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 Two Scoops: March 21, 2005 columns
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Jess Walton
Short, but not sweet
by Nita
For the Week of March 21, 2005
Thanks to Mommy Dearest, Jill will no longer get a day's pay for a job rarely done.
Poor, Jill, so the takeover whittled her once impressive 20% to a mere 8. Though I looked at my heart when I heard that news, I failed to see it shed a drop of blood in sympathy for her plight. Of course, given Jabot's long-running financial woes, it probably didn't much matter how much of a percentage she held since nothing from nothing unfortunately leaves nothing. Not that Jill was relying on stock profits alone to provide her live in luxury income. She was presumably also pulling down pretty impressive pay. But as we all now know, for Jill, the Free Money Express has come to the end of the line. Thanks to Mommy Dearest, Jill will no longer get a day's pay for a job rarely done.

Once Jill realized Jack no longer needed her to help him carry water pails up and down the hill, she did everything but drop down on both scabbed knees trying to beg her mother's pardon. But when she saw no amount of insincere pleasantries and apologies were going to lull Kay into a forgiving sense of benevolence, she shrilly screamed the truth from Jabot's rooftops - not only wasn't she sorry, she owed nothing to the vindictive old shrew, or words to that effect.

Although Jill's reason for throwing her lot in with Jack was strictly self-serving, she's now pointing a crooked finger of blame straight at Jack for the unemployed status in which she finds herself. And not being the type to forget a betrayal, it didn't take her long to find a couple of potential birds with similarly ruffled feathers who might all wind up flocking together to form a nest. Fowl number one, Brad, remains an unhappy camper, resentful of Jack's high-handedness, but is willing to pretend otherwise if it will bring him his deepest desire - to sit in the CEO seat. And fowl number 2, Gloria, may soon have three very good reasons to join their alliance. Kevin, Michael and Terrible Tom. By the way, wasn't it amusing watching John's present and past wives canoodling together comparing notes? Jill could certainly give Gloria some tips on the best way to fleece a disillusioned spouse. Not that Gloria actually needs Jill's advice; so far she's done a rather admirable job completing conning the too-trusting cosmetic maven.

Jack is certainly enjoying being lord of all he surveys. And it's already crystal clear he doesn't intend to make better business decisions just because CI now holds Jabot reins. Because always first and foremost in his devious mind is how best and how deep everything he does will stick it to Victor. And it appears Victoria is the next Newman he'll attempt to use to reach that goal.

But old Smilin' Jack might want to slow his reckless roll a bit and turn down the wattage on his self-satisfied devil-may-care grin because I'm afraid he's making potential enemies both left and right. He's already plunged and twisted the blade of betrayal in the back of nearly every Abbott, including those related by blood or at one time or another, marriage. Phyllis is one of the few who still holds him in high esteem. Now, I am one of the fans who love Phyllis and Jack together, though individually they currently hold the top two slots on my most disliked list. A list whose lineup admittedly changes often according to storylines, character stupidity, or just my state of mind at that particular moment, although Jack has occupied a place on the list for quite some time. But their sweet and tender times together may soon be a dead smelly thing of the past. Because I don't imagine Phyllis will be thrilled at being played like a fiddle by Jack. Believing Jack's desire to find Victoria was directly tied to lifting the Dru albatross from around her neck, Phyllis eagerly agreed to betray her employer's trust by hacking deep in the internal Newman network to ferret out Victoria's whereabouts. And I notice Jack didn't choose that moment to suddenly start speaking out of the honest side of his twisted mouth to correct her erroneous assumption.

Having said that, however, and because in my opinion Nick is fighting for purchase on the same rung of my ladder of disrespect as Jack, I will probably enjoy anything that will give Victoria an opportunity to send Nick hurtling all the way to the rock hard ground. Even if it means having to watch Jack use her against her own family. Plus, Victoria has plenty to prove to her Papa for his ill-advised decision to shove her rudely aside to get all close and cozy with her brother. And as the final straw meant to knock the camel to her knees, Nick, by signing on the dotted line a contract binding Newman to Dru, has ensured his sister will be unable to wield a Newman staff of any power. His hasty action is not expected to win him any brownie points of approval from either of his parents and will effectively tie Victor's hands preventing him from lifting a finger to undo the stupidity committed by his incompetent son. The only thing left would be to remove Nick as CEO and appoint Victoria instead. Which I'm certain he won't be prepared to do. Much as I like Victor, all I can say is whatever happens as a result of his failure to stop the train wreck Nick has become will be exactly what he deserves.

Jack isn't the only one suddenly in search of Victoria. After months where all parties queried professed to know not a thing about Victoria's location, in the space of a day, she's apparently become ridiculously easy to find. While both the Newman and CI jets were being simultaneously readied for takeoff, Victor, unaware there was any urgency involved, is obviously going to come in second in the amazing race to get to Victoria.

So what will Victoria do? No danger of being mistaken for honest Abe, I don't expect Jack to tell the total truth and nothing but when attempting to convince Victoria to transfer her allegiance to Jabot. But he will definitely have some things in his favor. He will be able to offer her something her brother has already taken away. Her own cosmetic division. And the opportunity to prove to her Papa that when choosing his heir, he should have chosen her. And while I'm not overly eager to witness more of the never-ending Jabot/Newman fussing and feuding, I must admit adding a determined to win Victoria to the mix does at least give it a different twist and just might make for interesting watching. But, Jack might want to be mindful that when it comes right down to the point where the hot rubber tires meet the sticky road, Victoria is, after all, a Newman, and he might very well wind up sadly ruing the day he offered her the keys to the kingdom.

Watching my last taped episode late Thursday night, I had to keep rewinding and playing it back, because Phyllis' tedious taunting of Dru kept putting me to sleep. Do the scribes actually think we find their childish bickering interesting? It was tiresome when they first began to act like tantrum-throwing two year olds and things have not improved with even more ridiculous repetition.

But anyway, after the expected threat to expose Lily's twisted DNA trail, Phyllis dangled the specter of Victoria before Dru's horrified eyes. But Phyllis might have been better off had she kept her flapping lips fastened. Because all she did was make Dru realize she had nothing to tether her to the top cat position and she wasted no time summoning Nick to close that glaring little loophole. According to Nick, he never really thought about Victoria's return and what it might mean to the company. Well, he's a liar, liar whose pants are on fire. His placement of Dru in Victoria's former position proves he's thought about his sister all right. How best to cut her out of the company, that is. Pretending to be so concerned about Mama and Papa Newman's future togetherness. Humph! He just wants to keep Papa Bear far from Newman where he can't stick his thumb in Nick's hot porridge. Of course, Nick was easily convinced to have Legal concoct a contract. That way he can claim it was his fear of losing Dru to a competitor (yea, I know, he'd probably have us believe they're literally lining up around the block clamoring for Dru's valuable talents) as his motive for solidifying her position, coincidentally dissolving Victoria's.

Mirroring the Newmans, there's still turmoil and trouble across town at the Abbotts too. Ashley and Gloria go another round and again Ashley finishes second. So Ashley decided to drop the battle with Gloria, at least on the surface, hunkering instead behind buttressed laboratory doors, smelling sweet smelling fumes of new scents instead of the acrid stench of Gloria's perfume. But that doesn't mean Ashley has waved the white flag of defeat, conceding victory to Gloria. On the contrary, she has simply shifted the responsibility for snatching the mask off Gloria's ravaged countenance to Paul, who immediately passed the buck and handed a shovel to junior detective, J.T. Heckler, I mean Hellstrom.

And off went Sherlock Jr. to dig up old Detroit dirt on Gloria. Okay, maybe this is just me being stupid, but couldn't Paul have found out a lot of what Ashley wanted to know simply by picking up the phone and dialing up one of his convenient contacts? Of course, I suppose taking that easier route would have prevented J.T. from managing to stumble over Terrible Tom. Or will the expected publicity about Kevin's win be the thing that sends Tom trotting to his estranged family's door? One thing is for sure, once Tom realizes which reasonably wealthy citizen is now footing Gloria's bills, he's going to feel like he too has hit the jackpot. I can hardly wait!

Speaking ill of Gloria, isn't she another of those manipulative GC citizens who you just can't help but love seeing her get what she deserves? Unwilling to acknowledge her sons in order to preserve her own place in the hot and luxurious sun, I see it took only a hot, New York second for her to attach her sticky tentacles to Kevin's lottery winnings. And interesting that after all he's done, both Fishers seem eager to cut Michael's limb off the money tree. And lastly, I have to comment on Daniel who, with his advice to Kevin, has proved beyond any doubt he is indeed his mother's son. According to Daniel, why tell the truth when a lie is better? So what if Michael's been footing Kevin's bills and dealing with his demons for months?

Plenty during the short week of the Bobby and Brittany boring hour. Bobby's punishment has official begun. Does anyone out there really care whether these two ever patch up their differences? I certainly don't. I confess there's probably nothing these characters could say or do to cause me to care. And no, I didn't feel much as Brittany moaned her way through the week either. Yes, it's good she didn't lose her impending package of Marsino joy, not because I'm looking forward to more bland and boring bits about Bobby, Britt and the bouncing Marsino baby to be. But because even the former possibility is preferable to Britt's lifelong blame of Nikki and Bobby for being the reason she couldn't carry her baby to term. But I bet it will be an icy cold day in the hot place of purgatory before Bobby even thinks of touching his lips to anyone other than his wife.

Brittany remembers all too well how it felt to be the least preferred woman in Billy's bed and Bobby's betrayal brings all that painful stuff of the past back to mind. She does have a valid point about one thing, though. Nikki is like the invisible body in the marital bed. It's way past time she cropped her likeness out of the bridal portrait. I can't help but think that Victor wouldn't be so understanding of Nikki's support of Bobby if he knew just how far her support had recently extended. As for Bobby, he'd probably agree to practically anything that would maneuver him back into Brittany's good graces, up to and including relocating to the loft. I'm guessing the kitchenette is probably looking mighty tempting to Bobby as well.

But, in spite of all the bitter and disillusioned words pouring from Brittany's smile turned upside down mouth; it's highly doubtful Mrs. Marsino will be going anywhere. Her parents certainly aren't likely to be waiting with welcoming, open arms, Mac definitely has no desire to see her hang her maternity dresses in the closet in her old room at the loft and I assume Mrs. Marsino will adamantly refuse to return to her free room and board at the ranch. So where else has she to go except with Bobby? She may go grudgingly, but I expect she will go.

And finally, Malcolm, minus the fuzzy braids and scruffy face, has at last returned to being gorgeous. Not that his improved appearance did anything to soften Lily's attitude. I don't know where he plans to place himself in Lily's life, but it's doubtful he'll be content to just sit back and watch Neil finish fathering the child he now knows is his.

* * * * * * *


Due to a weekend trip, I had to submit my column early, and the only thing inside my mailbox at that time were a couple of cobwebs and a dust bunny. But rest assured, any fan feedback received over the weekend will be included in next week's fan forum.

Happy Spring to you all!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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