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September 25, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011

All My Family

In New York, Farah Cam captured JP wiping his face with a pair of dirty socks. Farah was disgusted, but JP merely laughed. Later, at the One Life To Live studio, Farah and JP were going over lines in their dressing room, along with co-star, Josh Kelly. Farah noticed that JP's sock had a hole in it, so JP explained that one of their pets had been chewing on it. Farah confided to Josh that JP's socks weren't the only problem. According to Farah, JP's underwear had holes in them too, so she was surprised that JP managed to keep his penis inside of them.

Josh burst out laughing, prompting Farah to reveal that JP liked to travel commando, while in the comfort of his pajama bottoms. She proceeded to tell Josh about a time that she and JP had been in an airport bar, between flights. Farah had noticed that JP's penis had slipped out of his pajama bottoms, while they had been sitting at the bar. JP smiled good-naturedly as Farah and Josh laughed at his expense. "Now you can run lines," JP suggested as he stood up.

Later, at Farah and JP's apartment, JP questioned Farah about some new pillows that she had purchased. Farah explained that they were for his mother's visit because she didn't want Bambi to have to sleep on the old dust mite-ridden pillows that their pets had peed on. During her confessional, Farah revealed that Bambi had high expectations of Farah, so Farah worked hard to try to meet them. Back in the apartment, Farah and JP sat down to talk about Bambi before Bambi's arrival. Farah was curious why Bambi was determined to go to a fan event with Farah and JP. Farah suspected that Bambi liked the attention, but JP insisted that his mother simply enjoyed talking to fans about mom things, like how she had breastfed him until he was seven.

Farah didn't see the humor in JP's remark. She accused JP of letting Bambi get away with everything, including the first year when Bambi had been mean to Farah. JP wondered if his mother had told Farah yet that Farah would never love him as much as Bambi did. Later, Bambi, and her friend Diane, arrived. Bambi greeted Farah and JP, and then announced that she had picked up some beer for JP. Bambi also warned JP that the cooler was heavy because Bambi had bought some milk.

Farah was stunned; she insisted that it proved what little faith and confidence Bambi had in Farah. "I have milk," Farah assured everyone. Later, Farah helped Bambi get ready for the fan event by putting on Bambi's makeup. Farah revealed that her contract with OLTL was ending in a few months, so it was likely her last fan event. Bambi explained that she had wanted to attend the event for that very reason. After Farah finished with Bambi's makeup, Farah went to the bathroom to get ready.

Bambi sought her son out to persuade him to eat something before he took some pain medication for his foot. JP explained that his foot wasn't bothering him, but Bambi was adamant that he not take any medicine on an empty stomach. Farah confided to the viewers that Bambi was an overbearing mother, so JP admitted that his mother did occasionally treat him like a "little bunny rabbit." Farah insisted that Bambi was proof that some people were "nutso" about their children. Meanwhile, in the apartment, Bambi moved on from the pain medicine to JP's wardrobe. Bambi wondered if JP intended to wear his usual pajama bottoms.

Farah explained to the viewers that JP preferred pajama bottoms because he wasn't comfortable with how attractive he was. According to Farah, JP thought that looking like a bum made him blend in more. Farah then revealed that JP tended to throw a fit whenever she expected him to dress properly. In the apartment, JP and Farah argued about what JP should wear to the fan event, so Bambi piped in by suggesting that JP wear whatever made him comfortable. Exasperated, Farah stormed off to finish getting ready. JP, with Bambi trailing behind him, went to his bedroom closet to pick out a pair of pants.

Farah rolled her eyes when she overheard JP decide to wear a pair of jeans that Farah hated, and Bambi respond, "All right, go." Later, they all arrived at the fan event. A loyal fan named Bianca, who followed Farah around the country, greeted Farah. Farah confessed that she had never experienced a true fan until she had met Bianca, and that she felt lucky to have so many fans. Farah bristled when Bambi quickly took Farah's vacated seat as Farah stood up to give Bianca a hug.

Bambi immediately offered to sign autographs and then began telling those gathered close that she had been in labor with JP for twelve hours. Farah glared at Bambi with an expression of disbelief mixed with frustration, but Bambi was oblivious as she charmed the fans. Farah's mood continued to sour as Bambi began posing with fans for pictures and then joined Farah and JP in some snapshots. JP seemed to notice Farah's tension, so he leaned down to kiss her and whisper, "I love you." Farah kissed him back, and then decided that she was done taking pictures.

After Farah, JP, Bambi, and Diane returned to the apartment, Bambi had a private chat with her son in the kitchen about JP's move, and his future with Farah. Bambi was concerned that Farah would try to push him into a marriage that JP wasn't ready for. "It is what it is," JP replied in an effort to avoid the conversation. Bambi decided to let it drop. After Bambi and Diane left, JP and Farah went to dinner.

Farah warned their server that JP would take forever to order, because he could never decide what he wanted. After the server left, Farah threatened to have it written into their wedding vows that she would always order at restaurants for JP. JP's smile became a bit strained when Farah admitted that she was ready to move forward with their relationship. JP tried to keep things light, but Farah would have none of it. She told him to back out of their relationship if he didn't see himself spending the rest of his life with her. JP responded by inviting Farah to work on a seating chart, but Farah wasn't amused.

Farah reminded JP that "Grammy" would have loved to see them get married, but that opportunity had passed them by. Farah's frustration mounted when JP agreed that it would have been "neat" if Grammy had seen their wedding.

At Nadia and Brandon's house, Nadia's mother, Fary, and brothers were visiting. Fary was busy cooking in the kitchen, while everyone mingled around her and chatted. Nadia explained to the viewers that she had a very large and vibrant family, who loved each other, but also could hate each other. Nadia's brothers, Kaj, Jean-Paul, and Ulf were piling food onto their plates when Fary announced that good cooks made great lovers. "TMI" Nadia groaned as the others laughed. Fary ignored Nadia as she smugly reminded everyone that she had six children: three boys and three girls.

"Gross," Nadia cried. The smiles faded when Brandon complimented Fary on the food. Fary snarkily replied that she knew that Brandon had enjoyed it, because he had helped himself to a dish before anyone else had been served. Brandon confessed to the viewers that Fary was tough to please. To illustrate that point, Fary warned everyone that she would never cook for them again if she caught anyone using their cell phones during dinner. Things continued to go downhill for Brandon when his neighbor, Mike, showed up.

Fary took an instant liking to Mike, so she showered Mike with compliments, and then made a point of telling Nadia that Mike was a "real man." Brandon confided during his private interview that he had tried to win Fary over, to no avail. Later, Nadia and her mother were in the kitchen alone. Nadia thanked her mother for cooking dinner, so she offered to set Fary up on a date. Fary refused to consider it, because she insisted that her daughter had terrible taste in men. Fary also reminded Nadia that she was still in love with Nadia's father, and that he had taken her soul when he had died.

Nadia resented her mother's veiled insult about Brandon, but Fary refused to apologize. Fary admitted that she had disliked Brandon from the beginning, because she preferred men who were gentlemen, generous, and had good hearts. Fary didn't like the way Brandon treated Nadia, so Nadia asked for an example. Fary argued that Brandon never bought Nadia flowers because he thought they were a waste of money, since they only lasted a few days. Fary threatened to kill Nadia if Nadia married Brandon, and had children with him. Fary tried to soften the blow by giving her daughter a hug and kiss, but Nadia wasn't in the mood.

Fary chuckled as she confessed, "I've been a bitch. I've been an honest bitch." The following day, Nadia took a break from working on her script to tell Brandon about her talk with Fary. Brandon wasn't surprised to hear that Fary had said some unkind things about him. He explained that all that really mattered to him was that he made Nadia happy. Nadia reminded him that her mother was "old-school Persian," so Fary had high expectations. Brandon wondered how he could please Fary, so Nadia admitted, "You pretty much have to be Jesus."

Nadia then turned serious as she advised Brandon that the best way to win Fary over was to be good to Fary. Brandon reminded Nadia that he had tried, so Nadia urged him to keep trying. She suggested that he kill Fary with kindness. Brandon decided to heed Nadia's advice by inviting Fary to meet him for lunch at Fary's favorite restaurant. Brandon showed up with a beautiful planter filled with a variety of elegant flowers. Fary quickly pulled away from his attempt to kiss on the cheek, and then reluctantly extended her hand.

Brandon set the flowers down, prompting Fary to ask if Nadia had picked out the flowers. Brandon admitted that he had picked them out on his own. Fary wondered what the occasion was, since it was the first time that he had ever bought Fary flowers. Brandon explained that he wanted to make things right with Fary because he loved Nadia. Fary scoffed at the suggestion.

Fary accused Brandon of being stupid, young, and arrogant. According to Fary, Nadia was blind to Brandon's faults. Brandon thought that Fary should try to get to know him, instead of passing judgment on him without any insight as to who he was as a person. Fary was unrepentant as she suggested that her daughter needed a gentleman who had rules and manners. Fary claimed that Brandon had no class. Brandon conceded that he had things to learn, but Fary insisted that Brandon would never be a good husband.

At Galen and Jenna's house, Jenna headed to the spa, while Galen stayed home with the boys. Jenna revealed that it would be the first time that Galen had watched the boys for more than an hour. After Jenna left, Dillon and Jensen immediately got into trouble by putting cars in the microwave. Galen was forced to put Dillon on a three-minute timeout when Dillon hit his younger brother. Jensen seized the opportunity to run to a room, and then lock himself inside. Galen ordered Jensen to unlock the door, but Jensen admitted that he didn't know how.

Galen realized that he would have to find another way into the room, so he released Dillon from his timeout, fetched a ladder, and then perched it against the side of the house to climb a vine that led to the balcony of the room where Dillon was locked in. Galen was frustrated when he discovered that the French doors were locked. Galen wiggled the doors, until they finally gave way, and then opened. Galen decided to keep the afternoon's adventure to himself, until he joined Jenna in the hot tub later that evening. He handed her a glass of wine, and then revealed how he had needed to rescue their youngest child from the locked room. Jenna smiled when Galen admitted that she was a great mom, and that he appreciated her.

Kelly met with some of her friends for a day of fun at the pool. Kelly's friend Tara revealed that she had bumped into Kelly's ex-boyfriend, Mike, the other day. According to Tara, Mike had been a little drunk, and wild, so things hadn't changed. Kelly confided that Mike hadn't accepted any of her payments, but she was confident that she had made the right decision by ending their relationship. Kelly explained that Mike had turned into someone she hadn't recognized, so she had decided that she had to love herself enough to let him go. Kelly insisted that she still loved Mike, because he had been a huge part of her life, but the relationship had been unhealthy.

Kirsten and her brother, Austin, went to a gelato shop to spend some time together before Austin was deployed for a year of flight training school for the Army. Kirsten explained in her private interview that Austin was the only immediate family member that she had contact with. According to Kirsten, she had financially supported her family for a long period of time, which had led to a huge argument with her mother. Kirsten had arrived home from work one day to find that her mother had packed up all of Kirsten's belongings. Kirsten then revealed that her mother had ordered Kirsten to move out. Kirsten admitted that it had been a difficult couple of years, but she had remained close to her brother.

Kirsten then revealed that Austin had recently had a baby girl, named Kennedy, with his girlfriend, Tiffany. Tiffany had an older son, Lyric, from a previous relationship with Ashley Parker Angel, who had once been part of a boy-band called O-town. Kirsten vowed to be there for Tiffany, and the children, while Austin was away. However, Kirsten feared that she might become an emotional wreck without her brother around. Later, Kirsten was in makeup with Kelly on the set of General Hospital. Kelly immediately sensed that something was bothering Kirsten, so Kirsten reminded Kelly that Austin was about to be deployed.

Kelly offered Kirsten her support, and promised to have Kirsten's back if Kirsten needed her. After Kirsten left the set of GH, she headed home to have a farewell dinner with Austin, Tiffany, and Lyric. Tiffany was determined to stay away from the pasta because she was watching her weight. Kirsten insisted that Tiffany looked great, especially for someone who had just had a baby. Tiffany chuckled and then warned Kirsten that Kirsten might see things differently when Kirsten got pregnant. Kirsten revealed that the closest that she had ever gotten to being pregnant was when her character on GH, Maxie Jones, had faked a pregnancy, and had thrown herself down a flight of stairs to fake a miscarriage.

Tiffany laughed and then resumed setting the table. Later, Austin and Lyric sat down to join Kirsten and Tiffany for dinner. Lyric was curious if Kirsten made tacos for a living. The adults smiled as Kirsten reminded Lyric that she worked on a soap opera. Lyric had no idea what a soap opera was, so Austin explained that it was a television show. "Oh yeah," Lyric replied. Kirsten promised to have Lyric visit the GH set while Austin was away.

Kirsten and Tiffany became teary-eyed at the thought of Austin's departure, so they tried to pull themselves together for Lyric's sake. Austin reminded Lyric that Lyric would have to be the big boy of the house, so Lyric offered to get his money jar out to buy his mom "bras and shirts." Tiffany chuckled, and then assured her son that he needn't worry about buying her bras. The following day, Austin finished packing. Lyric was upset, because he didn't want Austin to leave, so Tiffany went to her son's room to comfort him.

Eventually, everyone gathered outside to say goodbye to Austin. Kirsten was upset because her brother would be missing the first year of his daughter's life. Everyone hugged Austin, and then watched as he got into his car and then drove away, while fighting back tears. Kirsten and Tiffany decided to take Austin to a store where they could hand-paint ceramic bowls and figurines. They each picked something to send to Austin, and then went to work painting.

Tiffany confessed that she couldn't believe that Austin was gone. "Me too. We had such fun times with that man," Lyric piped up. Tiffany and Kristen grinned. Kirsten imagined that Lyric would be bored spending all of his time with Tiffany, Kennedy, and Kirsten. "Actually, I'll be really bored," Lyric admitted.

Kelly decided to host a girl's dinner for several of her close friends. The ladies gathered around the fire pit to sip on wine and chat. Kelly confessed that her characters had dated more men than she had. Kelly reminded her friends that Mike had been her only boyfriend. One of Kelly's friends encouraged Kelly to get back into the dating pool, but Kelly had no idea how to begin. Moments later, Kelly was struck by inspiration.

Kelly invited her friends to jot down the name of a guy that they would like to see Kelly date. Kelly announced that she would attempt to make a date with each of the men that her friends had chosen for her. Her friends eagerly wrote down names, and then dropped the slips of paper into a bowl that Kelly passed around. Afterwards, Kelly began to read the names of the men that her friends had chosen. Kelly laughed when she saw that her friends had picked: Ryan Gosling, John Mayer, and Chris Cornell. However, she balked at Chris Cornell's name because he was married, and had children.

Kelly quickly tossed Chris' name into the fire, and then moved on. Kelly was surprised that someone had suggested that she go out with her close friend, Kevin Connolly. One of Kelly's friends pointed out that friendship often led to love. Kelly couldn't believe that she would be going out with every one of the guys on the list, provided that she could get their publicists to agree. Kelly's friends raised their glasses to toast Kelly on her new adventure.