any other character on the show, including the great Victor Newman! Okay, so some people will say Nick was inappropriate to purchase a gift for Sharon but the thought was nice (too little too late mind you - that would have been something he should have done right after Cassie died - say on his tenth anniversary instead of sleeping with St. Phyllis! The comment she made sounded so immature, "I'm a mom, I have a little girl!" Give me a break. She stole the woman's husband right after her daughter is killed because of her attraction to her stupid son and she cannot spare an ounce of compassion for Sharon? Please. Glad the who-shot-Carmen question is answered but frustrated to see yet another innocent person will be blamed for her death. Of course, Kevin has done terrible things but how many times can they arrest the wrong person for the wrong thing? Can't they get more creative than that? The Amber/Cane story is nauseating. I have to say I it is a very close tie between Phyllis and Amber as to which character I detest the most. It was very difficult to watch - must admit - I found something else to do during their scenes. Sticking this inane storyline in between the other was idiotic as well. Hopefully Colleen (even though I can't stand her) will wake up soon and absolve Kevin of the guilty charge so that the truth can finally be out. Enough already! Anyway, Februarywas fast paced but still very disappointing in many respects and I am finding I am reading the spoilers and the recaps for the days much more than I am watching the show. Hopefully things will turn around soon. That's my rant for the week - I feel much better now!

DEBORAH - I would just like to say I have watched Y&R for over 20 years. I would like to say first off what's been up with Dru's hair for the past month? Did they cut back on hair dressers or what? And I cannot stand Amber. Get her boring ass off the show and her phone. I hope Cane finds out real soon her game. Now for Colleen. I truly can't stand her and doesn't she have anything to wear besides a black coat? Adrian and Colleen's storylines make me want to ff the show every time. I'm really getting disappointed in the show. Brad & Victoria cannot act together; they're such an unbelievable couple. They need some acting classes from Jack & Phyllis, now that was a great couple with chemistry or Lauren & Michael. That's true acting. I truly enjoy watching them. Daniel and Lily - don't they have sex ever? They are the youngest married couple on the show but they never have sex or even act like a real couple. Jeez.

TREY - Hey Nita, as always terrific column! I had to write in and give my personal take on the storylines that we have been subjected to these past few months. All in all, the whole art storyline and Carmen's murder served one very good purpose; bringing all the citizens of Genoa City together. If these storylines were meant to weave together all these fine actors for some outstanding scenes, then it did achieve that. The stories themselves were complete fluff. But the ripple effect of Jana's betrayal and Carmen's murder has made for some very fine television. So were these 2 particular storylines enjoyable, heck no! But, I think the interactions that the situations provide are very interesting. Friday, When Devon confronted Michael, when Jack confronted Michael, when Gloria was defending her son, when Brad punched Kevin! This was all terrific stuff and I could literally feel the tension reverberating through my TV screen. I also loved the exchange between Nick and Sharon. When he gave her the present for what would have been their 11th wedding anniversary, I cried! And when tears flowed from Sharon's eyes, I felt her pain and remembered how phenomenal these two were together. Phyllis finding out and getting jealous was soo good! I couldn't help but smile as we watched the disappointment melt over her smug face when she found out the present was for Sharon and not her. That's what she gets for snooping around, oh and taking another woman's husband! I am more and more not liking these two together as they increasingly look more odd to me. I'm ready for their faux love affair to be over! Also have to say that I loved Amber's whole stunt! Although I'm sure many of us have seen something like this before, I thought it was refreshing to see an actual "soap situation." The classic drugging of the groom and faking him into marriage, loved it! My mouth is literally watering at the juicy scenes we will undoubtedly be treated to when Amber and Jill clash over Cane! I can't wait! So all in all, the storylines involving the art and Sheila and Carmen's murder were extremely anticlimactic and a big let down, but the effects these stories will have on the GC residents for months to come should be absolutely wonderful! By the way, who thinks Colleen and Kevin are our next super couple! Which might be really interesting to watch unfold!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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