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 Two Scoops: May 22, 2006 columns
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Lindsay Hartley
Romantic Rome
For the Week of May 22, 2006
From day one, Theresa has harped on living the good life like the Cranes. She can't do that with Ethan. Surely Alistair won't let Ethan work at Crane Enterprises when he comes back. Can Ethan make enough money at the garage to make Theresa happy?
"Get some new material dears", Esme cooed to Noah and Fancy. Esme was a hoot this week with her getting Noah's name wrong and telling Noah and Fancy to get some new material. I couldn't agree with her more. This whining and moping, and "I love you, but you need to trust me" and "I can't believe you slept with her again" is getting old. It's refreshing to see Fancy in scenes with Luis just to hear some new dialogue come out of Emily's mouth.

Beth was right under Luis' nose twice, but he was too caught up with Fancy both times to notice. If you thought Sheridan was upset about the kiss Fancy and Luis shared, imagine how she'd feel if she new that tidbit. Marty manages to call out to his father, and Luis gives chase to Beth, who is still as delusional as ever. I really wish she could come back to the show full time, but I don't know how. After stealing Contessa Crane's child, surely she is going to be locked away in a looney bin for years to come.

Why does Sheridan have a picture with Beth in it? I understand that it's a picture of Marty, but with all the improvements they have now, surely Sheridan could have Beth digitally removed. If some whack job took off with my son, I wouldn't have pictures of her lying around my house. And now the symbol has shown up in Chris' suitcase and he gave Sheridan a book with the missing paintings in it. How exactly does he tie into the Vendetta storyline? Is he a good guy or a bad guy? Does he know the monk?

Gwen relents and allows Ethan to go to Rome with Theresa. This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. If Theresa could send guards to protect Luis and Chad, why not send guards to protect Paloma, Simone, and Jessica? And why is Ethan so concerned about Jessica. He's spent maybe all of five minutes with her since he's found out she's his sister. What exactly are Theresa and Ethan going to do? It's not as if any of them have actual training to handle criminals. Why didn't Ethan call Sam to go along with them? Or at least contact the police in Rome?

When Ethan threatened to jump out of the airplane without a parachute if Theresa tried to seduce him, I was actually hoping she'd strip down and jump him. And she did as soon as that sleeping pill kicked in on Ethan. And she is hilarious the way she tells him how she's making love to him like it's the most natural thing in the world. Like he hasn't kicked her to the curb a zillion times before.

I'm intrigued with the emails Theresa has received. One said a Harmony-ite will die in Rome. I'm guessing Beth, Spike, or Chris if he ends up over there. The other said she would gain Ethan and lose her love. If the tabloid truth came out, Ethan would most likely leave Gwen and go back to Theresa. Gwen would probably take off with Jane, as I stated several weeks ago that Jane is the only reason Gwen is staying with Ethan now. Could her child be the love she is going to lose?

Or would money be the love she is going to lose? From day one, Theresa has harped on living the good life like the Cranes. She can't do that with Ethan. Surely Alistair won't let Ethan work at Crane Enterprises when he comes back. Alistair would most likely pull the same stunt Theresa did by not letting Ethan work anywhere while under contract to Crane. Can Ethan make enough money at the garage to make Theresa happy?

So Siren was flipping around over 40 years ago, and was kind enough to pose for a tattoo for Carl. Miguel noticed the mermaid tattoo that looked like Siren. Then Carl told Miguel she was really a mermaid. And this mermaid wants to jump "Miguel McYummy's" bones every chance she gets. And now there is this mermaid's curse that if a man makes love to a mermaid he can't ever have another woman again. That must've come out of the porno version of "The Little Mermaid."

Can anyone really blame Kay for disliking Siren? All she does is talk about how much she wants to make love to Miguel, but then she finds her in a compromising position with Fox. It seems like Siren is there to cause trouble, and she's stirring that pot quite nicely. And Kay's pot almost boiled over at that photo shoot. And did the photographer remind anyone else of the beloved Stanford from "Sex and the City"!!!

Some Random Thoughts:

Jessica joking about being a serial killer while she was a prostitute was not funny. I'm glad Paloma told her so too.

I see why no one took the Crane jet to Rome. Everyone else was in Rome in minutes whereas it took forever for Ethan and Theresa to land.

Kelli McCarty is looking fabulous.

I loved that the Harmony-ites figured out quickly that it was odd they all ended up in Rome together. I'm glad this didn't drag on forever.

Viewer's Voice:

"I am completely tired of the same storylines over and over! I've been watching since '02, the episode where Theresa was in labor and stabbed Gwen. Then, I thought it was the best soap ever, but after 4 yrs, I'm tired and have moved on to GH (PS's time-slot rival in my city). How about Gwen finally leaving Ethan and hooking up with Chad? That would be interesting. How about Theresa finally getting over Ethan, or even him dying, leaving us fans with a kind of Jill/Kay feud like on Y&R. I cant keep watching Ethan play both of these women over and over, and if I hear him tell Theresa on the sly again, that he loves her, but is 'devoted' to Gwen. What the heck does that mean? This show definitely needs new writers. It has so many problems, that I cannot even begin to start. But, I'll try: find some real talent instead of just eye candy. Invest in the characters. Theresa is a fan favorite, but I'm sure she'll be even more respected if she actually focused more on her children instead Ethan. And I've always hated Luis. He's stupid and wooden and his so-called cop instincts skills have always been laughable. Lastly bring back some of the comedy that us fans love! Some big changes need to be made soon or we might not have PS around anymore. After all, Another World was cancelled for a lot less than this!" Thanks Dwayne!!!

"I'm going to scream. I can't believe the writers would have the character of Terror attempt to 'rape' Ethan again. I am completely convinced this character looks at Ethan as a piece of meat or better yet her own personal property. She doesn't listen to him or care about how he feels because it's all about what she thinks. I also find it especially disturbing that this show continues to throw around the rape card. Theresa is a rape victim herself so for her to turn around and do that to a man who sleeping (and drugged) is sick! I pray this vile piece of sludge never gets Ethan or the family she THINKS she deserves. I don't know how anyone can root for her." Thanks Katie!!!

"I just wanted to comment on people's apparent disdain for the whole 'Da Vinci Code' storyline. Although, I do understand that when individuals turn on daytime television, they are looking for some originality, but I have to say Passions is staying true to itself by doing this storyline. Since the beginning of Passions, it has been campy, and very offbeat. If anything this storyline is very Passions orientated. The show has always been different and I kind of like the fact that it takes blockbusters and puts its own spin on it. I think that's what makes Passions the show that it is, the fact that it moves away from what is expected and is always pushing the envelope on something new!" Thanks Trey!!!

"I really liked what you said about Beth. I know it probably won't turn out this way, but I hope that Beth gets away with Marty again, seeing as how Sheridan is to busy with her marriage to Mr. Chris Booth." Thanks Kidiokos!!!

"Have the writers of this show ever even watched a soap before? The siren thing is stupid!! Really stupid. The Theresa thing is so old it dates back to the beginning and the writers are just afraid that if they solve this problem with Gwen/Ethan/Theresa that the show is finished. If it ends they will have no new ideas, because they have absolutely no talent to write soaps. The soaps are about sex and passion and fantasy duh... The show is called 'Passions' for goodness sakes!!!! All the couples they show us have no connection. Gwen and Ethan yuck...Noah and Fancy...boring...Sheridan and Chris or Luis...boring. Maybe the writers should watch some Y&R for awhile." Thanks Jenny!!!

"I think I hit a new record. I watched 2 episodes in less than 10 minutes. If Tabby and Endora aren't on, what's left? I admit, Siren is goofy, but Tabby said mermaids were like that. I am, however, really steamed that Kay, who was a good, strong character for a while with old Fox, is now just another Stepford, I mean Harmony woman. What is it with these women who constantly put up with crap from men? Miguel never cared for her. Luis is a bully. Ethan is a…Chad is ewww. I don't get it. And, if I came home from a hard day of supporting my family, and MY husband was sleeping with his ex? They both would be booted out. I wonder why Theresa doesn't offer Gwen twenty million dollars for Ethan? She'd probably throw the kids in, since all she really cares about is that dumb cluck." Thanks MJ!!!

"Hey Brandi, I just wanted to say how much I really enjoyed Passions this week. I absolutely loved seeing Beth again!!! I'm so glad she's back! I know I might be sounding like a traitor, but I loved seeing Luis and Fancy together! These two could be the next big, hot super couple! Also, the Miguel/Siren/Fox/Kay storyline isn't boring me as much as I thought it might, although I can't stand the nuFox!!! I loved seeing Paloma, Jessica, and Simone together searching for the stolen paintings! I have to say I have no idea how all of these people are connected to Passions Vendetta storyline but I'm very anxious to find out!!!" Thanks Trey!!!

Until next week friends,
Brandi


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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