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 Two Scoops: September 19, 2005 columns
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Judith Chapman
A tangled web
by Nita
For the Week of September 19, 2005
Apparently the Tomcat was in charge of the Fisher family finances. What else could explain Gloria's inane decision to pay Tom by check instead of in cold, untraceable cash?
Oh how I long for the day the deceptive web Gloria's weaved around herself finally unravels and causes her to trip and fall flat on her assets. Apparently the Tomcat was in charge of the Fisher family finances. What else could explain Gloria's inane decision to pay Tom by check instead of in cold, untraceable cash? Does she actually believe John will never look at her account? Does she think him too blind to see all those checks made out to Tom, checks dated prior to the day she supposedly learned of his presence in the city? And what did John give her access to anyway? A revolving line of unlimited credit? Of course, as I've stated before, this brainless bimbo deserves to be siphoned of every cent at her disposal. Yes, like you I didn't miss the fact that she didn't agree to stuff Tom's pockets until he threatened to expose Michael's fraudulent attempt to label him long dead and buried. At that point, some of you might have softened toward her, convinced that it proved she's finally begun thinking like a Mommy, putting her son ahead of herself. Well, not me! Because I also haven't missed the fact that Gloria hasn't hesitated to lie with a straight poker face plenty of times before, so why did she suddenly find her forked tongue tied speechlessly together this time? Why didn't she insist Michael had nothing to do with declaring Tom dead? After all, she found the lawyer and had the papers filed. Who could prove she didn't suddenly develop an urge to figuratively bury her abusive husband? No, in my biased opinion, Gloria wrote that check not out of fear of Michael losing his livelihood, if not his freedom, but because she knew that when the stinky stuff slapped the fan blades, Tom would have crowed her secrets from the top of Genoa City's tallest tree, exposing the floozy as the greedy, sneaky, habitual liar she is. She's lucky Tom doesn't know about her flopping about in Michael's guest room sheets with one of her hired "sons."

Since Gloria adamantly refuses to give truth a try, the pit her lies have dug for her deepens daily, even hourly. It wasn't enough that she already had to contend with Tom and his ever increasing demands. With her terrible tomcat slinking off to Vegas to live high on hog Gloria until his pennies peter out, Gloria probably thought she'd have a few days to draw a deep breath that wasn't taken in fear. But, no, to her dismay, Tom's motorcycle boot on her neck was instantly replaced by Sheila/Jennifer's clunky low heel. For saving Gloria's lying hide from being skinned by Ashley, Jennifer has added some payable on demand notes of her own to those already left by Tom in Gloria's pile. Yes, sigh, another face has peeked out of Sheila's multi-personalitied pigsty. A fake nose, a different wig and voila, another easily recognizable Sheila, except to the apparently half blind as well as half stupid residents of Genoa City, that is, was hatched. But, since it's Gloria's neck they're squeezing, forgive me if I don't give much of a hoot how little air Tom and Sheila leave her to breathe with. Oh, about that particular pairing, which in my opinion is one of the most slimy and despicable hook togethers in Genoa City history, I can't speak for any of you, but the unappealing picture of them tearing off one another's clothing seared my eyes, turned my tummy and put me off my popcorn and Pepsi for the remainder of my watching.

When it comes to my reason for intensely hating all things Sheila related, I see that which I feared most is happening. In the bad old days, I found storylines with Sheila annoying because she ALWAYS managed to be in the exact right place at the exact right time. Whether it was eavesdropping by phone or in person from behind a half closed door or loitering unseen in a hallway, she always saw and heard but was never seen or heard by anyone. And no matter what the situation, this wench was always two steps ahead of everyone else. So you can imagine how aggravating the past week was as I watched the past become the present as once again Sheila was conveniently on hand. A quick count: (1) although away from the city for more than a decade, somehow she wound up at the current "in" place in town just in time to meet Tom, (2) hear his conversation with Michael, (3) witness his slap-down by Ashley, (4) overhear Ashley's conversation with the Motor Arms clerk, (5) in position to greet Gloria and whisper in her ear (6) with Scott when he received his call from Mommy Hasn't Been There and (7) hired by Gina without a single reference check to lurk among the invited guests at Scotty's welcome home bash, where naturally, no one recognized her for the slit-eyed serpent she is. And that was all within her first couple of days in the City. Waay too many coincidences for me.

One thing has changed about this new older, but not necessarily wiser, Sheila. She can't quite hold on to her cool as well as she used to and seems a whole lot closer to the edge of insanity than in years ago. When Scott's praise for his Mother got a little too effusive for Sheila's liking, her mellow mood shifted and her tone sharpened noticeably enough that even Scott seemed a bit taken aback. Then there was her intimate little mirror talk with herself and her mental wander aways at the dinner party. Not to mention what she planned to do with that big shiny knife clutched behind her back as she headed menacingly toward the party table. Until Gloria's big eyes widened in recognition and caused her to choke on the chunk of meat she was mauling, giving Jen a reason to snatch Gloria from the table. Oh, if only that Cleopatra wig would have flown off in the fracas. Or her pasted on nose knocked askew. But all of my demented little pipe dreams were dashed because nothing like that occurred. And though at least two of the people who should have recognized the witch beneath her war paint looked her straight in the face, both Scott and Michael failed to see what I can plainly pick out. My only hope now is that the cracks beginning to mar Sheila/Brenda/Jennifer's heavily made up persona continue to lengthen and widen. Soon there won't be enough pancake makeup, fake noses, mouth bits, colored contacts, and multicolored wigs in the world to camouflage the fact that Sheila is as crazy as the proverbial loon, perhaps even crazier. She makes Tricia Dennison seem sane.

So, does anyone have any guesses yet as to what Sheila hopes to gain by all this intrigue? Let's see, say she somehow manages to temporarily turn son against Mommy? Say the book even makes it to print and lands out there for all to see. Since it's all a bunch of sour, rotten grapes, the moment Lauren peruses the dust jacket, the jig, as they say, will be up. And whatever tender feelings Sheila has managed to manufacture in Scott's gullible heart and mind will immediately turn to hatred and disgust. So what does she plan to do? In an effort to derail the announced October 28 nuptials, will she kidnap Scott ala B&B and keep him a chained captive in some third world country? Will her bi-sexual sweetie, Sugar, once again lend a helpful hand? As the week wore on, as I closely watched Scott and Sheila, duly noting her girlish excitement toward him, I began to get a quite nauseous feeling in the pit of my tummy. In this city where May December combinations barely rate a second glance let alone a comment, please tell me Sheila's revenge will not have anything to do with entering into a more personal shall we say, relationship, with her tutor? I know she's been harping all these years on the fact that Scott was more "her" son than Lauren's, and maybe it's just me, but she's certainly not behaving at all mother-like. Imagine Lauren's horror at receiving in the mail a full color photo of her son and his new bride, tucked in an envelope with no return address and hand delivered to her door.

Of course, that's only an early guess, and since we're talking about Sheila, this one can go in any number of unimaginable directions. As much as I detest the whole Sheila thing, I must admit I can't wait to see what she might have in store for Lauren. Which could encompass anything up to and including attempted murder. I guess as long as Sheila winds up exposed, no matter how many months that may take, I can grimace and bear all her unbelievable antics leading up to whatever finale there is.

I hope after Ashley has had time to think about things, she will resurrect her suspicion of Gloria. Because no way did the side of Gloria's conversation Ashley overheard add up to the joyous reunion with an old friend from home she witnessed a short time later. I assume Ashley will soon seek out Michael to resume their interrupted conversation and hopefully they will concoct a convoluted plot of their own to turn the tables on Tom that somehow allows Gloria to keep her sugar daddy. I just hope whatever they come up with is better than what Michael's come up with thus far. Even though I still don't think Gloria deserves to come out smelling anything even remotely akin to a fragrant rose, if it rids the town of Tom, I'm sure I can quickly quell any disappointment.

I couldn't help but be amused by Ashley's angry tirade at Michael. Like it was actually Michael's fault she behaved so stupidly. Ashley is a grown woman, a "big girl who can take care of herself" or so she flippantly informed Paul as she flatly rejected his offer to investigate the stranger whose acquaintance she'd just made. And despite all her and John's finger pointing and accusation flinging, Abby was never in danger from that predator, in fact to my knowledge, they'd never even met. And besides, it's not as if Ashley is some inexperienced babe catapulted from the birth canal only the day before. She should have known better than to invite a man she knows nothing about into her life. Does she not peruse the papers? Surf the internet news sites, with capitalized headlines of one unfortunate female victim after another who died at the hands of men they knew next to nothing about. Whether one has a child or not, it's not a good idea to participate in idiotic behavior like going off smelt fishing in practically the dead of night or rumbling off on the back of a motorcycle, arms wrapped around a stranger's waist. And given the fact that Ashley has a child she's supposedly so concerned about, she should be extra careful to learn the lineage of potential suitors or step-papas.

Speaking of children, it appears Scott Jr. is even more gullible than long deceased Daddy Sr. Maybe it's just me and my natural nosiness, but if I'd been kept at arms length by my well to do, practically "famous" mother, and called myself a writer with a top of the line laptop, I would have been so hungry for even the minutest morsel of mommy fare I'd have Googled everything there was to Google about dear Mommy. But, of course, I completely understand why in this case he didn't think to do it. Why that would save us months of aggravation watching Sheila slither around in innumerable disguises that easily pull the wool over the eyes of the too-trusting Genoa City citizens.

Even though I know I could probably answer my own question, why doesn't Lauren tell Scott the reason for their lifelong distance? Since he's no longer a child, now seems an opportune time to fill in all the empty blanks in his family story. But, to answer my own question, that's not the way of Genoa City folks. Everything, simply everything, is far too "complicated" for discourse. None of them ever seem to stop and remember that the complications come more from their withheld secrets than their revelations.

Although it certainly doesn't seem like it will happen anytime soon, the young Newmans really need to find a moment to sit down and have a cozy fireside chat. Unbeknownst each to the other, Sharon and Nick have reversed their positions on the sale of Crimson. Nick's thumb now points down, while Sharon's sticks up. And was I the only fan who didn't get what was going on behind her unhappy face watching father and son mix up her smoothie? Was she jealous because Nick now seems to only have eyes and attention for Noah, leaving none for her? Was it disappointment in not being asked to the Brewers game? Contempt because Nick's decided to play Father instead of CEO? Wasn't one of the reasons she left Jabot for Newman was to have more time with her husband? Doesn't now seem a good time to have that? After all, Newman has been running along quite fine without her this long, what's the big rush to get back to something she's never done?

I had to laugh when Victoria pulled out a hairpin and stuck it in Sharon's big red Brad balloon, causing all the overheated air to whistle out. Obviously Victoria won't balk at using her CEO clout to keep Brad close to her and far from her unsatisfied sister-in-law. But though when last the sisters-in-law were in hot pursuit of the same fellow Sharon came out the loser, one can't assume that this man race will have the same outcome. First of all, Victoria is coming across way too desperate and needy. And also because, husband or no, Brad's lingering looks of longing at Sharon seem to indicate he could be more attracted to the blonde than the boss. So instead of worrying that Brad's tight hold on his Jabot stock could constitute a conflict of business interest, perhaps Victoria ought to worry less about Brad's potential business conflicts and more about his personal ones. Either way, she's probably biting off more than she can chew with her mouth closed, because Brad isn't likely to give in to her veiled threats to sell or say so long. As for Sharon, her past behavior has proven the flimsy paper barrier of her marriage certificate won't stop her from detouring onto illicit infidelity ground, so I doubt Victoria's executive order that she's to sweat under Dru instead of Brad will have any discernable affect on her determination to have his strong shoulder to lean on. If it's a man she wants, Victoria might do well to look in another direction. What the heck. Why not Kevin's?

A strong shoulder is what Devon would like to offer his birth mother if only his foster parents would get out of his way. Once 100% occupied with Lily's trials and tribulations, thanks to Devon's preoccupation with solving Yolanda's addiction problems, work matters continue to be far from the beleaguered minds of Ma and Pa Winters. Although I notice that hasn't stopped Dru from finding a moment to stop at her favorite Milliner's shop to pick up yet another crown creation. Of course, I guess it doesn't matter that they continue to focus their full attention on family matters, because there certainly doesn't seem much for them to do at work. Have either of them even bothered to check in with their offices lately? Are they even aware that Seasons, once fondly referred to as Dru's baby, has been adopted by Brad and Victoria, and it's unlikely any court, especially not the kangaroo court system operating in the land of Genoa, will return custody to her.

For the mansion dwellers, life continues to limp languidly along. Although it's believed Brittany could be in such mortal danger it's considered imperative she continue to reside at the heavily guarded estate, unlike poor, panic attacked Nikki, she shows not even the slightest sign of fear, in fact nonchalantly goes merrily about her pampered way. And though a discontented Jill huffs and puffs for all she is worth, much like the wolf at the third little piglet's solidly built brick domain, she, too, fails at blowing Brittany and Joshua out of the premises. Of course, we can all plainly see that Jill's all bark and no bite and know that she'll soon be goo-goo-ing and ga-ga-ing over Joshua with the rest of the residents.

From rental agent to coffee to cosmetics. The old woman who lived in the shoe, oops, wrong story. I mean, Mother Chancellor, was so satisfied with the outcome from all the meddling she's done in her young houseguests' lives, she thought she might as well try her hand at interfering in other matters as well. Apparently Kay is not at all confident Jack and Jill can successfully carry Jabot to the top of the hill without her marching behind them shouting orders and directions. She could be right. I'm still waiting for Jill to follow through on Kay's advice to update Jabot's ads and bring them into this century. Kay is so determined to make Jabot a force to be reckoned with she's practically given Jack carte blanche to use as much Chancellor gold as it takes to make that happen. I'm not exactly sure how buying Brad's stock in Jabot will further that end, but hey, I'm a writer, not a businesswoman. What should Brad's asking price be for his stock? Why not the full 35 million he originally invested, which dwindled by half when Jack fast-talked him into voting to sell Jabot to Chancellor? Plus interest. Poor Jill. A CEO with no clout. If I were Jill, I'd be concerning myself with that instead of a wailing baby in the living room.

All the while pretending not to have a jealous bone in his lanky limbs when it comes to Mac's friendship with Kevin, I see J.T. was quick to play copycat, inviting Mac to enter into a business partnership with him instead of Kevin. To my delight, thankfully, Mac declined because I confess I do not stay up nights, fantasizing about scenes of those two romancing by day as well as night. Although I doubt there will ever be anything between Kevin and Mac besides friendship, I would still rather watch them work on Crimson business together than stare at Mac and J.T. making lovesick cow eyes at each other. Obviously J.T. is about to pull out all the stops to try to entice Mac back into his bed. For my peace of mind, I hope she refuses.

J.T. and Nikki? A bit of an odd couple, to say the least. Mistakenly believing Victor's impromptu concert had cured what ailed her, imagine my surprise when I saw Nikki go from assured to shaken in less time than it took for Victor to make it to his parked car. But J.T., who has become a super hero of sorts, was there to come to Nikki's rescue, eventually earning himself his first PI job, background checks of potential Newman plant employees. But it remains to be seen whether he will get to finish the job Victor's given him. Because as we all know, this is a town of teeming secrets, and Nikki wasted no time imploring J.T. to keep her panic attacks from her supportive spouse. After all, her doctor as much as said acute anxiety was completely expected after the trauma she'd trundled through. Besides, there was no way Nikki wanted to miss out on her nine day cruise with Victor. For her sake, I hope the kitchen help aboard their luxury liner doesn't drop any dishes. Too bad her panic attack wasn't witnessed by Mac. She could have taken her to Kevin's faceless therapist, who could have cured Nikki in about three visits.

Okay, the sands in the hourglass just ran out for me. Macarena and Antoine will take it from here.



* * * * * * *


MACARENA - Gloria needn't be a mastermind. It's very simple - the man who beat and terrorized your family doesn't have good ideas! All she had to do was tell John when she first saw Tom, throwing in an "I thought he was dead" for good measure. Wouldn't her re-devoted husband help her get a proper divorce? Her boys could have lied about knowing Tom had been in town, but Gloria didn't need to lie. How did she support herself and Kevin between Tom and John? I could accept that she didn't have a checking account if she had a hidden cash box. Eww! Phyllis and Jack need to watch "CSI" to prevent transference onto innocent Daniel.

ANTOINE - I don't think Gloria knew Michael knew Tom was seeing Ashley. But I am not surprised what Gloria has done, she made it seem like she was not to blame for Tom's reappearance and the blame was left on her son, Michael. That is totally in her character.. She left her children to fend for themselves with an abuser to boot! I like the idea of Kevin and Mac starting business together. It's something new, refreshing, and fun. Devon's interest in his mother is understandable for me too. I mean it's his bio mother. I think maybe she will clean herself up and decide she wants her son back. This will turn into a nasty custody battle between the Winters and Yolanda. Also I like TT and Michael fighting. I just wish Michael would get the upper hand and Gloria's secret would come out, and let the cards land where they may. I don't care if John divorces her or not, I just want that secret to come out. You know what, we also think the same way. The PTD (post traumatic stress disorder) that Nikki is having is really boring. It doesn't have anything to do with any other stories, so it's like unnecessary drama. I want Sheila to be uncovered soon, not just so she can get off, so the drama can begin. But I also thought it would it be funny if Lauren started to become really close with "Brenda" then once their relationship is solid have it be revealed she is Sheila. But I know that will not work because Lauren knows Sheila's face because it haunts her in her dreams every night

Same site, same time. Next week. Keep those comments coming!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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