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 Two Scoops: April 7, 2008 columns
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Lindsay Hartley
Gwen vs. Theresa
by Ekek
For the Week of April 7, 2008
Gwen thinks that she has a TKO on Theresa, but Theresa isn't dead. Well, maybe a bit brain dead, but that isn't news.


Gwen thinks she has a TKO on Theresa. But Theresa isn't dead. Well, maybe a bit brain dead but that isn't news. Gwen has started her new life with Ethan and the children and she's so confident that this time she will have the blissful happiness she once had before Theresa started her campaign to win Ethan. Still, the presumably dead Theresa is haunting their lives. Little Ethan had a dream, Ethan heard her singing, Gwen saw her ghostly image in a mirror. This just isn't moving forward and on some level Gwen knows that. In fact, one of the major problems with Passions is that nothing ever really moves forward. Not that much has changed since the first year. The focus of Passions has become who can do more damage; Theresa or Gwen.

Fan bases are divided. There were those who cheered on the poor girl from the wrong side of town; just as dedicated as she that this time the underdog would win the prince and the perfect life that went with him. They saw Gwen as a rich, entitled blonde who should lose it all so that the other half could know what it felt like.

Gwen's fan base is mostly people who don't think doing the wrong thing for love is acceptable. It is the old wife versus the mistress mentality. A side I am on incidentally. I find no joy in watching adultery because I don't believe that is what love is. Love is about respect for one's self and the person you love. Love another? End the marriage and act honorably with the other person. Give them the benefit of public respect. The age old battle of wife versus mistress is played out daily on Passions, to the point of gross exaggeration. Positions have been reversed. Gwen is now stooping to the level of Theresa and might I add, showing Theresa how it is done. She has succeeded in regaining her position as wife and is poised to become mother to Theresa's children.

But Theresa isn't dead, a fact that no one else is aware of. It boggles my mind that Theresa will wallow in the shadows accusing Gwen of murder. Does she not realize no one was killed? Or has Gwen once again become responsible for Theresa's impulse, self-destructive actions? Pilar joins her in the accusations, berating Gwen for a murder that never occurred. Gwen did nothing but blackmail. She actually warned Theresa not to go to Mexico, yet Theresa did and now Gwen it seems is back in the brain control department, pulling the puppet strings of the world's most obsessed mistress.

If you didn't catch the latest, Ivy and Rebecca decided to hire a nanny and Theresa showed up in costume as a hideous ugly woman, someone Ethan would never look twice at. As usual she was unprepared and didn't bring a resume or references or even have a fake name picked out for her self. All she saw was the chance to get into the Crane Mansion and she took it. Trapped as usual, she pulled the common name of Wilson out of the air and hoped for the best.


Little Julian got whacked

Vickie the hit man is back it again, killing Esme's lovers. "No one will take Auntie Esme from me" she chants. She follows the lovers to the Crane Mausoleum and awaits her chance then creeps out and stabs Julian repeated in his "little Julian" performing a Lorena Bobbitt on the unsuspecting victim. Oh, the indignity of such a wound on the lotharios Julian Crane. But not to worry, the drunken drug addict Eve Russell has been called in to perform the delicate reattachment surgery and Vincent is going to help her. "How dare someone attack my father, that is my job," Vincent declares. So he's off with Mommy to finish the job. Me thinks Julian was better off left to Vickie's knife. As usual Esme was hysterically funny weeping for Julian's "Wink Winkle." The assassination of Little Julian and Esme's antics are hilarious as a younger and dumber version of Rebecca.

Speaking of Rebecca all dressed up in her shark skin shoes at Theresa's memorial service. The toast of the week: "To sharks everywhere."

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