Photo Michelle Stafford
Crying in my soap
by Nita
For the Week of February 5, 2007
Other Two Scoops for the week of February 5, 2007
Previous Week
January 29, 2007
Following Week
February 12, 2007
Unfortunately, it wasn't in response to some sad and mournful situation playing out on-screen.

Today while watching my only soap, I almost shed a tiny tear. Unfortunately, it wasn't in response to some sad and mournful situation playing out before me on my little TV screen. No, my eyes were welling up in sorrow at what my show has become. I do agree with you, fan Trish, there have always been hills and valleys when it comes to storylines. Some you like; others you don't. And yes, that orchid story was definitely one that was almost universally hated and never climbed much higher than the bottom of the barrel. Not to mention the Cameron Kirsten comedy. I thought those two would never come to a mind-numbing close.

So when it comes to the current crop of near senseless storylines, I know that they too shall pass. Eventually. And it can't happen soon enough for this fan and for the many others who have kindly shared their views. If those who are dissatisfied and disillusioned with the show are lucky, many of us will be relieved of our misery when February ends and March begins. And, Trish, while I too have appreciated some of the occasional humorous remarks tossed into the conversational mix by GC's characters, what I miss most at the moment is the drama, the suspense, the oh-my-I-can't-wait-to-see-what's-going-to-happen-next sensation that used to accompany my soap watching.

Anyway, until the portions on my plate are scraped off and replaced with something somewhat more suited to my individual taste, what you saw is all we have, so let me get busy poking my fork at my servings.

Under the category I call, "what the hell," I noted the following oddities. Yes, Michael answered in response to Neil's question as to whether he'd like a cup of hot, bracing java. Yet, only seconds later, and before said hot cup had so much as burned his pampered palm, he was shrugging into his overcoat, preparing to head for the door.

Moment number two, Brad to Victor and other assembled company: I've got security watching Ash 24/7. Uhh, so what was with all the near panic, and he repeatedly dialed her number? Why didn't he simply call his round-the-clock security team and ask them where the heck Ashley was? And wasn't the sour look on Nikki's face (yes, though it was hard to tell, it really was slightly different than the sour look that's usually on her face) at all the concern for Ashley's whereabouts a hoot? Her face said she couldn't care less that Ash couldn't currently be found and in fact would probably do a jig of joy (if she can remember back that far to a time when she felt such an emotion) if she went missing forever. But alas, Ashley will soon be as close as the B&B set just down the way.

In the "Don't get many visitors, do you?" category was Phyllis (as Sheila) duck-taping Phyllis (as herself) to a chair in the living room (in plain sight of the front door). Good thing Noah didn't dash in for a quick visit with Summer. I guess it was Phyllis' (as Sheila) extrasensory perception that told her both Nick and the elder Newmans would be away just long enough for her to whisk her captives to another location.

Okay, on to the show. Har-de-har-har. Yes, that continues to be my scoffing response to the Sheila Shenanigans. To keep down any confusion, I will grudgingly refer to her as Sheila although I still see this silly storyline as Phyllis vs. Phyllis. Anyway, only hours before, Sheila was sweating profusely, her wound festering with infection. But for Sheila the wonder dog, I mean woman, that wooden stake might as well have been a splinter for the little it slowed her down.

I could understand her knocking Paul senseless (although he deserved it for not making sure Sheila was gone before he rushed to the cage). And no, I don't buy that it was due to his utter shock at seeing Maggie in the cell. He knew the woman he was dealing with. But the injured Sheila choking Maggie into unconsciousness? Dragging Paul's dead weight body into the cell. Oh, puleeze. All that exertion and not only didn't she restart the bleeding; she didn't even so much as break out into a sweat. Heck, people are weaker than her after a bad bout with the flu, let alone after they've gutted themselves with a pointed stick.

By the way, once she recovers, Maggie ought to be fired. I was there right with you, fan Emily. What kind of a cop responds like Maggie did? Isn't distrust and instant suspicion character requirements for cops? Don't they normally pepper you with questions first and take action much later? Once they've made certain you're harmless? Besides, didn't Maggie track Paul to that location? To his alleged stake-out? So, shouldn't she have thought faster and reacted slower?

Maybe in the future she ought to stick to simply detecting and leave the physical cops and robber stuff to her more capable (and considerably burlier) fellow badge wearers. Despite all of that, however, I still hope she recovers. Though I had plenty of wordy fun at her expense in the beginning, given the other substandard storyline fare I feel like I've been unfairly subjected to lately, Maggie's begun to grow on me, and I was actually enjoying her little romance with Paul.

But, back to Sheila. Believe it or not, I also rather enjoyed Friday's show. Especially the part where one of the Phyllis-ses was trussed and gagged. The one I like the least. How eloquently the good Phyllis spoke with just her eyes. As for the bad Phyllis, she was way too giddy. Lauren should have been alarmed the second she heard Phyllis' overly gay voice on the phone. She sounded like coffee was the last beverage she should be thinking of consuming. What she needed was a sedative.

By the way, I guess the neighbor at the retirement home either doesn't have a TV or coincidentally wasn't watching it or listening to the radio when the Amber Alert was broadcast. The one person in the city who saw kidnapped Phyllis' face and both the kidnapped babies. Just a little something to make you go, "um hmmm, yeah, right." After listening to Lauren, it sure sounds like it could come to a showdown between Lauren and the Phyllis-ses. Oh my, which Phyllis could be which? Why the one with the hole in her gut, that's who!

By the way, fan Jane wonders where the real Phyllis went. The feisty one with sass and a dark, spotty past. Okay, the dark, spotty past part was my contribution, not Jane's. Well, Jane, awhile back, I think they captured her, covered her in one of those cocooned pods from The Body Snatchers and have since replaced her with a woman who appears to have never had butter melt in her mouth. (I always wondered what the heck that saying meant. I mean, to me, the only way butter won't melt is when it's cold, so what does that have to do with people saying, "she acts like butter won't melt in her mouth?")

Anyway, it was either the Body Snatchers bit or Phyllis mistakenly wandered onto the set of The Stepford Wives instead of Y&R one day. And by the time she realized her mistake, it was too late. Her brain had already been rewired. So they simply sent her back to the Ponderosa, I mean the Newman compound, and there she's been acting mechanically and perfectly ever since.

Okay, on to something else. Like the Mess-ta (like that name, fan Cassandra) mishmash. Gee, I see it's time to go to the closet and get another glow in the dark halo from my never-ending supply. This one for Carmen. Who, according to her still smitten ex-lover/fiancé, is a saint, or at least an angel just waiting for someone to give her some wings to go with her halo. What is it about this town that turns former town pariahs into pristine examples of perfect womanhood, worshipped and revered by all? Tawdry Gloria was repainted in shades of flattering pastels, as was Phyllis the former feline. Now, it's apparently Carmen's turn (or her ghost's) to enter the whitewash booth for refurbishing.

Poor, poor, misunderstood, unjustly maligned, mistakenly murdered Carmen, says Chow. The truth is, his marriage didn't end because he embarked upon a clandestine affair with Carmen. It was already over! Wow, what a surprise. Just like the one inhabited by Nick and Sharon when Phyllis pointed the cap atop her carroty curls in Nick's direction and repeatedly propositioned him. Oops, how did I go there? Picture me giggling while hauling myself back, hand over hand.

Anyway, who knew Miss Mesta was a lover of small children and probably their pets, as well, and was practically supporting her parents on her astronomical income? I guess the cash she planned to extort from Newman Enterprises was actually earmarked for her poor, destitute parents, who Chow would probably have us believe would likely be perched on the very verge of starvation if not for their dear Carmen's generosity. And who knew, too, that Carmen was nothing more than a supportive, sweet friend to all and sundry?

Yes, David, I agree, she was behaving very sweetly and presumably was quite supportive of Jack's weight on the break room table or floor. Yeah, that was nasty, but so was she to do it there, a place where many Newman employees are believed to spend more time than behind the desks in their offices. And she was equally supportive of Jack at least one other time.

Of course, sweet and supportive aren't exactly the words I would have chosen to describe the ruthless and determined way she used her PR power to keep the wife of the man she'd chosen to succeed Jack in her bed (or a break room table) out of the country to give herself more time to entice the woman's mate. Now, did Carmen deserve to die for her not a bit innocent flirtation with a then at least half willing Neil? Of course not. But apparently someone thought she did. It just wasn't Dru.

Which brings me to the main reason I'm so disillusioned with this Mesta mess. Too darn many coincidences. I've said it before, but I'll partly repeat myself for those who missed it. Just who is this person stalking Dru and what kind of superhuman powers do they possess? They might not be able to leap the tallest GC building in a single bound, but they surely must have the power of invisibility. How else to explain how they can come and go in and out of Dru's personal spaces with no one being the wiser?

Her PDA, credit card, access to her computer as well as full and complete knowledge of exactly what she's working on and for whom. They obviously know exactly where she is or will be 24/7. How else to explain how "Carmen" can manage to show up at the precise moment everyone but Dru is looking the other way? And apparently being a whiz with technology is also on their list of accomplishments, because they can call her up as Carmen and have a recorded voice ready at the exact moment she hands the phone off to Neil.

So who could be behind Dru's continued troubles? Not Chow, who is probably guilty of little more than being blind to how much of a sneaky snake Carmen really was. Okay, so he was the one who leaked the videotape, though how he got his mitts on it is likely a loose end that will never be neatly knotted. But he seems to really believe Dru murdered Carmen. I find it hard to buy that he's in cahoots with someone to either drive Dru insane, or to confess her alleged crime to the authorities. But if it's not Chow, who else could it be and how could they know so much about Dru?

We saw for ourselves Carmen lying lifeless as a plastic mannequin. Did she take some near death drug and "came to" on the morgue slab where she'd previously made a deal with the devil through the medical examiner in an intricate plot to pay Dru back for daring to stand up and fight back against the woman who tried her best to bounce her from her own marriage? Could it be Chow's bitter and vindictive ex-wife? But why on earth would she have it in for Dru? Why not try to pin the donkey's tail on her ex? He's the one that kicked her behind to the concrete curb.

Now that we all know Victoria Rowell's decided to leap from a GC ship that might not be sinking, but at the moment is definitely listing dangerously, I hope the payoff for all these months is not going to be that Dru really did do it and blocked it out. Well, if that's the way they're going to suddenly write it, it better not be like that dream Dru had. Because many of us don't miss an episode of CSI, and there's no way Dru could have gotten so up close and personal with Carmen and not have left fibers, hair, DNA, sweat, saliva, and everything else it was possible to leave behind when committing murder. Of course, after all the improbable coincidences I've witnessed since this case began, like the people around Dru are probably beginning to wonder, I'm starting to think I'm losing my marbles too!

Okay, I have to say it. Yes, I'm about to comment on Dru's hat, chosen especially for the GC kangaroo courtroom proceedings. I swear every time she turned her head, I found myself instinctively ducking, afraid I might be mortally wounded, impaled by that lethal looking feather. Just kidding. I like Dru's penchant for unusual headgear, but that feather was hilarious.

Equally hilarious was Carmen Mesta's mother. Was I really the only fan darn near rolling on the floor with helpless hilarity during her brief conversation with the Winterses? "Oh, Devon," she says something like, "what a nice young man you are" (this to the nice young man charged with murdering her daughter). "Carmen spoke so highly of you." Uhh, like when? And why would she? After the first couple of meetings, it wasn't as if Devon was the very picture of politeness to the woman.

Can't you just hear Carmen's cell phone conversation with Mommy? "Mama," she probably gushed with great and exuberant excitement. "The married man I'm chasing has a foster son that's oh so wonderful. And he delivers the mail so nicely too." But it got even funnier when Mommy Mesta said to Dru something along the lines of: "Carmen did not speak so highly of you."

Well, pardon me for going there, but duhhhhh-uhhhh-uhhhh! I guess she wouldn't have nothin' nice to say about the woman she wanted out of the way. Wonder what she had to say about Neil. Thankfully, the insanity ended there. I also wonder what Mommy thought about Carmen messing around with married Chow. I guess as long as the money kept coming in, pretty much anything or anyone Carmen did was a-okay by her!

Nothing to do with the current lines, but sort of connected to Dru, fan Roquelle wonders where Olivia went. Well, when Victoria Rowell (Dru) visited my town recently, someone in the audience asked her that very question. Ms. Rowell said, "well, on the GC set, when people inexplicably disappear, the cast members look at each other, cast their eyes upward and say something like, oh, she's just in the attic." So there you have it. Olivia went up the stairs to the attic one day and as far as anyone knows, she's still up there, rummaging around for whatever she went up there for in the first place.

Lastly, the Reliquary and all it and whom it encompasses, which is pretty much the remaining members of the cast in one way or another. So, who is that standing immediately behind Brad, looking fearfully over his shoulder at times? Is it his shadow? Nope, it's just Victoria. Reduced to nodding, looking afraid and blending into the woodwork and wallpaper, while Hubby and Daddy pull and jerk her puppet strings. CEO who? I can only imagine how happy she must have been to get to haul out those Scrabble pieces and attempt to decipher the Reliquary inscription. Only to have her thunder stolen by the whiny, whispering, one art class-attending college student, Colleen.

I got it! Colleen announced triumphantly, blowing into the room, that bulky brown coat billowing around her, the gale force winds generated by its movement sending Victoria's Scrabble pieces skittering off the table. Pretending she had actually used that pea brain of hers, she simply parroted everything Special K told her, without a clue as to whether it was accurate or not. Oh, by the way, side note to Wardrobe: Colleen is supposed to be 20, not 50. Lose the bulky sweaters, belts larger in circumference than her head and fur topped coats even Gram Rebecca wouldn't be caught in, in public or private. Going strictly by apparel, if you didn't know any better (and had your TV on mute so as to miss the sarcastic whiny comments) when paired with Victoria, you'd think she was the grownup instead of the other way around.

I know it's terrible to say, but isn't Colleen exactly the type of person you want bad things to happen to, just so someone (yourself if no one else is available to volunteer) can taunt her with a mocking chorus of "That's what you get. I told your smart-alecky behind so."

"If I want your advice, I would have asked for it," she snapped nastily at Victoria, the ice and disdain in her voice instantly freezing Victoria's feet to the carpet. Then seconds later, she was begging, "oh please don't tell my Daddy I'm doing the mattress mamba with my teacher." At that point, had I been the scribe putting words in Victoria's mouth, what would have come out of it would have been something like, "uh-huh, you spoiled little whiny brat, that's a whole different tune you're crooning now, isn't it? Oh, and when I want your immature input, I'll send you a text message and ask for it."

Colleen might be a few years older, but I see she hasn't left her stalker tendencies behind. What part of the professor's "we aren't going to do this anymore" did not make it through her thick and concrete consistency skull? Just like she once did with J.T., she manages to continually launch herself into the professor's immediate vicinity. Professor K has worked hard to convince us of Colleen's supposed superior intelligence, but I guess I'm the stupid one because I sure can't tell it by her immature actions. I'm still guessing the prof is a good guy, but it would be worth it to be proved wrong just to see Colleen wedged in a spot too tight for her smart mouth to extract her from.

Also loosely entangled in the Reliquary net is Jana, who has mysteriously disappeared, and if the grist from the rumor mill is filled with more truth than fiction, she may never be seen again. In the attic, perhaps? Poor Kevin; for years, people have been drilling into him that honesty is the best policy. Guess they were wrong, because did you see Jana's face when she heard his confession? I guess when the rubber got right up against the road, Jana's obsession with serial killers didn't extend much past the covers of her scrapbook. Looks like Kevin is going to be checking the box labeled "Single" again. Well, if no one else wants the job, I could probably be persuaded to apply for Jana's vacant position. I don't care in the least that he tried to kill Colleen.

Speaking of single, what's up with Jeffrey Todd? Typically the men and women of GC move on a lot faster than this from one revolving door romance to the other. Often within minutes of ending one true love affair they're bounding immediately into the next. Yet he's still at loose ends and it's been, what, two weeks? But, Valentine's Day is coming, and I'm hearing all kinds of outlandish things about two formerly clandestinely linked people who just may get caught linking in some unspecified form again. Could be that J.T.'s dry spell will end sooner rather than later.

Before I go, though it seems we already know his identity, I'm still looking forward to the next installment of What ever happened to Baby Jane, I mean Baby Boy Chancellor?

Oh yeah, I can't leave without showing everyone my crossed fingers that Jack actually learned something from Congressman Bodie that he can used to attempt to turn the tables on the calculating Newman duo. Nikki and Victor are entirely too self-confident, so certain they've set a fool-proof trap that will leave their Jack prey caught in their snare while they look down at him condescendingly and filled with triumph. Even if Jack eventually loses in the end, which is highly likely, wouldn't it be wonderful if he actually gave Victor a run for his money, just this once? How fun to see Jack also playing the "best friend" card, while scheming mightily behind Mr. and Mrs. We're in Charge of the World Newman. Well, that's the way I would write it anyway!

Though there's always something more that could be said, this is the point in my column where I've decided not to say any more. But that's okay, because many of you said exactly what I was thinking about so many things. I've already enjoyed what you had to say, so I'm sharing it with everybody else. Meet you all here next week!

* * * * * * *

JANE - I have been a fan of Y&R for ever. And while I really like Phyllis, I would just like to know where she went. The Phyllis I love would have killed Sheila as soon as she stepped in the house, but all you see is Sheila at the door and then Phyllis all tied up. Where is the sass that Phyllis usually has and why is she so calm about this whole thing? As for the Reliquary - well who cares about Brad anyway - get rid of him, he's boring. Same with Colleen, how annoying can one person be! Have you noticed how much bigger she is then Korbel - they look weird together. The stories are okay, but they do tend to drag on and there aren't really any true villains anymore - you could always rely on Michael and Phyllis to be up to something. The only good storyline - is let's get Jack - I am so sick of that whiny guy - he really is useless.

EMILY - First, what kind of cop is Maggie that she opens a cell without back up and then lets a bleeding woman overtake her? Not much training there. And I am sick to death of this Sheila business. I thought we were finally over with then WAM she is back. The writers must have run out of storylines and had to go into the archives to see what they could dig up. Well, I hope after this they burn this one.

CC - In a perfect world, we would find out killer Phyllis/Sheila was smuggled into town by serial killing boyfriend, Korbel. He should off the oh so annoying Colleen. She's on too much. She whines too much. It gives no time to show that old Lily can have as good a chemistry with Daniel as former "new" Lily. We could be losing the much cooler Jana for bratty Colleen to get more time? And could they just burn the reliquary? This story is carbon dated after nearly 7 months. Love your column, and as always, it is dead on. I'm so glad Sheila is on the loose. Maybe things will heat up now!

LYNDSEY - When the storyline about Sheila stealing 'Scottie' was finally wrapped up, I quit watching Y&R. I recently started watching again, and lo and behold, the storyline is about Sheila, Lauren, and a new baby! How redundant!

CASSANDRA - I love you Nita and your witty comments. You say everything I'm thinking. Okay now to this fiasco called a soap. I know I'm not alone in saying that all these storylines are stupid! If the killer to the Mess-ta case isn't solved soon, I will make a guest appearance on the show and confess to the murder! It feels like this thing has been going on for years and it's just plain sickening. Speaking of sickening, Colleen and Lily are getting on my last good nerve! They act like little high school teenagers. Instead of listening to Colleen whine and whimper about Korbel, she needs to be keeping her eyes on Amber and Daniel because I have a feeling Lily's going to be replaced. Another s/l that ticks me off is that ridiculous reliquary. Enough already! Let's move on with life and what we know about Brad's. And last but certainly should be least is the Sheila/Phyllis s/l which is literally making me ill. "Kill the Bitch" should have been the permanent exclamation point to this one. And can anyone tell me why Paul cares about her well being? She's a k-i-l-l-e-r! Let her die of infection, who cares? It's not like she'll be missed. Why feed her? I don't get it. Now look at what's happened. Sheila's out (thanks to Maggie) and now she's going to run amuck again! Give me a break! I just wish all those s/l would do a disappearing act!

ROCQUELLE - Hey, just a thought, but where is Olivia? Did she get lost while trying to leave work? Why is everyone hating on Phyllis? How can I say this, oh yeah like this: a marriage where neither party can remain faithful is not a real marriage. Phyllis did not break up Nick and Sharon. There, much better. Sharon has cheated repeatedly and kissed Victor, for anyone who has forgotten. Then, she abandoned her children. To top it off, she is and never was the sharpest tool in the shed, so why is everyone acting like she's the innocent party? Especially when she turned around and slept with Brad/George (don't even get me started on that debacle). Vicky should slap that beeotch. First Diego, now Brad? That girl has got to keep her legs closed!

JULIE - I, too, have stopped watching on a regular basis. I always thought Y&R was the top rated show because it didn't have all the "over the top" storylines like the others soaps do. Watching Paul with Maggie makes me think I am watching the movie "Fargo". Is he that desperate that he has to wind up with someone like her? Not his style, if the new writers have paid attention to history. Man, I'll come on the show and be his girlfriend for free if you are having a budget crisis! Hahaha. Just get on with the stories, and for heavens sake, wrap them up with a bow and put them to rest. The only thing that seems interesting these days is the Phillip story. No wonder they say that daytime viewing is down!

MARY - I agree with you, Nita! Except don't you think Amber should go away? Right along with the most annoying David Izarry's character and most of all Sheila! Yee gads that red lipstick on Amber makes her look like a real street walker. I am about to turn it off too. All of these storylines make me want to puke! I'm giving Y&R til the end of this week and if something doesn't change and fast, I am quitting! Who's writing this junk anyway?

MICHELLE - Regarding Ashley - I've just started watched Y&R - Congratulations - I really enjoy the show, but frankly, regarding Ashley's role - she's right - what role, I think I've seen her maybe twice (two minutes as a holiday gathering and when she got shipped off to China of all places - that was a little much - Where's Genoa supposed to be again? I think it's exact polar opposite is New Zealand. (I couldn't help myself) but regarding the hot story - what's up with the Phyllis look-alike in the cage. What a nut job! I think that story is hotter than the ones you listed. She's coo-coo for Coco Puffs. I'm giddy to see what she's going to be up to. I'd love to see her with disguises and surprise attacks - FedEx delivery, caterer, singing telegrams! Oooh! Keep up the juicy fun.

SHIRLEY - Well, another soap down the drain. LOL. I just cannot stand another round of the Sheila/Lauren thing. I am sick, sick, sick of it. Can't stand Colleen, I want to slap her, and where in God's name did they find that girl cop? Only good thing lately is I haven't had to look at bug eyed Gloria too much. I really despise her. When is she going to pay for trying to ruin Jabot? I can't stand Jana either, what purpose is she serving? The only reason I watch at all is because of Victoria Rowell, she is just great. More Katherine and Jill would be good too. Tired of the reliquary thing too. Way too dragged out. Just don't like it any more! In fact I really don't like any soaps any more. it seems as though TPTB are trying o get rid of all of them. In short they all suck lately!

RIVERDANCER - Plots and storylines are dead in the water for lack of oxygen. Over and over and over, the same words, the same people. The absolute worst is the actress whispering Colleen's lines. Take her off soon. If Victor calls long in the tooth Nikki "My baby" one more time I'll throw up. Too bad the writers don't write more public service lines. They should start with young people making choices but not held accountable for them, i.e. leave home? Pay your own way. Sleep with your professor? Find another home. You get the idea.

SALLY - Love your Two Scoops column! This will be the first year in a long time when February Sweeps aren't going to be all that thrilling, rather a relief to get some of these ridiculous stories wrapped up. I like the fact that storylines have been sped up, but some very talented actors are being wasted these days. A year ago, the Y&R could have been the Nick, Sharon and Jack hour. Now these people have been reduced to little more than background extras. Ditto for Greg Rikaart (Kevin) - what has happened to this talented actor? He barely gets one or two lines per week. And what has happened to Michael's once-witty dialogue? I am glad to see Paul finally get a story, but how about some of our other favorites? A little balance would be nice. I also agree that Y&R badly needed some new characters, but it seems like too many new people all at once now without good character development. I am just not getting attached to any of the new people. So far, Amber, Cane and David Chow have been a waste of air time. Only new one who seems interesting to me is Professor Korbel.

WANDA - Nita, you were right on the money with this week's thoughts. They will probably solve all these mysteries about the same time Fen and Summer start classes at GCU. Of course with soap time, that could be next month. You know if Sheila does kidnap Fen and Summer, there won't be a place on this earth where she'll be safe from Michael and Victor. Hey, for punishment, they could put Sheila and Gloria in the same prison cell. And they could receive regular visits from Nikki and Amber. But wait, that part about the visits would be considered cruel and unusual punishment. LOL. Signed - Waiting Not Quite as Patiently for Fresh Storylines as I Once Was.

JULIE - Was I mistaken to think that Amber was brought to Genoa City as part of the Sheila storyline? What is the point of her character right now? At this point all she has done is nose around in other people's business. Same thing goes for Jana. She's got to have some bigger connection to one of the current storylines. The writers don't just stick these characters in for kicks. They usually have some sort of dark past or scandalous secret, don't they?

JUNE - Is it just me or are Daniel and Lily the most unaffectionate teen couple there is? They never hug or kiss or touch each other. With Davetta she was very affectionate and very touchy- feely. For this to be the original Lily who ran away with him I would think they would be much more affectionate. I was shocked when on two occasions Lily turned her head so that Daniel would kiss her on the cheek! That's what close friends do, not married couples. These are teens that are full of hormones. It must be the actress, because all the other young characters have no problem with love scenes. Colleen and J.T. and with Adrian on the couch, in the shower. Jana and Kevin too. How old are Daniel and Lily supposed to be because double dating with the more worldly Amber and that new guy would be a snooze fest. What do they have in common? Are they even old enough to drink? Amber and her date are drinking hard alcohol and what did they have, lemonade? Anyway enough of them. How come when they show Sheila/Phyllis she has dark brown eyes and on Friday her eyes were green or gray. They need to be consistent. If she is truly Sheila trying to be Phyllis than her eyes should be brown until she is out in public trying to fool people with fake contact lenses. I noticed it right away because normally her eyes look so weird like a stepford wife. I'm glad that Paul is starting a relationship with Maggie, I just hope this Sheila thing doesn't ruin it. Has anyone else wondered if this Carmen story is going to be similar to the Sharon/Cameron story, when Sharon kept seeing him knowing that she killed him but he was alive all along. Could Carmen and David be in cahoots with each other to drive Dru over the edge?

WINDY - I really like Paul and Maggie together. I agree with the others, get rid of this Sheila storyline. Let her die in hopes of no return. I think that Summer is really Jack's baby (remember Nick was the only one to see the test). I would love to see Phyllis get back with Jack and Sharon back with Nick. I love the Cane and Amber storyline. They are making it exciting. The Carmen stuff is getting old. Cannot wait to watch it next week.

IRENE - Well it's Friday and I see Sheila has not been bumped off or locked up again yet. I have stopped watching Y&R for over a week now, it was my favorite break during the day, but the writers of this Sheila storyline have just blown it with me big time. Please do not bring this character back, hard for you to believe maybe, but it is stressful and sickening to have to give up a soap because of a stupid, sick storyline. I find I'm not the only one who disapproves of this storyline, and your bringing young babies into it makes it worse. I'd rather see Victor having another affair, that's more believable. I think the next big question is when are you going to write this character out permanently and not have her pop up a year from now. Get it? We don't care for her character, we don't like her and it has gotten old, old, old. Please end this stupidity and get some decent writers in.

JANELLE - I have been watching Y&R for 14 years and I have never seen such a boring storyline as Brad and his Grugeon. I LOVE the show and will watch through thick and thin but Colleen needs to speak up! I hate Phyllis. Has everybody forgotten the things that she's done? She hit Paul with a car and pinned a son on Daniel that wasn't even his. How do you lose a child to somebody who isn't even really their child? I hope Nick and Sharon get back together. Let Jack keep Phyllis, they deserve each other. I hate Gloria and hope William Bardwell sends her to jail for tampering with the Jabot cream. I hate how Kay and Jill talk about Violet and the whole adoption thing right in front of Cane and he never hears. Hello! I hope this month they end these storylines and move on.

NANCY - All 5 main storylines are preposterous. 1. For God's sake finish the Mesta story! Didn't like her to begin with, who friggin' cares who killed her! Whoever it is though, give them a medal! I could see if it was a major character who was murdered. 2. Sheila - just absurd, too absurd to further discuss. (Michael is sooo above this crap.) 3. Reliquary - ditto. 4. Jack/Victor going on since last summer. End it already! Whoever wins, do it now! 5. Kay/Jill/Phillip How ludicrous! C'mon people, as much as Kay hated Jill, she would have never taken away her beloved's true son and given him to a stranger! And Amber, stranger to Kay, finds Phillip instantly, when others take years and years doing same. They've left no mystery whatsoever for us to wonder about who may turn out to be Jill's real son. Exhuming body because someone had a dream for Pete's sake! Are you kidding me? I don't care how influential Kay is, it could never happen. I almost hate that I even discussed these outrageous SLs, gives them too much credence. To all of Nita's readers, most of whom seem to feel the same as I do about most of these SLs, please email copies of the letters you write to Nita to CBS! Although it gets things off our chest writing to Nita; we all say to stop the SLs, get new writers, etc, but it won't happen unless CBS hears from us! I'm sending this exact letter to CBS. Just wanted to say I've watched since day 1, and since last summer I've gone from watching daily, to once or twice a week, to reading only the daily updates here, and now I honestly don't even read most of those as even just reading about it is too farcical to stomach. I will always read your commentary though Nita, best part of the "show"!

SHUNELL - I really like Ms. Rowell (Dru), but if she wants to pursue something else then so be it. If she has an option to be recast, then that's good. Until then if need replacement I'm available.

TRISH - I really have to comment on your statement that you might have to quit writing the Two Scoops column. While I can understand why, I hope you can hang in & keep it going - you are so terrific at it! I did stop watching Y&R for about 4 days, & then was pulled back into it, after reading some of the recaps. Doesn't anyone remember a few years ago when storylines dragged on forever? Doesn't anyone remember some of the other ridiculous storylines? Such as: the orchid search - how stupid was that watching Phyllis & Dru creeping around on hands & knees on Victor's aircraft? Lots of past stories began & then were mysteriously dropped, going nowhere. Lauren snooping in Brad's desk drawer, finding something & then poof - gone out of sight, out of mind. I think that there is much more humor being used on the show these days, which I'm enjoying immensely. Colleen telling Korbel that he guessed it, she & her family are North Koreans in hiding. Did anyone catch Paul answering Magpie's question "Who was that?" (referring to Sheila) & he responds "Please be okay, she's just a psychopath, don't die." I guess psychopaths are a normal part of everybody's normal day to day routine. I laughed & laughed when I heard that. Anyway, as much as I think some of the stories & characters are particularly annoying, I've always found this to be so, so nothing has really changed all that much. I do believe that they are going to get rid of all the established characters - Kay, Jill & the older Newmans & replace them with the Ambers, Canes, Lily's & Daniels.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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