Photo Tracey E. Bregman
Genoa City sleaze
by Nita
For the Week of January 8, 2007
Other Two Scoops for the week of January 8, 2007
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January 1, 2007
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January 15, 2007
And it's currently going by the name of Colleen Carlton.

And it's currently going by the name of Colleen Carlton.

Once the pampered poster girl of innocence, the portrait of that particular Colleen has become a faded photograph, yellowing in an album tucked far back on a high shelf in our memory bank. To be honest, innocence has not been a part of Colleen Carlton since she left and returned as someone else. A someone else who is manipulative and calculating, who caws raucously like a crow about secrets and lies, while lying fluently and easily through her teeth without so much as a telltale flutter of her thick, heavily mascared, false eyelashes.

True, Colleen couldn't remain an innocent maiden forever; she had to become a woman eventually. And I have no problem with that. After all, it isn't as if she lined up a score of men and determinedly decided to sleep her way through them. She's only on the second of the many loves of her life to come. And I even understand how she can bounce from one man to the other without any discernible show of remorse or use of protective measures. Since I presume her romantic interludes with both J.T. and the Professor were supposed to represent a spontaneous, I couldn't help myself because I'm torn between two lovers kind of act. She's not a lot different from many woman who might have one man in the morning, another at night, perhaps even tossing in a third at midday, without so much as one downcast look of shame, while they decide how to pick one over the other. I know they're out there because I saw them for myself, battling over beaus on Jerry Springer's stage or sitting on the hot seat to Maury's left trying to determine baby's daddy's with a public display of printed DNA. Once Colleen decides which one she wants, I presume she'll be relatively faithful until she leaves him for the third love of her life, or decides to return to the first one. My problem lies, of course, as it always does, in her hypocrisy. How many times has she clambered aboard her sway backed donkey of indignation, galloped all over Genoa City like some wild-haired town crier, bringing us to the very brink of belly-wrenching nausea with her whiny whispers about J.T.'s secrets and lies? Yet when it was her turn to pay the Piper, she passed the buck instead.

Which makes Colleen in my mind, not just a cheat, but a soap-sleazy cheat. In her mind, she's relived her racy romp with the Professor every other second or so, yet that hasn't precluded her from participating in a soft porn shower scene with J.T., which followed a sweaty floor show, so to speak, only moments earlier. If she wanted J.T. to let her go without peppering with annoying why, why, why's, all she has to do was open her wishy washy mouth and whisper I did the horizontal hokey pokey with my Professor. Oh, I guarantee, J.T. would have immediately quit grovelling at her undeserving feet and helped her pack up her few boxes of belongings so fast, her immature head would have spun right off her neck. When she comes clean, I'll have much more respect for her.

Now, the Professor. Forget the sleaze factor of his slipping on the sheets with one of his students, when he was so quick to puff his principled chest out and condemn his former co-worker for the very same act. He's little better than Colleen, using Amber as a poor substitute for the student he covets. But at least Amber is his age, not his student, and is throwing it at him for all she is worth. And since the male contingent of Genoa City seems to think Amber is so "hot", why would the Professor be the man to refuse her free stuff?

Funny thing about the cheaters, I mean the movers and shakers of Genoa City. They have a very different way of looking at their love lives. If I'm getting this right, cheating is a no-no, the ultimate sin ferociously frowned upon, but only if the two are together at the time. Now, here's where it gets a little confusing. Together at the time can mean many different things to the same number of people. The way Colleen sees it, it was okay for J.T. to cheat on Mac with Victoria because they weren't together at the time. Even though at the time Mac wasn't aware they weren't together. In fact, even as he was hastily completing his sofa stand with Victoria, Mac was pacing the floor back at the loft, visions of every possible dire circumstance that could have befallen her fellow hurtling through her head. But, in Colleen's eyes, that was okay; after all it wasn't her he was cheating on. As for Victoria, she wasn't really cheating on Brad, because, heck, their romance had been over for hours by then. So, just because Professor Korbel is already bouncing busily on the bedsprings with Scamber, I mean Amber, that doesn't make him a cheat just because he so very recently sagged the office sofa springs with Colleen. After all, Colleen had told him they couldn't be together, so you know how the song goes; if you can't be with the one you're with, love whoever else is handy and overly eager.

Having said all that, though, when the end finally comes, I'll be doing a little jig of joy, thrilled to say adieu to the duo of J.T. and Colleen. I know there aren't many women left in the City who haven't been there, done that too, with J.T., but we know J.T. never remains the alone ranger for long. After Colleen reclaims her Professor, Amber will be looking for lust in all the usual Genoa City places, and since she was once seen eying J.T. like he was the last cherry licorice stick languishing in the candy jar, I don't think it will take her long to set her amorous sights on him. She and Colleen can simply switch bed partners. I've never been a big Amber fan, but I could probably stomach her with J.T.. And if not Amber, Victoria and Brad are not destined to last forever, we are in Genoa City after all, so she could conceivably find herself coming back to J.T. for seconds.

Two more comment about J.T.. Perhaps he ought to think about a career change. Because his instincts aren't worth diddly, considering he can't detect anything irregular in Colleen's relationship with Professor K. And finally, rather satisfying and appropriately ironic that this time J.T. is the one being cheated upon instead of the other way around.

Is Lauren the only law-abiding citizen left in this misbegotten metropolis? Because these days, just about everyone else is operating outside the law. It wasn't enough to make Paul a rapist, depending on which side you stood on when that was going on, but now he's become a kidnapper. And Michael, an alleged officer of the court, supposedly sworn to uphold justice, and presumably report any and all wrongdoing wherever he may find it, has become his uneasy accomplice. Oh, I understand why Paul would do what he did. He wants to protect Lauren from the evil Vampira, Sheila, who has made it her mission to suck any semblance of life from Lauren. But the whole beast in the cage thing is just too funny. First of all, it's a little late to turn her in to the authorities without finding himself in the cell right next to her, watching helplessly as she manages to manipulate some jailer into setting her free. So if he doesn't plan to kill her and bury her some place where she'd never be found, just how does he plan to do away with her? Maybe he could stop bringing her expensive takeout from Genoa City establishments and let her starve to death. Or he can wait for her to lose the little she has left of her mind and maybe do away with herself by banging her fool head against the bars until she expires. Speaking of those bars, do you suppose Sheila managed to find the same person to build her cell as the one who built the cage Lisa kept Brad captive in?

But back to Sheila. Maybe it will get better, but so far, this Sheila stuff is pure silly nonsense. First of all, my biggest beef is I see not a shred of Sheila in this storyline. All I see and hear is Phyllis. Phyllis, staring out at nothing, lying on the floor, talking to herself in the mirror in Phyllis' voice, trying to sound menacing to Paul, imitating her own mannerisms, all Phyllis. Michelle Stafford is a great actress, but so far she's just not sinister, crazy, Sheila. At least not yet. I even tried closing my eyes during those scenes, but then I felt silly, because it was still all Phyllis. But, I have hopes that when she finally escapes, surely it will get much better. And escape has to be in the future, because months of Phyllis in the cage sparring with either Paul or Michael will not even make it to the boredom stage, it will just be stuck at stupidity. In the meantime, I can amuse myself by pondering how she will accomplish it. By locking Michael and Paul up in the cage? But then how to explain their disappearance? With two already in the need to know loop, how long before a third stumbles upon their secret? Like J.T.. Because something tells me he might soon have a lot of free time on his hands. If done right, I can imagine the menace in scenes between Lauren and who she thinks is her new best bud, Phyllis. Even better, interaction between Phyllis and her ever-grinning groom should also be entertaining. Because you certainly can't count on Nick to know the difference. After all, he wasn't able to detect any difference between stroking Sharon in the dark and Grace. And he had been stroking his palm over Sharon's curves a lot longer than he's been stroking Phyllis' But best of all, by far, way, way, way, down the path of the future, will be when her deception starts to unravel.

When it comes to hypocrisy, in this town, it is living as high on the hog as soap-sleazy. Victor, a black a character as any I've ever seen, is mewling like a little maiden about paying Jack back for his litany of lies and deceit. Oh, right, like everything Victor has done and continues to do to get what he wants is above aboard and without mud smirches. This man is the king of devious deception. Jack has done no worse than he. At least Jack has never bricked anyone up in the family basement and tortured them with piped in home movies of soap sleazy sex with their significant other. That's right; my memory is like the proverbial Elephant. I don't forget much.

Like a perfectly matched book end, Nikki has become as rabid as her husband. But perhaps she should have left the job of hatemongering solely to Victor, because bitter hatred and the pursuit of vengeance is taking its toll, making her extremely unattractive, not to mention extraordinarily annoying. All because Jackie didn't play fair when he was sifting sand in the sandbox with Victor. Come on, Victor Newman has been a big boy for a very, very, very long time. So what, Jack took Victor up on his plea to take NVP off his hands before Jack was aware all his pistons weren't firing properly. So what, Jack tricked him into loaning (not giving, loaning) him a large sum of money to get Jabot back by any means necessary. So what Jack told a lie or many to accomplish his goal? So what, he tricked poor, poor Katherine Chancellor. So what, so what, so what? Nikki and Victor are acting as if he stole their only child and sold him into lifelong servitude. Nikki could care a little bit less than I do what happens to Jabot. Jabot was just a toy she played with when she didn't have anything else going in her life. And she certainly has never had any true, lasting love for the Abbotts. Oh sure, she had respect and admiration for big John Abbott, and had temporary caring for Jack at one long ago time. But she'd likely have rather cut out her sharp tongue at the root than to have had to use it to say something nice about Ashley. And despite that fake voice and manner she uses while cooing at Abby in a pretense at caring, you know deep down inside her rancid soul, she wishes Abby had remained in that test tube. The way her hypocritical mind works, it was perfectly fine for her and her brats to hatch a plan to place their hands atop one another in order to get the best purchase on the blade they were using to stab the family breadwinner in the back, but let someone else get the upper hand on Victor and it's all out war with permanent maiming. Heck, why don't they just hire a hit man to take Jack out. It would be kinder and quicker than what they are planning. Oh how joyful a day it would be in my life if their plan wound up blowing up right in their sanctimonious, supercilious faces.

Okay, already hanging by a single thread, obviously, the scribes are determined to snip it too, sending Ashley's character plummeting to its dishonourable demise. How sad that Ashley's near final swan song should be sung while dancing jerkily to Victor's deceptive tune. Afraid Ashley would eventually blurt out Jack's diabolical plan before he could leap up and stuff her mouth with his handkerchief, thereby spoiling his plans to play the Creator and make Jack pay the piper for his debts, Victor used Ashley's blind obsession for him against her. The Great and Powerful one spun her around by her little string, and talked her into moving far, far away from any chance of spoiling his anticipated fun. So what, with Ashley would likely go the test tube baby he sometimes claims to care so deeply about. Right, so deeply, he casually left her to be raised by her sister. As to what Ashley tried to do to her own brother, I can't quite decide how I feel about that. On the one hand, it seems a little out of character for Ashley, despite her near lifelong obsession for Victor's love and approval, to attempt to throw Jack to the black wolf like a chunk of bloody meat. Especially since love and family loyalty was the main reason things ended repeatedly with Victor in the past. But at the same time, I could understand her anger and frustration at Jack's high handedness in messing up her life. But accusing him of murdering Carmen, okay that was out there. Of course, I guess it could have been worse. The scribes could have killed her off instead of simply banishing her to Hong Kong until (if) they need her again. But that if it should ever happen is for later. For now, Victor wins again.

And before the dust from the ancient reliquary has settled, my mouth is already forming a ho hum yawn at the thought of yet another future Victor victory, now that Brad has finally come clean about everything that happened in his past. Brad and Victor teaming up together to continue this tepid tale of trailing the reliquary. Please say it will end soon.

I finally figured something out about Genoa City men and women. They simply don't think before they speak. They just open their mouths and let any old words fly out. Sometimes when they talk, all I can hear in my mind is the sound made by adults on those old Charlie Brown specials. You know the ones I mean; they sound something like wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk. Like when Nick was standing up and being a man after being accused of betrayal for not telling Daddy Big Bucks what was really going on with Brad and his back story, along the way sternly reminded of his real backstabbing betrayal the time he turned father over to the Feds. "You broke the law, Nick stated pompously with great righteousness. You were wrong." Oh and Brad didn't break the law by committing murder, no matter that it was self defense? Ask John Abbott what happens to people who kill in self-defense next time he comes by, chains a-rattling, to chastise his son. "I'm not Victor Newman 2.0," Nick continued. "I'll stand up for what's right. Unless, I guess, he's been sworn to secrecy to keep his behind planted in the chair. He's also proven he'll lie down on the couch or in the hay for what's clearly wrong as well. I had to throw that in there. I just couldn't help myself.

NEW FOR 2007

I promised myself that this year, amidst the large amount of unsatisfactory fare being served through the week, which I unapologetically and copiously comment upon; I would strive to dig out a few palatable portions as well to push around my plate. To find, so to speak, a silver lining or two around the dark and dismal clouds. So here are my silver linings; my top three four for High Points of the Week.

Jack Abbott: Years having been shaved from those remaining of his life at the knowledge his sister had nearly sold his deepest, darkest secret for the price of an approving smirk from Victor when Phyllis stumbled upon him, Jack was clearly a tortured man, slowly becoming overwhelmed by all the lies he had told. Jack looked exactly like a man being slowly strangled with a noose he had made to fit someone else's neck. These are the Jack Abbott moments I love. When he's a man caught momentarily with his guard down, almost wordless with pain, seeming to be on the brink of a tearful breakdown before he yanks his Smiling Jack mask back into place.

Jack Abbott and Phyllis Newman. Again, moments worth waiting for. Their business meeting. A vulnerable Jack, obviously still as much in love with Phyllis as he ever was. A love that once Sharon realizes is still alive, though slumbering, will surely stamp The End across any relationship between them, other than a platonic one. It is bound to sting more than a little bit, to know that Phyllis owns both Nick and Jack's heart. Jack has always talked a very good game, but it's always been clear he has a huge softness inside him. And it's never more apparent than when he's dealing with Phyllis. And, just my opinion, these simple exchanges between Jack and Phyllis with and without Summer, have so much more substance than the steamiest scene between Nick and Phyllis.

Lauren Baldwin. Despite the fact that Lauren often makes me want to give her a good solid shake in hopes of snapping her out of what's ailing her, I do realize what she's experiencing is something many women have suffered. I thought she was very believable as a woman near the end of her rope as she collapsed into Paul's arms. I hope Michael wakes up soon and gets his woman to a doctor, post haste.

And lastly, my final High Point of the Week had to do with what wasn't on my plate instead of what was. Another too-generous portion of Gloria Golddigger. Grateful thanks to the powers that be for that her omission.

So much for what I thought. Now it's your turn, fans, to chime in with opinions. As always, I enjoy every word! We all watch the same show, and it's often amazing how both identically and differently we see things. In keeping with me new resolution to look for a silver lining in all the dark clouds, please feel free to share what you did like along with the many things that threatened to sever your very last nerve.

* * * * * * *

CORI - Y&R would be nothing this year if it hadn't been for the pairing of Nick and Phyllis. You know I adore this couple and of course I am biased just as you don't and you are biased but, as you said they are gorgeous, but there is something more. There is a spark, a chemistry that cannot be denied between these two. They bring out the passion in all of us, whether for them or against them. We cannot be held responsible for what comes out of their mouths and their actions, because that is up to the writers. But, these two need no words to even be spoken; they just set the screen on fire. I would hope to think that they don't break up this pair, instead build on that fire and develop a bad girl/good boy storyline, or a powerhouse business storyline. Unlike Sharon, Phyllis is Nick's equal, if not superior. In a year, they have more communication and support and love from each other, than Nick and Sharon had in ten years. They talk, they communicate, he respects her opinion and her intelligence. She may be wild, but that is part of her charm. And, let us not forget a very important fact. MS is one of the greatest actresses on daytime. She makes everyone better. She makes her screen partner more interesting, more giving and more talented. Nick has come alive in the last year, instead of being wallpaper for the last 10.

DEBORAH - I too will really miss the character, Ashley Abbott, Eileen Davidson. I did not comment earlier due to conflicting reports of her departure. I have watched Young and the Restless since the soap was initially broadcast in 1970's when I was "Young". Ms. Davidson is a superb actress and storylines should be developed for actors and actresses who assisted in the development of Young and Restless. When Ashley's character changed, I discovered Ms. Davidson on Days of Our Lives. I watched because of Ms. Davidson's skill to depict her characters. It is interesting you are able to develop storylines for other senior members of the cast and not for Ms. Davidson. Presently, Kay Chancellor will be involved with Phillip's return. So, if you can be creative with the Chancellor storyline, and we both know the actress playing the role will probably retire much sooner than Ms. Davidson, could you not do the same for Eileen Davidson? Ms. Davidson at least is younger than Kay Chancellor. If you can make Jill Mrs. Chancellor's daughter and return Phillip from the dead, Ms. Davidson's character should be developed too. After all, there are few cast members with the dignity and grace of Ashley's character in soap operas. Ms. Davidson and the character Ashley will be missed. Hopefully, you will recognize the need for a Chemist. Ashley in a soap opera with issues of the "Cosmetic Industry". Who will develop the cosmetics now? There is no one on the show with this talent. So, as you see, Eileen Davidson's character did have a purpose and more sensible function than any other character with the cosmetic industry.

SARA - Why does Phyllis have a real baby and Lauren always have some thing? Could you please, please, please get a doll for her? I just hate to see the board she carries around. No wonder she does not want to go out. Another thing; I just hate to see Phyllis and Nick together. I hate watching them. Why are you sending Ashley away? She is my favorite; she is an excellent actress, she gives the show a good flavor. You tried to get rid of her a couple of times which was a disaster. No one can replace her. Or, are you getting rid of all the Abbott family? I hope not. I have watched this show close to 30 years and nobody, nobody, does Ashley's character justice.

BEVERLEY - Sheila, Sheila, Sheila! Looks like the writers have run out of ideas for a good storyline. I have had enough of Sheila to last a lifetime. The new storyline is stupid. How could Sheila build the cell all by herself and set up the room to look just like Lauren's baby's room? The main flaw is the voice. There is no way Sheila would have the exact same voice as Phyllis and even if she did she would not use it when she is talking to Paul and especially not when she is talking to herself.

CAROLE - Loved your commentary Nita, and also loved the writing of NERO. I've been watching Y&R since the first show aired and I think I'm coming to the end of the line. I just can't believe we have to endure another Sheila story (one that seems more implausible than ever). Can't the writers come up with some interesting storylines rather than having yet another person locked in yet another cage? Actually, I don't like most of the storylines. I can't stand the Brad et al story; I couldn't care less about them, including Victoria. Colleen and J.T. and the mad professor - a major yawn. Now, another missing/dead baby story for Katherine. I really wouldn't be surprised if Genoa City is soon inhabited by aliens, the writing becomes more woo-woo every day! Blue striped blanket Fen (I too hate the name) is always wearing a hat. What's up with that? I had two babies; I didn't keep hats on them inside the house! If Lauren could just get herself to the Boutique, she could pick up something else for that kid to wear. Carmen - are we still going to be wondering who murdered her at the end of 2007? I can remember the days when I could hardly wait for the next show - at this point though; I'm pretty much done!

TANYA - Okay, this is how I think the Brad crap should play out. I think they'll find out Rebecca is someone Brad hired to "play" his mother (she is so devoid of emotion when talking about the murder of her family). That Brad is actually some deranged murderer and when he's confronted with this, he'll hold Victoria hostage which will send the moustache into a rage the likes of which we haven't seen since he had a stroke/heart attack and Jack stepped over his body. Love the 2 scoops column. Not sure I would even bother to watch Y&R every day as it had really dragged out the storylines lately.

JENNIE - Just wanted to comment on your worst list of 2006 for Y&R. I have recently found your commentary and enjoy them! I agree with a lot of what you said about what was bad (and the little good you mentioned) about this year on Y&R. As for Colleen, yes, she is incredibly annoying. If I watch the show on Tivo, I usually FF her scenes w/ Korbel and J.T. because it's all the same. I do the same with Brad & Victoria scenes. As for your question about the behavior of girls her age, yes, they do act like that. First I think Colleen is supposed to be about 18 or 19 years old because she's starting her second year of college and she finished high school early, if I recall correctly. Anyway, I'm an academic advisor at a public university, and I see students like her all the time. Many young adults are being raised to get everything they want, and when they don't get it the first time, a fair amount of whining will get them what they want. When that doesn't happen, then comes the super-whining. So her behavior to me isn't that strange. I liked how Brad's identity was coming about, but with the Sharon kidnap and this reliquary thing, I'm not interested. I wished the mystery and suspense that came about at the beginning continued on. I liked Nick & Phyllis when the affair first started, then it became boring when their relationship was accepted by the majority of the characters on the show and Sharon gets cast away (it's almost like Brad & Angelina). I was hoping Sharon was going to make this divorce ugly and not only see a bitter custody battle but an ugly battle for serious alimony. I'm not bothered by the lengthiness of wrapping up the Carmen Mesta murder. I think it's annoying that the DA and his cop-partner are so tunnel visioned to believe that Devon would kill her. But even with the fans believing he didn't do it, wouldn't it be funny that someone else like Jack or Brad gets put away for it, when Devon actually did it all along? I'm still trying to figure out who the murderer is, and I keep thinking it will be someone the viewers don't expect. Wouldn't it be funny if Carmen faked her death? No one seems to be able to figure out who killed her. I personally have been enjoying Y&R because it's better TV than Bold and the Beautiful. Anyway, just wanted to post a comment. Thanks for your column, it's enjoyable fun when I'm not motivated to get started at work.

RYAN - Have you ever heard of Jeanne Cooper and Jess Walton? They play, like, the most interesting characters on the show.

CABC - Yes, what a disturbing year 2006 has been. I wholeheartedly agree with you on everything. The mediocrity of the s/l's are very scary because it's no longer the heart wrenching, sitting on the edge of your seat Y&R. It's more like the NEWMAN and PHYLLIS SHOW. So many actors have fallen to the wayside because of a lack of imagination. "Don't know how to write for you, so YOU'RE FIRED! "Hey you're too talented of an actor/actress, no s/l's for you, too difficult. I know, I know, I'll just completely re-write history and come up with my own stuff. Reliquary, please toss that crap out! Nikki simply has to go, who the hell is she these days! Victor and Jack, two brilliant actors going to waste because they're just that damn good, they don't know what to do with them, so let's repeat history for the 100th time, it worked many times before! Phyllis love ya, but way, way, overexposed! Colleen, old/new Lily, just get rid of the entire teen scene! LOVE the Winters, but I can tell they too will be destroyed in time. Sharon/Jack will make good friends, keep it that way. HELP FOR 2007!

KERI - I think you are off the mark when it comes to certain storylines. You and many fans sometimes talk as if you just want all the characters to behave circumspectly all the time, no one should ever cheat or anything. What would we tune in? Take for instance Colleen and Korbel. This pairing is not only exciting, it's realistic. Very few of us stay with our first love. It seems very realistic to me that Colleen should eventually move past J.T. and this is usually the time when it happens, when a girl is in college and her world expands. The Korbel/Colleen pairing is the most exciting thing on right now and the reason I eagerly tune in these days. Nick and Phyllis used to do that for me, until they got married, then they just became annoying because they did not show any remorse, which would have been normal. I think writers need to remember that romantic storylines are a major pull with fans. Action adventures and whodunits are annoying. This is not the genre for it. If I want to watch those things, I'd tune in to primetime shows that do it well. So LML should quit the stupid Brad/reliquary s/l, quit resurrecting Sheila, and wrap up the Carmen murder mystery. Give us more love stories, more family oriented stories, etc. It's the stuff of great soaps.

JULIE - I could not agree with you more about Colleen! She is SO annoying! And to answer your question, 20 year old girls do not act like her. I am 20 years old and the only people I know like her are still back in high school. Ever since they recast Colleen, she has been ridiculously immature, insecure, and irrational. I don't buy the Professor's attraction to her either. But hey, if he likes whiny, insecure, hypocritical girls, then he's got exactly what he deserves. Personally, I think much better things could be done with the Professor other than pairing him with Miss I Think I'm The Center of The World. Better things could probably even be done with J.T. for that matter.

ELLEN - Isn't anyone else as tired of Sheila as I am? I loved the shows where she appeared initially. They were exciting and had great twists to the storylines. It seems as though when the stories start to drag, someone says, "Let's bring Sheila back". I don't envy the writers the task of keeping the stories fresh and exciting, but please, give us a break and have a water main flood the cellar with the cell and REALLLLY get rid of Sheila.

LESLIE - I just want to say that the entire Sheila debacle is the only thing I have against Y & R. I've been a long time fan and truly enjoy the fact that Brad Carlton's character has finally gotten some depth as well as Michael Baldwin and his clan. No matter how much I detest the characters, the acting, in my opinion has been an a +++. However, the Sheila storyline is worse than some James Reily "Passions" scenes. If I were Lauren, or even Paul for that matter, I'd take a 9 mm and end the fiasco all together (not to be so brutal). I mean, for crying out loud, this story has been playing out since Lauren had a head full of Aqua Net, it's time for the curtain to finally close on Sheila!

ROSEMARY - Nita, I love your column. However, I agree with some things you wrote but not all. The Brad/Reliquary is BORING! Who really cares & who can/or does believe Brad after his lied all these years. Colleen - I have no idea why she's even on this show! She's useless. Ashley - I will miss her! Plus if they wanted John dead, let him remain DEAD! Nikki - I like Nikki. She's got a smart head on her overdone blond head! Victor - Amazing performance this year when he had a Grand Mal seizure. I for one hope he gets Jack soon! Jack - What a controller he is! He has always been, even before Daddy dearest died. Phyllis - She's a hot, sexy lady (or broad, whichever). Nick - Another useless Newman. Victoria - No CEO of a major corporation can be as dumb as she is about her beloved Brad. Jana/Korbel - PLEASE tell us why they're on the show! Carmen - Witch! Who cares who murdered her? Sheila -Here we go again! If you can't think up a new, interesting storyline, go back to the old tried & true ones! Lauren - Take care of your baby! Michael - Defend Devon! Kevin - I hope he's a Chancellor. Gloria - If she is the mother of a Chancellor, that MAY be incentive for me to watch! Writers - Who called you WRITERS? You're just copiers!

SUE - I have decided not to watch Y and R anymore! As soon as I saw Sheila/Phyllis that was it, too ridiculous! It is amazing Sheila can find surgeons that not only can change her face but change her body type as well! Imagine being able to make ones legs longer- sign me up! The only thing good about this show was discovering this site and this will be the only way I will hear about the show! Keep up the hilarious commentary!

VETTE - Just read the column and I completely agree with you. I've been watching Y & R off and on for years. My mother and both my sisters watch it and we all concur that this has gotten ridiculous. I now read the daily recaps so I don't waste my time with it. I was going to try to hang in there with the hopes that it would get better, but when I watched the episode for Friday the 29th that did it for me. Did anyone else feel like they were watching a very bad "Throw-Back" episode from when Y & R had it together? I feel like the writers came to the realization they had really jacked up this soap so they went into the vault and pulled out the scripts from back when Victor was locking people in his cellar and thought "hey, if it worked then, it will work now"! Well, it worked then but is darn sure did not work this time. The other reason I am really not feeling my once favorite show is the death of the Abbott dynasty. This show has Newmans, both legitimate and illegitimate, running around like roaches and the dynasty of the Abbotts is down to one person; Jack Abbott. Need I say more? Oh, one more thing, I laughed till I cried when I read what Writer Nero wrote. That was hilarious!

TRISH - There has been something bothering me for a while now when I was seeing Sheila/Phyllis locked in that cage and I have just now put my finger on it. She was supposedly killed/captured while returning from SA from her facial reconstruction when Lauren was in the hospital which was months before Phyllis gave birth. It was Paul who said that she had been killed or whatever. Now my question may have already been answered in some way but I don't remember reading anything regarding it. So, why # 1 does Paul have a crib in the cage with her? Why #2 does Paul have a mirror in the cage with her? How #3 did she know Phyllis was pregnant (I'm sure it wasn't in the international newspapers)? Why #4 is Paul giving into Sheila's fantasies? Finally #5 when did Sheila spend so much time watching Phyllis so that she would be able to carefully imitate all her little idiosyncrasies and mannerisms? Also, she would have to know how Phyllis relates to not only Nick but to the Newmans. This is a stupid storyline and overused at best. To me he is only feeding her fantasies which would make her more dangerous. To me Paul should have delivered this maniac to the authorities, having her caged would only make her more determined for revenge. She (Sheila) was an ally to Amber, does Amber know she is alive?

JUNE - I just have a few questions. Why is it that Paul is keeping Sheila locked up in her prison she made for Lauren for so many months without telling anyone? Why is it that no one can see that Lauren is suffering from more than Postpartum depression? She is terrified Sheila is going to take her baby. Considering the fact that Sheila had plastic surgery to look like Phyllis, do you blame her? Who was the one who confirmed the body in the morgue had Sheila's DNA? Was it Paul or Michael? Why would they believe she was dead based on a picture? How much longer is this reliquary story going to be shoved down our throats? And how many times do we have to hear poor Rebecca tell it? And why is it that a simple background check for a job leads the murderers to Brad after all these years? You can't tell me it was the first one that he has had? Why is we are being forced to believe Devon would kill Carmen and drag or drive her body to the club and leave it there to implicate the only parents he has ever known? Why must every prosecutor and detective be so inept? It almost feels like Will Bardwell has a personal vendetta against the Winters. And please someone tell me how much longer we are going to be subjected to this valley girl, neck shaking, whining portrayal of Lily? Why is it that now that she is back in the role, she and Daniel are never together, never kiss, never hug, never show any affection like Daniel did with Davetta's portrayal? They act like friends, not the soul mates we are expected to believe they are. Davetta had much better chemistry. Why did they bring her back? The accident they had during the ice storm was painful to watch because of Lily's whining. I would hate to be depending on her in an emergency! What was the point of bringing back Joanna? I didn't think anyone could be more annoying than Gloria. Why is it that some questions are answered so quickly and others are not, like who is JANA and what is her story?

LATOYA - Happy New Year! Well, this year should be interesting. I read the 2007 spoilers that you posted in one of your previous articles, and I must admit, my interest is piqued. Man, when Shylis turned around in that jail cell, I almost jumped out of my skin. I started running around the house and screaming like crazy. (Mind you, my husband thought I had lost my mind! He thinks that me and my other family members follow Y&R like it is a matter of national security.) I was screaming because it was so eerie, and also because I can't believe I actually figured it out that Sheila actually made herself into Phyllis. The only thing with my reasoning is that it is impossible for the person who had baby Summer to be Sheila, it has to be Phyllis. But, since Sheila has been on the GC scene for four holidays now, she could have been Phyllis is a number of scenes with a fake baby belly, and we didn't even know it! This story brings up so many possibilities. Carmen could have been killed by Sheila when she found out she really wasn't Phyllis, etc. She could have went to the DNA office as Phyllis and found the true daddy of baby Summer. She could have been the one to give the Grand Jury testimony. (Remember Phyllis came out looking all crazy when Michael asked her what went on the room.) Also, when Paul showed Lauren and Michael the picture of Sheila dead on the slab looking like Phyllis, I do believe that was on Halloween, because Lauren panicked when she saw one of the nurses with a Halloween mask on which was in the same episode. So, since Paul and Shylis spent Halloween together, did he find out Shylis was alive before or after he showed the picture? Has he been lying to them all along? What is he up to? Ok, I better stop before I need a drink! As you can see, I am a bit excited about this storyline, but I just wish that they remember KISS (Keep It Simple and Short).

SHIRLEY L - Boy, are you right on! I hate this damn show now! They had to bring back this ridiculous Sheila thing. Enough of that already! I absolutely despise Gloria, with her bug eyes. What a hateful witch she is. Go away! Hate Nick and Phyllis! The age difference alone is sickening! I wish Colleen would go away and Ashley would stay, and where oh where did they find that evil looking Amber? They bring on something like her and get rid of Ashley? Ewww! This is no longer the show I have watched since day one. The only good thing left is Katherine and Jill, and now it seems that relationship is going down the tubes too. I am so sick of the Brad thing. It just goes on and boring on! Enough already!

BETSY - My comments: BadGeorge (no typo): a LOT of suspended reality. Let's see where it goes. As you succinctly listed, lots of future topics to delve into. Nick and Sins of Omissions or Protect Your Family from BadGeorge: when they act like little boys, you treat 'em that way. At least Phyllis didn't carry on like Colleen has about keeping secrets. Nick/Phyllis and "No Remorse": Tim McGraw and Faith Hill have a song out on just that subject. Total denial of the pain. Some people shield themselves for a long time. This is one storyline that I can relate to. ShePhyl: great acting challenge for Michelle Stafford. Unfortunately, I still see her cute, giggly self holding over from her Nick liaison. She's gonna have to dig deeper to bring Kimberlin Brown's vindictiveness to the screen. I've seen shades of it, but the giggly Phyllis ruins it. On one of the few things we disagree on, Nita, I have no problem with Phyllis - she's got new wings (earned or not). not everyone can be bad on the show at the same time, can they? Sharon/Jack: me, too, expected the ewww factor. He's my age, she's my daughter's age. But, for a rebound relationship, it's surprisingly working for me. Not a permanent thing, but it's okay for now. Colleen/Korbel: ditto what you said. He's late 20's, she's acting like 7th grade? Total UGH! Ashley/Eileen's Demise: not one of my favorite actors. I thought there was chemistry between her and JiMin. Maybe it will happen while she's in Hong Kong. JiMin seems to be scarce lately. Maybe they'll bring 'em back together. John: he's a figment of Jack's guilty imagination - that's why he doesn't see anything but Jack's failings. Billy: ditto - bad choice all the way around. I'd fire the person that hired him since TPTB are in Trump mode. Lily: Repeat Lily is speaking in lower, less whiny tones. But, Davetta Sherwood was better for the part. I saw chemistry with Daniel and both Lily's - but I think there's more with Repeat Lily. IMO. Maybe that's why she's back. Gloria: Phyllis has abdicated her badness to Gloria. She's doing a great job of making me want to wring her neck. Kuddo's to Judith Chapman. We watch them all stir the pot when they first come on Y&R, then they become "normal" - name someone except Jana who hasn't started out as a pot stirrer, okay, maybe Lauren. I've only been watching about 10 years. Jack: he SO deserves whatever bad comes his way. I like your twist that he figures Victor out and counter attacks. But in the end, Jack's gotta feel some pain. Carmen Murder Mystery: it's David Chau. Revenge, money, etc. Anyway, they've cast the part, so we know he's coming soon. Katherine: I'm having a BIG problem with this Suspended Disbelief. She FORGOT she traded babies? Your comment: yup, a blending of the past, present, and future would work for me, too. I think the new writers watched all the old shows and want to retread some old storylines and bring up loose ends to create some new avenues. A bit unsettling to long-time watchers. As always, Nita, your columns are the best!

EVE - I must be getting old, but I'm waxing nostalgic for the days when not every woman on Y&R was a slut. Remember Hope? Remember the way Mackenzie USED to be? Remember when Colleen had morals? Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware soaps have always been about romance and sex, sex and romance, but the two were once connected; and it's the connection that made it hot, hot, hot! Now we have Colleen boinking her professor and J.T. within minutes of each other; much as Victoria boinked Brad and J.T. within minutes; and Sharon boinked Nick and Brad; and on and on and on. Give us some romance first, writers, and then show us the heat! That's what keeps us coming back for more.

JUDY H - Happy New Year! This morning (Saturday) I was watching an old "Murder, She Wrote" - and lo and behold, who should appear but our own Y&R Gloria; I thought the voice sounded familiar but I had to look twice as her hair was dark brown (very flattering). I only wish the Y&R writers could have witnessed this story because our "Y&R Gloria" was killed off in the first 15 minutes (hint hint, hee, hee). If our own Gloria isn't made to pay for her crimes soon, I think I'm going to scream! Also, please let Jack be the father of Summer and let Nick & Phyllis end this farce! I agree with Nita and everyone else here that the GC characters have been so polluted that I am quickly losing interest. What incentive should we have to continue watching what used to be our favorite soap? I hope & pray that the Y&R writers read these comments on this site and straighten up or else Y&R will soon drop out of #1 place.

BETTY - I just wanted to know what TPT are going to do with Young & Restless. The ratings are going down and the show is so boring. Go back to the way you were when Bill Bell was alive. How sad that you have ruined this show. All the good actors you have let go and brought on these new ones who are terrible. Can't anyone inform these people that they are doing the viewing fans a disservice by going this route? Even the way you film is ridiculous. 1 storyline is about 2 seconds long and another comes in and you forget what was before. Come on, get real.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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