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 Two Scoops: March 24, 2008 columns
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Juliet Mills
Is karma at work in Harmony?
by Ekek
For the Week of March 24, 2008
Tabitha sure turned on the citizens of Harmony fast enough when the evil elf threatened her daughter last week. She's serving them all up on a platter by trying to bargain with evil. After 400-plus years, you'd think that she'd have learned her lesson.


It certainly seems so. Gwen has spent years trying to hold onto a man who loves another woman. Finally, she believes, she has him to herself because she thinks Theresa is dead. But she doesn't. She is now competing with a memory for Ethan's attention and that is a fight she cannot win. Memories are reformed and therefore perfect; a live nagging wife is not. Oh, what a laugh. Gwen wanted Ethan at any cost and she declared she didn't care if he still cared about Theresa as long as he was with her. Be careful what you wish for Gwennie, because it seems the heavens were listening and now you have it. Enjoy the misery you brought upon yourself.

Ethan was the dolt who could never choose between devotion and duty and passion and lust. He always said he wanted to do right by his family and now he has the chance to do that. The silly man doesn't seem to be enjoying himself. I think of every time he wished Theresa would just go away and leave him alone - and alone he is. Good job Ethan, you Cad. You simply cannot play honorable husband and father while you sit on the fence as the grieving lover to your married mistress.

Theresa may be the funniest of all. Gwen wished Theresa gone, but Theresa started wishing evil for Gwen on the every first episode. I couldn't possibly list the years of ill-tidings she hoped for Gwen, but she did recently wish her living in a cardboard box. Now where is Theresa? On the outside looking in, nose pressed up against the glass. [I seem to remember a fantasy about that one.] And it is Theresa who is reduced to hitchhiking and crawling into cardboard boxes to stay warm. Wow, if thoughts become things then Theresa is in for big trouble. Theresa said, "I cannot believe you Gwen, first you get me killed and then you swoop down on Ethan like a vulture." I guess next week she'll be wearing feathers because, 1. She isn't dead, and 2. I thought it was okay to chase a man if you loved him? It is okay, Theresa, isn't it? Or do you just not like being beaten with your own tactics.

These are the inconsistencies I don't get about Theresa, her double standards. For instance, Alistair told her on several occasions that she cannot have Ethan. She even said she understood. He told her point blank that he'd kill him if she says a word about Little Ethan's true paternity and he told her that more than once. Juanita and the DEA assure her that her entire family will be killed if she doesn't stay dead but she high-tails it back to Harmony without so much as a glimmer of a plan. Gwen isn't the most dangerous person in Harmony, Theresa is. No one told her to marry Alistair, no one told her to make deals she wasn't going to keep, no one told her to run to Mexico and bring Juanita that much closer to her goal. But "life isn't worth living without Ethan;" Too bad it's other people's lives at stake.

Kay, Kay, Kay, you flaming liar. You make a promise to Miguel, use magic and create an evil elf, lie about it, forbid Tabitha to get rid of it using magic, and then blame her when he haunts the house. Well, dearie, it seems your lies are going to be short lived because Miguel is catching on. Even your future mother-in-law is catching on and you know you can't go live with her. Not if you don't want her to figure out you are a witch. I predict that Kay doesn't have much more happiness in store for her, certainly not after the wedding disasters the magic bowl showed Tabitha.

Speaking of Tabitha, she might be my favorite but she sure turned on the citizens of Harmony fast enough when that evil elf threatened her daughter. She's serving them all up on a platter by trying to bargain with evil. After 400-plus years you'd think she'd have learned about the treachery of the dark side. I see lesson # 20,000 coming. And I don't mean more pie in the face.

The nasty three of Harmony sat around and drank champagne and chatted about Theresa's untimely end. It annoyed me no end that Ivy and Gwen pretended to be shocked by Rebecca, given that they hated Theresa as much or more than she did. Rebecca may be a cartoon type character but you have to laugh at her. "A toast to Theresa, may she rest in pieces." Oh, Rebecca, you crack me up.

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