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INs AND OUTs
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 Two Scoops: March 20, 2006 columns
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Michael Graziadei
Getting better by the hour?
by Nita
For the Week of March 20, 2006
Stagnating storylines have being hastily brought to an anticlimactic close.
I don't presume to speak for any of you, but wow, that was some three day week! I generally keep up with Genoa City life with pen and paper by my side, jotting down notes to help jog my memory when column time comes around. But I watched Wednesday empty handed, too afraid I might miss something important while I was scratching busily on my notepad. Like many of you, I've read the blurbs on various sites about the new brain currently toiling in the writing room. In fact, when I read about it, I remember thinking to myself something along the lines of: "Big deal, how much real difference can one more busy brain make." Well, I stand corrected because apparently it can make a heck of a lot of difference. While I can't claim with absolute certainty this new writer is the reason, something has changed because this is not the same soap it was a few short months ago. Stagnating storylines have being hastily brought to an anticlimactic close. Sheila's Shenanigans for one, although it's unfortunate her departure brought down the curtain on Scott's long-awaited stage act as well. Then, practically stepping on the backs of their heels, out the revolving door slunk a shame-faced Yolanda Hamilton while newby's lying Lily and crafty Colleen sidled in. And it now appears Mac and J.T.'s not particularly riveting romance has been tossed on the junk heap of love. And, lastly has anyone else noticed the women of our fair city are beginning to dress more like ladies of the day instead of the hot and steamy night?

But, back to my observations about the half week. Starting at the end rather than the beginning, I confess I was literally hanging off the edge of my sofa as Daniel slo-mo'd his way to the door. What a way to get caught in the act! And having Daniel as the inadvertent peeping Tom was a stroke of genius. When Phyllis' head whipped around to the sound of her son's key in the lock, you could almost feel her helpless horror at the calamity she knew was about to befall her and her illicit lover. There they reclined, still damp from their exertions, clothes scattered willy nilly about, immediately aware there was no place to run or hide, no way to pretend they'd been doing anything but the act which they'd so obviously just completed. You could almost see them shrivel in stature as Daniel stared at them in utter and complete shock and disgust. Just seconds before Nick had been matter of factly stating how he should but didn't feel much more than a pinprick of guilt for playing outside the boundaries of his marital yard. Well, I bet he's feeling pinpricks aplenty now. Because it couldn't have been pleasant watching the warming light of hero worship turn to searing contempt in Daniel's disillusioned eyes.

But I bet however badly Nick felt about his soiled sheets being dragged from the hamper and tossed in the middle of the living room floor, it was nothing compared to how I'm guessing Phyllis felt when Daniel got around to telling her what he thought of her. And boy did he hit the rusty nail square on its round little head! Mommy never thinks before she acts irrationally; like Satan has been said to do, she's spent nearly all her adult years slinking to and fro killing and destroying everything she touches. If you don't believe me, here are just a few of the highlights from her colorful, life-wrecking career. One, because of her determination to take by hook and by crook the man who belonged to another woman, Danny and Christine, and by extension, Daniel, were cheated out of the lives they could have had. But at least they lived to tell the tale. Can't say the same about poor, burned to cinders, Sasha. Two, her inept interference could have cost Damon his life and nearly cost him his freedom. And three, though no one has ever called her on it, it was the threat she once held over Daniel's head that forced him to walk away from Lily, setting into motion the events that eventually lead to Cassie's death, which in turn, fractured the Newman family in a million pieces. But Phyllis the Destroyer didn't stop there. She decimated it further when she refused to curb her carnal appetite and helped herself to Nick's forbidden fruit. And yes, it takes two to tango, but you know what, it only takes one to say, no thanks, I don't dance. And lastly, how casually she taunted Drucilla about Lily's paternity, without a care as to who might overhear. It could just have easily been Neil instead of Lily on the other side of that half-open door. As it was, whether Dru was right or wrong (okay, we know she was wrong), it wasn't Phyllis' secret to expose and because of her flapping trap, the Winters clan will never be the same.

So, all that to say I'm GLAD Daniel ripped Phyllis front to back and side to side. Daniel is the one man on which Phyllis' batted and demurely lowered eyes, breathy-voiced sexual innuendoes, faux virginal finger nibbling and flagrant sex appeal are useless. And there was little she could say in her defense. She couldn't blame it on the "L" word, unless she was spelling it l-u-s-t because that's all that could have been between them the first time her and Nick played human bump cars. And does she even mean it, when she says she and Nick are "done?" Or next time they have an opportunity will she again not be able to keep her clothes from falling from her body?

I enjoyed the entire scene tremendously; Michael and Michelle hit that one out of the park. And just think, there's still more to come. Daniel finding out the lovers secret is only the tip of the iceberg. There is still a whole lot more melting to come. Since Daniel has so far refused to talk to him, Nick got off pretty lightly. But wait until Sharon stumbles upon the truth. And you have to know that's coming. I wonder what will finally open the door and turn on the light in the attic for her? Will it be Nick and Phyllis' matched set of monkey trios that gives her a clue? Will she catch them standing too close for casual conversation? When taking Nick's suit coat to the cleaners will she find that hotel room key that perhaps he inadvertently kept? Ahh, I'm hurting my brain trying to figure it all out. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Another pairing on which I'll have to take a wait and wonder stance is, of course the union made up of Bradley and Victoria. Or will it soon be Victoria and J.T.? Or J.T. and Colleen? Well, it's for sure it won't be J.T. and Mac; that listing liner has sank beneath the surface with barely a bubble. And as we all know, J.T. didn't even bow his head in a moment of quiet mourning before immediately moving on. And while he hasn't quite forgotten Victoria, judging strictly by the number of reasons he's come up with to catch a glimpse of her face, it hasn't kept him from accepting a date with calculating Colleen. Although her face and form has been altered, there's one thing about Colleen which has never wavered. Her determination to be the hunter instead of the prey. It's presumed she only barely managed to stop herself from doing backflips and somersaults in the middle of the Crimson Lights floor when J.T. told her he had just split the bedroom sheets with Mac. And it's lucky she wasn't immediately struck by lightning so blatant was her lie that she was sorry to hear it. So she's glad to see the old J.T. has returned, huh? She's just another in a long line who aren't careful for what they wish. Has she forgotten it was the old J.T. who cheated on her with Brittany's mother? While he was allegedly madly infatuated with her? Does she not see a sort of pattern with his latest instance of unfaithfulness? Has Mommy never told her, once a cheater always a cheater? I suppose it's witless for me to wonder whether she'd change her tune were she to learn it was Victoria her tarnished knight slipped and fell with atop her sofa cushions. Because as desperate as Colleen is to have J.T., I have a feeling she wouldn't care if he slept with 10 Victoria's and their Momma's and sisters too, as long as she got equal time to stroke his ... ego. When it comes to J.T., the girl is like a hungry vulture circling in the sky above a piece of putrefying flesh. His break with Mac is less than 12 hours old, and she's already swooping down to pick at his carcass. Poor Colleen, her desperation reminds me somewhat of her Mother's. And while I'm poking fun at others for their careless wishes, perhaps I should pause for a moment to poke at myself for not heeding my own advice. Because I remember the days I used to moan and groan about how old Colleen's syrupy sweetness made my teeth ache and my tummy twist. Well, I certainly don't have to worry about that with this one. She comes across as cold, calculating and spiteful, mostly hard abrasive edges with few soft curves. But that's just my biased opinion, you may not agree. As for J.T., in whose arms will this man in demand eventually wind up? Though I often wonder why, the hungry women of GC have never let him remain footloose and fancy free for long. And he tends to just follow the path of least resistance; the one which leads to the first woman quick enough to bait her trap.

But, anyway, I was supposed to be talking about Victoria, so back I go. I love him, I love him not, I love him after all. But now that Brad can paste a face and lanky body on Victoria's one-night stand, will he love her back? Or will he go back to loving Sharon? Who will soon stop loving Nick when she finds out who he's been loving. Which will leave Nick free to love Phyllis who can then stop pretending to love Jack, who will then have, well, no one to love. Without Brad to love, will Victoria bury herself in business? Or in J.T.? And then who will Colleen have to love? Kevin? Don't say it can't be so, fans, because we've seen that in this town, strange and stranger things have been known to happen. After all, unless she's changed a lot, Mac takes a long time to get over heartbreak, so unfortunately she probably won't be up to loving Kevin. Okay, so a Kevin-Colleen couple-up is extremely unlikely. As is probably one comprised of Victoria and J.T.. I'm guessing Brad may eventually forgive, but he isn't likely to forget. I guess it just depends on how bad he wants to be a Newman.

Dr. Olivia Winters. Paging Dr. Winters. Could you please report to your brother-in-law's apartment? Because it appears he's in need of a strong sedative to settle him down. So incensed is Neil to have lost complete control of his little girl (yes, I know some would say he never had it), he's resorted to overly drastic measures, which are still not likely to rein her in. He's dragging in a family court Judge in hopes he or she can do what all his efforts have failed to. Force his daughter from the arms of Daniel and back behind the locked gate of a prison, I mean high school, in New Hampshire for the few months that remain until her 18th birthday. I found it amusing that though the Winters parents should know there's only two places in town Genoa City folk frequent, when scouring the city, neither thought to check either of them. If they had, they might have spotted their sullen seed at the Athletic Club where she was cozily ensconced in a leather armchair. Said daughter, biting and snapping viciously at the four hands that have fed and pampered her throughout her rebellious life, has all but denounced her parents, transferring all her love and allegiance instead to her not yet 18 himself boyfriend. Her suitcase at the ready, her pilfered passport in her wallet, nestled next to all the money her indulgent parents had presumably previously placed at her ATM disposal, Lily is prepared to make her own way in this cold, uncaring world, with only the man she loves by her side. So what will these high school dropouts do next and what is their plan for survival? With their combined work experience consisting of a one day stint in fruit suits peddling smoothies on a California beach, somehow I doubt prospective employers will be lining up three deep to add them to the payroll. But once they are finally on their own, will Daniel and Lily be able to elude parental capture until they turn 18? If they do, will their love stand the test of time and familiarity? I guess we shall see.

While I'm on the subject of troubled times in fractured families, what is the matter with the Abbott children? Are they really as dumb as they act? How short their memories are. How quickly they've forgotten how much trouble Gloria can cause. I don't know how they could have; after all we've heard them moan many millions of times how Gloria has destroyed their family. Yet they seem to be going out of their way, especially Jack, to antagonize her. But I shouldn't be at all surprised. Jack has a history of never thinking his actions through. As for Mrs. John Abbott, she's not the brightest bulb in the pack of lights either. Oh how I love thee, John, let me count the ways. One. I'll ruin one or both of your children, inadvertently hurting or destroying your company. Yep, the same company that's keeping her in credit card heaven. Whew. Talk about biting off your nose to spite your hateful face. Although I confess I couldn't help but laugh when Gloria was meeting with her two "role models." Because she made a valid point. Her current situation really is not much different than the women she admires. Nikki did use her millions to bribe her way into Jabot. And if I remember rightly, like Gloria she was equally as inexperienced. I recall her hauling out a laptop and reading everything she could get her hands on about Jabot. As for her hands on experience, it came only after Jabot made sure her check cleared. And I had forgotten Kay got Chancellor by marriage and murder. Okay, she didn't actually murder Phillip, but he died just the same and it was more her fault than his. Ah well, the Abbott children should have thought twice before poking this black widow spider with their pointed sticks. Because obviously, they seriously underestimated the amount of venom she would spew.

Fan Becky, posed the following question: "What DO you like about Y&R?

Well, she asked, so here's my answer.

As I've mentioned several times in this space, despite the sarcastic slant I choose to place on my weekly take on this show, I don't want anyone to get it twisted. (Yes, I think I might have borrowed that line from Dru). I love everything about this show. Don't be fooled into thinking I don't just because I like to poke fun at the hypocrisy of certain residents. For instance, Phyllis, Lily and Daniel's recent positions slightly above Dru, the better to stare down their snouts at her for the secrets she's kept, when each one of them have rattling skeletons of their own still hidden in their closets. Phyllis, the mistress with a heart is sleeping with another woman's husband practically every time she lays lustful eyes on him, while pretending to be a Newman family friend, helping herself to Sharon's culinary creations on the table, and to her husband on the side. And while I agree they are like chemical combustion together, with all the dirt in her own house, Phyllis should think twice before handing Dru a broom and telling her to sweep up her mess. As for Lily, this young lady has lied since she returned SORASED to the City, first about Kevin and now about Daniel. Speaking of Daniel, while he is definitely the lesser of the three evils or the least of the liars, Mr. Honesty still hasn't revealed his secret, that he was the brain behind Lily's elevator assault.

Anyway, except for a couple of VCR malfunctions, I haven't missed a single episode of this show since about 1985. Fast forward is just a button on my remote that I eye longingly from time to time but rarely resort to. Okay, I did speed through a few of Sheila's little talks with herself and I've never been able to abide anyone's warbling; not Danny, Tracy, Lauren, John, Gina or J.T.. So unless there's some significant facial expression that might be important to the ongoing story, I do hurry as fast as I can past anyone attempting to serenade the object of their affection, and through my digital signal, yours truly. If I want music, I'll turn on Digital Music Choice's Smooth Jazz.

So like I said, Y&R is number one in my book. They are the most realistic; well except for that whole sperm stealing thing, the Cameron Kirsten body dragging and moving thing and most notably, the case of the orchid that wouldn't die. For the most part, the make believe citizens of GC often do and act the way real people might. Unlike other shows that shall remain unnamed, people don't leap from their graves and return to the land of the living, none the worse for wear after being buried six feet under. Although I admit I still wish Ryan McNeal, Tony Viscodi, Phillip Chancellor II and Rex Sterling could.

But back to what I like. Just off the top of my head, I adore anything to do with Kevin and Michael and find them both so talented, I can enjoy even their most mundane conversations. Michael and Lauren together are another favorite and I'm hoping they get another front burner storyline, this time sans Sheila. Victor and Nikki are two more of my favorites, though for some time now Victor has been but a shadow of his old self. But my fingers are crossed, toes, too, that all of that is about to change. I've always enjoyed watching Katherine Chancellor, although she's been much underused as of late; she can do so much more than dish out advice to the lovestuck. There's plenty more that I enjoy and appreciate, but suffice it to say that in my opinion, Y&R is the best on Daytime and better than a lot of the Prime time fare. And if I didn't absolutely adore this show, I'd never sacrifice a chunk of my limited free time to share my weekly opinions with all of you.

Before I take my leave and turn it over to the faithful fans, here are some questions to ponder:

Business: Is Jack right about the NVP Retreats? Even with Victor ably at the helm, will they float or sink like stones? Speaking of the Ruthless one, will he ever snatch back the reins of his company? With Nick consumed with Phyllis and Victoria bedazzled by Brad, would they even notice if he did? Or will Victor set his sights on Abby's legacy instead? Speaking of Jabot and Newman, the head bulls of each are pawing the ground in preparation of another bitter battle. Clash of the Titans revisited. I can hardly wait.

Personal: Will Kyle ever come back to town so Jack will have someone to love? What about Scott? Is he gone? Is he ever coming back? Couldn't someone at least have told us in passing they'd told him so long in private? Will Phyllis and Nick ever be able to hear their "do it" music and not rush into one another's arms? Would they still do it even if their music wasn't played? What will Sharon do when she gets a whiff of who her husband's been doing? Will Kevin have to wait as long as his brother Michel before he gets a normal relationship? Will Mac eventually be his baby or is she already halfway though the dreaded revolving door now that Colleen is back on the canvas? Does this mean J.T. is going to be dragging out that darn guitar again to sing some more of those sappy love songs? Will he ever haul out a dictionary and memorize the meaning of faithful? Will Ashley ever get to sample Mary Williams' sauerkraut and ribs?

Okay, fans, I'm stepping aside now to let you have your turns.

* * * * * * *


TREY - Hey Nita, just wanted to say I love your column. I had to comment on the statement made by Louise, on your two scoops. She called the new Lily too "streetwise". Was she trying to call her too black or ghetto? As an African American I have to say that the new Lily happens to just be more believable and real as Neil and Dru's daughter. The original Lily, I'm sorry to say was simply too fair-skinned and rather unbelievable as these two African Americans daughter. She looked damn near white. Now I'm fully aware that it's a trademark in television for them to cast African Americans that look whitened, buts its important to honor those who are indeed African American, without green eyes or blonde streaks or even straight hair. I love the new Lily. She's definitely more real and believable. And I hope others come to terms with the fact that most African Americans look and talk and act the way the new Lily does.

GENE - Mac is the most boring and self-righteous character on so far. I just don't see her and J.T. lasting anytime soon and I am glad that they are over soon. It didn't work and the character in times is not working. I glad that Jeanne mention how boring it is to be a counsel to boring Mac. I want Katherine and Jill to have a s/l on their won and not being Mac's counsel. I think that Neil and Dru need to make Lily make her own choices in her life and stop trying to at like they are perfect. They both did some questionable things in their lives and don't need to judge Daniel about his mistakes, also. Neil could have been on the same line as Daniel because when Malcolm was supposing was dead, he was on a drinking bender and he was going to drive home drunk. He could have killed himself or someone else and been the same position Daniel was facing. He is making up for drinking and instead of trying to keep them apart, talk to both of them like adults and see if Daniel change. Lily should have tell her parents that she is still seeing Daniel and she is about to turn 18 and she can make her own decisions. I think Dru have made her bed and now must lie in it. She should have told Neil the truth when it happen so the whole thing could have be resolve. Now she throwing stones at Daniel and everyone who isn't perfect and now the truth about her is about to come out. I also don't the Brad and Victoria pairing because I didn't feel the connection between the couple. He almost married her mother. That is eek of itself and admitted having feelings for her sister-in-law. He has an agenda for Victoria and Victor and Nikki saw something about Brad. I am glad that Victor is now front-and-center again. The show lost its footing not putting Victor and Eric Braeden front and center. Eric is the show now and it is going to be good again to see Victor take Brad, Jack and anyone who crosses him may wish they didn't. I am also sad to see John go to jail for doing a favor of killing that slime ball (Like the actor). He is the heart and soul of Y&R and will be miss. Hope that the show would bring he back. Jack is getting on my last nerves. He act like his is God's gift to everything and everyone must bow down for him. I hope Gloria bring him to his knees and wish that he didn't mess with her. I like Nick and Phyllis. They bring something to each other that he didn't have with Sharon. I think Nick and Sharon will eventually will wound back to each other, but let them have fun with different people.

SANDI - Kudos to Daniel! and he even used the ASHAMED word. Boy, what a difference getting caught makes! Nick was ready to throw away his marriage and family for Ole Red one week, broke up with Ole Red the next, back in sack (or couch) the next week. Like I told you a while back - it is all about SEX with those two. Daniel had more together throwing it in his mother's face than either Nick or Phyllis did - yes, what about Sharon, Noah, and Daniel for that matter. And he even used the C word - Christine and how she and he Dad warned him about his mother. Boy, he pulled out all the stops on telling his mother off. She didn't look so good (better than I do when crying). Wait until Sharon finds out and her world comes crashing down like she did to Brad and Victoria about J.T.. Oh, everyone is on Daniel's hair - I like it better than J.T.'s hair - how old is J.T. and his hair looks like a little boy's hair that he doesn't comb.

DR. SOAPS - A couple of barg bargs and a lot of laughter is what this Doctor experienced this week. After being able to watch the show for the last week, I have caught up thanks to the daily recaps, and Nita's Fantastic Commentary - passionate and amusing. As secrets begin to unravel, my sympathies went to Daniel, who had the unfortunate experience of seeing his mother naked with a married man. Imagine what he is going through. Phyllis and Nick deserve to get into trouble, but it is his own mom he has to tell on, coaching basketball is the least of his worries. And of course, Lily, on the other end, who is trying to save a relationship while her father is trying to get her in JAIL (juvenile detention). Is it just me or are we a little extreme? Sometimes parents do weird things. I am wondering when Sharon and Jack find out about the fling that has been steaming under their noses ... Jack-o-lantern will do his typical red in the face "I am so mad at you so I will start yelling" expression. But Sharon, hehehehe, crying maybe? Now all we need is Phyllis to get pregnant. Woo! Wouldn't that cause some drama! J.T. and Victoria? Definitely NOT cool. I am disappointed in both. An avid fan of Mac and J.T., this totally broke my heart. And when Colleen uses her newfound information, and dangles it in Mac face, Mac is going to be crushed. We can already see the effects this is having on Brad. Despite my initial anger toward him with treating Victoria like a child, I feel Victoria is not prepared to handle this relationship, and not mature enough to recognize that she not only corrupted her own relationship, but she destroyed another (Mac and J.T.). J.T. is most definitely at fault here, but Vicki is the adult. I hope Nick gets punished, although I enjoyed the passionate affair of the 2 lovers. And Y&R ends off with a bang?! Maybe more like some steam!

FAITH - I hated the storyline when they convicted John Abbott of murder; that storyline doesn't make any sense! Why would you plead guilty and get the maximum sentence? He would have had a much better chance of getting off on the charges if he went to trial. I know, I know, he was trying to save "poor" Ashley. It is ironic that she ended up sending him to jail instead of saving him, like the martyr she is! Genoa City doesn't seem to have a forensics division that should have proved the shooting was an accident. Genoa City has a knack of convicting innocent people and letting guilty people off. I do like the Gloria Abbott storyline. Jack is making me so mad with his treatment of Gloria! I am not a huge fan of Gloria, I have my pet peeves with her, but I hated the way Jack treats her. Jack and Ashley can be such spoiled little brats! I want Gloria to stick it to him! Jack was blaming Michael and Kevin for his father's conviction, but he couldn't blame poor, sweet Ashley! I loved it when Gloria told him it was Ashley's fault. He has such a double standard that Gloria is not allowed to drag his family into the blame game, but he loves to drag her family into it. Sharon has become the stupidest woman that ever lived! She has still not figured anything out! I used to like Sharon in the beginning when she was new on the show. She likes to live in a dream world. I loved how Daniel reamed out his mother. She really needed that. He is much more mature than she is. I hate how Drucilla and Neil hate Daniel so much; they have never given him a chance. They still blame him for Cassie's death! The only thing he did wrong that night was drink too much alcohol. isn't Neil an alcoholic? At least Daniel is young and a teenager (and it happened once), but Neil was an adult. Neil did some really dumb things when he was drunk. I know, I know, the real issue is they don't want their little girl to grow up. They don't seem to realize that obsessing over Daniel and forcing her to stay away only brings them together more! They have never taught her anything about dating and boys; they treat her like a four year old. Remember when Lily had already had sex before Dru decided it was time to have the "sex talk?" It was a bit late. I can't believe they are letting Mac go. I didn't like the recast from the beginning because the character is so different from the Mackenzie character. That doesn't mean it is the actress' fault. The fact that they had Mac sleep with J.T. so eagerly and pine over him was always so out of character. Mackenzie always had confidence in herself and had strong convictions.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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