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 Two Scoops: December 12, 2005 columns
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Eric Martsolf
Blue Christmas
For the Week of December 12, 2005
Theresa has managed to trump herself yet again. Last week, she kidnapped Ethan, and practically the whole town wants her head. This fantasy that she has of Ethan coming out of the coma and wanting to make love to her is absurd.
So Theresa has managed yet again to trump herself. She's kidnapped Ethan while practically the whole town wants her head. It's amazing that with only a high school diploma she knows all about that complicated medical equipment and how to read vital signs. Did she attend the Eve Russell School of medicine while I was without Passions during Katrina? And this fantasy she has of Ethan coming out of the coma and wanting to make love to her is absurd. Why does she seem to keep forgetting Ethan is married?

After I typed last week's column, I realized this point and had every intention of making it. However, Cassandra makes a better point. "What really ticks me off is that Theresa has been bitching that Gwen stole Jane from her. Hello?! You have now kidnapped Ethan and left your daughter behind!! Also she says that she will do anything to protect Little Ethan from Alistair so that he doesn't turn out like him. Ummmm....she has now left him alone with Alistair and doesn't plan to come back for a while. In the time that she's gone Alistair will have corrupted Little Ethan and she will blame it all on Alistair. I hate to be in Little Ethan and Jane's shoes. All this stuff that's been happening is going to be screaming for therapy later. Maybe they will turn out like Jessica..." Thanks so much Cassandra!!!!!!!!!!

It is refreshing to see a blonde different from Gwen calling Theresa a slut and a whore (I'm referring to Fancy here). While she annoyed me most of the week, I loved her catching Noah dead in the act and calling him on it. Will she turn them in next week, after she spent most of this week wishing them both the death sentence? And Monique makes a great point, "Wouldn't it be interesting if Noah's ex-girlfriend and former 'only true love' is the other Crane daughter (Fancy's sister) that we have yet to meet?" That would be cool, but way too much Simone/Whitney/Chad and Luis/Antonio/Sheridan. Those storylines were awful enough the first go round.

How in the world does Julian keep getting himself into these pickles? He can't divorce Rebecca or Eve will go to jail (yeah right). Now he has the frog trying to rape him in order to keep her from killing Eve. Why doesn't someone just kill her already? It's not as though she'll be missed.

I know it's this spell that has Fox acting like a total ass, but if I were Kay I wouldn't put up with it. There is no way he'd have slept with me and then turned around and yelled at me like that. Ivy would get her wish so fast and evil Valerie could have him. And is it just me, or would anyone else like to see Valerie become more Beth-like. Kelli McCarty is sorely missed.

My dad has three kids with his first wife. We don't get along, but if one of them were dying, I don't think I'd be demanding he pay attention to me. Jessica is so far gone, I'm not sure the writers can bring her back. Best thing to do is write her off and start over fresh with a new character.

Lady In Red:

"I have a different theory about the Lady in Red just because I have hopes that JER will FINALLY really, really shock us. What if she is Alistair's older sister that he had 'killed' so that he could take over the company and the Crane fortune? Now she is back to take what is rightfully hers and set things right with the citizens of Harmony to prove that not all of the Cranes are evil and vindictive!!!" Thanks Katie!!!

"It would be nice to see Victoria Wyndham (ex-Rachel, AW) back on daytime and since she has similar facial features to Katherine, if the mystery woman is in fact Rachel, she would be a good candidate." Thanks Monique!!!!!!!!

Some Random Thoughts:

It's that time again. Yes, dear readers, the holidays are upon us and the New Year will be here before we know it. And with the New Year brings my annual Best and Worst Column. The categories this year are, Best/Worst Actor and Actress, Best/Worst Character, Best/Worst Storyline, Most Missed Character, Character That Needs To Go, and Most Surprising Moment. You have until December 31, 2005 to send in your nominations. The column will be posted late January 1, 2006 or early January 2, 2006.

"You know, each episode of Passions, I get more and more annoyed with Theresa. I thought it was pretty funny of her telling Noah that she's "saving" Ethan (and how is she saving him exactly?) but what happens when there's a power outage at the Crane cabin? This goes to prove that Theresa is a moron. And a psycho for that matter." Thanks Alexandra!!!

"Are we sure about this living will? I mean really. What if it is Alistair's doing and Ethan's will is nothing more than a way for the [Alistair] to get rid of Ethan to hurt Teresa? And Gwen & Mommy dearest should finally get theirs for leaking Ethan's paternity to the tabloids. This has been a long time coming. We've got mysterious women wearing red, people coming back from the dead and all sorts of other craziness- and no one has managed to stumble across this little e-mail blunder? Come On! I'm ready to see a house fall on top of these two witches." I'm sure the will isn't Alistair's doing because Gwen has stated repeatedly that Ethan told her about this. But the email thing does need to come out. Thanks Syliva!!!!!!!!!!!

"Being a sucker for romance myself, I love the Kay/Fox thing. They are so sweet together. I personally want to toss Valerie in the sea. I hope Fox realizes his mistake. Fancy is great when she's away from Noah. I hate the way he treats her. He's listened to hateful Ivy too much. Fancy has a lot of potential. I'd like to see more Fancy/Fox interaction. The office scene was a hoot!" Thanks MJ!!!

"With the living will Theresa did make a good point, and it's a true point. Ethan's living will state he does not want to be kept alive by machines IF HE IS BRAIN DEAD!! Ethan did not say anything about him being in a coma. When you are in a coma you are alive. So, furthermore Gwen pulling the plug means she is pulling the plug on someone who is alive but in a sleep! Being in a coma and being brain dead is two different things!!! He is not brain dead, so actually Gwen is the one who is at fault here." If you want to get technical about it, Ethan's been brain dead since day one; the plug should've been pulled on him a long time ago. I am of the understanding Ethan didn't want to live in a vegetative state, which is why Gwen is doing this. Thanks for writing in Jane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I am completely appalled by her [Liz's] behavior in Friday's episode. Everyone's grieving Ethan's impending termination and all she cares about is getting Julian to make love to her?! And what's worse, threatening to kill Eve if he doesn't?! My God, I was starting to feel some sympathy for her after finding out Julian raped her, but this display pretty much killed all the sympathy. I am now more disgusted in the frog than ever and hope she ultimately gets hers. And soon!" Thanks Jamison!!!!!!!!!!

"Last week Fancy told Noah that although Alistair was evil to her grandmother she never tried to kill him. I remember Kathy trying to kill him twice when she got back from Mexico. Also all these people are making Jane such a major issue but the nanny seems to be the only person caring for her." Thanks Tye!!!!!!!!!

Quote of the week: "I agree I can't stand that Gwen. I hope you know they say that a person in a coma hears everything you say. I hope it keeps ringing in his mind how Gwen was so 'Quick Draw McGraw' in killing him and Theresa was constantly fighting to keep him alive. Hell maybe he wont even know Gwen when he wakes up. That would be nice for a while, but I know the writers and that would just be a delay on him going back to Gwen. Not because he loves her, but because he's sticking to his vows." Thanks Angela!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas,
Brandi


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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