Other Two Scoops for the week of November 7, 2011
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Episode 7: You belong with me
For the episode airing November 6, 2011

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So, what do you do when one of your stars falls ill and the other proves to be nowhere near as exciting as his kids? (Sorry, Galen, but you know that your kids are scene-stealers!) Well, if you're Dirty Soap, you pick up with the stars that you have left. Ironically, this week is yet another example that the show's real stars could have (and should have) been Nadia, Farah, and Kelly. Sure, they have little to do with one another, but neither did all those Housewives of Wherever and it didn't seem to hurt them! Here's what happened with our favorite trilogy of soap princesses.

Should I be worried about myself that with each episode, I grow further and further sure that Farah is the most relatable person on the show? Don't get me wrong, that's not to say that she's the best human being on DS. That's just to say that she's the most close to normal -- not too sweet, not to sour, just right. (Said, Goldilocks!)

I can see why she wouldn't want her boyfriend to wear pajama pants everywhere they went. I can certainly sympathize with the disproportionate, yet somehow necessary, level of disappointment when a vendor forgets to put cheese on your sandwich. (I mean, really, if I'm eating turkey bacon and egg whites, I at least get to have some cheese!) And, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't understand why she didn't feel the need to assume some parental role over JP.

Truth be told, she has my favorite of all qualities in a person -- self-awareness. She managed to halt her dramatic exit from the clothing store long enough to realize that she needed to pay for the sweater before she stormed out and didn't flip when the others laughed at her for her miscalculation.

If that wasn't enough reason not to totally hate her, she finished up the episode by taking JP golfing, arranging a meal on the 18th hole, and giving him a membership a the golf course in Los Angeles. I don't know if she could have appealed to JP's manhood more if she would have gift-wrapped the TV remote and presented it to him.

In soap news, I found it interesting that Farah said that it was harder to remember her lines when her storyline is so confusing. Indeed, playing a character that was killed, then a ghost, and now a version of her evil sister is hard for us, as an audience, to watch. It's nice to know that it's equally as hard to play as it is to watch!

As if I needed further proof that Fary was in the wrong, Brandon's adorable family came to visit. They start pushing for grandkids -- including Brandon's stepmom -- who I might add, loves the boy even though there's no blood relation to her.

On the other side, enter Fary. She proclaimed that Brandon came from garbage, so he must be garbage too. And that was the nice stuff. The whole conversation with Fary was a spectacular display of nonsensical madness on Fary's part. At one point, she said that Brandon was a drug dealer and then followed it with, "I never said you were a drug dealer." (I guess someone had already called dibs on, "I know you are but what am I?") It continued with Nadia proclaiming that Brandon made her happy and Fary countering that Brandon was an a-hole.

*sigh* I can surely acknowledge that Fary is "reality gold." However, I'd argue that it's the same "reality gold" that minted the likes of Omarosa, Khloe Kardashian, and Spencer Pratt. Nadia and Brandon seem like very nice people, and I fail to see what they've done to warrant this kind of disrespect from Fary. It's just not entertaining to watch. Maybe if Brandon and Nadia weren't such likable people, or if Fary targeted a different person each episode, it would be different. But, I'm sorta ready for Fary to go back into her house of candy and work on another plan.

I love that Brandon pointed out that he would defend Nadia to no end if his dad dared to say something bad about her. There should be no double standard when it comes to a daughter and her mom. And since I've seen nothing but chivalrous behavior from Brandon, I have to agree with him that Fary should back the eff off. (I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course!)

My biggest complaint about Kelly's storyline this week was that it could have taken months to play out, yet we had to watch it over the span of about 20 minutes. Let me let the producers in on a little secret -- we're soap fans. We can take drawn-out stuff -- especially if it leads to the heartwarming high point that we got with Kelly this week.

It all started when Kelly's BFF Lauren came over. Lauren had cancer, and Kelly somehow couldn't see her through it. I assume that Kelly didn't want to dump her breakup on her cancer friend. Yet, Lauren said that she had waited for Kelly in the hospital. Lauren even said that she had wandered into the halls (perhaps under the influence of her pain meds) proclaiming to hear Kelly's voice! I'll pause while you let that one sit in. Ready now? Okay…

I can see where both sides came from. You don't want to drop your secondary stuff on people who have more important things to worry about. Yet, I can speak from experience that when you have a personal and emotionally heavy situation, sometimes the best thing for you is to hear of problems that aren't your own. When you can (gasp!) offer advice to someone else, it makes you feel exponentially better!

But back to Kelly. Since she had such respect for cancer patients, she befriended an adorable girl named, Mikayla, and secured her a guest spot and trip to hair, makeup, and wardrobe. Mikayla was living with Hodgkin's lymphoma. All she really missed was having a full head of hair, yet had a tremendous spirit about learning her lines and making sure she could forget about the bullies who were mean to her. With heroes like Mikayla on the show, I wish that some of Fary's airtime would have gone to Mikayla.

Does JP really have a Delorean? If so, does it travel through time?

Anyone else catch that Kelly greeted Mikayla in the same dress from Jason and Sam's honeymoon?

I can totally sympathize with Nadia's hard time over buying heels. I kid you not, I own one pair of flats. And, it was a big deal when I bought them. Being a stubby-legged, 5'3" gal, I need all the elongating-leg help that I can get!

Did anyone else think that the card and Farah at JP's table was going to say, "If you decide to forgo your individual room and stay the night in the fantasy suit…"

Wow. Farah Fath called Deidre Hall a bitch. In her defense, if someone made fun of my makeup, I'd probably take it the wrong way too.

Knowing how tiny Kelly is makes me realize how small Mikayla is.

Should someone tell Nathaniel that women are not supposed to handle Viagra for risk of birth defects? No? Okay, just checking.

I guess Farah is completely recovered from her surgery…

Did you think that random stranger, Lou, was a bit too forward in his lunch invitation to Kelly? Or, does Kelly get asked out by "Franco types" all the time? (Lucky girl!)

So that's it, soapers. Only one more episode remains for Dirty Soap Season 1. As Farah and JP were arguing over whose character had the strangest storyline, it really made me wonder -- does an out-of-body experience trump playing your own back-from-the-dead sister who has your face? Or, is there yet a third party that would trump them both? These are the types of questions we can only ponder through soaps. PBS doesn't give you this type of insight. I'm just sayin'.

Happy viewing,

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