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 Two Scoops: October 10, 2005 columns
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Kristoff St. John
Neil who?
by Nita
For the Week of October 10, 2005
Poor Neil. He's left the building and nobody even noticed.
Poor Neil. He's left the building and nobody even noticed. Apparently, as far as Victoria is concerned, whatever Neil used to do, Brad can do much better. What I want to know is who is running the rest of Newman? Because near as I can tell, the CEO hasn't concerned herself with any un-Seasonal matters since she took over. And what, pray tell, makes Brad all that, plus a bag of chips and party dip anyway? Was he named Astute Business Boy of the Year when I wasn't looking? Now if they were handing out a little gilded groom for the Man Who Makes The Most Advantageous Marriages, well, Brad would win that trophy easily. Of course in my opinion, he more richly deserves to be crowned Opportunistic Executive Least Likely to be Trusted. I still remember and despise him for encouraging Damon to practically seduce his then brother in law's lady so Brad could get the inside track to Newman information. As far as business decisions are concerned, one of his dumbest ideas was to create new passwords and lock Victor out of Jabot's computer. I'm not any more impressed with his parental skills either. This is a man who was content to let another man raise his bio daughter yet is sticking like glue to his adopted daughter. Of course, I'm sure the fact that Abby's a future Newman heiress has nothing to do with that! And finally, there's the fact that I don't see him running for his life away from a romance with his daughter's half-sister nor is he doing anything to avoid the heat aimed at him from the direction of his daughter's half-sister-in-law.

For Brad, being involved with Victoria must seem a little bit like deja vu. The personalities change, but the basic premise remains the same. What is it with him and his penchant for getting involved with his employers' daughters? Remember the introverted daughter of his pre-Genoa City days? The one who kidnapped him and kept him in a cage? Which, come to think about it, is exactly where you'd keep a pet you paid good money for. Then he was hired to tend John's outdoor flowers, but it wasn't long before that tender loving care was being lavished on one of John's insecure hothouse blooms. And who could ever forget his relentless "When Will You Say Yes" campaign directed at John's American Beauty, Ashley? Now he works for Newman and Victor's daughter is the one in his sights. Not that he's any great shakes in the marital department. Cassandra could tell you that if she hadn't died before the man she drugged into matrimony could divorce her. Needless to say, while Brad hadn't intended to remain married to her had she lived, funnily enough, he wasn't the least bit squeamish about keeping all her money when she didn't. And it's a good thing Victoria doesn't have a best friend, or given the right circumstances, Brad might grant her one night of ecstasy. Do sister-in-laws qualify? Given the number of crossed out names in Brad's little black book, if he was a woman, we'd be calling him a particularly nasty name that begins with a w and ends with an e. You fill in the blanks.

But I started out talking about Neil, so perhaps I should return there. Though we haven't heard any further complaints from him, I doubt he's feeling any better about being left stockless. Especially since this isn't the first time a Newman has treated him shabbily. Though he naturally didn't like it, he could hardly complain very loudly when Victor snatched off his temporary CEO hat and settled it on son Nick's head instead. After all, Neil knew his rein was liable to be short-lived and Nick was a Newman, after all. But Brad is no Newman, not yet anyway, and being passed over for someone like him isn't going to be nearly so easy for Neil to swallow. Somehow I don't think he will be feeling much like grinning and bearing it. Setting a sober example for Yolanda isn't expected to eat up much of his day, so Neil should have plenty of time to cast his eyes in other executive directions. Given the examples set by other job hoppers, can there really be much doubt as to where Neil will eventually wind up? Most likely at Jabot, where he can be in direction competition with his Newman working wife. Which should cause the expected amount of friction in their marriage. On top of that, Genoa City is known far and wide for its miraculous 30-day recovery substance abuse programs. So that means Yolanda is likely nearing the end of her stay. Will she return to the park and her vermin-infested blankets beneath a bush? Of course not. Devon will want her to be a whole lot closer than that. As in Lily's old room, perhaps. Two women under the same roof, with one of them named Drucilla? Hmm, doesn't sound like the ingredients to make a harmonious home. Neil has been an ever-loyal mate up to now. Could there possibly be an infidelity in the Winters' marital future?

On a side, but related note, is it humanely possible to please Devon Hamilton? For months he's whined about how much he wants his mother to get help. Why won't somebody please help my mother, he's cried to all and sundry. And finally, somebody has. She's in rehab, albeit, somewhat shakily, but is he happy? Noooo. Now he's upset because she may be there more for him than herself. Devon, just be glad she's doing it at all.

Watching the GC residents motor back and forth across the miles, you would never guess gas prices these days are uncharacteristically high. Of course, they are the Newmans and the Abbotts so it's not as if they actually have to budget their gas allowance. But I did find it amusing that though she had only just arrived at the office, Nick had no problem demanding his sister return home to meet with him. I'm confused. Wasn't Noah at school? And since he didn't have anything else to do, why couldn't Nick have driven in to see his sister?

As it turned out, the little Nick needed to say could have easily been recited over the phone. Armed with only half of the Sharon supplied stock story (if she was so determined to be the bearer of bad stock swap news, she ought to at least have gotten her facts straight, unless she was purposely trying to stoke the banked embers of Victoria and Nick's sibling rivalry into a devastating blaze), Nick mostly wound up cautioning his sister to protect her back from incoming Brad bayonets. Though given the amorous designs his wife has on the man in question, he'd do better to keep an eye on his own. But while Nick can see clearly enough to warn his sister about Brad's possible untrustworthiness, his vision is still completely clouded when he looks at his wife. By the end of the week, however, it looked like Nick might finally be about to start paying closer attention to his mate, although he may find it's too little too late.

Having never fully forgotten the sharp sting of rejection at being passed over for her sister-in-law by Diego, Sharon is determined history is not going to repeat itself with Brad. Subtlety, however, is not her strong suit. Could she have been any more obvious in warning Victoria about the propriety of a boss playing touchy-feely with her subordinate? How thoughtful of her to be so concerned that single Victoria might become the subject of catty water cooler conversation for her unseemly acting-CEO-like behavior with married, though separated Brad. It would be terrible, so Sharon says, if even one person suspected Brad of sleeping his way to the top. But I can come up with an even juicer chunk for corporate devouring. The rumor that the very married real CEO's wife is doing everything she can think of to entwine her limbs with Brad. Tell me, which gossipy tidbit would you find more worthy of spreading?

Perhaps Victoria should save herself the trouble of conducting spokesmouth interviews and just place the position on a silver platter and hand it to Sharon. Obviously, with Vikki in charge, baring her boobs, squishing herself into dresses one size too small, or parading about in sexy lingerie, either at home or in the office will do Sharon no good at all. So instead she's had to use other methods to achieve her ends. Like convincing the men in her life to plead her case for her. And I am willing to wager my next month's rent, she'll get exactly what she's angling for. Brad is more than willing to speak up on her behalf, despite Victoria's obvious jealousy-fueled reluctance, because Sharon has made it clear she's aligned herself with all of his views. And even though the only tone she's felt like using with her husband lately has been a surly one, butter could have melted in her mouth recently as she pretended their romantic dinner wasn't the place she wanted to air her spokesperson woes. After all, the self-centered way Sharon probably sees it, her husband was responsible for purchasing her last spokesperson position, so why shouldn't his say-so buy her this one? I can't help but wonder, however, whether Nick will live to regret pushing his wife into a position so easily accessible by Brad. Even Dru rated a little Sharon schmoozing. Who will she turn to next? Victor? Acting CEO or not, with everyone aligned against her, Victoria probably doesn't stand a chance on this one.

By the way, if Victoria doesn't find a way to show a little love for her test tube half-sister, being outvoted on Newman's new spokesperson position isn't going to be the only thing war of wills she could lose. She could also come in last in the race for the Brad prize. Remember, Abby is a regular little Einstein. If she hasn't figured it out already, she will probably soon realize big sister doesn't like her or her Mommy. And I'm guessing she isn't liable to be doing happy handstands of joy to know Daddy's dating her sister.

Why must Sharon always bring up her marital dissatisfaction in every conversation with Brad? It's not like Nick is preoccupied with work or other women. He's grieving her daughter, for goodness sake and taking care of her son. Yes, I know both were and are his too. But it's a heck of a lot more than Sharon's doing. Which brings to mind the question I voted funniest of the week. In wondering how Sharon could get away at a moment's notice to accompany him to Chicago, Brad asked Sharon "what about Noah?" Given the little time she's spent with her son lately, a more appropriate reply from her should have been "Who?" Funny, she pays little attention to her son, but let little Abby bound into the room, and Sharon instantly becomes Super Mom.

So, since father and son would be busy bonding, when the latter wasn't at school or bonding with another school boy, Sharon had nothing but time to jaunt off to Chicago with Brad. Where she proceeded to let her light shine about Seasons and Nature's other products, or whatever that name was they came up with. And though it's October, since Sharon wasn't going to have to leave the warm, cozy air of the jet, she busted out (yes, literally) in a picnic tablecloth inspired dress. And I know I'm not the only fan who had thoughts along those lines. Fan Trish below said it much better than I could. So, do you think she went shopping and pick that little number out special? Did she find it on the "perfect for a business meeting on a jet" rack? Or did she just happen to have it hanging in her closet at the office? Does she even have an office or does she just wander in and out of everyone else's? Well, wherever she found it, with Sharon, everything always comes down to her motto: If you've got it, flaunt it every single chance you get.

And flaunting it was certainly enough to impress those Chicago editors. I guess they must be too busy to keep up with the corporate pages from Genoa City's small time rag. Otherwise, they might have remembered that not so long ago, the woman who was now singing the praises of Seasons and Nature was swearing Jabot carried the only products good enough to be slathered on her silky skin. Yes, Sharon believes passionately in the Newman line. This month anyway. So, now that Newman products are Sharon's new cosmetics of choice, what did she do with all those Jabot jars and tubes of goop she used to rave over?

Moving on to other matters, I know many fans will never feel Kevin is owed any happiness, but I would like to see how he handles a healthy love relationship, one where the object of his desire isn't barely out of diapers nor on the road to Depends. With nobody else in the City near his age, Mac, is, of course, an obvious choice. I know she's J.T.'s girl, but in my opinion, she's so much easier to take when she's with Kevin, or almost anyone other than J.T.. With Kevin she acts natural and age appropriate, which is a welcome change from the juvenile way she behaves with J.T.. It's particularly grating now that she's completely shed her constricting moral cocoon. It's official. The private girl who once swore to wait till marriage is now completely comfortable sleeping around without benefit of even an engagement, and what's more, couldn't care less who knows it. But she is still, in my opinion, the most boring babe to hop a ride on the J.T. express.

Elsewhere in the Mansion, baby Joshua is positively affecting all of the residents. Jill, once complaining at the top of her lungs about the solitude and silence Joshua's presence was preventing now stays home from work seeking the very things she claimed were no longer there. And Joshua's soft, baby powdered scent has so softened Kay she has finally apologized to her daughter for her decades old determination to separate not only son from mother, but also Jill from Katherine's husband. I found it a very touching and thoroughly enjoyable moment between the two.

Phyllis and Jill had a meeting of the minds as well, though their conversation was just a little odd. But obviously, it proves there's about to be something rotten in Denmark. Or at least at the airport where Brittany is expected to take her leave. Of course, we all know Brittany is not due to depart quite yet, so though the sad so longs have been said, this is obviously only a dress rehearsal with the real parting scheduled to take place sometime in the future.

The plot thickens considerably when we turn to the fractured fable unfolding on the pages of Scott's manuscript. So Sheila finds reciting her fantasy cathartic? How can telling a pack of lies do her any good? And according to Scott, Sheila's just like the Phoenix. Miraculously risen from the ashes, huh? Oh yeah, she's risen from some ashes all right. The ashes that drifted up from the fires of the hot place. At this point, I have to ask. Do the hairs on the back of Scott's neck never prickle with suspicion? When is he going to smell something rancid in Sheila's perfume? (I agree with you, fan, Dawn) To echo something Devon once said, does a house have to fall on Scott's head to make him notice something strange and smelly in Sheila's flip-flopping reactions to anything Lauren? It's bad enough he keeps scooping up every shovel of that donkey dung she calls her autobiography from the hard motel room carpet, but even a trusting idiot like him should see something very wrong about her comments about his mother. And does he not find it odd that though she has absolutely nothing to do except sit around and wait for him to show up at her door, she refuses every invitation to meet his mother?

And what about Lauren? How curious that the woman who could have inspired the phrase" curiosity killed the feline" appears to have absolutely none about her son's mysterious writing partner. This lack of interest from a woman who dug until she'd fully uncovered the coming existence of the baby boy Paul always claimed he wanted desperately, then immediately deserted when he finally got him. If he isn't a good example for people to be sure of what they want before they wish upon a star for it, I don't know who would be. I know, this isn't about Paul, but I couldn't help myself. My fingers got away from me. Anyway, I guess Tom so frightened Lauren, she decided she'd rather not delivery Brenda's date book in person after all. I can only assume Lauren's simply sidetracked by her upcoming nuptials and her intended's preoccupation with Tom and isn't quite her usual nosy self.

Unfortunately, Lauren's uncharacteristic inattention is going to cost her. Sheila's poison is already seeping into her system through Scott's gift of a necklace and it promises to be a good long time before any connection is made. The wedding is not that far off. Will it have to be postponed due to Lauren's inexplicable illness? It's just too bad some poison didn't seep into Sheila's skin. Then she'd be dead and we wouldn't be suffering. By the way, when Sheila donned her Jennifer disguise in order to see for herself Scott placing the necklace of death around his mother's neck, I noticed she didn't bother with the plaster nose and chin. And even though she was down to just wig and mouthpiece, still not even the slightest bit of recognition dawned in Michael's eyes. And Jennifer's eavesdropping gave her one more reason besides Lauren's imminent elimination to rejoice. That she was innocent of the murder of Taylor Forrester (from Bold & Beautiful for those who don't watch), who herself was able to rise like a Phoenix from the cold, uncaring grave. Of course, while Sheila was doing her little jig of joy, I was scratching my head in confusion. For what good is it to be absolved of one murder only to be charged with another? Just another example, I guess, of Sheila's twisted thinking and her belief that she can't be caught. Oh who are we kidding? Lauren is NOT going to die!

Do you suppose Tom will ever tire of picking his posterior off the pavement after being knocked there by some previously civilized Genoa Citian? This time it was John "Iron Fist" Abbott who sent him down for the ten count. Why that John is becoming a regular Mike Tyson with his sneaky, sucker punches to unaware aging warriors. We know Victor has proven countless times he's able to whip men half his age with ease, practically with one hand tied behind him, so we knew it was only respect for the very elderly (along with the knowledge that a blow in return could very well have caused John's demise) that kept his fists balled tightly at his side when John gave him a piece of his mind along with his fist. And while we believe Tom is quite capable of defending himself (though it's our understanding he prefers pint-size opponents) given his desire to entice Ashley further into his life, there was never a chance he would strike back. So both men allowed John a courtesy punch.

Of course Tom is not likely to feel nearly so kindly toward any of his Genoa City enemies when he realizes one or more of them have set him up to take a fall. And with Sheila beside him to fan the flames of his wrath, things could get quite nasty indeed. If he believes Michael is the culprit, he could willingly throw himself into Sheila's plan. Michael and Ashley should have known better. Just because it worked when Matt Clark did it to Nick doesn't mean it will work for them. All they're likely to get with their little drug planting scheme is Tom's extreme antagonism. And since every plot Michael has put into motion against Tom has failed dismally, my hopes are dim that this one will be the charm.

You know, I almost (but then I caught myself) liked Tom for refusing Sheila's demand he repay her tit with his tat by finding her the poison she wanted. Although he should be jumping at her suggestion he get a room of his own. He already knows too much about her dastardly machinations. Perhaps he ought to get out while he's still able, because Sheila would do away with him without a second's thought. The look on Tom's face had me falling off the couch with glee when he realized for certain Sheila was no Gloria Fisher. Used to being the big abusive boy on campus, ruling his roost with a hard and fast fist, Sheila showed him exactly who the alpha man was in their dysfunctional faux family unit.

Gee, I guess Tom knows it probably won't take much to win Kevin over. Could it be that a few kind, conciliatory seeming words and five dollars of Gloria's money will be enough for a down payment on Kevin's forgiveness? I couldn't help but notice Tom's desire to make amends with his family didn't extend to lifting Glo's rotten, lying carcass from the rusted blackmailing hook. But until someone injects a little steel in Gloria's spine, he's going to keep coming to her window like she's a bank teller and he's one of the institution's best clients.

Well, fans, you were certainly in rare form this week. And I'm not about to keep you from speaking your piece one more minute.

* * * * * * *




SANDI - So what did you two think of Gloria's blond look on the show where they were all at the AC and John hit Tom? I thought that she was going a little too far with the blond look and now this week she is back to the darker with blond in front look -- much better. I laugh over the Sheila/Scott scenes as he is typing exactly what Sheila says and she could do that herself. Yes, I know, they are 'just his notes', and all the personal things that they go over - never would a tutor do that. And who is tutoring who? Where is the Ashley/Tom thing going? Is he that gullible? I teared up with the Katherine/Jill talk about Phillip as I was watching back then and remember it all very well. That was a great scene for both mother and daughter.

DAWN - With all the people flip-flopping between Jabot and Newman, I have just 2 words .. NON-COMPETE CLAUSE (or is that 3?) Surely Victor and John aren't that careless. Also, in case anyone was wondering, if you ever want to be a famous writer, all you have to do is head for GC. Seems they pop them out all the time. Just look at Nina, Cole, Tracy, Scotty. I'm sure I must be forgetting someone in my old age! Speaking of Scotty, wouldn't you be a little suspicious of "Brenda" by now? She has said more than one weird comment that has made him give her a confused look. She'd be creeping me out by now, especially in that stale, run-down motel.

GENE - The show has gotten to be dark a couple of months now, still the best show. Sharon going after Brad is a repeat of other men she went after because Nick, one way or another, is avoiding her. Nick shouldn't shut her out, but he is still grieving. There is no right way to grieve for somebody. I agree Neil should get stock in the company because he has contributed in the company many times. He should talk to Victor or Vikki about it instead of crying about it. Yolanda going through her drug addiction is a real problem in America and I like that Y&R is showing about drug addiction and the price people pay for being hooked on drugs. Sheila is a real hoot when it comes to scheming. I don't think TT knows what he's gotten himself into because Sheila is going to use him and take him out. I'm glad Michael and Ashley are doing something to stop TT. They are not standing by and letting him destroy another person's life again. Gloria has got to stand up for herself, not be Tom's victim anymore. Paying him is not going to get rid of him. Telling the truth may be the thing that will stop him because he is going to use it to his advantage. Mac and J.T. are boring. Mac used to be a viable character, but now she's becomes moody and whiny all of a sudden. It is very annoying and not attractive at all. Bobby and Brittany have grown on me over time. I'm going to miss LW. She is a spitfire and can hold her own with anyone. At first, she was a bitch. But she's grown on me.

TARA - Does it seem obvious to anyone else that Ashley doesn't really seem to have a plan? She seems really phony to me and you would think Tom would have a clue. And, weed? Can you even talk about weed on TV?! What is Brad's deal? He just seems to be getting smarmier by the day! Watching him kiss Victoria made me want to hurl!

ZACK - I'm just gonna start by saying that I don't like J.T.! So to all you J.T. lovers out there in the world, here's a fact or two. J.T. isn't now nor has he ever been a saint! Yet, he turns his nose up where Kevin is concerned! At least Kevin has changed; that's something J.T. isn't capable of. He's still the same self centered, obnoxious, piece of trash he's always been from day one! So Mac needs to throw away Mr. Hellstrom & find some character! Lets face it, Kevin is far more capable of giving her that than J.T.. Compared to Kevin, J.T. stands for Just There! With Kevin, people will watch Mac simply because of how great Kevin is; everyone benefits except for J.T., OH, what a CRIME! With J.T., his flames will reach her bones surely, because her meat is already showing! So I welcome any blasts that comes my way for that stance, because I truly believe I'm flying high on it & out of reach! But I shall swoop down & peck Victoria's eyes out if she is already so blind that she can't see she's fighting a losing battle! Even if she does so happen to luck out with Brad, Sharon will come to Brad in need of some lovin' & since when has any soap opera male turned that down? So after that one night with Sharon, Victoria will be forgotten! Then, after many more nights with Sharon, Jr. (Nick) will come to his senses & once again become Sharon's lover boy, ultimately putting Victoria in luck & TADA! Brad remembers you Victoria, feel special? I hope not. Won't that just put a kink in the Newman's armor? Which brings me to my next subject that I shall sum up in just a few words: C'mon, Victor has been victorious for a long time now, it's Jack's turn! Now on to the best thing going on daytime TV! Oh Nita, you hear that too? I know I do. The knives are surely sharpening & it will not be long before someone goes down! To make this shorter though, Sheila's plans at Y&R I feel have been renewed.. They have something great going & I believe the writers know this.. That's why Sheila is not just back to write a new chapter! What is that her & Scotty are writing? A BOOK! One that I think will not just close come October 28th, it's all just beginning!

TRISH - I just had to wonder about the outfit Sharon changed into on the plane to meet the reps about Seasons. I figure two pigtails, a blue mountain accent and a pig would have completed that Elly Mae Clampett look that I think she was going for. Sooo-eeeee!! Gloria, Gloria, Gloria - when will you ever learn. She tells Ashley not to get involved with Tom, yet she still grovels at his feet to cater to his every whim. Enough already. I think that She-devil & Tom will be the ones to do each other in, with guns smokin' at the OK Corral. We can only hope. Who do you think is more needy for Brad? Victoria or Sharon? Could this be an in-law rivalry brewing in the not-too-distant future, Sharon no doubt the one to walk away with the goodies.

KAREN - It's obvious to me that the reason they are doing the Yolanda drug storyline is to give Neil a role in her life as a sober "been there done that" mentor. I believe the writers are setting up Neil and Yolanda for a future romance.

WANDA - I need help figuring out the age thing. Let's start with Scottie. He is 24. That would make Lauren at least 44-45. Right? Then there is Gloria and Michael. If Michael is as old as Lauren (44-45), then Glo must be at least 62-63. Right? Then there is TT. If he is as old or older than Gloria (62-63) then he certainly doesn't look it or act it. Then there is Bradley. He was going to marry Nikki, who must be 54-55. She is Nick's mother and he must be at least 30 (Cassie was 14 and if Sharon was 16 when she was born). Victoria is supposed to be about 6 years older than Nick so she would be about 36 or so. Brad certainly looks Victoria's age and not Nikki's. The writers need to be careful with who they pair the characters up with or else age has no bearing on anything. Scottie came back much too old for this whole scenario with Michael, Gloria, Tom and Lauren. Does anyone else out there have a problem with everyone on Y&R being the same age?

Well, my fellow fans, November Sweeps are just around the corner. And if the spoilers are to be believed, things in our favorite fictional city should get mighty interesting. Perhaps, as a certain head scribe has often promised, maybe this time they really will prove to be EXPLOSIVE!!!! I guess we will see.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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