Julian screamed at the top of his lungs while Viki was in his room with a knife, and Ivy, Sam, and Esme were outside trying to get into the room, but it was locked. Vincent, who was dressed as a female nurse, wondered who was killing Julian since that was his job. Sam kicked the door in order to find out why Julian was screaming. Vincent whispered to Eve that Julian was upset that she turned his "Magic Johnson" into an upside-down Slim Jim. Julian threw the covers off of him and exclaimed that "little Julian" was on backwards and that "little Julian" was really little. Everyone in the room looked on in amazement. Esme, Julian's girlfriend, wondered what to do with what was left of little Julian. In addition, Esme stated that she would have to be a Chinese acrobat, and even then, she would not know what to do because little Julian was too small. Esme apologized to Julian and said that size did not matter. She recanted and said that it was a lie because if that were the case, Catherine the Great would have raised chipmunks. Ivy remarked that it was like looking at an old friend through the wrong end of a telescope in a mirror upside down. Julian told Ivy and Esme by telling them that their comments were not helping.
Eve pulled Vincent to the side and blamed him. Vincent shot back and said that it was all Eve's doing. She was drunk, and he whispered to himself that he drugged Eve. Julian demanded to know who botched the operation so that he could kill the person responsible. Eve told Julian to calm down, and Julian said he couldn't because he was maimed and reassembled by Dr. Frankenstein. Julian called the surgeon an imbecile. Eve owned up to it, and Julian was shocked, and he threatened to kill Eve. Esme tried to calm Julian by suggesting an alternative. She stated that she received tons of emails about miracle creams for penises. Julian placed his hands over his face in horror.
Sam and Esme became suspicious of Eve by stating that Julian had just broken up with her and that she botched the surgery out of jealously. Sam demanded to know if Eve was out for revenge since Julian was sleeping with someone other than her. Eve explained to Julian that she was the nearest doctor at the time and that she had no ill will towards him. Vincent came to Eve's rescue. He assured Julian that it was not Eve's fault. He came up with an excuse about a missing anesthesiologist and a slip up with the computer imagining of Julian's penis. Julian questioned why Little Julian was so small. Vincent informed Julian that there was a lot of swelling, so Eve had to cut off a small amount and had to do a little whittling in order for it to fit. Esme remarked that there was no whittling in that Eve made a towering redwood into a tooth pick; the empire state building into a doll's house; Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey into a flea circus. Julian covered his face and yelled at Esme to "hush." Vincent stated that Eve saved Julian's life and his penis. Julian noted that he would need a magnifying glass and that there was nothing normal about his penis. Esme pouted while Julian blamed Eve.
Viki hunkered down in a corner trying to figure out how to get out of the room without anyone seeing her. While everyone was deep in conversation, Viki slipped out of Julian's room from where she was hiding. She wondered how to finish the job before Julian could pick her out as his attacker.
Sam asked Eve if there was anything that could be done, so Eve suggested another operation to reverse the order of the penis. Julian was not thrilled at the idea of cutting little Julian off again. He thought that there would be nothing left after the operation. Eve suggested that Julian get some rest before the operation. Julian remarked that he could not get any rest with his penis looking the wrong way.
Sam asked Julian if he saw his attacker. Viki overheard and worried that if Julian pointed her out, she would be in jail forever. Julian said it was all a blur, and Viki was ecstatic. Sam told Julian to relax and it would come back to him. Julian thought for a second, and then he called out Viki's name.
Gwen was excited because she thought that she had convinced Ethan to send Little Ethan away to boarding school. She mentioned to Ethan that she had a good time at boarding school. Moreover, the child psychologist, the fake one Rebecca hired, thought that boarding school was best for Little Ethan.
In Little Ethan's room, Theresa asked Little Ethan to lock the door while she changed into her fake nanny outfit. Before Theresa could leave the room, Pilar and Paloma entered, and Pilar called out Theresa's name. Little Ethan insisted that it was Gertrude, but Pilar refused to believe it. Theresa placed her false teeth in her mouth and spoke like the fake nanny, Gertrude. Pilar demanded that she turned around. Gertrude told Pilar that she could not possibly turn around since she was without makeup. Little Ethan came up with an excuse, and Pilar bought his explanation. Theresa ran to the bathroom to change. She returned made up as Gertrude the nanny. Pilar's suspicions were put to rest since Gertrude looked nothing like Theresa.
Back in Gwen and Ethan's room, Ethan pondered whether to send Little Ethan to boarding school. Ethan wanted to spend the summer with Little Ethan, but Gwen said that she had already picked out a boarding school for him. Ethan got angry and asked Gwen if it was her intention to get rid of Little Ethan all along since she had already had a boarding school picked out for him. Gwen insisted that she was not trying to get rid of Little Ethan and that she was only following tradition. Since Julian and Alistair went to boarding school, she thought that it was best for Little Ethan as well. Ethan apologized to Gwen and decided to call the boarding school to let them know that Little Ethan was on his way. Gwen said to herself that she and Ethan would not see Theresa's brat until he was 21. Ethan changed his mind while he was on the phone. He told Gwen that he was not ready to send Little Ethan away to boarding school. Gwen tried to convince Ethan otherwise. Ethan suggested that it was best to get Little Ethan's opinion on whether he wanted to go.
Pilar quizzed Gertrude on her mothering skills, and she was satisfied. In addition, she told Gertrude that she didn't think that Gwen had Little Ethan's best interest at heart. Gwen walked in at that very moment and asked if Pilar was discussing her. Pilar lied and said that she was giving her credit for helping to rear Little Ethan. Ethan tried to talk to Little Ethan about boarding school but Gwen wanted to have the discussion with only Little Ethan present. Gertrude insisted that since she was Little Ethan's nanny, she had a right to be there. Gwen told Gertrude that she was out of place, and Ethan agreed with her. Pilar said that she was Little Ethan's grandmother, so she demanded to know what was going on. Ethan informed Little Ethan that it was best for him to go to boarding school. Pilar was against it, and Gertrude (Theresa) was also against it. Little Ethan pouted and asked if Ethan really wanted to send him away to boarding school. Little Ethan said that he wanted to stay in Harmony with Ethan and his grandmother. Ethan changed his mind and told Little Ethan that he did not have to go to boarding school. Gwen looked at Pilar and stated to herself that it was not over. Pilar looked back at her and smirked.
Julian called out Viki's name, and Esme thought he was crazy to name her sweet niece as his attacker. Esme was not aware that Viki had been murdering her male cohorts. Viki fretted that she was caught and wondered if she had to join a gang while in jail. Julian only called out Viki's name because he saw she had walked into the room. Viki was relieved. Esme slapped Julian over the head for giving her such a scare. Vincent observed that Viki was scared and tried to guess what she was hiding.
Julian told Eve that it was time for him to pee and wondered if it was possible. Julian sent everyone out of the room, and while Viki was on her way out, she said to herself that she had to kill Julian because she refused to let him take Esme away from her. Julian attempted to pee in a bedpan. He turned his back to Eve and Vincent, who was disguised as a nurse, and he sprayed them with urine since his penis was on in reverse.
Eve instructed the nurse to make sure that Julian had the right dosage for his medication. She specifically stated that the medication to suppress his erection was of utmost importance since an erection would be devastating. Viki overheard, and stated to herself that death by erection would suit Julian perfectly. The nurse returned with Julian's medication. She turned her head for a second, and Viki reached for one of the medications and grabbed it without being spotted. Viki marveled at what would happen if Julian got an erection. Since she confiscated the medication, the answer would be blatantly clear. Viki tricked Esme into going into Julian's room to get him aroused. Esme walked into Julian's room and undressed to reveal an attractive negligee. She turned on the music and performed a striptease. Outside of Julian's room, Viki told herself that it was time for Julian to die.
Meanwhile, Eve was in the hall telling Vincent that Julian could die from an erection, but she was sure to prescribe a medication that would suppress his urges. However, Eve was unaware that Viki had taken Julian's medication.
Fancy came back to her bedroom looking for Luis, but he was called away by Sheridan because Pretty had decided to have an abortion. Pretty was never pregnant, so she faked having an abortion in order to get Luis' attention away from Fancy and Sheridan. Luis chastised Pretty for having an abortion without consulting him. After Pretty realized that she had Luis's undivided attention, she revealed to him that she did not go through with the abortion. Luis hugged Pretty, and she was all smiles. Sheridan saw them and was quite upset. Fancy walked in and questioned Sheridan about Pretty. Sheridan pointed out to Fancy how happy Pretty and Luis looked. In addition, Sheridan expressed her concerns about losing Luis to Pretty, and suggested that Fancy was also losing Luis. Fancy made it very clear to Sheridan that Luis wanted a relationship with her and that Sheridan was just jealous.
Back in Pretty's hospital room, a nurse walked in and asked Pretty to sign the paperwork stating that the procedure was done. Luis was a bit confused since Pretty told him that she did not have an abortion. Pretty covered by stating that the paperwork was to ensure that she did not get an abortion. Pretty sent Luis away briefly. The nurse stated to Pretty that she was perfectly fine, and Pretty told the nurse that it was none of her business and sent her away. Pretty got what she wanted, in that she got Luis to admit that she and the baby were the most important things to him. Sheridan and Fancy looked on in disgust.
Little Ethan thanked Ethan for not sending him away to boarding school. Pilar gloated to Gwen that she failed in trying to send Little Ethan away. In addition, Pilar informed Gwen that Little Ethan would always be around to remind her of Theresa. Gwen walked over to Ethan and Little Ethan, and she tried to encourage Little Ethan that boarding school would be good for him. Ethan pointed out to Gwen that Little Ethan was unhappy about going to boarding school. Pilar hated the idea and voiced her opinions to Ethan.
Little Ethan experimented with his chemistry set while Gwen left the room to take a bath. Gertrude went back to Little Ethan's room and reassured him that Pilar would make sure that he did not go to boarding school. Little Ethan asked Gertrude (Theresa) why Gwen hated him so much. Gertrude's response was that Gwen was nervous of Little Ethan and that Gwen wanted Ethan all to herself. After Gertrude left the room, Little Ethan came up with a way to get back at Gwen for trying to send him away to boarding school. Little Ethan sneaked into the bathroom and poured chemicals into Gwen's bath while she was in it. Little Ethan rushed out, but Gwen spotted him. Gwen submerged herself in the tub.
Downstairs in the living room, Pilar and Gertrude tried to talk Ethan out of sending Little Ethan to boarding school. Pilar tried to badmouth Gwen, but Ethan stood up for her by telling Pilar that Gwen only wanted what was best for Little Ethan. Pilar accidentally slipped by telling Ethan that Little Ethan needed to stay near his father. Ethan questioned Pilar about her comment. Pilar caught herself by stating that she meant the adoption of Little Ethan. Ethan concluded that he was not sending Little Ethan to boarding school after all.
Gwen screamed out, and Ethan turned his attention to her. Little Ethan looked on in glee. Gwen ran down the stairs covered all over in a blue substance. She looked like a little Smurf. Little Ethan immediately ran off. Gwen realized that it was Little Ethan's doing and remarked that Little Ethan was going to school in Siberia. Pilar, Ethan, and Gertrude looked at Gwen and started to laugh.
At the hospital, Eve told Vincent that if Julian had an erection, he could die, but she said thanks to the medicine she prescribed to him, he would be okay. She said the reason she didn't tell Julian he could die from an erection was because she didn't want to upset him anymore than she already had. Vincent joked about Julian's predicament.
Meanwhile, in Julian's room, Esme tried to seduce Julian while Viki lurked in the background, sure that by her swiping the medicine Eve prescribed that Julian would die for sure. Julian was starting to feel the effects of Esme's striptease and screamed out in pain. Eve came in and told Esme that if Julian had an erection, it could kill him. Eve gave Julian a shot to stop his erection. Eve's shot worked, and Julian's erection went down, but she was forced to tell him the truth about his condition. Viki vowed to kill Julian next time.
At the Crane mansion, Gwen came downstairs in her towel with blue skin to the snickers of Pilar, Getrude, and Ethan, who tried to downplay the situation. Gwen accused Little Ethan of turning her blue, but Pilar told Gwen she didn't know that for sure. Gwen tried to use the incident as proof that Little Ethan needed to be sent away to boarding school. Ethan told Gwen that if Little Ethan was behind the incident, he would be punished, but they would not send him away. Ethan said if he asked Little Ethan about whether he was responsible for turning Gwen blue, he wouldn't lie to him. Gwen used Ethan's statement to insult Theresa, calling her the world champion liar of all time. Ethan told Gwen to control her temper and went off to find Little Ethan. Gwen told Pilar "Little Ethan is so out of here," to which Pilar replied, "Over my dead body, Gwen." Gwen said, "Don't tempt me." And Getrude went off to find Gwen a robe. Upstairs, Getrude told Ethan that even if Little Ethan was behind the incident with Gwen, it was probably just a prank that went too far. Ethan said he's always felt bonded with Little Ethan.
Pilar told Gwen someone should have poured sulfuric acid into her bath, and the two squared off. Pilar said Gwen was still jealous of Theresa and the love Ethan had for her. She said she wouldn't be surprised if Gwen turned herself blue on purpose and blamed Little Ethan for it. Pilar said Gwen's plan to get rid of Little Ethan would backfire, because Theresa was in Ethan's heart, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Pilar told Gwen the harder she tried to erase Theresa's memory, the stronger it would become. Gwen looked in Little Ethan's room for proof that he put something in her bath water to turn her blue. She looked under his bed and found his chemistry set as proof that Little Ethan was behind the attack. Pilar told Ethan that even if Little Ethan was behind the prank on Gwen, he didn't do it maliciously. Gwen brought the proof to Ethan and told him that Little Ethan would be sent to boarding school.
At the hospital, Fancy overheard Luis tell Pretty that she and the baby were the most important things in the world to him. Luis told Pretty in front of Fancy and Sheridan that he was glad Pretty didn't terminate her pregnancy. Pretty said she never felt so loved, and she asked Luis if he loved her. Luis said that Pretty and the baby were very important to him. Pretty asked him in front of Fancy and Sheridan if they were the most important things to him. Luis said, "Yes," which prompted Fancy to leave the room, and Luis went after her. Once Luis and Fancy were out of the room, Sheridan applauded Pretty's machinations, calling her a true Crane.
Fancy argued with Luis in the hallway about what he told Pretty. Luis explained to Fancy that he had to say something to stop Pretty from getting an abortion. Fancy said Pretty was using her pregnancy to try to break them up and Pretty wouldn't stop until she succeeded. Inside Pretty's hospital room, Sheridan said she knew Pretty never planned on getting an abortion and that she was using the threat of having an abortion to scare Luis. Sheridan said Pretty needed to keep feeding Fancy's doubts, and she warned Pretty to stay on her good side or she'd go to Luis and tell him she was just threatening to have an abortion to get on his good side. Luis told Fancy that he didn't love Pretty and nothing could ever come between him and Fancy-not even Pretty or the baby. Pretty overheard them talking and vowed to destroy their relationship.
There was no Thursday episode. The show aired Monday through Wednesday, with catch-me-up marathons on Thursdays from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.
There was no Friday episode. The show aired Monday through Wednesday, with catch-me-up marathons on Thursdays from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.