Although Mother Goose wrote that it was Jack and Jill who trudged up the hill, in the Genoa City book of far fetched fantasies and fractured fairy tales, it was John who came tumbling down. And what a realistic roll it was! I had to rewind and watch it over several times. John's entire week's worth of expressions and actions were classic John Abbott and made me remember how much I used to appreciate the old Mr. Abbott. He of the big heart whose first flush of anger usually leads to eventual and full forgiveness. I imagine it will be the same this time as well, subject, of course, to the usual delaying twists and turns. John's reaction to learning Kevin was one of the dreaded sons was expected, although I was a little surprised at his equally bitter rejection of Michael. Because I saw little or no evidence of all that overheated hatred when he recently went a-calling on Michael for advice about his dearly beloved. As for Kevin, now that he's undoubtedly going to wind up being John's knight in tarnished tin plate, I'm guessing John won't be able to continue to hold quite as tightly to his low opinion of Kevin. I'm sure regular readers of this column know I forgave Kevin long ago for all his anti-social and psychotic acts (Yes, I know many fans think he should be tarred and feathered and run out of town on an electrified rail, but call me crazy, what more can I say, I like the guy), so I'm looking forward to what I expect will be an altered relationship with John. Not that Terrible Tom's treatment in any way excuses any of Kevin's many dastardly deeds, but I would enjoy seeing John show Kevin a little of how a real father treats a son. I expect the road taking Gloria back into John's good and loving graces will be a bit rougher than either of her sons, however.
Despite Victoria's desire that her visit be kept a deep, dark secret, she revealed herself to the first visitor to the house of squatter, Phyllis, renewing her acquaintance with Damon, hoping he'd give up some of the company's confidential information. It wasn't long before she was showing her new and improved likeness to those away from the ranch as well. Although she hadn't bothered to drop Michael even a one line Dear Mike missive, she blew back into his life as if her abrupt departure had only been the day before. I still remember the sweet heat that sizzled between Michael and the prior Victoria and my expectation that there would be little of that between him and Nu-Victoria was unfortunately fulfilled. That's not to say things can't change, but I confess I'm not planning to hold my breath till I turn blue in antipation of that occurring. So far, while I don't dislike her, I've seen nothing yet to get me all excited. She came across pretty tame in her conversations with Phyllis, who seems to have completely forgotten her time in the Tack House was supposed to be quite temporary. When did she become a Newman entitled to call one of their houses her own? And just where did Victoria sleep? On the couch or with Phyllis? Aside from Diane returning and setting the place aflame, I suspect nothing will eject the squatter and her son except marriage to Jack, where they will then become free room and boarders at the John Abbott Inn.
Seeing Lauren solidly linked to Michael with a seemingly unbreakable chain appeared to deflate most of the air of bravado apparently pumping Victoria up. Prepared to tuck her disappointed tail behind her and trot back to Florence, all bets are off now that she's literally come eye to eye with her beans for brains, blade-wielding, back-stabbing brother. Even if I could understand and support Nit's supposed need to be so law-abiding he felt forced to feed his own father to the man-eating Feds, his admitted preference to never see his sister's face again if it was going to be in the halls of Newman, would have eroded any respect I still had for him, had there been any left. Just for the record, there's wasn't.
Obviously, Miss Vicky will be unpacking those clothes she so hastily tossed in her suitcase. And since it seems to be a foregone conclusion that Jill is going to be running things at Jabot, now that she's managed to trick Kay into letting her be CEO, the only logical place left for Victoria to land is in a luxurious berth on the Newman ship. Thanks to Nit's manipulations, Victor might not be able to return his daughter to her original position of power, at least not without tossing Nick out on his supercilious rear, but he can certainly create an entirely new place for her to carve out a substantial slice of the company pie. I can hardly wait for the family fireworks; in fact, I've already got my chair placed set side so I won't miss a single explosive spark. By the way, NOW Nit wants to make his father proud of him?? Well, he certainly could have fooled me because I thought he could care less what Victor thought of him. I hope Victoria wipes the boardroom floor with her big-headed brother.
Over at Jabot, Jack has obviously decided Jill will be a much more compliant CEO than Brad and has answered the former hedge clipper's ultimatum with a resounding nay. A furious Brad has promised his formal resignation by end of day and will switch places with Jill on Genoa City's unemployment line. Not that I expect him to be out of work for long. I'm sure there will soon be an office with his name outside the door at Newman. And what of Nikki? With her entire family taking home checks with Newman's name on the stub, will she chose to continue to draw her salary from the enemy's coffers or will she make it unanimous by transferring her talents to the family company?
All's returned to sparkling mineral water and dew-tipped yellow daffodils for Pa and Ma Marsino. The little bride's puttering happily around their sparsely furnished pad, burning the toast, scorching the bacon and performing perfectly as Bobby's little girl. Am I the only fan who hates that baby girl voice in which Brittany gushingly expresses her undying devotion to her rough-edged mate? I'm glad they're so happy, but they still irritate me intensely. With the bill collectors ringing Bob's cell phone off the hook and practically panting outside the door, Bobby's turned to pouring drinks at the local watering hole, slash, sweat factory. How soon before Nikki comes ambling in looking for tea and sympathy?
The news of the latest lottery winner has apparently reached into all the dark, musty crevices of certain nearby states and instead of the blinding light scaring away all the crawling critters, one has slid on his sunglasses and slithered out to see what's going on. Looks like Kevin is about to get a super-sized sample of some of his own bad-tasting medicine. As he once frightened young maidens right out of their wits, so is he probably about to be terrorized by the King of the Cockroaches himself, one Terrible Tempered Tom. The trying to re-invent himself Kevin and the now mostly civilized Michael aren't likely to stand much of a chance against this habitual abuser. I doubt Gloria is likely to fare any better and could even still have a soft spot or two remaining with Tom's name scratched on it. Even if John still looked upon his breath of fresh air with fond favor, he's obviously going to be in no position to come to anyone's defense, even if he wanted to. Once Tom arrives, I expect things are going to get quite nasty.
As suspected, most of the condom tale Cassie told her parents was concocted on the spot. Not only did Sharon discover her daughter was proving to be as much of a liar as Mommy dearest has been known to be, she had also decided to follow the footsteps in the well worn path taken by most of the Walnut Grove Academy students - attending classes when and if they feel like it. And knowing her parents often spend their mornings romping together in the slippery sheets or feeding each other verbal sweet and tender nothings across the breakfast table, the "Dude Magnet," as fan Josette so kindly corrected me, decided to play hooky at Crimson. Unfortunately for Cassie, her parents weren't playing any love games that day. Caught and subsequently grounded, there's not even a chance Cassie has learned anything from her parent's lecture about the birds, the bees and the new strain of medicine-resistant Aids, as it probably went in one ear and right out the other.
Not a lot going on with the latest Mackenzie as she dawdled with J.T. and Kevin. Just my opinion but this second week found her jelling no better with the regulars than the week before. As for the other newcomer, Adrienne found herself smack in the middle of her ex and the man she'd obviously like to become her current. Making it clear as glass yet again, Malcolm told her point blank there was no "us" in a manner so final, had it been me, there would have been an abrupt end to the meal she practically had to beg him to join her in. But in the end there was no meal for anyone. Because as Damon attempted to prominently post his sign on Adrienne's land at the same time yanking up the one he thought might belong to Malcolm, the woman being argued over left them to bicker without her.
The coming weeks should have something for everyone. For those of us who have been impatiently waiting for something or someone to puncture Nick's colossal ego, there may finally be a faint light at the end of what has been a tiresomely long and pitch-black tunnel.
For Dru, the gauntlet has been flung violently to the ground and with hubby's help, she hopes to knock the Newmans socks off with her brilliant business maneuvers.
Jill, the woman who practically blackmailed John for a share of his company will now get to call the shots. For her, I imagine revenge is going to taste sweet indeed.
And much, much more.
Okay, fans, you had plenty to say about a variety of people and things. So step up to the Mic and have at it!