Here comes the brides, all dressed in white
For the Week of July 28, 2008
For all of Pilar's pains to hide her family from Juanita, a stream of weddings is hardly a good hiding place. Pilar is becoming a real distraction, fully playing the victim, and doing nothing constructive about it.
Here comes the bride or two or three (or more), several grooms, 4 fantasies and a dead brother all in the same church. Normally I love soap weddings, but these weddings are a bit bizarre. There are no guests. Sometimes the present family members don't sit down. So far two grooms almost didn't make it, forgetting the time and doing more important things. The third groom has left the church to look for the nanny. As lovely as the gowns are and as beautiful the brides, this lacks all the fundamentals of a soap wedding and I feel completely robbed of the happy ending. Juanita was able to make it though.
For all of Pilar's pains to hide her family from Juanita, the stream of weddings in Harmony is hardly a good hiding place. Pilar is becoming a real distraction fretting and moaning about Juanita, fully playing the victim, forcing the victim role on her daughter, and doing nothing constructive about it. Tell Sam and ask for police protection. Use some of that money she got from Theresa's life insurance to get private security. At least she could hide herself. Instead she all but paints a target on her back. I don't have a lot of patience for stupidity and she's past annoying me, she's getting me angry. There are children involved for mercy's sake! Quit worrying about where Juanita is and go find out.
The absolute highlight of all these weddings was Edna and Norma. What was it Tabitha said? "Gadzooks, as long as I've lived (and I drove a wooly mammoth) I have never seen such a ghastly sight." Ghastly is hardly the word for it. It was beyond atrocious and in the very worst of taste. Edna was in full bride's regalia and fresh diaper, decorated walker and all, and her groom Norma was wearing tails; a full red hunt-master's morning coat and riding ensemble complete with top hat. It was ignorant and rude and laughable all at the same time. These two bozos actually thought they could get married in the church because the priest was blind. Was he also absent minded? Because I'm pretty sure banns were not read and a marriage license was not at the ready. I'm not against gay marriage but what is the point of getting married in a fraudulent manner? The whole thing is laughable and that was the point of this wedding. It was hilarious from start to finish. The happy couple finally decided to have Tabitha marry them in the church garden. This way Edna had her wedding day and the viewers got wonderful entertainment from the odd couple and Tabitha. It is something I shall miss. In my opinion, one of the best scenes every to appear on Passions was Norma chasing Tabitha, Edna and Rebecca with her axe at Christmas; simply side-splitting.
Triumphant in Gwen's conquest to remarry Ethan, she and Rebecca made their first mistake this week. They had a little chat in front of a video camera they didn't know was there and discussed almost every sneaky trick they'd ever pulled. Gloating was a bad idea. I was a little annoyed that they even took credit for something they had not actually done; telling Juanita where to find Pilar. But no matter, because over the years this dastardly duo has caused enough harm to the people they claim to love, including some payback to Theresa. The stage is set for the big reveal - Gwen is a liar. Surprise Ethan! You are surrounded by treacherous women. Enjoy.
So where was the other half of the triangle from hell while Gwen was gloating? Theresa was in the church feeling sorry for her self. Her mother had to remind her that this was Luis' wedding. "Stop feeling sorry for your self, this is Luis and Fancy's day, and no more swearing in church." It was classic Theresa and her me-me-me syndrome. Afterward she fled the church in tears, even before her sister's wedding, and stopped at that little seafood restaurant for a glass of wine and a few tears. Ethan followed to talk to the nanny. Thereby Theresa decided that "fate" was bringing her back to Ethan. He would find her and there was no way that Juanita would be in a little seafood restaurant on the coast. You'd think by now that Theresa would give up her mantra of fate. Every bit of progress she has made has been through her determination. If anything fate is against her. This was no exception because Ethan did not find her and Juanita was sitting at the next table listening. For years I've been laughing-out-loud when Theresa starts her fate talk and I roared this time. She has done everything wrong with this situation and she actually deserves what is coming. She had no faith in love and without faith there is only desperation. Enjoy, Theresa.
Hey, Antonio is back to irritate the viewers one last time. I'm surprised he hasn't said, "mah wife" yet. While I'm happy that Pilar's son isn't dead I'm equally enraged that Pilar seems to think he is Sheridan's true love. Pilar had to guilt Sheridan into marrying Antonio and she spent the whole marriage sleeping with his brother Luis. It's not that Pilar respects marriage since she encouraged her other children to go break one up for their own happiness. So why is this marriage special? At least Sheridan didn't disappoint. She was clear with Antonio that it is Luis she's loved more. I don't want to run around screaming rewrite again. Sooner or later fans get punished for watching for years and having good memories. The writers change history with the swipe of a pen not acknowledging that fans have vested interests in their favorite characters and Sheridan and Luis were always my super couple. It seems there will be no happy ending for me.
One last thing, many fans are expecting the happy ending they want. Many are expecting Ethan to marry Theresa. While it may well be that Ethan and Theresa want to be married, I just don't see how that is possible. As I said before, this is a church. Ethan has a wife, no church annulment for his first marriage, and the couple is lacking church banns and a marriage license. This is the wedding day. I just don't see a priest going along with this. From what I know of this writer, spoilers are deliberately deceptive and worded in such a way that fans can jump to their own conclusion while he rips the prize away at the very last second. I don't know how the writer is going to pull this off, but I keep thinking about the image in Tabitha's bowl of Theresa face down in a white dress. If the viewers have access to this station, I would not miss the last two weeks. Big things are happening. Enjoy.