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 Two Scoops: August 8, 2005 columns
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Eric Braeden
She's baaack!
by Nita
For the Week of August 8, 2005
After arriving at Marsinos, Paul's plan apparently consisted of sitting around, twiddling his thumbs, with Victor required to sit beside him twiddling his as well.
When it comes to the Two Scoops column, I hope it's true what they say about it being better for things to turn up late rather than never show up at all. Due to a tremendous computer crash that nearly brought me to tears at the thought of the potential loss of all my valuable (sentimental value anyway) collection of pics of undo-over-able moments, your faithful scribe was scrambling madly to repair the damage. For those who might care a whit, thanks to a very good tekkie friend of mine, I'm finally back online and every single digital shot has been accounted for. And after I rapped myself sharply on the hands several times to make certain I'd learned my lesson, I immediately transferred all my digitally frozen moments in time to a secure CD-R.

Now to the ongoing story of our favorite fictional city and its frenzied folks.

Marsino and Company - 1; Mob Men - 0. That's what it says on the scorecard I'm keeping of who's done what to whom in this skirmish. Of course, for all the help Bobby was, perhaps my card would have been more accurate if it had listed Victor in place of Marsino and Company. I know many fans dislike Victor and think he's long past the age of believably playing the hero, but as I said I planned to do, I enjoyed every moment. Okay, picking up the big Vinny doll and hurling it over the bar might have been stretching things just a wee bit. But, come one, we've all heard various versions of a petite savior who singlehandedly upended trees, cars or buses to save a loved one trapped beneath.

And it was a good thing for Nikki her husband was on hand for the rescue. Bobby's response was just a hair quicker on the comprehension scale than Paul's, even though it did him little good since he missed much of the excitement due to the Luca induced unplanned nap he took on Marsinos hard floor. As for Paul, the needle on his P.I. meter was apparently stuck on Off. He seemed prepared to wait patiently until someone provided him with a map with an X marks the Nikki spot on it. Because after arriving at Marsinos, Paul's plan apparently consisted of sitting around, twiddling his thumbs, with Victor required to sit beside him twiddling his as well. Waiting to see if Vinny was there. Even though his car was in the lot, just after being in a lot outside a warehouse inside of which was found a hanky saturated with Nikki's unique and special perfumed scent, along with a message in her blood, pointing them straight to Marsinos. The patient PI could have remain plopped ineffectually on his posterior for the remainder of the night. Thank Heaven Victor tired of Paul's waiting game or Nikki might still be tied to that chair in Vinny's office. By the way, I loved Nikki's star shoes.

Speaking of Vinny, perhaps one had to be there, because no matter how hard I looked, I just didn't see what Brittany saw when she stared into Vinny's cold eyes. Slit your throat without blinking? Vinny? If that were true, Nikki would never have lived to scream another day. He could have disposed of her and likely no one would ever have been able to prove he'd done away with her. No, from my seat on the sofa, Vinny is a cartoonish mob character, not in the least believable. Unless it's as a comedian. He kidnaps Victor's spouse then laments loudly that things have gotten complicated. What did he expect? That snatching Nikki would make his path smoother? Another thing. Why would Vinny think Nikki knew anything of Marsino's movements in the first place? Didn't he hear with his very own waxed-stuffed ears that Bobby hadn't even told her about the charade? So why pray tell would he assume he'd told her something even more important? Okay, enough nitpicking. Thanks to Victor, all this mob madness is all over but the shouting. Or pretty darn close anyway. The sands of time in Bobby's hourglass have just about trickled away. All reports swear his sad so long is less than a week away.

But that doesn't mean Bobby will take his final curtain call without enjoying a few hero moments of his own in the bright, blazing sun. Although I confess it boggles my brain a bit the way Bobby was able to obtain literally bags of incriminating evidence from a few pics of some pieces of paper with his camera phone, I'm a soap watcher, so that means I'll believe just about anything. Maybe not without pointing a critical finger or two, but eventually I'll swallow more than my stomach can comfortably contain, implausible or not, if it means moving a story along. So, Bobby's got the bag of goods on the bad guys; said bad guys have placed a substantial price atop his good-looking head, and it's believed the next step will be for Bobby to bid his bride a temporary adieu while he disappears into the witness protection program. While I will feel some sorrow to see John Enos go, in my opinion being with Britt made him an insubstantial shadow of his once promising self, so it will be a relief to see this character put out of its misery. If I had a magic genie standing by to grant me my deepest desire, I would wish for Brittany to disappear right along with him, but despite the recurring rumors, I doubt Miss Britt is going anywhere.

So what IS going to happen? Several sources have reported Bobby will disappear, but the head scribe honcho swears it doesn't have to be the forever kind of gone. Of course, we must never forget that no matter what is said or done, or who dies, this is a soap world after all, where people have been known to return from the dead none the worse for wear. Although some soap females apparently stopped to visit their cosmetic surgeons on their way back, reappearing in their family's life with much more than when they left. Said females shall remain unnamed. Anyway, I digress. Getting back to Bobby Marsino. What is Angelo up to and why has he shown up at the hospital? Is he on an errand for the mob, or is it possible he and once bosom buddy Bobby have come up with their own foolproof plan to make Bobby disappear. Or at least appear to. What better way to ensure a grim mob reaper doesn't someday show up in Bobby's future than by making it appear he no longer has one? Now that's a plot twist I could swallow with ease. It would get Bobby out of the way but leave the door cracked open for a future return. And to explain why Brittany would never join her spouse and thereby deprive us of her incomparable presence, she could be numbered as those destined not to be in the know. Sure it means young Joshua would be fatherless and Brittany husband-less, but it's just the kind of sacrifice a man like Bobby might make to keep his family safe forever. Just a couple of convoluted thoughts clinking around in my cranium; no one's saying it's going to be so.

What I did find rather hard to believe, however, was that Brittany birthing business. It took me a good long time to stop giggling at that one. Couldn't she have watched a few episodes of having a baby on the Health Channel? They show them all the time. I've never seen so much eye bugging and caterwauling in all my life. All that was missing was the "I hate you fill in father's name" line some women are alleged to scream out during the throes of childbirth, though I don't happen to know any who actually did that. Of course maybe she didn't have time to curse Bobby's very existence; that had to have been one of the fastest births in soap history. Two or three cramps, water gushes, a couple of good pushes and Voila, a baby boy is born. Lucky Mac just happened by to join in the baby birthing festivities. I guess Miguel was out shopping.

Okay, I know it was traumatic, giving birth without Bobby by her side to admire what a brave little lass she was, but I'm beginning to wonder if all is as it should be in Brittany's self-obsessed skull. Was it just me or was any other fan's head moving back and forth in confusion when Brittany flew off the handle when Bobby's present whereabouts couldn't immediately be pinpointed, shouting out for someone to march right down to the nursery to inform her incubator bound two month early infant that he might not have a father? Get a grip, Brittany girl. And another thing. "Who is going to take care of me?" the pampered princess wailed. Hmmm, well let's see, gee I don't know. How about trying your hand at taking care of yourself? Women all over the world do it every single day. Of course, if Bobby's face isn't featured in the family photos, Ma and Pa Hodges will probably come around to happily pick up the tab to pay the astronomical cost of keeping daughter and grandson living in the lap of luxury.

It's definitely not like living in the lap of luxury, but I tell you, if I had to go to jail, Genoa City would certainly be my first pick for where I'd like to do my time. Unlimited visitors at any and all hours of the day and early evening. Visitors who are obviously not searched since they can easily smuggle in notes from lovesick young ladies. And how nice of the guards to allow their detainees to bring them with them as well. No wonder Chris has no time for Daniel's defense. She's too busy making calls to the juvenile facility arranging visits for Daniel.

I guess the shoe doesn't feel too comfortable when it's Chris' foot being squeezed by it. I couldn't help but chuckle as she chastised Glenn Richards for his quick capitulation to Victor's request to race at breakneck speed toward an early court date. Because not so long ago, it was she who was championing the great man's cause in his commercial bribery case.

But in the current case, she'll be sitting on the opposite side of the courtroom from Victor as she works to exonerate Daniel. And I have no doubt Counselor Christine will soon prove nice people don't always finish last. Although nice was what she was trying to be when she somewhat politely requested Cassie's clothes the first time, she was much firmer the second time she asked, although neither request was granted. Because no matter how gently she speaks, Nick is determined to let no one put a negative Cassie thought is his noggin. Chris's words are not going to go in one of his ears and out the other until the sand in which he's had his head buried has been cleared out of them. As for Chris, I suspect she'll soon realize the time for niceties has passed and on her next visit to the ranch she's likely to be accompanied by a uniformed officer who will have a warrant for Cassie's clothes clutched in his fist.

There's probably still a lot of California sand lodged in Lily's shell-like ears as well. The Judge deeming Lily a low risk for both flight and causing mortal mayhem, after one night in a private cell in Juvenile lockup, Lily's gilded cage door has been unlocked and she's been allowed to fly free, with some restraints. The fact that one of the first questions to fly from Lily's lips had to do with Daniel doesn't give me a whole lot of hope that Lily will walk a straight and narrow Daniel-free path. I can't help but wonder just how much Lily would love her Prince Charming if she knew he was the brains behind the Alex fiasco.

Moving on to the other important woman in Daniel's life. Even though most girls just want to have fun, Phyllis is determined she's not going to enjoy a second of it until her Daniel has been freed. After all, in the world inhabited by Phyllis, one shouldn't have to suffer permanently for a "little" mistake. Perhaps if Cassie was only a "little" dead, her parents might agree with her.

Even though Mac didn't get a chance to speak to the young Newmans, her time fully occupied by childbirth, she continued to work furiously on the planning phase of her proposed Crimson Lights takeover bid. Actually, the coffee house purchase could be a good thing for the Newmans and Mac. It's been a long time since Nick or Sharon took a real interest in the coffee house. Every manager they hire either quits or inexplicably leaves town. Once the Cassie stuff is over, Nick and Sharon will likely be consumed with Newman matters, so they may as well turn over the owning and running of Crimson Lights to someone else. As for Mac, obviously, one of the heirs to the Chancellor fortune isn't going to want just any old ordinary job. So business ownership is the way to go unless she plans to make a career out of being a part-time college student. Like the man she loves. And if I can't have my wish of Mac and Kevin as a romantic couple, I'll settle for them as a business duo.

Every week a little more of Brad's dark roots come into view. Just what does he plan for Jabot? Who is the mysterious man he met with who was told that Mum was the word when it came to their discussion? If Brad wants to be King of the Hill, the Newman mountain range seems like an odd place to start climbing. At this early stage, it's too soon to tell exactly where he's headed, but Genoa Citians are notorious for coming up with grandiose plans that seem destined for success in theory, but the reality manages to fall far short of its intended mark. Brad is a man I would enjoy seeing fall flat on his egotistical face.

Parenting For Beginners. Will someone make Lauren take it again. Not that she's the only parent in GC who could benefit from a review of this class. When thinking about the parents of Genoa City tots and teens, I often find myself pondering just what constitutes a good parent. According to statements made by some of the parents residing in this city, apparently a good parent is often one who can afford to write the biggest checks. Men or women who pat themselves on their good parent backs for a job well done at raising their children. When all they've really done was pay for someone else to do a good job for them. Occasional visits, phone calls and electronic communication does not a good parent make.

Yes, in theory, Lauren having Scott raised in distant cities seemed like a good idea at the time. Except that Sheila wasn't residing in the City he could have been raised in. And now we discover that all Lauren's efforts to keep him far from Sheila have been in vain. Sheila has probably known all along exactly where he was and has been monitoring his life from afar. In hindsight, I bet Lauren will have to acknowledge that perhaps she was a bit too tight lipped with Scotty when it came to Sheila. As usual, she far underestimated Sheila's awesome evil abilities. Poor Lauren, it's like not telling your kid about the danger of strangers, then being surprised and dismayed when your child trustingly takes a stranger's hand and is enticed away. Sheila's likeness should have been plastered in every room of her hotel suite and Scott's home away from home so he would have known exactly what the devil's daughter looked like. I beg to differ with what Brad told Michael about Lauren's life. The past does sometime matter. Especially when it's alive, full of evil and has found your son in Toronto.

Which by the way, would have caught me completely by surprise if I hadn't accidentally stumbled on the spoiler giving it away. Sheila's officially back. Let the devious games begin.

One final observation. Sometimes silly people who don't listen to good advice get exactly what they deserve. I'm referring to Gloria's stubborn determination to attempt to tame Terrible Tom on her own. I guess she must like hearing her son say: "I told you so."

And now, enjoy some words from the fans. As always, my appreciation to all my fellow Y&R fans who take the time to comment. It's always a pleasure hearing from you. As for me, make no mistake, despite anything I might say during the course of this column that might cause you to think otherwise, I LOVE this show and I know you all do too!

* * * * * * *


SHELLEY - Some of the stories on Y&R are going really well and some stories and the characters writing lately are so boring. Let me give you my thoughts. First of all I am sorry to see the character of Bobby leaving, John was such a wonderful actor and it gave the character of Brittany some potential and helped the actress show her acting ability. Mac and J.T. boring. Mac and Kevin even more boring. They are going to own the coffee house. Do everyone young love get their start in town by owning the coffee house. They all need new loves, or give Mac, J.T. and Mac a hot triangle where J.T. is torn. Perhaps bring Sheila daughter back to town and let her get involved with Kevin , or are they going to forget about the daughter Erin from the Bold and the Beautiful. The one who was after Rick. Scott and Sheila, gross, although I understand why they are working this angle after all Sheila was attracted to Lauren's husband Scott, so why wouldn't she be involved with the child. I cannot wait to see Laurens reaction when she finds out. I agree with Michael investigating her past. She should confided in him. He could have helped. She will need him later for a restraining order against Sheila. Put Chris and Paul back together. Find out about Brad's past. I like Sharon and Brad. Jack and Phyllis need a story that does not involve Daniel or work perhaps a baby of their own.

BROOKE - In response to your fan mail from A.W., yes I totally remember Michael killing some woman! I have been thinking about it lately and wondering if I just imagined it and none of my friends could remember for sure either. They should bring that up one day and have the murdered woman be one of the GC's family members.

ANTOINE - I just want to know why Sheila being with Scott is a big deal. It's not like she can kidnap him; he's a grown man.

Last, but not least, comes Tara, whose absence has obviously not affected her ability to cut right to the heart of several soap matters.

TARA (in Michigan)- I've been in and out of the world of Genoa City this summer for several reasons. Foremost being that our house was struck by lightning, frying out 90% of our electronics on the property, including my ability to record my favorite show. I've had to stay abreast of the goings on in GC through various websites and Nita's weekly column. I've been back up & running for a coupla weeks now, able to tape daily and watch at my leisure, and frankly, I'm a bit disappointed in what I'm seeing on the small screen. Sometimes I find myself rolling my eyes, asking "why do I watch this crap?"

I can only think of one drama-laden storyline that's holding a fraction of my interest and that's the one of Fisher/Abbott/BaldMore. I think this TT character is a great actor and plays the sleazeball a bit too well. I'm also anxious to see this Sheila witch. Since I wasn't watching the show back in the day, I'm ignorant to all her evil.

But the rest of the GC residents get a great big SNORE from me. I mean, this mob scene is a joke. And what bird has nested on Vinny's head? I think a coupla Umbrella birds escaped from the Genoa City Zoo and have nested on Vinny's noggin. That man needs to worry less about nailing Marsino and worry more about finding a good stylist. Sheesh!

I also wasn't impressed with Midwife Mac delivering Britt's worm...I mean, alien...I mean, baby. And tell me, where were Miss Britt's drawers in all that? Shouldn't they have been wadded up on the floor somewhere? Or does she walk around commando all day? I know, I know, TPTB can't very well show Brittany tearing off her Vickie's before she pushed that kid out, but I've given birth -- I'm looking for believability. Speaking of believing, I can't believe the audacity of the Latte-Sippin' Midwife throwin' her dirty looks and sideways glances at Blondie & Blondie whenever J.T. was holding Birthin' Britt's hand or comforting her in any way. Can you for once put your "feelings" aside for J.T. (who was really more of a prop in that scene) and focus on the situation at hand? It's not always all about you, Sweetie.

And with the forthcoming demise of the storyline of Bobby, Vinny, Luca and their band of badness, that will open the way for Blondie and Blondie to bond over the birth of little Alien Marsino and finally admit that they've always loved each other. Oh, they'll fight it, I'm sure, but 8 months down the road (or however long it will take for the writers to suck every last drop of flirtation, frustration, innuendos and hidden emotion from these two), they'll finally give in to their feelings and waltz down the rocky road of coupledom.

In keeping with the "What the...?" theme, did Devon raid Jack Tripper's closet for those shirts? He's all over the place on the fashion billboard! He's either a thug or a surfer boy...which is it? And it's clear that everyone on the show, and I do mean the ENTIRE cast, has taken a dip in the bronzing pool recently. These faux-tanned, yam-colored stars are radioactive looking. I mean, you know it's bad when the black people are the same color as the white people! Lily doesn't have a beautiful olive complexion anymore; she's the same shade as Sharon. The way they both whine & mope around constantly, I can only tell them apart by their hair color.

And can they please stop with the Daniel/Lily Incarceration bit? Please? Pretty please? The love letter scene was almost as stupid and comical as watching PI Paul smashing willy-nilly into unoccupied rooms holding his gun like he's on Miami Vice. Gimme a break!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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