As the week wore on, time and time again, I found myself reflecting on the hypocrisy and unmitigated gall of certain supercilious Genoa Citians. In fact, with so many citizens guilty of the pot and skillet syndrome, I hardly knew who to direct my digit of derision at first.
Okay, I take that back. I know exactly who to ridicule first. Although the competition was fierce, I must award top honors to one Miss Colleen Carlton. When best friend Lily ripped off the veil of secrecy and revealed the face and form of the woman who partnered J.T. in his one sofa stand, Colleen immediately had a caterwauling conniption fit. Rivers of tears cascading down her shaking cheeks, she ranted, raved and bayed about betrayal, all but tearing hanks of heavy black hair from her head. And for a second there, I almost felt sorry for her. Until I remembered how much joy she derived from inserting her manipulative body between Mac and J.T.. Oh, and pardon me for stupidly pointing out the obvious, but the way I see it, when it comes to being betrayed, Mac was the one contorting her body trying to pull the blade from her back, not Colleen. In fact, I distinctly recall her murmuring some unsympathetic sentence (with a cat ate the canary smirk on her vapid visage by the way) that went something like: gee, it's not as if he cheated on me. Now she's all, how could he do this to MEEEEE??!! Having said that, I guess no one has to guess twice to figure out who was chortling with maniacal mirth when Colleen hastened to break the bad news to dear old Dad, only to find he'd already been read the lurid headlines and had no plans to uncable his caboose from the Newman gravy train. But, getting back to the hypocrisy part. So Colleen can't understand why Daddy would want to stick by the woman who fondled some other man's forbidden fruit? Well, maybe she should flip back through the pages of her own bodice tearing romance book and re-read the chapter when J.T. went galloping up and down Anita's hills and valleys. She not only forgave him but she's still panting pathetically after that cheater to this day, isn't she? And then there is her assertion that Victoria is nothing but a fake. Hmm, we are talking about the girl who paid someone to pretend to stalk her, right? And don't think I've forgotten about that other pretense. The one where she feigned heartbreak over Daniel's supposed duplicity. Or the prank call she placed to get Kevin out of the loft so she could fake an interest in basketball in hopes of capturing J.T.'s here today, gone tomorrow attention. No, when it comes to being fake, I think the squeak of Colleen's plastic parts every time she moves makes her a clear winner. And lastly, there's the small matter of her determination to stop the wedding from coming. Funny, she's made it clear Daddy's opinion is meaningless when it comes to her pursuit of her mutt of choice, but she expects to have plenty of say in Daddy's romantic doings.
And what was the purpose of all that angst and anger anyway? It's not as if she's actually going to dismantle her mantrap and give her prey a chance to bury his bone in somebody else's yard. Let's see, what will probably happen next is about as easy to see as the nose on my face when I glare at myself in the mirror. Unable to bear being under the same roof with the man who quickly forgave the woman who sampled the fat grapes from J.T.'s vine; a delicacy she herself has repeatedly been denied though it not for lack of arranging herself seductively under his bush; wherever might a determined young maiden like Colleen hang her halters? Well, with Kevin calling the Abbott compound home sweet home, and the gardener's shack already bursting at the seams, where else is Colleen to go but the communal coed loft for misguided or unproductive adults. Yes, the same place where others women have trotted before her. To shack up with J.T., a stay which will, of course, be pronounced only temporary. But where eventually she will make a wrong turn one late night and just "happen" to wind up all tangled up in J.T.'s sweaty sheets. Am I holding my breath in anticipation? Yeah, right. If I had my pick, I'd be fanning the embers in hopes of a fire starting (oops, been there, done that) between Colleen and Kevin over a second round, or are we up to third or fourth, between her and the mutt man. It wasn't so long ago that J.T. was singing sappy love songs and pitching a tent on the landscaped lawn of the Chancellor estate all for the love of Mac. Now he's gaga and gungho about Colleen. Yawn. Wake me when he makes up his wishy-washy mind.
It's not as if Brad is a stranger to hypocrisy. He claims he prefers to keep Colleen and J.T. emotional miles apart because it might make for a somewhat strained meal to have to look at the man who once made quick love to his current wife and could now be enjoying long, languid nights of love with his daughter. Oh, but we're supposed to believe breaking bread with a woman you once shared much more than one night of amour, and who now happens to be your Ma in-law would be less of an ordeal. And what about having the same Pa in-law while married to two different daughters? Hypocrisy, my name is Brad.
When it comes to the Newman clan, certain members might want to watch their step lest they fall and injure themselves when those silver spoons stuck in their greedy, dissatisfied mouths get forced down their throats. By the way, since for some Newmans the art of betrayal seems to have become an honorable way of life, I have an idea for a word that could be engraved in elaborate script on the family's coat of arms. Betrayal. Once again the thought of opening another mortal wound in his Daddy's broad back doesn't cause Nick even one second's pause. Though he's spent more time in the last few months monitoring the ebb and flow of Phyllis' bottom line instead of Newman's, he still found Daddy's announcement that he's snatching back the reins of Newman unfair and worth fighting about. But this son who clearly isn't even half the man his father is won't stand up and fight like a man. Instead, he's hatched a diabolical takeover plot with his equally cowardly cohorts and plans to sneak up behind his father on all fours, then flatten him with a crushing blindside blow. Betrayal obviously comes very easily to Nick. By my count, he's betrayed Daddy twice, wife multiple times and didn't hesitate to shove Sis out of the way when he had the chance to stand in the CEO spotlight alone.
Nick's sister is even more disillusioned with Daddy, who shoved her as well from the Co-CEO seat when it became clear she couldn't see past the heart-shaped size of Bradley to the business at hand. Love has reduced Victoria to an empty headed paper puppet, whose strings are firmly clutched in Bradley's fists and he's easily jerking her to and fro.
As for Miss I'm a business woman now Nikki Newman, I have nothing nice to say about her either. Her pockets jingling with her share of the thirty pieces of silver, Nikki brought up the rear in this sorry trio of Judas betrayers. When cajoling didn't move her mother, Victoria knew exactly which button she'd have to press to convince her to turn her back on her husband. The one lettered in tiny, barely legible letters with a single word: Ashley. Nikki has the nerve to purse her lips and shoot sharp snippets of sarcastic words at Victor. She was glad enough for Victor's controlling business acumen when the results were fattening the wallet in her pocketbook. Without his controlling nature, she might not have had the petty cash to toss in Jabot's battered, leaking pot. And this year's hobby, NVP, would still be nothing more than a pipe dream on paper.
Brad, of course, was thrilled to be invited to get in wherever his gold-digging behind could fit in. After all, it's a win-win situation for him. He's already got the hall reserved so he can become Mrs. Victoria Newman. Now without lifting a finger, he can just sit on his spotted steed and ride while Victoria and Nick lead him into the corral marked Board of Directors. Talk about opening the door and letting a fox into the henhouse. Between the two of them, these two dolts probably couldn't produce the cells to piece together even half a brain. Victor's right. They have no business trying to run his company. He should not have simply relieved these ungrateful urchins of their CEO duty. He should have fired them on the spot.
It seems the Newmans are well acquainted with the meaning of hypocrisy as well. For instance, while I understand Nikki's displeasure at witnessing yet another episode of Victor's still cordial, hand-holding relationship with Ashley, this after he forced her to include Jabot's cosmetics on NVP's display shelves, she seems to have forgotten her own closeness with Bobby. And my memory recalls an episode a whole lot less innocent than hand holding in an office with a wide open door.
And while the Newman brats have the right to be upset at having the rug jerked from beneath their hardly working heels, how hypocritical of them to have hardly played a part in capitulating the company to its current Fortune 500 position, yet now that Daddy's done all the hard work, want to push him out and put him out to pasture. And Victoria is crying and complaining about how Daddy didn't consult her. Though I listened, I could have sworn she consulted with no one when she decided to knock Neil aside so she could promote Bradley in his place. Hypocrisy, my name is Victoria.
When it comes to Sharon, don't get me wrong, I'm truly feeling girlfriend's pain. Nothing hurts so much as being played by the person who's supposed to love and cherish you. Yes, Nick did indeed do plenty of damage with his Phyllis fling, but it's not as if Sharon hasn't stuck her share of painful pins into the marital doll too. Leaving her still alive feelings for Brad unspoken about for now, let's just use Diego as an example. Though he wound up being but a one time lay-over, as I recall it wasn't because that was the way Sharon wanted it. It was bad enough that she continued to offer her needy self to that man more than once after he told her he wasn't taking that road no more, but then she added insult to injury by hungering for him for months, watching from the sidelines as Nick began to treat him as his newest guy pal. I know time is said to be a great healer, but for Heaven's sake, nobody claimed it was an eraser! Sharon's lucky Nick isn't throwing shovels filled with all the dirt she's done right back at her.
What some of these people need most is a little control. A lonely night or two or a disappointing blip on their romantic radar and suddenly they're falling into the arms of someone other than their significant others. And they aren't able to get up, it seems, until they've violated whatever vow they were bound by, be it via legal matrimony, simple shack up or just a general understanding.
Slap! Will someone please deliver several of those to Gloria Abbott? The opposite of King Midas, obviously, this unhappy old hag won't be content until everything she's touched has turned to ashes. My husband built Jabot into the company it is today, she says. Yeah, and as his wife, it appears she plans to do everything she can to demolish it one crumbly brick at a time. And a pox on both Kevin and Michael for helping her do it. When, when when, will she have to pay!
Well, despite all the hypocrisy, back stabbing, bed hopping and finger pointing, I am definitely loving the Genoa City doings these days. My fingers are crossed that Victor figures out what his ungrateful family is up to and stops them in their tracks. This is one fan glad to see the old Victor Newman back in the saddle and galloping over everybody again.
So, what's up with Ashley and Will? I hope it turns out to be something romantic. I think I might enjoy them together.
Sightings of Phyllis were few and far between over the past week, but that's not a complaint. I'm sure she'll return this week, primed and ready for battle. As to the question of her possible pregnancy, some fans remember that Phyllis can't have children, but I remember it slightly differently. She couldn't carry Jack's baby to term and as I recall, the Doc at that time said it was unlikely she could get pregnant, but no one ever said it would be impossible. Is she about to be the recipient of a miracle? Time will tell.
While the Newmans had a nice, honest conversation for a change, even managed to find momentary forgetfulness in each other's arms, no one expects it to last. Nick still has a long hard road to travel before making it back into his wife's good graces, if he ever does.
You fans weren't shy about expressing your opinions this week, so I'll step aside to make room for all of you.
ROSEMARY - You are right on the money about Sharon! That girl is wacky. Her holier-than-thou attitude annoys me to no end! Plus, when did Victor & Nikki become such saints? I must have missed that storyline. As for Phyllis, I love her! Hope she finds real love & happiness and not with that jerk Nick. She deserves someone better! Not Jack either. As for Gloria, I applaud her for thinking "outside the jar"! She didn't mean to hurt anyone but herself--and cost Jack & Ashley tons of money. Jack is so mean to her I don't blame her for wanting to get even with him. Frankly I hope she slaps him in the face & whiney Ashley too. I think Gloria's great! Love Michael & Lauren - perfect match. Cannot stand the new Lily--the girl doesn't speak distinctly-always "baby" to another wimp-Daniel. Pool Neil. Feel sorry for him. Brad has a bad past I'll bet--maybe a murderer? As for Victoria, no one will ever replace Heather Tom. Get rid of plotting, scheming Colleen. The old one was much better & twice as pretty! J.T.'s cool, as is Kevin. Poor Kay must be getting awfully lonely in her estate! Who knows? She and Jill seem like Y&R outcasts!
ANDREA - It would make a great story if the Red Headed Floozy was pregnant but we all remember the fertility treatments that almost killed her when she was married to Jack. So, that would really put Sweep in May Sweeps. Because we all know Nick will want her to take care of it (abortion) and Phyllis will refuse.
TASIA - Nita, I love reading your Two Scoops every week. This is my first time responding but there is something that I had to comment on. First of all, I wanted to let you and the other readers to remember that Phyliss can't get pregnant - she had a hysterectomy.
KAMAL - Sharon, Sharon, Sharon. After all that, she ups and decides that the marriage is dead. She had Nick jumping through hoops, knowing full well he has no control over what happens with NVP, and when he couldn't get things done to her satisfaction (leave it to Victor to overhear a conversation and get it done with the quickness), she admonishes him his failure. Yet, she still gets the outcome she wants - Phyllis is out of NVP. And yet she is still unhappy? This is why I can't stand her. I hope she stays in Paris. Phyllis is just as bad, per usual. Again, using the poor deluded Jack to prop herself up. And what is this going back and forth between Newman and Jabot doing to her resume? I mean it can't look good, lol. Sharon and Phyllis are two of the most selfish, hypocritical women in Genoa City. But we all know Gloria takes the cake compared to those two. I can't even type all that I want to say about Gloria. If she brings down Michael (and he's stupid for letting her put him in this predicament) I will be too through. I'm glad Lauren's preggers and I hope we actually get a visit from Scott again. I liked him, they should have kept him around longer.
JANE - Love the two scoops. So funny and I also happen to share your opinions about the various characters mentioned. This was my first time visiting your site and just wanted to say thanks, it was great.
JEANNETTE - I love your column! Keep up the good work. I have a question and maybe I just missed it but what did Kevin do with the safety deposit key that he got from Tom Fisher?
JUDI - Let's see how this all plays out. I cheered to see Victor back in the saddle again. Apparently Nick has not learned from the last time he sent Daddy up the creek. If Y&R is stupid enough to try to write a Phyllis pregnancy into the show. They better do some explaining. Remember she could no longer have kids after the miscarriage with Jack. The Sharon of today is great self confident beautiful-heroine. She is probably one of the shows most transformed characters in the last year or so. Nick on the other hand is turning back into a brat--- perhaps he needs some competition for Sharon. The thought of Nick & Jack fighting over Phyllis boring. Let's face it he was sleeping with his stepfathers x wife that and she based on soap opera ages could probably be his mother. Chemistry or no chemistry stupid. It would be more fun to watch the crazy loony Phyllis again try to do away with Sharon.
MIMI - FORGET PHYLLIS AND NICK.I VOTE THAT TRASHY SHARON NEEDS TO BE OFF OF THE SHOW ALTOGETHER! SHE ALWAYS HAS DRESSED SLUTY, SLEPT AROUND OR FLIRTED AROUND BUT HAS HAD THAT HOLLY ROLLER ATTITUDE! LIKE SHE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I VOTE THAT BRAD & VICTORIA SPLIT FOREVER. HOW CAN YOU MARRY YOUR EX-stepfather, YOUR SISTER'S ''FATHER''. HOW IS SHE GOING TO INTRODUCE YOU. THIS IS MY MOTHER-SISTER? GET REAL! MORE CHARACTERS NEED TO BE ON THE SHOW. BY NOW SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE CONTRACTED SOME TYPE OF DISEASE WHERE STUFF STARTS FALLING OFF! I'M FROM THE SOUTH, BUT NOT THAT FAR DOWN SOUTH! I PERSONALLY LIKED BRAD BETTER IN HIS SPEEDO AS THE POOL BOY. VICTOR NEEDS TO PUT A SCREECHING HALT TO HIS DEVIOUS PLANS!
Marsha - I don't particularly share your view where Phyllis is concerned. I love her "what you see is what you get," spunky character. She adds just the right amount of spice to the show. Sharon, on the other hand, is very volatile and hypocritical. Her and Nick put me to sleep to be quite frank. I do, however, share you opinion about Gloria. That woman INFURIATES me with her gall. What frightens me is that she's dragging Michael and Kevin through the mud with her. They've done so much to redeem themselves! Oh well, I guess they'll learn the hard way. Hopefully, the writers will put an end to this grave injustice very soon.
JENNIFER - Am I the only one who agreed when Victor announced that he was taking back his company? With Nick paying more attention to his personal life than the office (he didn't even know that Brad had stolen Neil's account), and Victoria being brainwashed by BRAD-lee (who wants to put himself in charge), neither is fit to run Newman Enterprises. When he made the announcement, I nearly jumped up off the couch with excitement! What is up with Victoria, anyway? This one seems much less intelligent than the "old Victoria." She's so busy worrying that her dad doesn't think she's competent that she doesn't even see how incompetent her decisions have been! She just walks around all bug-eyed and half-hysterical, trying to prove herself. Brad has her right where he wants her. It makes me sick! And what's up with Nikki? I know she always sides with her kids in these situations, but she doesn't even know that Victoria is letting her relationship with Brad interfere with her work. She should get the facts before condemning Victor, don't you think? Thanks for listening!
SHANNA - I am really growing tired of Sharon's "Holier than thou" attitude!!!! She who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones - Is this a clear case of the pot calling the kettle black? Sharon, at best, has been the wishy washy, fickle hearted, scheming and cheating wife "over their 10 years of blissful marriage". How many times has Sharon had to BEG for Nick's forgiveness for her many many indiscretions (4 at the best count) including her short "disappearance and abandonment" of her husband and children. Yet... she is acting so above it all! PLEASE! Nick, grow a set and point out the obvious and quit letting this woman stomp all over you! Tell her to pack her bags or deal with this like an adult (or like Nick did the last 4 times she decided to have a fling). UGH - I am so tired of Sharon's demands and negative "I'm so betrayed" crud! If you take the "10 years of marriage and divide it by her 4 affairs, you can figure she has an affair for every 2.5 years of marriage - wow... is she coming up on her next one - Brad watch out! Man eater on the rebound!
SUZANNE - I just read your two scoops and I was wondering what it was all about Phyllis being pregnant, she try with Jack's I lost the baby and was not be able to have an other kid. I think somebody don't remember what happen before. I didn't enjoyed when Phyllis and Nick were together; remember she older at him, they don't match together, Nick's and Sharon are the only couple in the soap who stay together so long. Could do try to keep this couple together, it seem like in the real life all couple have to be separate or divorce, I was very disappointed with that story with Nick and the Old Phyllis. About what Shana said (fan comment from last column) regarding the departure of Mac's, it true she wasn't the good one for the casting same thing with Victoria, Lily, Colleen and Gloria, they are providing poor casting, I prefer the old gang. Just like Shana, I am a long time Y&R watcher (almost the first casting) and I'd not lobe to see some better casting in the next few months, I remember what happen before, don't forget Phyllis can't have kid, and yes Sharon had an affair with an other guy, but why Nick had to do the same thing but with an Older women (Phyllis), for Lily and Daniel, it's seem déjà vue with Victoria and her first husband, she ran a way a get married to. It look like the story repeat again, about Kate and Jill are they so naive they believe in Gloria story, she a dome character, and the way it's seem they believe in her. Give us a break!! and please have them bring back the OLD GANG PLEASE.
EVE - OK, I've had about all I can take of Sharon's pain and angst and "I don't know if I can ever forgive", mainly because I know, and Sharon knows, and we all know Sharon knows that what she really wants to do is boink Brad, and as long as she can keep the guilt on Nick, then she can get a free-of-guilt boink. I guesstimate they'll hit the sheets about ten minutes after Colleen opens her pouty little mouth and gives her poisoned champagne toast to Vikki. And then this whole gig of taking Victor down. In the first place, it ain't gonna happen, and we know it. Victor is indestructible, as well as maddening, self-righteous (one minute he's ranting about Phyllis being a home-wrecker, the next he's racing to save Ashley's rear one more time) and a control freak. But that's the Black Knight, and always has been. But Nick... "How many roads must a man walk down" can now officially be rewritten as "how many knives must a man stick in his daddy's back before they can call him a man." Nick, you've done it before. How about going out and getting a real job? But then that goes for the Abbott children, too, who will probably gather around the groaning board to eat muffins and OJ up until the day their father really does die, at which point -- and this is the only reason I'm able to tolerate Gloria in any way shape or form -- Gloria will boot all their little butts to the curb. I wish. Now to the younger set -- actually, Daniel & Lily are growing on me, although I've never seen teenagers yet that would prefer roast chicken and salad to a super-sized Happy Meal or at the very least a pizza! And why isn't their TV tuned to MTV all the time, like every other teen's? Why don't they even have a TV set? Why doesn't anybody on a soap? At the very least, it would be fun to watch someone on a soap watching a soap and making fun of how ridiculous the storyline is!
LAURIE - Ok, haven't we been down this road before, Newman takeover, last time it was Jack & Brad. I can't believe Nikki would actually do this to her husband, doesn't she realize she will lose the funding for NVP again. Maybe Victor will take over as CEO of Jabot and go up against his own company. I can't believe Michael is knowingly letting Jabot pay a multimillion dollar settlement when he knows full well his own mother is to blame, what happened to the new Michael, full of integrity and honesty. I would hate to see this hurt his relationship with Lauren. I really hope Gloria pays for all the damage she continues to inflict on her own husband's company (if he really is her husband). I think she is the most despicable character ever and John does not deserve anyone like her. Looks like Kevin is showing his true colors again. I'm already sick of the whole Sharon/Nick/Phyllis thing and hope it moves on quickly. Love your comments each week, you always hit the nail on the head.