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 Two Scoops: October 9, 2006 columns
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Jerry Douglas
The haunting of Jack Abbott
by Nita
For the Week of October 9, 2006
Poor John. He's become a Peeping Tom, eagerly taking copious notes and commenting inanely while Jack paws his latest squeeze.
Make it stop. Please!!

As fond as I have always been of the glass is half full, hot pink-tinted glasses wearing, I've never met a woman who didn't pull the wool over my rheumy eyes and lead me around by my wallet John Abbott, I am now heartily sick of the sight of his ghostly presence popping up every other moment. Okay, I admit I did laugh just a little at the sight of him wedged like a sausage between Jack and Sharon. But that was mostly because of the look on Jack's face as he was tumbling out of bed. I don't blame Jack for looking a little nonplussed. Showing up at the office, the elevator, the courtroom, the beachfront hotel room, even floating unassisted in the air, is one thing. But Daddy hovering above while Jack and Sharon tend to their intimate business is a whole 'nother one. Poor John. He's become a Peeping Tom, eagerly taking copious notes and commenting inanely while Jack paws his latest squeeze. Ick, ick, ick.

Never would I have foreseen myself typing the words: "Hit the road, John, and don't you come back, no more, no more, no more, no more," but long before the Friday credits scrolled upward on my screen, I was definitely humming that tune under my breath. It was bad enough when John's ghost (or as some believe, his conscience) was able to swing that golf club and murder that vase. Every other GC ghost could only walk through walls, not affect the environment. Since he seems unaware of any dirt the rest of the GC citizens are up to, other than Jack, I had almost bought into the whole Jack's conscience thing. By the time he appeared draped in the latest chain-wear fashion, looking as if someone had dusted him with a tin of Pillsbury flour, I was ready to throw something at the TV to end the silliness. But when Victor brought in the extra-sensory perceptive 'Zappy', who immediately began whining at the ghost or conscience, or whatever John is supposed to be, I was so done, the only thing left to do was for someone to come along and stick a fork in my flesh. That Zapata has proven to be quite a dog. Not only can he sense Victor's oncoming seizures, he can tell when Jack's conscience has entered the picture. Can he pick the winning numbers on lottery tickets too?

One last thing. Maybe I was the only fan who saw it that way, but as ghostly John stared hungrily at Gloria, I thought for a moment he was about to take a nibble. I couldn't help but wonder if he would have gazed so adoringly at his beloved had he seen her setting her cap so obviously for William Bardwell. Knowing John, though, through that big blind spot in his eye the size and shape of Gloria, he would likely have gave her is blessing and blame that too on his devious son.

Of course, maybe the real reason I was in an irritable mood was because Phyllis has returned. I won't deny that a fortnight without Phyllis has been sheer heaven and though I knew she'd be back, I wasn't looking forward to seeing a return of the Phyllis in love hour. I was able to get through her reunion with Michael, despite the unappetizing sight of the food tumbling around in her half open mouth, but when she began babbling loudly at Ashley about NVP and Jabot, arms and trunk gyrating like a crazed marionette, I could only shake my head and long for her to shut her trap.

I did enjoy Sharon and Phyllis taking pot shots at each other, though. If that were real life and two women with their interwoven business and personal life situation actually had to deal somewhat civilly to one another, that is pretty close to how I'd imagine they'd talk to each other when no one else was around. It wouldn't be easy to bury the bitterness (and no, I'm not speaking from experience) of seeing another woman (with your soon to be ex-husband's baby in her belly) taking your place in a family that was once yours. Sharon's jab about pride and the fact that Phyllis needed DNA to determine Daddy might come back to haunt her, however, if the rumors are true and she turns up expecting a little bundle of her own. I know Phyllis is positively giddy with glee and girlish love, but babbling about your ob-gyn appointment to the woman whose husband you'd been doing behind her back was trademark, tacky Phyllis. Oh right, Phyllis wasn't purposely trying to pour any salt in Sharon's still open wound, no matter how she pretends it's scabbed over. She's just so in love she simply can't think straight. Uh huh.

Of course, for Sharon, the pain has only just begun. Jack might 'get' her, but she's not fooling anyone. Jack's definitely second, if not a distant third, best. He's just a salve to lessen the sting of rejection. And if Victor has his way, he will see to it that Sharon is denied even that. What garbage that was for Victor to say Jack needs to leave Sharon alone because she's going through a divorce and needs time to heal. Funny, I didn't hear double standard Daddy singing any such tune about Phyllis and Nick. Just a hearty pat on the back and a good for you m'boy for feeling a tiny twinge of regret for picking filly over Sharon. How very generous of M'boy.

For everyone who has been waiting patiently or otherwise for Jack to get his, somehow I don't think his comeuppance will be too awfully long in showing itself. He may as well go ahead and give in to Daddy's ghostly and annoying demands sooner, rather than later, and add Gloria's name to the Abbott dole list so John will stop whirling disappointedly outside of his grave. And just to save himself some time and me from having to suffer through more of John's unevenly heavy handed haunting, he might as well strike two Fisher birds in the head with one bank book and jot down Kevin's John Hancock as well. Because if John doesn't get him, now that Zapata has warned him, Victor is sure to.

From Victor's remarks, it seems as if his new friendship with Jack is about to take a turn for the unfriendly. His mind presumably becoming clearer by the moment, and because Nick has whined that Jack is constantly throwing Sharon in his face (like Phyllis flitting around plying Noah with gifts and grown up responsibility, while clinging to Nick like a sheet of Bounce isn't like a wet sheet slapping in Sharon's), Victor has now decided he'd better dig deeper into the motives Jack might have for repeatedly pelting him with kind cow pies. Sure sounds as if Victor could wind up being the new owner of Jabot.

Speaking of that secret ownership, was I the only fan who laughed myself into a near life-ending coughing fit when Ashley began mewling about how sleazy she felt after being let in on the Jabot coup secret? Was it the same kind of sleazy or ten times worse than the one she felt when she swiped Victor's swimmers? She's known about Jack's double-triple sleight of hand for what, a day, and she can hardly stand herself? Yet she felt no such prick of conscience through most of the YEARS she hid her slimy secret. As usual, for most of GC's denizens of double standards, what's good for the goose is strictly forbidden to the gander.

By the way, I found it interesting that Kay, pretending to be such a stickler for Jack doing the right thing by Gloria, had no problem looking the other way knowing Michael had come by the Raaz-Jack connection by somewhat nefarious ways. Her only concern was that the Chancellor name not be besmirched by one speck of dishonesty. Shame on you, Mrs. C. It's also funny how Michael is more in the know about Kay's Jabot divesture plans than Jill, the CEO. Who, by the way, is not just the CEO, but family. Why wouldn't Jill be sitting in on things?

Okay, Dru, you can stop screaming at Devon any time now. He's deaf, not hard of hearing. That means he's the only one in the room that can't hear and won't be able to, not even if you speak at the very top of your lungs. Everyone else can hear just fine so there's no need to shout.

Ahh, trouble looms its large, ungainly head in the Baldwin love nest. When is a mysterious gift, not a mysterious gift? When the giver advises the getter, the card was mistakenly omitted. Talk about rumors, the Sheila ones are swirling madly through cyberspace. Everything from Phyllis being Sheila in disguise, with the real Phyllis tied up somewhere pining for her Nick, to Jana of the multi-hued hair being Sheila who not only had plastic surgery but took a few dips in the fountain of youth besides. Me, I don't buy that Sheila is coming back at all. But these are strange days in new head writer times; I don't count any possibility as to absurd to be believed.

Like the fact that some say we're about to enter Search for the Reliquary, Part Two. With Victoria for and BradGeorge against. Last time it was Brad who put his family in danger. Will Danger, Part Two be Victoria's fault? If this one happens, three guesses as to whom will be spearheading the hunt. And the first two Paul and J.T. guesses don't count. And just to make it even more unbelievable, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see Colleen and Professor Pouty add their efforts to reliquary things.

Anyway, as usual, I digress. Back to the Baldwins. Soon, all thoughts of Sheila will likely be wiped from Lauren's mind, when she finds herself fighting for the lives of both herself and her wee little baby's. Apparently the shock of discovering Michael and his other immediate family's duplicity (that word was bandied about rather repetitively during the week, by the way) is said to send her prematurely on the way to giving birth.

And then there's still Carmen to contend with. Dru, never one to learn from her mistakes or anyone else's, is predicted to continue making more at Carmen's expense, of course. And just when you thought things couldn't get worse, she is supposed to be joined by Phyllis Buttinski, who even though rosy with requited love, still finds plenty of spare time to lend a hand to a sister home wrecker. Yeah, yeah, I know, Phyllis didn't really wreck Sharon's happy home. At least not single-handedly. Nick and Sharon and their respective infidelities had already done most of the damage to that marriage. Phyllis just came along in time to help Nick pick up the pieces to form them into an entirely new one.

Soon we will need to keep track of the characters and scribes with a pencil with a heavy-duty eraser attached. That's how fast and furiously bodies are being bumrushed through the revolving doors. These days, if you don't cut the mustard, and cut it quite quick, you're liable to get your first check and your pink slip in the same pay envelope.

Here we have, new Lily out, old, Valley girl Dan-yel screeching wannabe, in. It's too bad. It took me a bit to get used to the new face and direction, but I didn't find her that bad. These days, though, it's hard to know just what the scribes are looking for. Sometimes, it feels like I'm watching a confused and disorganized game of musical chairs. Where the rules change every other day.

There there's poor Billy. Nothing he said, did or pretended made me care one bit about him. His stay was so brief, I never got around to sharing a few mocking words about him. He seemed such an excruciatingly horrible mis-cast, I just didn't have the heart to. My mom always said, never kick a man when he's already on the ground writhing in scarcely bearable pain and for a change I decided to heed her sage advice.

The latest rumor to run rampant is that Judith Chapman, or Gold-digging Glo, as I like to fondly think of her, may also bid the town and her felonious sons, adieu come 2007. If so, I say yay!

And that's just the residents. From all reports, more than a few scribes have been stripped of their pens and uninvited from the set as well. Some say that's a good thing and the show is better than it's ever been. While others beg to differ rather vehemently.

Whichever camp you chose to park your bedroll in, I think most agree it's definitely not the same show it was. Under the new regime, it's certainly gained viewers. But it's also lost some. Oh well, at the end of the day, it's only a soap, after all, filled with made-up characters. If the GC antics become too much to take, there's always real life.

Okay, fans, that's my take on most things. Here's what you all had to say.

* * * * * * *


JULIE - I, too, do not care to see Sheila come back once again. She was a terrific character "in her day", but those days are long gone. Y&R has always been a classy soap, and when they keep bringing this "supposedly" dead person back time and time again, it moves them a rung or two down the soap ladder! All of the people that I talk to about this show do not want Sheila to come back. IMHO, it seems as though they are grasping at straws to give the show a kick in the pants. Well, before you bring on another mess, please clean up some of the ones that already grace our screen! The one big problem Y&R has is that it starts storylines and then just leaves them dangling. That is more frustrating than any storyline going!! I think the one big one is Paul and his child/children. And where is Paul, anyway? What a waste of a hunk. I like Jack. Always have, always will. Doesn't mean that I always agree with what he does, but if someone kicked you over and over again like Victor has done, you would be a little vindictive, too. Remember, Victor would not be so interesting if he didn't have Jack to punt around, and the same for Jack if Victor wasn't there for him to try to get back at. Thanks for giving us a forum to vent to! I love reading what other people think of the show... and to know that many times, others think the same way I do. PS...PLEASE let Michael be decent again.

LEDELL - First of all just me say, I think Jack deserves nothing and the way he talks to his father is unnerving. Yes it is true Gloria is a money grabber; however she really did love John. Sharon is a tramp. Who is really behind the House of Kim? I am ready for them to bring the old Victor back to his rare form. I hate what they done to the Abbotts. At one time these were decent people with the exception of Jack of course.

NUSH - I can't take all of this anymore! Kevin all of a sudden realized that he missed an email and oh golly it was the one where Jack emails Raaz cosmetics and whoopie they figured it out! Michael and Kevin have nothing else better to do and who are they to walk into this company and try to keep it away from the people who have been there from day 1? Oh yes, because their crazy gold-digging mother can't get a real job on her own. Please just end all of this. According to my sister, John is in Jack's conscious and that's why he's not visiting anyone else ... whatever.

LONDA - OH NO! The old Lily is coming back! WHYYYYY! I can't stand that actress' portrayal of Lily anymore, I'm so upset! I love Davetta Sherwood and I love her opposite Daniel so I may be jumping ship from Lilniel, so disappointing. Please writers, don't turn her back into that whiney girl who says Dan-yell all the time, please, please don't. Scenes with old Lily and new Colleen will be h**l, spare your viewers. I think the reason John is haunting Jack only is because it's not really John but a form of Jack's externalized guilt over disobeying his Dad's last wishes for Gloria. Hopefully she is about to be served her comeuppance over her crimes, too bad she might take her sons down with her. I'd hate to see Lauren and Michael break up on the cusp of their baby's birth or just after it even, so I hope Mikey will pull it together before he destroys the first bit of happiness he's had in a long time, otherwise ... well, there may be hope for him and Victoria after all. Cause let's face it, Vikki's man just don't love her like he loves Sharon. I am too sick of him pining away for her and not meeting his obligations to his wife. Girl drop him and move on. I love Devon's acting and hope he continues to have a juicy SL. Hope Dru comes back strong, proud, and fierce ... preferably with her loving and pragmatic Neil with her but if he's still a donkey, then solo. She deserves better. Go Victor!

SANDI - [I agree with] Trish -- bartender telling Gloria about Will's money -- I thought that same thing, but how else was it going to be written into the story? Some no name bartender telling someone he doesn't know about an athletic club member inheriting a pile of money (like that would really happen). I do think Jack is pulling a double/triple cross on Katherine and Jabot.

JUNE - In response to your reader's comments to me regarding my comments about the Brad storyline. I never said in my comments that being Jewish is a race or ethnicity. I am very well aware that being Jewish is a religion just like being Christian or Muslim. My comment was on the apparent shift in the storyline. He never explained the fact that his family was Jewish. The focus was on them being Italian aristocrats. The part about being Jewish seemed to come out later. I thought the name Kaplan was a made up name to hide their identity. I seem to recall in one episode that he referred to their last name as something different. But I could be mistaken. I am glad they changed the actress that plays his mother. She seems much more believable.

BANDY- Keep up the good work. I love reading your column. I totally agree with most if not all of your opinions of these characters. Nick and Phyllis as saints now - P-p-please! The fishers as a moral majority - P-p-please! I also really hate that even in death, John is being painted as a completely gullible, totally whipped character who is ever critical of his children whom he molded and have known a lifetime but thoroughly accepting of the devious gold-digging, deceptive leach that he brought into their lives. Keep writing! I will definitely keep reading!

THERESA - OK, why with all of Jack's yelling back to John about the House of Kim thing, hasn't anyone overheard him and sent him packing to the looney bin? Sharon came close this week, but I would think in the hallways at work, that might seem pretty strange stuff. But I have loved the acting and directing on this SL. Please let Jack actually have Jabot and see what happens anyway. You know the saying, careful what you wish for - Jack may just manage to mess up Jabot all by himself. I hear Sheila is on her way back to GC- who might she be this time? Ashley is really the ice queen of GC and Jack should NEVER have told her what was going on with House of Kim thing, because she will blow it big time for him. She'll go running off to Victor any moment and tell him the entire sordid story. She had nerve enough to tell Jack how bad it was for him to be deceptive, but at least he didn't need to steal someone's sperm to do the deal for Jabot. John should indeed be visiting other people from the beyond, but maybe he is just the manifestation of Jack's guilt. We'll see. I love Peter's acting and the humor he puts into his latest SL. Looking forward to next week.

TWANA - Oh my GOD!!! Was I the only one who saw Jack trick his own father into writing out that new will cutting Gloria out of the Abbott family fortune? Yes Kevin, Michael, & Gloria have all done some evil things but the difference between the Fisher-Baldwin contingent and the Abbott contingent is that they pay for their mistakes. Both Kevin & Michael went to jail and when the truth about Gloria came out she lost John. She worked her butt off to get him to give her another chance and maybe because he really loved her he decided to give her another chance. And is it me or was this death with the cream an unfortunate accident she did not intend for anyone to die, Jack, Ashley, Colleen,& even Billy think that just because they are Abbotts they deserve to have whatever they think should be theirs, that is not right in any world. I just cannot wait for it to be revealed what Jack did not only to his father but also to Victor his so called new friend. He basically stole not only NVP from Victor but also 250 million dollars from the man and he also robbed Katherine of the chance to sell Jabot to whom she wanted to sell the company to.

JOANNE - I was starting to get back into the show as it was nice to see they were bringing back some sanity to the characters, but after watching today's episode I cannot believe it! They are making Dru crazier than ever before by having her attack Carmen. That scene looked so stupid and uncomfortable for the actresses and so unreal. Dru would not do that. Then of course, the camcorder is still taping so it catches the whole scene for Phyllis to get her conniving, grubby hands on to ruin Dru and help her sleezy pal Carmen. This is just ridiculous. I guess the writers are going to make Dru go to jail and have Neil leave her for good and ruin the Winters family unit. I really hate Phyllis. I thought maybe the writer's were trying to make her character nicer but she is just as slimy as ever, getting pleasure out of other people's misery. Dru was upset because of Devon. Also, why was Victoria so nasty with Dru, saying she really doesn't care about her personal crisis, she has a job to do. Couldn't they have her do the interview from Genoa City? This storyline is really unrealistic. Let Dru be the strong, very sane woman that she used to be, get rid of the skank Carmen and let Phyllis have some retribution for, yet again, ruining someone's life.

PAT P - I agree with the poster Trish about all ridiculous out-of-character actions. I think this is because Lynn Marie Latham is an absolute hack who (a) should be fired, (b) never should have been hired. I don't know if it's 100% CBS/Sony/Barbara Bloom (Exec VP)'s doing; if so - that's the way it is, but if the Bells - Bill Jr., Lee Philip Bell, maybe even Brad Bell - approved Latham, they make me sick. They are disrespecting the memory of their husband/father. Bill Bell, Sr. must be rolling in his grave. I hope Y&R eventually plummets in the ratings. I only watch it to see 2 particular actors who are about 10 times better than everyone else. The show is a complete parody of what it used to be. Sad, really.

TEA - Hey, didn't Jack have an oriental son? Is he the House of Kim?

PAT - This is my first time writing. I have watched the Young and the Restless for years. Did I miss something, or was Nicholas the only one who saw the paternity results? I still think Phyllis changed the results and the baby is Jack's, which I am happier with being the father as I don't like Phyllis and Nick together, or Nick just wanted to be the father and he said he was when he wasn't.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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