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 Two Scoops: November 8, 2004 columns
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Melody Thomas Scott
One marriage begins, another ends
by Nita
For the Week of November 8, 2004
Realizing that for Brittany, Bobby was the big man of her dreams, J.T. decided not to divulge his feelings of devotion.
Dashing my most fervent hopes, the wedding went off with only a glitch or two. Realizing that for Brittany, Bobby was the big man of her dreams, J.T. decided not to divulge his feelings of devotion. I know the reason he said he kept quiet, but I can't help but wonder if it had more to do with Colleen's rumored return. Did the scribes decide to prance off in another direction - backwards - in order to keep J.T. untangled 'til Colleen returns? Although I know J.T./CC fans would disagree with me, I happen to be one fan who liked Brittany and J.T. together, thought there was smoldering heat behind the hungry looks they fed each other. So in my opinion, leaving her cradled comfortably within the confines of Bobby's muscular arms was a missed opportunity to build a super couple in J.T. and Brittany. Of course, we know how things work in this topsy turvy town, so regardless of the heartfelt lines of love J.T. spoke about Brittany, once Colleen returns, I'm sure he'll soon realize his feelings for Brittany were nothing more than rebound romance, a second best substitute for his deep devotion to Colleen.

To no one's surprise, Daddy Hodges appeared at the proper point to play his walking daughter down the aisle part in his princess's wedding day production. While he didn't exactly have an ear to ear grin pasted firmly across his face, he did come bearing gifts, a rather large one at that. Enough to pay for an indefinite hotel stay while Bobby's digs are being re-done. Since we already know Britt is not the homemaker type, the GC Hotel, with its round the clock room service, is probably the best place for these two to begin their life of matrimonial bliss.

As weddings go, this one was all pink pastels and touching, heart tugging moments. The bride was, of course, breathtakingly beautiful, the groom, handsome. The 15 or so guests seemed to have a lovely time, although I confess I remained mostly unmoved, except, of course, by J.T.'s lone trickling tear, which almost made me cry. From start to finish, I forbade my FF finger to move one iota, forced myself to remain seated on the sofa as the groom rambled through his off the cuff vows and the bride recited pretty poetry. My ears perked up when nothing but silence met the minister's query as to whether the bride took the groom, but before I could rise to do my happy dance that my dreams had come true, she finally answered in the affirmative. So, despite my crossed fingers and twisted together toes hoping to ward off the inevitable, the deed was done. The ill-fitting couple were legally linked together. And as the grinning groom locked lips with the blushing bride, as always happens, my stomach quivered in queasy disquietude. But that's just my opinion; none of you may share it.

While I'm on the subject of the wedding, I feel obligated to comment on one of its gawking guests. Mackenzie Browning. Now, before I utter a single complaint, let it be known that I adore Mac; in fact was one of the fans jumping for joy upon learning of her intended return. But, now that she's here, no one seems to know what to do with her or which boy or man it should be done with. So for now, while the scribes scratch their skulls in indecision, they've temporarily appointed her Chief of the Truth Police. I swear, if she would have asked J.T. one more time how he felt about watching the woman he allegedly loved wed someone else, I probably would have screamed so shrilly, they'd likely have heard me on the Genoa City set. How did she imagine he felt? Like yesterday's garbage perhaps? Mad? Sad? Really, really bad? That could be why he finally kissed her. Probably hoped to shock her into silence. So, what's next? Will Mac now play Cupid and send her arrow winging all the way to New York to summon Colleen to mend J.T.'s bruised and love-battered heart?

Alas, even as the Marsino marriage began on a high note of hope, the Carlton coupling collapsed completely with a guttural groan. Having kicked her mostly faithful mate to the side of the road to make room for Victor's carriage, Ashley found, to her dismay, that Victor had no intention of coming by and picking her up. Deciding there was no better time than the present to dump icy cold water on her hot and foolish hopes, Victor made it clear Nikki was the only woman for him. I was so proud of him I could have jumped up and danced a little jig of joy. Looks like for now at least, the best woman won. Nikki.

Wanting to keep things even handed, Brad also received a proud pat on the back for refusing to accept the second choice, hindsight crumbs Ashley was all but offering him once she realized Victor wanted no part of her farfetched fantasy. Of course, I admit he lost a couple of brownie points when he continued to blame Victor because his soon to be ex wife couldn't admit that for Victor the thrill of loving her was long gone.

Nikki could have saved Ashley from having to wash all that egg yolk off her fuming face. She warned her not only was Victor not on the same page as she, he wasn't even reading the same book. But, convinced the Newman marriage was on thin and fragile ice (for Ashley the perfect position to move in and start chipping away at the watery cracks) Ashley refused to open her muddled mind and let the bright light of reality shine in. Instead, the delusional dimwit, prattling idiotically about the many ways she intended to make herself accessible, arranged herself enticingly atop a silver serving platter, only to have Victor lift the lid and admit he wasn't a bit hungry for what she had to offer.

"How could you be so cruel," she whined tearfully. "How could you lead me on this way," she whimpered. Well, although both Brad and Ashley would disagree, in my opinion, Victor didn't lead Ashley anywhere except straight to the truth. Perhaps if I possessed a more charitable soul, I'd have felt some minute measure of commiseration at Ashley's distress. But I don't, so I didn't. On the contrary, from start to finish, I relished every second of her long-desired downfall. As it turned out, at least in Ash's case, I guess the truth really does set one free as the proverbial bird. Free from fighting, free from faking, free from Brad's unwanted attention. Unfortunately for her, also free from Victor.

As if anyone had any doubt, Kevin proved yet again that in his case, age really is naught but a number. And that number certainly has nothing to do with his level of maturity. Regardless of the number of years he's shuffled along in life, he's still acting like a child. Now he wants to beat up big brother. What happens after the fight, I wonder? Will they shake hands and declare themselves brothers again? Or sworn and lifelong enemies? Does it depend on which brother winds up the victor? Will Mikey let him win or will he actually win legitimately? Do any fans even care? As for Lauren, the bitter bone of contention the brothers are fighting over, since she has such bad luck with her suitor's relatives, perhaps her next amour should be a parentless only child.

Okay, I know Phyllis is an Emmy Award winning actress and all that, and that's a good thing. I'm happy for her. But does that mean her face must be stuck before us all the time? Practically every single day? Through the Jack/Diane thing, the Daniel/Danny thing, the Christine/Daniel thing, the Daniel/Damon thing, the Alex/Daniel thing, and finally the Damon/Dominic thing. And it looks like we could be about to revisit the Jack thing, minus Diane this time. She's not the only feline sunning herself on the windowsill; there's other hissing cats that could be showing their claws. Having said that, however, I'll now talk out of the other side of my mouth and admit I liked seeing her and Jack together again. And I liked that Jack and Daniel have become so chummy, working together to take care of her. Even though both Jack and Phyllis often tromped hard on my next to last nerve the way they handled themselves in the past, I always enjoyed them together. Something I can't say about her and Damon. Time definitely did not make my heart grow fonder for the Damon/Phyllis pairing and I will be the first to cheer if it turns out they're skidding into the last leg of their arduous journey together. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for a Jack and Phyllis' rematch.

While it had some excellent moments, I freely admit I'm enormously ecstatic the Damon Dominic dynamic is nearing the end. And in my opinion, Phyllis was right to blame herself. Damon didn't drag her into his dilemma. No, over his strident protests, she insisted on inserting her silly self in the middle of it, even though it meant shoving aside her son. She knew Damon desired Dominic's blood and her unwanted intervention made sure their paths would cross. So now what? After months of knocking on Damon's door mewling and begging to be let into the inner sanctum of his secret heart, Damon has finally uttered the coveted "L" word. And fickle Phyllis seemed strangely unmoved. All of a sudden, she's concerned about the streak of violence deep down in Damon's soul. An admission I confess made me snort rudely in disbelief. Since when does someone seeking vengeance against another bother Phyllis? Isn't this the same woman who once aimed her two ton automobile at two frail, easily breakable human bodies, hoping to make them hood ornaments?

So, Nick is literally going to buy his wife a position at Jabot. Spokesperson? Sharon? Pardon me a moment while I fling myself to the carpet in helpless, hysterical laughter. What is she going to speak about? Tuvia has tanked. The orchid hair straightening roots have dried up and blown away. And since no one's been in the lab since Noah built the ark, they can't have any new products to peddle. Even if they did, how would they pay for the advertising? Why doesn't Nick simply tell Sharon to pick something she wants to do and then just buy her a business to run? When she one day learns Nick was the wind beneath her employment sails, I doubt she'll be covering him with kisses of gratitude.

Neil's behavior is certainly perplexing to me. He hasn't budged from his decision to fling Devon to the slavering wolves guarding the gates surrounding the Level 12 group home. He made it crystal clear he had no desire to make Devon a part of his day to day family life, apparently because his heart is too small to fit love for two teens inside, so why does he keep running to the Rec Center trying to be Devon's best buddy? No wonder Devon is confused. So am I. Neil's callous treatment of Devon isn't the only reason he gets a slap of ridicule from my wet noodle. How many times has he spewed hot air about Lily being his priority and blah and blah? Hundreds of times. Yet he can't see that his darling daughter is literally falling to pieces right before his hooded eyes. Even Kevin, with his one-dimensional eternally inward facing viewfinder can see that. Lily's mental deterioration had such an affect on him, after being urged by the Truth Fairy (a/k/a Chief of the Truth Police), he actually began to confess to Lily he was actually the puppet master manipulating Alex's strings.

And finally, after teasing us with tantalizing glimpses of Malcolm's eyes, hands, arms, shoulders, shoes, jeans and braids, we finally saw him in all his handsome glory. Oh, be still my palpitating heart! Wow, Malcolm's more than a wee bit perturbed, isn't he? But even raging with bitterness, I'm already loving having him back. I can't wait to see what happens next!

I absolutely loved the exchange as betrayed boy Devon traded biting barbs with betrayed man Malcolm. They might not turn out to be father and son, but though they don't yet know it, they already have something in common. Their disgust for Neil. I confess that after the way Neil's behaved, I'm looking forward to watching Malcolm poke pins in his pompous hide. However, Malcolm might want to think before speaking too bitterly about the things brothers allegedly should and should not do to one another. Because while longing lustfully after your brother's fiancÚ is definitely not a deed to be done, I hardly think frolicking freely atop the satin sheets with your cold medicated brother's wife and perhaps making her chubby with child will win you any brother of the year awards either. Like they say, those who live in glass houses might want to think twice before throwing boulders of blame. When it comes to Malcolm, I guess one question has already been answered. He has forgotten nothing! Dru better batten down the hatches and lock up the liquor. Because I have a feeling Malcolm is about to drag Neil down a very dark road. Especially if he decides confession is good for the soul and winds up being Lily's daddy.

* * * * * * *

Well fans, looks like once again, Ashley is the butt of most of our jokes. So, straight from your keyboard to the Two Scoops screen, here what you had to say:

Tara - "Let me start by reiterating what most Y&R fans, including yourself, have been saying for a while: Kevin is grating on my nerves! I have no desire to see him try to duke it out with his big brother (but if it involves a sweaty Michael sans shirt, I may reconsider ;) Kevin needs to either grow up or hit the road Jack! Speaking of Jack, why was I so excited to see him show up at the hospital?! Is it just me or is the shine starting to wear off of Phyllis's new boy-toy, DP? BTW - Kudos to Devon for the Cosby Family line. And last but certainly not least, the moment we've been waiting for with bated breath.....The Moustache turning Mrs. Sad-Frog-Mouth down cold! Man, those "I never, ever told you that I was going to leave Nikki, never" words hit her harder than an underpaid pimp!"

Ronda - "First of all, I LOVE what is going on with the Ashley/Victor/Brad storyline. First Brad left her, now Victor has told her he's not interested and now she's left looking like a "Desperate Housewife" trying to hold onto Brad! I sure hope Ashley ends up being alone that way she can devote her time to Abby and locate her pride, because it was definitely stripped from her this week! Karma is something and I was so happy Brad cleverly made his point about wanting someone who does not want you!"

Lon - "Well every dog has its day. The twisted she devil called Ashley (Home Breaker)Abbott got her day of a rude awakening. My applause goes out to the writers for not dragging this one out."

Patsy - "OH my God!!!! Why doesn't Nikki just go postal on that husband stealing witch (with a B) Ashley!! I'm not EVEN gonna get into the Brittany thing, I just see a lot of broken hearts and busted marriages ahead for this young woman. Sheesh, but wasn't that tear on J.T.'s face so poignant?"

Renee - "I used to really enjoy Ashley until she started grabbing everyone's husband. If Victor tells Ashley he wants to be with her but can't because he's married, I will never watch Y&R again. His mouth better form the words, I love Nikki and always will. There is no future for you and I. And while we're at it, I would so love if it turned out Abbey really isn't Victor's child after all. Then she truly would be all alone. She deserves it."

Wanda - "Does anyone in the whole wide world have an ounce of sympathy for "poor little Ashley"?

Kathy - "Well since Sharon can't find a job, (apparently Wal-mart, Wendy's and McDonalds aren't hiring this year) poor Sharon will have to go work at the club."

Evelyn - "There's a great storyline there for the return of Colleen to pair with Danny Jr. That would be great! What potential there. Might make for chemistry with Brad and Christine. Hmmm. Now there's a thought!"

Sandi - "Now just who is running Jabot these days? Brad is there in body only; Nikki comes in and goes; Ashley is too busy throwing one husband out and going for Victor to worry about her chemistry lab; Damon has demons and John is off cruising with bloodsucker Gloria; Just who, pray tell is running the business?"

Brenda - "Lauren Fenmore had a son named Scotty Grainger, whatever happened to him? No mention is ever made of him, and a Mother does not forget to take care of her son!" Well, the last we heard, Brenda, Scotty was in boarding school.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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